How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[DenseDeerFather]

Communities always tend to tear each other down due to co-opts. I remember a niche vtuber who let a lesbian in her server. It then tended to fall apart due to mods giving her special treatment over regulars. I ended up leaving with a few other guys.

I got stories for this shit. Like how some dude joined a Discord server for a game I really liked. Server was soon co-opted by that guy who also just happened to be the admin's close friend, and so he wasn't a mod but had a special role where he floated between mod and regular. As it turned out, he used this to blatantly give out roles to girls, he'd creep on and this all just happened in the open and the admin did fuck all until the server imploded - multiple times.

Anyway, I feel alright today. My neighbour has been so quiet, it's a blessing. I can still smell her gross hairwash and her cigs whenever she opens her door to the public garden, but she has stuck to herself and more importantly left me the fuck alone.

I wonder how she feeds herself because I never ever hear her leave her place, so either she got stuck for a few apocalypses, or she eats like a bird.

But anyway, no skin off my nose either way.

 

[Cemetery Support]

I am underprepared for the next phase of life. No concrete plans. Nada. Zilch. Shouldn't be too difficult to pull strands of a plan from the aether to reify and execute. Family breathing down my neck. I owe everyone a duty of performance. Too busy to think about it all and I've sworn to myself I will not fall for the trap of half-assing some things.

I'm a confident, mean son of a bitch. When I want things to happen I can force them into existence. But goddamnit I just want to relax for like a day.

 

[Starscream's Loyalty]

Im so fucking unhappy with my job that I cry at night in bed. Getting a new one. I can't fucking handle all the passive aggressive customers and belittling coworkers who think just cuz they're old and have sand in their pussies makes them think they're above me.

I'll be glad when you're dead, Janet.

 

[Medic]

Now that you guys mention it, I am not really content with my job. I have to work nightwatch on both Saturday and Sunday just to save up for paying bills. I also have to work in the heat, and I was informed by my account manager, who told us that taking breaks in the shade is unacceptable, and they cut Thursday half a day off for two weeks because they got so many greencards. There is a job that pays 22-30 an hour, and they want to call me for an interview, but it involves spraying myself with industrial-grade poison. But a higher pay raise for 3 months.



It's a fork in the road, but I think I'd rather work for something I know the risk of, then work for a company for 7 months and call myself buddy. Or do nothing about a crackhead hitting me with a lawnmower a few months ago. So fuck'em.

 

[DavidS877]

Mom is doing well, she's annoyed with my idiot brother who didn't mow nearly enough while she was in the hospital. So first I got to pull the lawn tractor out so she could use it one handed(the other is slowly recovering) and when that failed due to too much fucking grass I got to pull out the track loader. It's like a Bobcat loader but with tracks instead of wheels, dad always ran it so I never had so my first experience was to drop the bucket off and hook up the mower. Then I handed it off to mom and she trundled off mowing everything one handed. It has 2 joysticks and the motion controls she had to use the 'wrong' hand with. But apparently is doing well as I headed home.

Uneventful trip home, sure faster than driving but the number of small fires this early in the year in the PNW is way too damn high. Now cleaning bugs off the plane before the next time the owner decides to fly it.

Nice scenery for the trip.

 

[BABANGUIDE64]

Being less than a full fledged man like a lesion to society is indignifying.

 

[JustStopDude]

I had my interview in Utah. I had to fly Thursday night, getting to a hotel at around 10pm. Then in the morning, I walked to the place. I got to say, Utah is pretty. Did the interview with about four people.

These folks are really Mormon. Honestly I don't have a problem with that other than it's a bit unnerving how nice everyone is.

Owner says "we have a strong relationship with your prior employer, JSD. We can't jeopardize that. So we did contact numerous people in your old organization"

Me "I would expect you to do that"

Owner "well what is strange is that everyone we talked to not only recommended you, but kind of begged us to hire you. Why is that?"

Me "they don't have a training or customer support department anymore. I would guess that they are desperate to have someone to work as a contractor"

Owner "yes...but why did they fire you?"

"I honestly don't know"

Their offer is very fair. Just a couple of things terrify me. Moving to the other side of the country, to a state that I have zero contacts is unnerving. I have no idea what I would do with my house.

I would also have to learn a slew of more industrial equipment beyond the one company I have been working on.

Also, no hot coffee in the office and I'm pretty sure they would expect me to stop smoking.

I feel like an asshole even trying to talk about this shit to people. Most people I know are really struggling. And I think for most people would say "dude, it's a no brainer. Just move."

I just wish this happened like 10 years ago. In my thirties, it would be so much easier to just up end my life and reinvent myself. Now that I'm older, it's like somehow I've become more nervous about change.

I'm being irrational.

 

[Archeops]

I’m doing okay, I helped a friend move from a rental home to one he purchased outright and now helping a friend move some shit from a studio to a storage facility.

