Karl Jobst / karljobst / FAQ_GOD / simthreat / approachhernow.com - Albino autist, Spergy speed runner, Pickup predator and Bitch of Mitchell

[Wodanaz]

I don't think any of this is as certain as the fucking nerds make out it is.

nobody has ever presented recorded proof of a 5.51 time in dragster, but go off on shit you know nothing about

 

[Barry Williams]

Because the original programmer deboonked it with the original source code. Do you trust Activision executives? lol. He covers for Rogers because it would make him look bad if he was associated with a cheater, which would make him lose money. It's not some grand conspiracy, it's actually that simple.

Karl, however, has definitely tried to conspire on his discord against Billy

Rogers' most egregious thing was that some of his scores were demonstrably false because he would do things like claim he scored 999,990 points in a game that only increments the score in various powers or steps of 50, thus a score that ends with "90" is not mathematically possible. (The game would cap at 999,950 if it had a 6 digit counter that did not roll over as there's no logic to make the tens column show anything other than a 5 or 0.)

That kind of stuff is indefensible, and it makes his other claims suspect by proxy even if some of them are true.

 

[somevan712]

Good video from Billy. He kept it substantial yet concise, and explained everything well. I'm looking forward to part 2 and the hate mail video.

Karl only wishes he could match Billy's ability to convey his message. Karl's a retard thinking himself Socrates standing in the town square, professing his intellect to all. Billy's just a normal dude lmao.

 

[Ofcom Enforcer]

In the interview I am watching with Billy he says that Tod Rodgers did the supposedly impossible 5.51 score twice on dragster in front of independent wittnesses in rooms that he didn't set up the equipment, including in front of Activisions executives, with media there, on two different sets of equipment in two different venues.


what if the speedtroons are wrong? How many people just repeat that it is impossible because someone else has told them it is and has explained it to them in way that makes sense to him. What if that is incorrect? Why is the entire internet so certain that it didn't happen if there are many witness that saw it?

Fuck it, as far as I am concerned the 5.51 happened in dragster as well. I ain't taking these speedtrannies evidence anymore.

Holy shit this whole speech by Billy is based.

The concept of unknown unknowns is what makes me hesitate before saying someone is conclusively a cheater. When people say that certain loading screens are only possible in MAME and not original hardware, what they're really saying is they don't know of any way they could be possible on original hardware. I've never played Donkey Kong, never played MAME, and everybody LARPing as experts seem no better informed than I am.

In gaming, baseless accusations of cheating are standard when the accuser is ignorant of a strat. In 2006 the speedrun record for God of War was around 2 hours 15 minutes. A new user joined with a time of 1 hour 22 minutes. Before even seeing the guy's run, people said his time was impossible.



Turns out, the new user found a way to retain infinite lightning from the tutorial level by noclipping through a wall, trivialising combat in the rest of the game and saving heaps of time. There's a little documentary on it here.

In one of Karl's own videos he documented how the GoldenEye community was hostile to Rayan Isran and didn't believe him when he first joined, because Isran was just a kid at the time.



Isran would go on to become a significant figure in their community.

Karl even made a whole video about people who were falsely accused of cheating, yet in typical fashion, learned nothing from it. Humility is a quality he may be familiar with in the conceptual sense but not one he's ever had first hand knowledge of.

Although I'm sure plenty of fake scores were registered back in the day, drama YouTubers need to shut the fuck up with their witchhunting. Karl has been proved wrong on multiple occasions and is not remotely qualified to talk about ancient arcade hardware, American laws on Jirard's charitable donations, extreme probabilities concerning drop rates in Minecraft, or anything else. The smug tone and hubris in every video is misplaced, like the personification of the Dunning–Kruger effect, and it was wonderful karma seeing Billy slap him down.

Because the original programmer deboonked it with the original source code. Do you trust Activision executives? lol. He covers for Rogers because it would make him look bad if he was associated with a cheater, which would make him lose money. It's not some grand conspiracy, it's actually that simple.

