Women are anonymously spilling tea about men in their cities on viral app - The surveillance state equivalent of the mean girls burn book

When Cid Walker opens the Tea app, she’s greeted by a barrage of posts about men and their apparent "red" and "green" "flags."

“He’s a cheater,” Walker said, reading some of the comments on one post out loud.

"What clubs does he go to?" another person asked on a different post. "He’s cute."

The app, which appears to have been advertising itself online since at least last fall, allows users to solicit feedback about specific men they’re dating.

Walker, 22, is among the 4 million users on the women-only safety app, which this week became the No. 1 free app in the Apple App Store.

It picked up viral traction in the last month after some people began talking about it online on Reddit and TikTok. The app gained more than 900,000 new signups in the last few days, Tea said on social media. Getting off the waitlist can now take days, an inconvenience many new users complained about in comments on the app's Instagram posts.

Upon opening Tea, users are presented with local men whose photos have been uploaded, along with their first names. For each of the men, other women on the app can report whether they deem him a “red flag” or a “green flag” and leave comments about him, such as those recounting negative date experiences or vouching for him as a friend.

“I’ve seen so many people I know on the app, it’s crazy,” said Walker, a Cleveland-area user who joined the app last week after having seen multiple viral posts about it. “Like, oh my God, I would never think all this stuff about them.”

App users can look up individual names in the search bar or create custom alerts for specific men. The app also offers functions that let users run background checks, search for criminal histories and reverse-search photos to check whether a man is catfishing by using someone else’s photos on his dating profile.

The woman-only app was created by a man, Sean Cook, who said on Tea’s website that he was inspired after he watched his mother’s “terrifying experience with online dating,” including being catfished and unknowingly dating men with criminal records.

Cook’s profile on LinkedIn lists him as the founder of Tea since 2022. The description under his role says, “Tea was self-funded by Sean.”

Cook did not respond to a request for comment. A representative for Tea said the app isn’t offering interviews at this time.

Tea’s mission mirrors similar efforts that have gained popularity in other online forums, such as “Are We Dating The Same Guy?,” a Facebook community with millions of members across the country in localized offshoots.

While the communities have stated that their mission is to keep women safe, they have also faced backlash from men online who say they fear being misrepresented or doxxed on the platforms.

The Facebook groups, which advertise themselves as spaces for women to warn other women about “liars, cheaters, abusers, or anyone who exhibits any type of toxic or dangerous behavior,” have for years been criticized online for devolving into places for gossip or for spreading possible misinformation about people. Last year, judges dismissed two defamation lawsuits filed in Illinois and California by men who were posted in the groups.

With Tea, some men have posted in forums asking for others to report the app in hope of getting it shut down, and others have expressed interest in a men-only equivalent on which they could discuss and mock women.

One app has already tried to offer that. The Teaborn app climbed to No. 3 in the free apps chart Wednesday before it disappeared from the App Store.

Shortly ahead of its removal, the app had rolled out an update with “enhanced content moderation and reporting tools” after its creator condemned users for allegedly sharing revenge porn on the platform.

Teaborn told NBC News in a social media statement: “Apple just removed us yesterday because Tea app doesn’t like competition, but we are working to go back with a new brand!”

Apple didn’t respond to a request for comment.

Despite finding apps like Tea entertaining, users like Walker have expressed discomfort with the idea of allowing so many people to anonymously speak negatively about others online.

Signing up for Tea requires users to take selfies, which the app says are deleted after review, to prove they are women. All users who get accepted are anonymous outside of the usernames they choose. Screenshots are also blocked.

On its website, Tea describes itself as “more than an app; it’s a sisterhood.” The app claims it donates 10% of its profits to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

A spokesperson for the hotline didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment Thursday.

“Together, we’re redefining modern dating,” the app says.

Walker said that she has noticed many users focus more on gossip than real safety concerns but that she believes some people have found Tea useful for exposing serious issues like abuse.

“I feel like if people were to use the app how it’s supposed to be used, this could actually save a lot of women from being hurt or harmed,” Walker said. “But at this point, I think it’s like a joke to everybody and just like cyberbullying.”



 
Fascinating plane, I've never seen an antenna array like that before, almost thought it was sprew lines from the model at first. I love the Japanese autism for historical recreation, it is a dedication I sometimes wished I had.
Ah yeah, the antenna array is a radar. Most German night fighters had them arranged like that because it was still early days for radars.

You had the radar operator sitting behind the pilot and guide him onto an intercept course. A big improvement over relying on ground crew to guide you over radio as in the beginning of the war.
Have you ever been to that military grave yard out west? Seeing specimens in real life is impressive even for a disinterested observer so it would be heaven for a fan.
Nope! But I have been to a lot of military eh… monuments in Eastern Europe.

Not quite a museum, but a few decades ago they installed a whole bunch of WW2 or post war tanks and planes up on the occasion of (for example) 10 year anniversary of winning the war, or to celebrate a particular battle.

It’s quite impressive to see them up close, and inspires respect in the men who fought and often died in them.
 