My family is doing okay but my old man is suffering from a ruptured disc that’s giving him severe leg pain. He’s on pain meds right now but I have a feeling he’s going to have to have it surgically repaired.

Other than that I’m just trucking along on the road of life.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Just brute-forced a super thin and bendy splinter in the skin over a knuckle out. Minor annoyance but swollen and annoying all the same. It was on my dominant hand so I couldn't even use tweezers well to try to pull it out, just pushed and shoved it (mostly) out of the entry spot. Hurt like a bitch but mostly out so good-ish. I even wear elbow-length leather gloves to do yard work, so not sure how it happened, but I have about a dozen other scratches and scrapes on my hands as well, so apparently I'm not dainty when I work. God give me a big raise next year so I can hire out some of this shit. 6 giant bags and counting to go out for yard waste pickup tonight (goal: 10), so good progress, I guess.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Just listening to my coworkers describe their kids' lives is puzzling. This one daughter has worked 3 x 4 months in three different countries and is going into radiology when she gets home. She's like 19. Imagine how much life experience that must've given her. Of course she'll be able to get any job she wants, and she'll keep going upwards because she won't suddenly lose all this God-given passion for life and exploration.

I feel some sense of envy but I don't actually wanna travel. I don't wanna have duties and go to clubs. But I know I'd probably be okay with doing these things if I knew what they led to. A friend of mine was a janitor, got off his ass, worked in Canada for a year, then England for a year, then back to Australia before going to Japan. He abused the queen's passport and got a second wind in life. That I'm jealous of.

Communities always tend to tear each other down due to co-opts. I remember a niche vtuber who let a lesbian in her server. It then tended to fall apart due to mods giving her special treatment over regulars. I ended up leaving with a few other guys.

It's funny how vastly different organic communities are compared to Discords and text-based groups. The cool kids were always on voice, mocking others who preferred text. Then Discord became the norm and suddenly they were the mute losers nobody cared for. Shit, I remember once me and 3 others mutes just texted until I got banned for not speaking. It wasn't cause of the text, the notification sounds or anything. It was simply the (now a troon) sperging out that we had something else going on they didn't have under control.

I've been playing on an active TF2 server recently and it's exhausting. You need to either be on voice or spam text chat to be noticed, which of course I want to be. I'm here to maybe add a regular or two. Be someone people welcome back. Which means I have to spam and be funny non-stop, and I just wanna fucking be instead of having to put up these acts in public spaces. I can see why LGTBQ fags do nothing but spam porn and sex innuendos: It's easy attention. You don't have to be funny or witty if you just go "Oh yeah? ;3" standing next to your porn spray.

And that's exactly what led to the majority of 'lispy gay furries' becoming just that, for a few years until the phase was over.

 

[The Early 2000s]

I paid off my student debt in full. I am officially debt free. Feels good.

 

[Broken fab Godzilla]

Tired asf. I have an older family member who has dementia and I have to get up through out the night to check on them. I have my own serious health issues and it's all been exhausting.I've been trying to fast, so that probably is not helping the feeling of tiredness.

 

[Internet Wizard]

I wish I could stop being depressed, it's starting to actually impact my quality of life
I feel like I'm wasting away most of the time even if I'm going outside and doing work etc, I just don't feel like I'm doing my best at all and I'm too exhausted all the time to do more

 

[souschef]

I think i'm going demented

I dumped my pillows and sheets on my kitchen floor and had no recollection of doing that, apparently i do it while i sleep

This is scary, i gotta get that checked out

 

[JanuaryViolet]

I think i'm going demented

I dumped my pillows and sheets on my kitchen floor and had no recollection of doing that, apparently i do it while i sleep

This is scary, i gotta get that checked out

It might just be sleepwalking. Has it happened more than once? (source/PL: I didn't know I did this until I beaned myself really good falling on the stairs in my home about two years ago. The thing is, I had to have been going *up* the stairs to fall like this which meant I had previously gone *down* them while fully unaware.) Are you taking anything to help you sleep? Ambien does this to a lot of people; you can engage in some pretty complex behavior with no recollection of it the following day. Chances are, your brain is fine, it's just sleepwalking, but get it checked out if you're concerned. It's not uncommon and probably won't happen again.

 

[Not A Bunny]

I feel like an asshole even trying to talk about this shit to people. Most people I know are really struggling. And I think for most people would say "dude, it's a no brainer. Just move."

I just wish this happened like 10 years ago. In my thirties, it would be so much easier to just up end my life and reinvent myself. Now that I'm older, it's like somehow I've become more nervous about change.

I've been there. Of course you're nervous about change, and I was coincidentally offered a job in SLC that I didn't take.

Things are harder to hack when you get older, especially if you're single. Relationships are harder to get into. Friend groups are more difficult to find. And what if you upended your life for no reason at all and you're stuck in a place you don't like?