Karl, however, has definitely tried to conspire on his discord against Billy

In the 1980s, Todd Rogers claimed he got 32.04 seconds on Barnstorming, a world record.

In 2017 our hero, the legendary schizo cheater hunter, ersatz_cats deboonked Todd and showed that time was "provably impossible".

In 2018, a new world record was set on Barnstorming, with a time of 29.97, faster than the "provably impossible" time set by Todd Rogers. The new world record holder? Ersatz_cats himself, of course. Not so impossible after all, was it?

 

[For Scorn and Three Birds]

The new world record holder? Ersatz_cats himself, of course. Not so impossible after all, was it?

It is almost like accusations of cheating is a good way to clear out rivals for your own times. Makes you think don't it?
This guy has spent the better part of 8 years or longer. Going after Billy. In a sperg crusade. He is crazed, too wrapped up in his own conspiracy's that Billy is evil and he is the shadow string pulling Batman to take him out.
I would bet it is not long before he is orbiting another Youtuber trying to convince them to take up the Billy Dragon slaying cause.
It is clear he wants to life ruination Billy.

 

[p1138]

"Karl, I'm 6'6. I don't need to do anything to look taller... meanwhile, you're 5'7. Cope harder."

Holy shit. Long live the fucking King.

Albino manlet becomes The Raped.

It's pretty funny Karl had the audacity to even claim that, considering there are full body pictures of Billy standing next to people and cabinets available online.

Sure maybe Billy is counting his hair as part of his height, but he's clearly still tall enough to not need to be standing on shit to look taller in photos. Even if he had lifts or heeled boots it isn't like he's got 6 inch heels on either. There's plenty more you can find on google just searching for Billy Mitchell Height", Karl is such a fucking loser he's got to lie about everything apparently.

 

[Jack Garland]

It's pretty funny Karl had the audacity to even claim that, considering there are full body pictures of Billy standing next to people and cabinets available online.
View attachment 7449599View attachment 7449606
Sure maybe Billy is counting his hair as part of his height, but he's clearly still tall enough to not need to be standing on shit to look taller in photos. Even if he had lifts or heeled boots it isn't like he's got 6 inch heels on either. There's plenty more you can find on google just searching for Billy Mitchell Height", Karl is such a fucking loser he's got to lie about everything apparently.

Even in King of Kong he looks fuck huge next to everyone else. He's a big guy.

 

[Beavis’ Moms Boyfriend#6]

Breaking news: Billy files a lawsuit against Karls remarks about his height. Wins again. Albino Austismo gets owned again. More at 11

 

[Zoot]

The concept of unknown unknowns is what makes me hesitate before saying someone is conclusively a cheater.

At the moment I'm willing to accept the time that Todd Rogers did live, twice, in front of many witnesses, in two different locations, with different sets of media, on different equipment, that he didn't set up over the ACKTUALLY of autistic nerds that can't admit that maybe they don't know it all.

Even if that is the developer. I've seen enough videos of gamers doing things that developers thought were impossible. I've watched the videos of the devs themselves saying it.

They don't know he cheated. They can't tell me how he did his live performances. And they don't have the certainty they think they do. And Karl and his gang of cheater hunters have been shown to be untrustworthy twats that ruin people's lives over video games.

That story of the Barnstorming is very illuminative. I bet you the same people here who are telling me it is impossible Todd Rodgers got his dragster time would have been saying the same thing about his Barnstorming record and would use it as evidence in this argument if it hadn't been disproved.

Todd Rogers you absolute legend and the KING of Dragster.

 

[Nameless One]

Look up developers reacting to speedruns. Halo CE has a lot of them being like "I didn't even know the game could be manipulated like this, whoopsie"

 

[yt Oliander]

Look up developers reacting to speedruns. Halo CE has a lot of them being like "I didn't even know the game could be manipulated like this, whoopsie"

I love those videos because developers always react with either horror or complete indifference.

