Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[PixarsTedKennedy]

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Cobes wishes he has that much hair on the top of his head. It is what it is tubes. No judgement off my shoes.

 

[Jimmy snipes]

I also believe he is, Oops guess not since he deletes his livestreams.
After saying his ssi was getting taken by Trump and bashing on couch sitters collecting ssi, he's been doing 8 hr lives. Maby clint told him if this is your "job" your gonna wanna clock 8 hrs a day

 

[Candover]

In a recent stream he says he doesnt need it and would rather keep the bill low, implying he has one

He said he has one

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Made a real quick edit. Couldn't find a higher quality poster or I'd make the text on the bottom say "Dethawing".

 

[anliteralidiot]

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better not invent fire BOY

 

['Ole Dente]

“4 strings are better than no strings i guess”
Surprised the boy knows what drop D tuning is, i thought he only used spooky tuning

Josh is so retarded that he tunes it into Drop D when he puts on new strings, then he bumps that shit into walls, moves with it in a soft shell case, gets drunk and accidentally turns keys and that's how you get Spooky Tuning. He just assumes once you tune the strings, it's tuned until you put on new strings.

One of cobra's biggest alogs - /u/epicdrinkcombo is posting about how cobra is going to be in "a lot of trouble soon." This fucking loser has contacted the IRS and law enforcement multiple times crying about whatever he thinks welfare abuse is and god knows what else. I genuinely hope this person gets cancer.

Never forget that it's faggots like this guy that are the reason why we just don't have good content anymore. They exist in the hundreds. They don't care that when you attack Josh like this, he becomes closed off and paranoid about sharing information and then we don't get to see new friends in his life or outside videos. The cow stops wanting to try at life because retards like this text him and tell him to kill himself non-stop. The cuck content and they don't care, they just want him to die. It's the weirdest and gayest thing.

Has a weird disdain and fear of going live, so doesn't do it regularly anymore

A-logs ruined that. Every time he'd fire up a stream, they'd send a ridiculous amount of dumb shit to his front door. Him and his dad tried to mitigate that with the P.O box which kinda worked until it kept getting full in like 3 days with a whole assortment of shit that rots and he'd never go to pick any of it up anyways. I suspect that it was conditional on moving into the trailer that in order to not encourage that behavior, the livestreams would have to end. Cobra being Cobra can't help doing things his own way though, so he still rarely does them and tells Clint "Doot I need money" as some justification.

These retards whine and complain about how boring Cobra is, not understanding that it's their behavior that is the direct cause for this.

 

[SeizureRobot5000]

Never forget that it's faggots like this guy that are the reason why we just don't have good content anymore. They exist in the hundreds.

What scares me is the idea that an entire generation of viewers has only understood "lolcows" as internet dunk tanks. Some contemptible thing gets propped up so people can insult it and pay money for a chance to get them riled up. I can't get into the majority of people being recommended to me because the whole premise is that they're vile and the internet needs to punish them.

 

[Candover]

What scares me is the idea that an entire generation of viewers has only understood "lolcows" as internet dunk tanks. Some contemptible thing gets propped up so people can insult it and pay money for a chance to get them riled up. I can't get into the majority of people being recommended to me because the whole premise is that they're vile and the internet needs to punish them.

The wrong way that an increasing amount of people think of Lolcows is that they're scapegoats for their own shortcomings. That's why A-Logging has existed for as long as Lolcows. A-Logs and their ilk show so much vitriol and raw hatred towards the Lolcows because they want to push aside their own failings and contemptible traits.

It's such a dangerous situation that I see happen more and more, especially with the WorldofTShirts and Daniel Larson communities. Hordes of angsty and mentally unstable Tiktok people that would happily assault or brutalize someone in public, because they heard on the internet they were a "bad person that needed to be punished".

After their Lolcow of choice disappears (Daniel Larson being imprisoned), they move on to another community like vultures and repeat the process.

 

[Epikusername4]

DEFCON 1 ALERT HE PUT ON A NEW SHIRT I REPEAT HE PUT ON A NEW SHIRT

 

[Star Spangled Bogger]

Never forget that it's faggots like this guy that are the reason why we just don't have good content anymore.

During one of his recent streams, someone in chat asked for Shon, and he obliged. It was off to a great start and then someone else wrote a comment saying 'we've seen this routine before'. Cobra read this and was immediately dejected and said 'well if you've seen it before I won't do it', and put Shon away.

The boy was on fire and all it took was one little comment to shut it down. Total Alog Death.

EDIT:

Spoiler: Autistic Best Case Scenario

> Cobra finally wins the lottery, somehow
> Purchases Frostys for a record cash price of $420.69M
> Renames it to Cobra’s Cantina
> Contractors get to work painting everything black and green
> A harem of hot, alive, consenting, cisgendered, nonrelated goth girls are hired to work the tables
> Only alcohol served are drink combos and Busch Peach Lite
> Grand opening day
> A black and green hearse pulls up out front
> Cobra emerges from the coffin
> Shon emerges from a smaller coffin
> Spitter spys escort him across the green carpet into the venue
> Cobra fans seated at tables waiting for the rockstar cowboy from hell to speak
> Cobra shuffles up onto the stage, a large empty cage to his right
> “You don’t have to buy a drink combo, but if you do it would be greatly appreciated”
> Performs a comedy routine with Shon (livestreamed to YouTube, of course)
> An Alog rushes the entrance mid-set, “WHy doNt yOU GeT a rEAl JoB yOU rEtard!”
> Spitter spys belt the Alog with their Cobra Clubs (black and green)
> Throw the Alog in the cage, its purpose revealed
> Hot goth waitresses emerge from the kitchen with a large trays of Mountain Dew Hard Boiled Eggs
> Hands out eggs to all the fans
> Alog pelted with eggs
> Cobra walks to mysterious Cobra Lever on opposite end of stage
> “THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR GOING AGAINST THE GRAIN!”
> Pulls lever
> Floor drops out of cage and new food hack announced: Deep Frted Alog.
> Clint bursts forth from behind the curtains and performs a traditional irish dance in full drag
> Cobra wins, troles lose

