Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Falcon Sebben]

PLEASE FORGIVE DIDNEY

View attachment 7403354

Like I'd trust Fatty's opinion on anything. Faggot is all about forgiveness when it suits him while shitting on anything he doesn't like.

Fatty likes Disney so Disney is good. End of story.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

I think that bagel video was the food equivalent to the Holocaust. Thousands of Jewish deli owners cried out in pain.

 

[The Feline Solution 2]

View attachment 7342702

Horrifying even by Jack's barely existing standards. How can you make food look this unappetizing?! Looks like heaven smells like freshly squirted-out diarrhea just going by this picture.

Most humble man on the Internet
View attachment 7358186

That fucking bitmoji is even more obnoxious than the one he usually uses.

 

[Pig Cups]

New food news except I don't know what it's about because the volume is so low. How can a former 'professional dj' and owner of a Tech Time channel with several microphone reviews be so ass at volume equalization?

I know he mentions the odd food recall when it happens, but his fixation on goyslop fast food in nearly all of these segments make him look even more like the utter bovine consoomer simpleton he is.

“Guiyz, McDonald’s is gonna be open later. Maybe they wanna make it a party spot? I dunno…”


>First, if you’re going for the educational, news reading format, do your research and get your goddamned facts in order. Hearing ‘maybe’ and ‘I dunno’ peppered throughout makes you and your video come off as beyond useless.
>I could still see someone using McDonald’s to hold a birthday party for their young child where a handful of the kid’s friends show up, but I think the glory days of that are over. The current dining concept is so cold and threadbare, and the retirement of the PlayPlaces makes it an even less appealing option.

A more interesting McDick’s story Jackoff could’ve brought up would’ve been that they’re retiring the five beverage-focused CosMc’s concept locations next month.

LAZY MAN'S HEALTHY BAGELS​

(05/23/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=gX0lSAaUivg

Spoiler: Local Archive:

View attachment 7400232

3:10 “Alright, guiyz. Time to be honest, ‘cuz I always am.”



Said without a hint of sarcasm.

 

[Marc]

I remember the promise of the Internet in the 1980s and 90's. Little did we know that Jack would insist it exists for him; and to allow him to sedentarily portray a fictionalized version of himself that is unfailingly honest and correct (as a consequence of that honesty), and can stand. The thread subheader may as well be "Delusional fat fuck who refuses to die, uses the Internet to try to fool people into believing he can walk or has non-composting value."

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Happy Memorial Day to my fellow Americans.

My grandfather served and he left us too soon; I never had the chance to meet him, but his memory is strong in my mom's heart.

Throwback to the time Jack's livestream honored "Memoria" Day (visible only in the thumbnail) and he started it by saying he doesn't understand the difference between it and Veterans Day.

 

[p1138]

A more interesting McDick’s story Jackoff could’ve brought up would’ve been that they’re retiring the five beverage-focused CosMc’s concept locations next month.

Do you think Fatty knows what the fuck CosMc even is? Also the playplaces are a giant liability since it isn't like anyone supervises them, cleans them, etc.

LAZY MAN'S HEALTHY BAGELS​

(05/23/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=gX0lSAaUivg

Spoiler: Local Archive:

View attachment 7400232

Can't believe I missed this shit. 4:47 for the video length, isn't actually doing anything for the first third of the video.

Retard admits they're cooling off, still can't just fucking wait and burns himself trying to take one out. Couldn't separate his pans, claims he's honest, covers the food with a fucking NEXT WEEK graphic at the bottom, talks with his mouth full(food damn near falls out), claims eggs and cheese and chicken blended(seems fucking vile), is like a "sous vide egg" and somehow he's nailed the flavor.

 

[Adamska]

is like a "sous vide egg" and somehow he's nailed the flavor.

The entire point of it was to somewhat mimic the effect of a bread tho.

Nice to see me calling it quiche alchemy bullshit again was spot on. Because that's just a sadder version of quiche or a hell omelet.