"Wow yeah well we didnt put collision on the ceiling because we didnt expect anyone to vibrate between two objects for three minutes and then launch themselves 50,000 feet straight up"

 

[Harm]

The arcade ambience was fluttering with excitement as the pale, middle aged man dragged his dirty dress shoes across the stained technicolor carpeting. "Uhm, hi, sorry to bother you..." Karl Jobst cocks his feeble frame forward onto his tippy-toes, getting eye-to-shoulder height with the well-dressed man, "...but I ju-just wanted t-to say..." His voice begins trembling as he realizes Billy Mitchell, now calmly adjusting his signature American flag tie, was insistently staring off at nothing in particular, avoiding the interaction, "...uh, that, uh, well, I mean to say, I think your hair is very, v-ERY cute!" The enthusiastic compliment gave way to empty air between the two. Karl's eyes pleaded for any validation or contact with Billy's eyes, to no avail. The silence lasted a second at most, but the moment would be felt for hours. "S-sorry to bow- I mean, bother you..." He couldn't even finish his pathetic proposition as the Gamer of the Century had already began wandering away with his wife.

An Asian woman, who'd been there the whole time, stared at Karl as she began petting his head, seemingly unaware of what had just happened.

 

[Wodanaz]

Barnstorming

yeah we're talking about dragster bro

 

[Korpon]

He's a big guy.

4 U.

 

[VietMan]

ersatz_cats doesn't seem too thrilled about Billy's video.( X / A )

And how "a little gay anime porn here and there never killed anyone".
( X / A )

 

[HarmanSmith69]

ersatz_cats doesn't seem too thrilled about Billy's video.View attachment 7450346( X / A )

And how "a little gay anime porn here and there never killed anyone".
View attachment 7450345( X / A )

Autism_cats is a bigger lolcow than Karl. Actual BDS (Billy Derangement Syndrome)

 

[Lizard Pope]

He's a big guy.

For Joobst.

 

[KingofSomething]

Here is a clip from Augie's RFC Mania Day 4 where Tipster called in to talk about Billy Mitchell, Apollo Legend and Karl Jobst. A surprisingly decent take by Tipster and it seems like Mitchell wasn't cheater, more likely he wasn't aware at the time the machine he played on is not an original arcade, but one with an emulator:

Hanlon's razor is a bitch. It would be kinda funny if this whole thing started because Billy unknowingly played an emulated version and he was too Boomer to know the difference and too stubborn to take the L on that particular run because he thought he knew better. That or he got caught being sneaky and just refuses to admit it. Either way, this speedrunning jihad that's been going on for years is extremely autistic.

 

[clever handle]

Jesus, did Billy have a stroke or something? It looks like half of his face is perpetually stuck with a raised eyebrow and an eye stuck so open that you can see the white below the iris.

His lips on that side of his head are also a little lazier than on the opposite side, you can spot all sorts of little idiosyncrasies like that the more you look at him.

Very asymmetrical. Man's getting old, I guess.

 

[Barry Williams]

Jesus, did Billy have a stroke or something? It looks like half of his face is perpetually stuck with a raised eyebrow and an eye stuck so open that you can see the white below the iris.

His lips on that side of his head are also a little lazier than on the opposite side, you can spot all sorts of little idiosyncrasies like that the more you look at him.

Very asymmetrical. Man's getting old, I guess.

I thought the same thing as I watched the video, and then looked back at the Facebook page of a friend who'd met Billy at a convention about a decade prior and had posted a photo of them together. I think anyone would look better nearly 10 years prior, but it seems age is catching up to him a lot faster now. The man's at least 60 I think though, right? He's also reading off of a prompter or something that's sitting just camera right but considering he did the entire 20 minute video in a single take with no really noticeable mess ups he's at least still very lucid and coherent.