 

[Epikusername4]

The boy was on fire and all it took was one little comment to shut it down. Total Alog Death.

hope all the troles go to hell and cobes and ozzy get to "torture" them for eternity TWU

 

['Ole Dente]

What scares me is the idea that an entire generation of viewers has only understood "lolcows" as internet dunk tanks. Some contemptible thing gets propped up so people can insult it and pay money for a chance to get them riled up. I can't get into the majority of people being recommended to me because the whole premise is that they're vile and the internet needs to punish them.

Some cows justify their own punishment. Cyrax does. Josh doesn't, he's just a goofy fuck with a gay beard who does the best he can do every day.

 

[Slim Boglim]

What scares me is the idea that an entire generation of viewers has only understood "lolcows" as internet dunk tanks. Some contemptible thing gets propped up so people can insult it and pay money for a chance to get them riled up. I can't get into the majority of people being recommended to me because the whole premise is that they're vile and the internet needs to punish them.

The really disturbing thing is watching them invent things to justify “punishing” him for. It’s insane. People on fb group have resumed sending shit to his door, like posting ads on Craigslist that he’s giving away scrap metal and telling them to go to his trailer and knocking, door dashing stuff again. There was one incredibly sick fuck a while back that was going on subreddits where people meet up and fight and posing as cobra, posting his number and address and looking to send people to “meet up” and fight him. They genuinely want real world harm to come to him.

 

[titty nigga]

better not lose shon at sea and be unable to save him BOY

He'll come back when the tide goes out doodt he's just hibernating

 

[HiveDull]

-Snip-

The thumbnail makes it look like our boy has no teeth lmao

 

[Too Sneed to care]

OMFG

I haven't been on here in a while but I was the Kiwi that used to do dental work and gave my opinion on Cobes teeth months and months ago.

I'm honestly suprised how quickly his teeth have deteriorated.

Even if he wanted to, he cannot simply go to a dentist to get them pulled at this point. He is too far gone. He will have to be referred to an oral surgeon and have those nubs surgically removed after first givinf him a round of heavy duty antibiotics for about a week. No sane regular dentist would attempt extractions on him. The teeth will certainly splinter and crumble or worse yet take peices of jaw bone out along with the teeth

I just got done brushing my teeth for work later... I think I'm going to go brush them again now

I really don't know much about teeth and mouth infections other then what I've read on here. His health is obviously terrible, but he still seems to "function".

With the way things are going what would be the next steps in his health deteriorating? Is he at the point where he could simply go to sleep and not wake up? Would there be some sort of breaking point where he'd have to be hospitalized?

He's a full functioning alcoholic, that has the shakes if he doesn't have a certain amount of booze

He probably has unchecked diabetes from all the "food and drink hacks"

His teeth are so rotted and starting to mold, I guarantee you there's at least three bacterial strands in his jaw

His nicotine consumption ain't helping his health if anything it's probably helping with the sugarfoot and jaw issues

Da boi is totally cooked if he don't start changing some things up but even that might be too little too late at this point

 

[DennisReynolds]

Finally got around to watching Bitesized's recap of the deleted stream and did not expect some wholesome Cobra content. There's something so humanizing and endearing about his crying to me, I found his "the kids are more important than rock and roll maaaan" lines especially powerful. Although he's been barely human since birth, and only exacerbated the fact with his abuse of duster and alcohol, the boy is capable of some profound moments here and there. Maybe I'm retarded in my own right, but I could never actually cry or summon emotions like that for things that have fuck all to do with me and my loved ones, and I've been shithouse drunk plenty of times. I guess in the time of grift wars where virtue signaling is an art form and cash cow, it's refreshing to see a complete bogbrained retard show empathy in a way the richest most elite grifters are completely incapable of. Even if...no, especially if only because he's drunk.

 

[Merlin Manson]

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“I am man, hear me roar.

ARF ARF ARF”

 

[Bixby Snyder]

I feel his crying is the booze mixed with a bit of performance. I think Walt was nice to him but I think more or less, he was an excuse to perv on LN.

His nasty bottom beard lock is making it hard to watch. I dreaded when he cracked open the ranch because I knew that shit was going to get cakes in his beard.

I can only imagine what the other people in the therapy waiting room think seeing him there

 

[Umaibae]

What scares me is the idea that an entire generation of viewers has only understood "lolcows" as internet dunk tanks. Some contemptible thing gets propped up so people can insult it and pay money for a chance to get them riled up. I can't get into the majority of people being recommended to me because the whole premise is that they're vile and the internet needs to punish them.

The internet used to be fun

 

[Star Spangled Bogger]

Maybe I'm retarded in my own right, but I could never actually cry or summon emotions like that for things that have fuck all to do with me

Have you tried drinking half a handle of rotgut vodka after not leaving your trailer for months while live-streaming for 7 hours?

Men bottle shit up and with enough drink combos under the belt the right trigger can turn on the waterworks for even the most badass rockstar cowboys from hell.

But I don't think he's crying for Ozzys grandkids. It's something else. Something he's not saying out loud. Ozzys grandkids is a mask for some other kind of thing. He said I would never go there even if they were of age. I think he sobs for the unrequited love of Walt's progeny and he's been rejected by every girl he liked since the 4th grade.