 

[Daddy Strokum]

Isn't a sous vide egg just an egg? How can his 'bagels' be compared to a plain egg? Am I missing something?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Isn't a sous vide egg just an egg? How can his 'bagels' be compared to a plain egg? Am I missing something?

Yeah. You're not a retard.

 

[a terminal posture]

Isn't a sous vide egg just an egg? How can his 'bagels' be compared to a plain egg? Am I missing something?

Whenever you have a breakfast buffet with scrambled eggs, the eggs were probably cooked from a big Sysco scrambled egg sous vide pack. Which is why they are usually terrible. No idea where Jack picked up this 'sous vide' nonsense, although his infamous Lazy Man's Omelets were technically cooked sous vide I don't think he even realizes it then or now.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Shot/Chaser

 

[Marc]

Yeah. You're not a retard.

Not to discredit anyone, but most any retard cooking on Youtube or TikTok grasps fundamentals or basic matters of cause-and-effect better than Jack does, if only because they're willing to learn from mistakes.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

Not to discredit anyone, but most any retard cooking on Youtube or TikTok grasps fundamentals or basic matters of cause-and-effect better than Jack does, if only because they're willing to learn from mistakes.

Good to know the bar of entry is "can you match wits with a toddler"?

 

[AnOminous]

Shot/Chaser

View attachment 7415105

Why does he insist on making this idiot soyface expression? He already looks enough like a fat baby with a beard and Down's without deliberately looking even more retarded.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

Why does he insist on making this idiot soyface expression? He already looks enough like a fat baby with a beard and Down's without deliberately looking even more retarded.

I can't figure out why anyone does that stupid face.

 

[Adamska]

Shot/Chaser

View attachment 7415105

Is he trying to get comped by looking retarded?

Because I never understood why this idiot thinks this looks zany or quirky. It just makes you look like you need to be in a home with a wrangler to help with life.

 

[Daddy Strokum]

Is he trying to get comped by looking retarded?

Because I never understood why this idiot thinks this looks zany or quirky. It just makes you look like you need to be in a home with a wrangler to help with life.

Soiface is indeed beloved by retarded manchildren for some reason. Jack has always given the impression that he's either a manchild himself or in perpetual denial of his age. Either way he dresses like a toddler and talks like a valley girl (e.g. "liderull," "really??") so soiface is just one more thing in his repertoire for larping as a youngster.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Whenever you have a breakfast buffet with scrambled eggs, the eggs were probably cooked from a big Sysco scrambled egg sous vide pack. Which is why they are usually terrible. No idea where Jack picked up this 'sous vide' nonsense, although his infamous Lazy Man's Omelets were technically cooked sous vide I don't think he even realizes it then or now.

I think it's more these things:

"Sous Vide Egg Bites" from Starbucks.

You could make things like this at home if you really wanted to but unless you're the type that likes to pre-make breakfast for the week or you're making a dozen of them because you have guests it's really not worth the 40 minutes it takes to make them plus the time to get the water heated up. And in the end... they're just as you say scrambled eggs or an omelette. But Fatty likes to pretend like he's some awesome chef so he's all about the fancy gadgets and he totally knows how to cook sous vide.

 

[p1138]

I think it's more these things:
View attachment 7415901

"Sous Vide Egg Bites" from Starbucks.

You could make things like this at home if you really wanted to but unless you're the type that likes to pre-make breakfast for the week or you're making a dozen of them because you have guests it's really not worth the 40 minutes it takes to make them plus the time to get the water heated up. And in the end... they're just as you say scrambled eggs or an omelette. But Fatty likes to pretend like he's some awesome chef so he's all about the fancy gadgets and he totally knows how to cook sous vide.

Do you think anyone would have imagined when Fatty did his lazy man omelet video about scrambled eggs boiled in a ziploc bag that just resulted in more work than making scrambled eggs with stuff mixed in or just making fucking omelets like any diner can quickly do, would eventually lead to Fatty blending chicken, cheese, and eggs into a paste using a fucking blender, putting it in a silicone mold, and pretending it might be a bagel?