DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Do Not Touch Me Pls]

He knows “hateful” content is the only thing that will bring people in now. Don’t get me wrong, phil is a hateful piece of shit; however, I think he knows now that negative shit brings in people to his stream which means more money. Ffs He lost his mind over a cookie to bring weens in. Can’t wait for his full hate saga when he screams the n word during his stream. Gonna be hard to “mr. Positive” after that

There is no way he can fake that to bring views. He must have had to done it unironically.

 

[Whaler]

Someone asked him about the Pete's Subs thing and he dismisses it by saying "It doesn't matter what the store says on the front. It had the Pete's Subs stuff still inside the store. My dad went there when it was Pete's Subs!" My guess is he thought it was called Pete's Subs when he was a kid because his dad still called it that, maybe. I love this doubling down on being some kind of sandwich chain OG.

The topper to that crash out was he called the guy an idiot and said that it doesn't "invalidate his opinion" on Subway. But the guy never claimed it did, he just called out Phil for saying it was still "Pete's Subs" when it actually wasn't.

We had another mini "Eat It!" rant, this time over someone asking him to stop calling viewers idiots

View attachment 7384742

He still can't figure out why his audience is shrinking and the money is going down with it. All he had to do was just say "When my dad took me there it still had the Pete's Sub logo on the store since it was the first one" and that would be it. Instead he double downs on the right to call the people he orders to give him money twice a day idiots, morons, mouth drooling retards, and various other nicknames.

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

Our true and honest gamer guy skipped pre-stream to dive straight into Doom today.

The result after not even one hour of (very shitty) gameplay:

View attachment 7384845

how do people put up with the endless stream of negativity and bitching coming from this faggots diseased gouty mouth for hours at a time?

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

how do people put up with the endless stream of negativity and bitching coming from this faggots diseased gouty mouth for hours at a time?

Roll it back:

 

[Fuckyoudad]

"You know because I have a fa-thur!" was a weird flex.

Yes schweinhund you do have an old man and he's completely washed his hands of you. The fabled Pete's Subs Polaroids from the fast food section of the Burnell family album will be inherited by your cousin.

Phil's Sandwich Shop never existed.

 

[Skippy Shortbottom]

Love how he seems to think that he's some badass outspoken rebel for saying Subway sucks when I'm pretty sure that's been the general consensus for probably a decade now. There's a reason why over the last few years they've had to completely revamp their menu and marketing and add gimmicks like meat slicers. I guess DSP is forever stuck in 2010 when everyone gave them a pass because you could get a big sandwich for $5

Just comes off as a tryhard to look cool to people. Like how he "felted" rich by saying his uh, mic sucked! Yeah!

 

[Shuma-Gorath]

View attachment 7383482
"This will go viral like my Homefront video even though I don't make negative content anymore."

I see people thinking this is Phil's attempt at going viral because he realized negativity brings in money and views, but I think there is a flaw with that logic. For one, it implies Phil has reached some level of self-awareness about himself and what he represents as a whole, so that immediately debunks that idea. Phil can see a carbon copy of himself and say he's a fucking idiot but he wouldn't have enough self-awareness to realize "hey wait, that guy is just like me!".

I think this is Phil's attempt at going viral because the Doom clip having everyone laughed at him is just eating him and was finally the final nail on the "everyone likes me now" coffin, which is why I also think he recently doubled down on the "King Snake" thing with Kino Casino since they are the ones who gaslighted (gaslit?) him into thinking that. The thing is that, as we know, Phil is quite literally incapable of taking even the slightest L. Seriously, when was the last time he said "I wanted to prove a point but turns out I was wrong and I have learned my lesson"? No seriously, when? Phil always says "I wanted to prove a point and I was right!" he's always right, on everything. There isn't a single instance of Phil being proven wrong beyond something trivial.

Now, this relates to this lame attempt at going viral because now Phil can make the usual double argument:
1. If the video is successful, then Phil gloats that he acted like a retard on purpose and that negativity sells, which somehow invalidates millions laughing at him for playing Doom like it's ARMA.
2. If the video isn't successful, then Phil gloats that no one wants honesty and they're all a bunch of shills, which kinda contradicts the idea that negativity and shitting on others sells, doesn't it?

Now, negativity does sell better, but that is irrelevant because it ignores the more obvious issue here: Phil is a dogshit content creator.
He called this latest DSP Tries It "hilarious", so in his mind, he made this amazing review that deserves more merit than ROTW (even though it's clear Phil ignores why ROTW/Reviewbrah is successful while he isn't since he is too stupid to realize that Reviewbrah has a charisma he doesn't on top of having a subtle humor that is too intelligent for Phil) but in reality, it's just dogshit because Phil doesn't have the charisma to rage and be funny.
Phil thinks that whenever he rages he's as funny as classic AVGN, but no, he just looks like a whiny fucking asshole you want to punch in the face (and once again, Phil is too stupid to understand why the AVGN raging was cathartic, since it was warranted or the Nerd usually gets punished for it - Phil rages because his input "dropped" and then bans everyone who laughs at him). He doesn't have good delivery, he doesn't have zingers or memorable one-liners since his repertoire begins and ends with poop, he's not intelligent nor remotely witty, eloquent or insightful, and he somehow found a way to gatekeep a fucking Subway sandwich by saying he was an OG customer (which now he revealed was stolen valor from his father, yes, Phil stole sandwich shop cred from Dave).

