Mass Effect Andromeda: Shitstorm Edition - RIP Biowear

[Jaimas]

some people ITT are trying way too hard to hate the game. its a stupid and overpriced game by stupid overrated people for stupid over-rich morons, not a white genocide lol calm down

You know what this reminds me of? Like, a lot?

Command and Conquer 4.

A few Kiwis who've been paying attention may have noticed I said EA was cyclical with its behavior. I meant this. EA will go through cycles where it becomes absolutely fucking amazing for a bit, does everything right, seemingly has the golden touch with its teams and staff, and then suddenly, a change in management happens and everything fucks up.

C&C went into a bit of a dry spell for a bit after Westwood got bought out. Generals got released, and while a fantastic game, it never was quite as big as Tiberian Sun or Red Alert 2. At some point, during one of EA's upward swings, it did something.... Well, fucking awesome. It went out of its way to get pretty much every member of Westwood's old team together and threw a truckload of money at them making arguably the best C&C game to date. The result was Tiberium Wars, which was not only a fucking great game, but was so successful that it actually almost cracked into being a legit e-sports title. Oldschool fans and newcomers alike raved about it, because it would run fine on shitty computers but looked smooth as buttered glass if you had a high-end rig. It got a fantastic, love-letter-to-the-fans expansion in Kane's Wrath, and a good time was had by all. Stuff started to get set up for Red Alert 3, hopes were high, and it looked like things were on the rebound.

Then the Electronic Arts as usual happened. Management got rotated out, the guys who knew what they were doing got axed, the new management with no understanding of video games slashed budgets, RA3 had to make do with less cash, and pressured the team to get C&C 4 out ASAP. With no budget and most of the team fucking off to greener pastures because of increasing management interference and incompetence, management insisted that the game emulate a popular E-Sports RTS of the time, which was THQ's Dawn of War II.

In the end, the result was a terrible game with everything slashed and burned to meet a deadline, always online (because fuck you), created mostly by third-stringers with next to no budget. To quote a friend of mine: "I'm not going to say it's a terrible game, but I will say that despite pirating it, I feel ripped off." The franchise died, never to return.

 

[Xenomorph]

This makes Hamburger Helper look almost slightly professional.

 

[Lackadaisy]

This makes Hamburger Helper look almost slightly professional.

At least Hepler was but one person on the dev team. Now it seems like MEA is full of people like her.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

That was the situation in Mass Effect 2 ... except since one of the aliens was Garrus, no one cared.

Y'know I've just realised that I have no idea what the female romance options were in the series.

They definitely had all the bases covered for the basement dweller crowd. Hot chick who quotes poetry, haughty "perfect" girl with amazing ass, sexy bisexual space-babe, angry emo tattoo chick who needs "saved" and awkward, nerdy alien girl. I'm amazed they didn't let you bone the Asian chick, Kasumi.

EA was cyclical with its behavior. I meant this. EA will go through cycles where it becomes absolutely fucking amazing for a bit, does everything right, seemingly has the golden touch with its teams and staff, and then suddenly, a change in management happens and everything fucks up.

Look at Dead Space. Last gen, they greenlit and bankrolled one of the best new I.P's. 5 years and two sequels later they'd destroyed it completely.

 

[Null]

 

[ICametoLurk]

 

[RIP_SANITY]

I'm surprised Manveer hasn't tweeted KILL WHITEY yet.

 

[Mola Ram]

I'm surprised Manveer hasn't tweeted KILL WHITEY yet.

You know what? Good. I love those tweets. I'm delighted BioWare not only took no action against this shitdick, but made sure to stand beside him as if he were something to be proud of. Because if Andromeda turns out to be Trainwreck of the Year, then Manveer Heir is going to be hung around their neck like the Ancient Mariner's albatross.

 

[Robotron]

How do you fuck up animation this badly, I mean I could understand if it was a few fuckups here and there, just minor ones, but screwing up your animation to the point where stuff like this and a scene where a character shoots a gun that's backwards, just how?

 

[ICametoLurk]

How do you fuck up animation this badly, I mean I could understand if it was a few fuckups here and there, just minor ones, but screwing up your animation to the point where stuff like this and a scene where a character shoots a gun that's backwards, just how?

The answer is always Autism.

 

[SoberBlitz]

EA strikes again, destroying a once prominent and beloved gaming studio. I'm somewhat surprised it took this long for the EA effect to strike Bioware. I give Bioware maybe 1-1 1/2 years depending on how well ME:A does.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

I'm surprised Manveer hasn't tweeted KILL WHITEY yet.

That's the legend known as Curry Thunder you're talking about, show some fucking respect.

 

[Honeybunny]

You'd think these were just a few cherry-picked examples, but no

His entire twitter is full of shit like this

 

[Chefbot]

That's the legend known as Curry Thunder you're talking about, show some fucking respect.

Curry Thunder? Is that he calls his shits?

 

[Honeybunny]

Curry Thunder? Is that he calls his shits?

He's crowned himself King Curry Thunder, which is about as embarassing as it osunds

 

[Secret Asshole]

Dude sounds like he is over compensating for something. Like maybe a white girl rejected him and he is all 'FUCK WHITE PEOPLE FOREVER, ALL WHITE BITCHES ARE UGLY.'

That or he is a stupid motherfucker who would have long been fired at any other company if he said that about literally any other race.

 

[Vault Boy]

As someone who is looking forward to the game, that dude's a racist asshole who should've been fired months ago.

 

[Dysnomia]

Some more hilarity. Apparently in the character creator, you can't get any lighter skin tone than this (unless you play default characters, which you apparently can't edit):

Their excuse:

They can't even get skin tones right, and they can't even fix it on fucking day 1. These are the people that are being trusted to make the game 'good' after 10 hours. Yeah, no. I don't believe I've ever seen an excuse this bad. How inept are you that you can't correctly implement a color slider? Holy fucking shit. Anyone who buys this shitshow is an idiot.

Also, allegedly there are only 2 romance options for straight female Ryder, 3 for straight male and 5 for gay either way.

Holy cow I'm as pale as death. I don't think that I'd be able to make me that way. What about all of the gingers playing? Don't gingers get enough flack as is? If this had been an issue with skin tones not being able to be set dark enough you better believe there would be a day one patch.

As it stands now on most places I've visited, you get dog piled for criticizing the game's animations and other flaws. It doesn't matter if your critique is reasonable or a rant.

Well it looks like Liam is indeed straight. Jaal is bi though. So cue the fangirlgasms.

 

[OtterParty]

Jaal is pig disgusting, ranking beneath only Peebee and any Fem Ryder on the ugly scale. And also he's not Garrus.

 

[Accel_Rider]

Jaal is pig disgusting, ranking beneath only Peebee and any Fem Ryder on the ugly scale. And also he's not Garrus.

Not!Garrus is pretty much how you describe Jaal