This should be easy. Unfortunately, it isn't.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide.

 

[JustStopDude]

I sincerely wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide.

Thanks.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I had my interview in Utah. I had to fly Thursday night, getting to a hotel at around 10pm. Then in the morning, I walked to the place. I got to say, Utah is pretty. Did the interview with about four people.

These folks are really Mormon. Honestly I don't have a problem with that other than it's a bit unnerving how nice everyone is.

Owner says "we have a strong relationship with your prior employer, JSD. We can't jeopardize that. So we did contact numerous people in your old organization"

Me "I would expect you to do that"

Owner "well what is strange is that everyone we talked to not only recommended you, but kind of begged us to hire you. Why is that?"

Me "they don't have a training or customer support department anymore. I would guess that they are desperate to have someone to work as a contractor"

Owner "yes...but why did they fire you?"

"I honestly don't know"

Their offer is very fair. Just a couple of things terrify me. Moving to the other side of the country, to a state that I have zero contacts is unnerving. I have no idea what I would do with my house.

I would also have to learn a slew of more industrial equipment beyond the one company I have been working on.

Also, no hot coffee in the office and I'm pretty sure they would expect me to stop smoking.

I feel like an asshole even trying to talk about this shit to people. Most people I know are really struggling. And I think for most people would say "dude, it's a no brainer. Just move."

I just wish this happened like 10 years ago. In my thirties, it would be so much easier to just up end my life and reinvent myself. Now that I'm older, it's like somehow I've become more nervous about change.

I'm being irrational.

I can relate to that sense of feeling against or fearing big change as you get older. I hate that I have less of a sense of "the world is mine/ anything is possible - let's go!" than I used to. But tbh, if I had no ties or need to preserve a space for others*, I think in your situation I'd go if it looked good from a money & adventure standpoint.

* I've been debating moving for ages bc the costs of where I am are outrageous and I don't need the space I have, and my (young adult) kids have encouraged me to do so - but though I've been inching toward it and was close to deciding, now one of my kids needs to move back home for a year or more, so I'm here for a bit longer. I guess once I know they're fully launched I'll eventually sell and pick some other place to go. I hope.

 

[Nick Obre]

I have a date tomorrow night. Lady seems great, we have lots in common, she's pretty, and sweet... but she also seems a little oversensitive sometimes. I put it to having had bad experiences, in turn causing trust issues; hopefully if things work out between us, we'll develop enough trust that these things won't be an issue anymore.
But if they remain an issue, well, let's see how far we can go, and use it as a learning experience.

Date went great. We went bar hopping (Sunday night here doesn't exactly offer a wide variety of options, so we'd have a beer in one, they'd tell us they're closing, and we'd walk around until we found another, then repeat), talked at length about our lives, experiences, aspirations, and what we want out of a relationship, and so on. It was great. We'll meet again tomorrow, since we both are kid free this week. Unlike the previous wöman, this one has a similar arrangement to mine about looking after kids (50/50 time with each parent), but it doesn't match perfectly, so if we want to be a thing for real, we'll have to make the most of the perfect match weeks, then find ways around it for the rest of the month. Not perfect, but better than "I can maybe steal a couple hours away from home once every 1.5 weeks".

About the trust issues, we talked about it. As expected, she had some bad experiences, making her a bit jumpy at what you could call "false positives". We agreed to trust each other (within reason), and move from there as we get to know each other more deeply.

I'm feeling good about this one, lads.
With the previous one, sparks were flying, but I never felt like I was standing on solid ground. With this one, I do.
Not looking to be foolish about it, but optimistic. 'Cos, if I can't let myself hope for something good, why even do this?

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

I am on the brink of finishing a major long-term commission and I'm very relieved, I've spent so long agonizing over it and thinking my art isn't good enough so now that its coming together I'm thinking, "Well shit, this actually kind of fucking slaps".
I told myself I'd take a week off from projects afterwards to recover from burnout and suddently I've got all the motivation in the world to tackle the little projects the built up, and I've already decided go turn an already large project into something comically larger. In a way though I think doing art for myself will be recovery in its own way.

I swear sometimes I need to be duct taped to the couch and told to Do Nothing so I don't any more insane.

I know that doesn't sound nice, but I am kinda jealous of you. I have one giant project in the works, couple of lesser ones and an ocean of other small stuff that I can't work on at the moment while the list keeps growing. I also have a job and home stuff and some lesser stuff like training from time to time, so not only I do not always have time I also don't have any energy left or plain on desire to work on them, I just want to rest or fuck around watching silly stuff on YouTube, playing games or reading this forum. All this realization weighs me down and I feel guilty for being unable to just get done with it all at once and be free. Sometimes I even wish I could quit. When I finished my previous grand project, I was burned out and only some time later started feeling somewhat proud about it.

And you're just killing it. I wish I could do that.