All this to say, Phil played this up to try and go viral, yes, but not because he realized people like to see him make a fool of himself, but because he truly thinks he's a world-class entertainer that the world hasn't discovered because of those pesky detractors and their thousand-hour out of context unedited propaganda that paints Phil as an asshole. This is Phil at the top of his game, this is his idea of being funny, this is him bringing the A game, and obviously it's fucking embarrassing because Phil is a clown who takes himself too seriously and doesn't get that people only find him entertaining for being a greedy, incompetent, entitled cunt.

 

[Elite Kipchak]

Roll it back:

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this needs to be pinned at the top of the thread or subforum already

 

[BibiLivesMatter]

We had another mini "Eat It!" rant, this time over someone asking him to stop calling viewers idiots

View attachment 7384742

Truly positive and meaningful content. DSP streams just give such positive energy content that even the best of cat videos can't do!

 

[Looney Troons]

It will never not be amusing to me that this absolute nigger thought that eating at Subway was going to be some life changing thing. “I haven’t eaten at Subway in 8 years!”…. And there was probably good reason for that. No one willingly eats at places like Subway. They do it out of necessity because it has consistently been one of the cheaper options for fast food.

I am pretty sure there’s a Jersey Mike’s in Renton, maybe a Firehouse Subs. In his infinite pig wisdom, he thought that dunking on Subway in a fit of anemic and impotent fake “rage”, something that quite literally everyone who has ever eaten there has done, was going to lead to some sort of viral success.

It just further shows how far removed he is from reality. Dude orders slop, has it doused in mayonnaise and oil, has it DoorDashed, and then complains how the sandwiches are soggy. Also, “Oh my Gawd… I got an item I didn’t even ask for! You can’t even order it online!”

https://newsroom.subway.com/2025-01-30-SUBWAY-R-TEAMS-UP-WITH-MILKS-FAVORITE-COOKIE-R-TO-DEBUT-AN-ALL-NEW-OREO-R-FOOTLONG-COOKIE

Dude ordered the cold cut trio and didn’t even know what he was getting. What an idiot.

 

[Mature Adult]

Watched him playing Doom today and oh my God. They give you a selection of guns that excel in different ways. For DSP it's as follows:

Lots of fodder enemies? Cycler
Long range enemies with projectiles? Cycler
Armored melee? Cycler
Boss/leader? Cycler

He didn't switch guns mid fight for almost the entire stream, just once for the rocket launcher when he got it. He decided it sucks and immediately went back to the cycler.

I understand if someone doesn't like doom eternals gameplay of switching guns every 2 seconds but brute forcing an entire chapter with 1 gun is ridiculous.

 

[GibMoneyPls]

All this to say, Phil played this up to try and go viral, yes, but not because he realized people like to see him make a fool of himself, but because he truly thinks he's a world-class entertainer that the world hasn't discovered because of those pesky detractors and their thousand-hour out of context unedited propaganda that paints Phil as an asshole. This is Phil at the top of his game, this is his idea of being funny, this is him bringing the A game, and obviously it's fucking embarrassing because Phil is a clown who takes himself too seriously and doesn't get that people only find him entertaining for being a greedy, incompetent, entitled cunt.

Your argument kind of connects to my opinion that Phil cannot understand abstract concepts. Sandwich shops are the only anaolgies Phil has ever understood. He just does not get the comedic value of people like ReviewBrah and AVGN. He thinks AVGN is only funny because he says "shit" and "dick". Their characters go right over Phil's head. He thinks PPP is only funny because he's loud and animated. Phil's fried brain doesn't understand the abstraction that most comedy and jokes rely on. Shit, dicks and stereotypes is all he has.

He has also said that it's not his job to entertain his fans. "People watch because they like me". He truly thinks people give him money and watch him because he's a likable, funny, charismatic person. He has none of those qualities.

 

[Nate Dingus]

"You know because I have a fa-thur!" was a weird flex.

Yes schweinhund you do have an old man and he's completely washed his hands of you. The fabled Pete's Subs Polaroids from the fast food section of the Burnell family album will be inherited by your cousin.

Phil's Sandwich Shop never existed.

I think he was going to launch into a rant about his haters being fatherless losers. But then he remembered that his audience are full of dents like PWR and Jayde that were raised by single mothers.

 

[millais]

Instead he double downs on the right to call the people he orders to give him money twice a day idiots, morons, mouth drooling retards, and various other nicknames.

He has really embraced the Hateful Slurs since his return to YT streaming.

 

[Iron Hamster]

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One of the gayest and most pathetic tweets in a while

I'm guessing gerbils are involved.

We need more of DSP calling out large companies for their shit quality. #IStandWithDSP.

He was used as an example of how to dumb down games for everyone, I want him being talked about in meetings about how they can cater their sandwiches to people like him. Their new products will be called the "Online Combo" and the "Unblockable Sub".

Let us not overlook the robust Egg Dropped Input Soup.

 

[Lord_Point]

Remember when his fat wife ran the curb and busted the tire a mastermind criminal stole a $40 tire leaving behind a $25 dollar jack.

Phil and his dad are so close when he texted his dad a panicked message the only response he got back was "Lol, here is fish pic"

 

[KanyeHH]

It's time to up your meds, bro.

Honestly, that guy sounds completely retarded.

 

[A Greyhound in a Coat]

I was minding my own business, browsing the Gothic 1 Remake page on Steam. I can't get away from this piggy!

 

[The GOUT-HATERS Handbook]

PRINTER BEG HYPE LET'S FUCKING GO

 

[PenskeMaterial]

Everything breaks in that house. Nothing is impervious to the pigroach's toxic aura.