Mass Effect Andromeda: Shitstorm Edition - RIP Biowear

[Intelligent Calcium]

52:22
The krogan female is wearing fucking lipstick

Is that Salarian literally retarded?

And I like to think those long, awkward pauses before she answers are canonical. :autism:

 

[Keystone]

@Keystone pic is broken.

Yeah I dunno why that image keeps breaking. Fuck it, I put the link in.

Oh and another thing people are noticing about Andromeda is how it added fuck all for new or interesting species. It's pathetic considering how many ME2 added. ME2 added Vorcha, Yahg, Drell, and Collectors; and technically Batarians (if you didn't play the ME1 DLC).

And what did Andromeda add? Quinari (Anagram for Quarian; so creative Bioware!) and the main enemies - and that's it. No Volus, Hanar, Elcor, or Batarians. At least not in the base game.

Is that Salarian literally exceptional?

Probably. Everyone in the game looks and sounds like they have a touch of the Downs. Which is funny considering what tomorrow is

 

[Cacanus]

Taken from /v/, Bioware's forums are down because someone posted this:

 

[Ponderous Pillock]

Reading some of the dialogue I've got why this game fucked up so royally and is basically an utter insult to the Mass Effect Name.

There's no power fantasy.

All of the original trilogy of the ME games were pure power fantasy through and through, you could look good, your crew looked good, you were fighting a hideous enemy against the complete and utter odds and the art style also reflected this.

During ME1 you had yourself, a lone human, being pushed into the top flight of council politics on an awesome galactic stage. You were the lone underdog questioning things and challenging why things were the way they were. Throughout you collected a crew of rogues who came to reflect what you felt, but they were all distinct, all had their own unique traits and character notes that made them your crew.

ME2 again, you're now far on the other side of the coin, no longer answering the council and roaming a region of space more commonly known for piracy, ne'er do wells and slavers, a lone ship with a feeling of almost the Blues Brothers esque "mission from god" to convince everyone to come together to deal with a threat to human colonies.

ME3, finally you have to unite the galaxy to kick ass. Not peace and love, no. To beat the ever loving shit out of the big bad foe you've seen dancing in the shadows for 60+ hours, and 2 games, to see the races you've spent those games learning the names, culture of at their very worst, and their very best.

What do we get in Andromeda?

Well, we get a cookie cutter crew who're already offered to you so you don't have to wonder who's next in the roster. They become trading cards or simply palette swaps to take between fights. There's not the same sense of suspence and danger in which oh shit I could fuck this up like in all three previous instalments. They also spectacularly miss the point why a good chunk of gamers wound up beding Liara (again, Kirk-esque power fantasy to bed the sexy alien) and instead give us Shrek's aborted fetus as our 'sexy alien' option.

Oh and we get a partial reheat of a mechanic from the last game with the Andromeda Protheans Remnant, and the spastic looking Kett who look fucking suspiciously like the Collectors.

Oh and everyone's favourite fucking game mechanic.

Scanning planets.

Forever.

 

[Todesfurcht]

This is important, please hold this dear and close. Do not lose this.

Here's that YouTube link...

 

[alex_theman]

It's a thing I love about Zelda Games, every so often they just drive all before them. They did it in 98 with Ocarina of Time.

Are you sure? Half Life 1 came out in late 1998, and it provided some decent competition to OOT.

Taken from /v/, Bioware's forums are down because someone posted this:

Calling the Biowaste forums retards is an insult to mentally disabled people.

 

[Cacanus]

Calling the Biowaste forums exceptional individuals is an insult to mentally disabled people.

Yeah I know, the forum itself deserve a thread especially when you know that someone tried to find what quarian sweat taste like.

Spoiler: Pic sweat study

 

[Todesfurcht]

Never forget.
REMEMBER LESBIANS LOOK A CERTAIN WAY!!!

Spoiler

 

[Intelligent Calcium]

Taken from /v/, Bioware's forums are down because someone posted this:

DING DONG BANNU

 

[NQ 952]

Never forget.
REMEMBER LESBIANS LOOK A CERTAIN WAY!!!

Spoiler

only liberals could think that only a certain class of people can have certain haircuts. only liberals could mistake the USA for North Korea.

 

[GeorgeDaMoose]

Holy fucking shit some guy with an advance copy just livestreamed the ending and it literally ends with the message "congratulations you made it, continue the Andromeda initiative with DLC!"

And you defeat the final boss by

Spoiler

Hacking a terminal.

I can't even anymore you guys.

WHEW channeling some real ME3 vibes if this is true. Literally the same mistake they made with ME3's ending.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

by far the best and only tolerable part (albeit unintentionally) was the Kill me now line.
It's pretty much what any ME fan (that isn't an apologist) will think when playing this game. That is, if they even bother playing this trainwreck.

I have a soft spot for abject trainwrecks; and by all accounts the gameplay itself is fine . I'll probably have info by the end of the week on if it is as bad as people are saying.

Edit: Or.... Nier. Those reviews and that ending kinda made me reconsider. At least Nier will probably have interesting writing.

 

[OtterParty]

Is that Salarian literally exceptional?

And I like to think those long, awkward pauses before she answers are canonical. :autism:

What the hell is wrong with the Salarian voice actor's microphone? Those sibilants aren't supposed to whistle like that.

 

[Internet War Criminal]

Also, lesser known reviewer (but probably one of the best I've seen in a long, long time) ACG says this is a rent-only/ wait for deep sale game...

And you didn't quote why he said that?

"Rent only/wait for a deep sale game because at this point I don't feel comfortable telling anyone to buy it. True, there's 60 hours of gameplay, but I could also spend 60 hours swatting my nuts, and I don't want to do that'

Tbh this makes Andromeda look way more fun that it has a right to be

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

Taken from /v/, Bioware's forums are down because someone posted this:

Bioware's forums were shut down last year.

 

[alex_theman]

Bioware's forums were shut down last year.

And nothing of value was lost.

 

[Techpriest]

Never forget.
REMEMBER LESBIANS LOOK A CERTAIN WAY!!!

Spoiler

Cora's haircut reminds me more of the "I want to talk with your manager" moms than any lesbian I've ever met.

 

[Foltest]

I remember the aftermatch of ME3 ending. The forum was on fire!

 

[Keystone]

I remember the aftermatch of ME3 ending. The forum was on fire!

You n' me both. Those forum goers were not having any of that ending. That asshole who used to lock threads all the time was working serious overtime.

Also Peebee's romance scene is different than Dude Ryder's. I think. It doesn't matter though, it's still horrifying regardless of who she's humping.

Spoiler: What the fuck kind of lighting is this?

Spoiler: Rape face

Spoiler: WOT R U DOIN IN MAH SWAHMP?

 

[ICametoLurk]

Peebee romance scene has 582 dislikes compared to 622 likes.