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Hot take from me, but I think that if you date the type of woman that would use an app like this, you already fucked up in the first place. The types using this app are going to be found in places at which you shouldn’t be looking for a wife.
But how could you know ahead of time? Most of the women Ive seen are completely average looking 4s to 6s. This post aged poorly based on that leaked gps map.
 
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Ah yeah, the antenna array is a radar. Most German night fighters had them arranged like that because it was still early days for radars.

You had the radar operator sitting behind the pilot and guide him onto an intercept course. A big improvement over relying on ground crew to guide you over radio as in the beginning of the war.

Nope! But I have been to a lot of military eh… monuments in Eastern Europe.

Not quite a museum, but a few decades ago they installed a whole bunch of WW2 or post war tanks and planes up on the occasion of (for example) 10 year anniversary of winning the war, or to celebrate a particular battle.

It’s quite impressive to see them up close, and inspires respect in the men who fought and often died in them.
Ah, that explains your plane reference pool. Since most of the planes I've seen were in the US, they were mostly Allied planes. I always liked the Zero when I was little because it was easy for me to indentify. I was very lucky and got to visit Normandy and I'll never forget those depressions made by the shelling. It's a sobering reminder. I actually can't bring myself to watch Saving Private Ryan because of the opening.
 

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just be honest, no matter what i said it wouldn't be the right answer for you e
Bu… What about our date to the National Air and Space museum?! U mad?
Alternatively you know, you could have been honest and said: “Guys doing dangerous stuff outdoors makes my stomach tingle”, instead of passing on bad, Reddit tier advice like “have hobbies”.

xcept maybe being a scout leader coz u didn't criticize that.
I mean, how could I have criticized something so wholesome? It’s be like shitting on a woman because she says she’s into baking.
Yes men with outdoorsy hobbies are better, indoor hobbies just scream fat.
So say that. And preferably without having any issues when the guy tells you he would expect you to stay fit and do the majority of the cooking and would ideally like you to be a stay at home mom later on.

Finding a partner should be about chemistry and putting in an effort, not a list of demands.
The issue isn't him going on days long trips, doing his hobby, it's not involving her, checking in, and just not being there when she needs him. You just can't prioritise yourself in a relationship.
You can’t be together 24-7. A good relationship sometimes involves being apart for day or two, without demands about coming along or your phone getting blown up.
 
The issue isn't him going on days long trips, doing his hobby, it's not involving her, checking in, and just not being there when she needs him. You just can't prioritise yourself in a relationship.
You have never been in a long term relationship if you see someone having some alone time and seeing it as bad thing. Nothing fucks up a relationship more than both sides clinging to each other too much.
 
I mean, if having a collection of things is more valuable than working on your home or on your kid's future, that's fine, but you have to specifically look for a partner that agrees with you on that. I doubt I'd find many men either that would agree that a shoe collection is more important than either one of those things, for example.
The thing you seem to forget here, is that most of value of said collection is likely because the guy autistically traded them and made all the right decisions though many years.

(Unless he routinely spends 1/5 of his paycheck on Pokemon/baseball cards, in which case… Run.)

“I want you to cash in the value of all of your dedication and work over the years, for something that benefits me too!” Is kind of a tall order.
 
Then of course there are women who are beautiful, kind, caring, and talented, because it's important to let the rest of know that we are not in fact good enough.
The valedictorian the year before me was a bombshell blonde, captain of the soccer team and an incredibly nice person. She has two kids and doesn't show it, been married to the same guy forever, is well-off (didn't grow up rich, either), looks better than most 40-year-olds as she pushes fifty. I'm not even a woman, and I think it's not fair.
 
Bu… What about our date to the National Air and Space museum?! U mad?
Alternatively you know, you could have been honest and said: “Guys doing dangerous stuff outdoors makes my stomach tingle”, instead of passing on bad, Reddit tier advice like “have hobbies”.
it just wouldn't work out between us </3 but we can still be friends!!
 
You can’t be together 24-7. A good relationship sometimes involves being apart for day or two, without demands about coming along or your phone getting blown up.
Yeah this should be obvious. It's something I've always disliked about the "you complete me" nonsense in romance films or whatever. Nobody should "complete" you. Ideally you are both competent, independent people with shared values and interests but also interests which are separate from one another. Marriage, ideally, should be made up of two complete people which makes something greater than themselves. It is unhealthy to spend every waking moment with your spouse.
 
Tangent 1: the woman that used this app are the same types to complain to HR about perceived slights or because their advances got rejected.

Tangent 2: I find it odd how a lot of women will ignore a guy until he’s dating someone else. It’s a really fucking retarded strategy because if they do find someone this way, it’s someone that is willing to cheat on them too. I get the sense that the women using this app were that way when they’re younger and then *surprise pikachu face* he left her for someone more youthful.
 
Ah, that explains your plane reference pool. Since most of the planes I've seen were in the US, they were mostly Allied planes. I always liked the Zero when I was little because it was easy for me to indentify.
The Zero is/was absolutely gorgeous. A great plane that punched above its weight despite being relatively lightly armed and armored.
I was very lucky and got to visit Normandy and I'll never forget those depressions made by the shelling. It's a sobering reminder. I actually can't bring myself to watch Saving Private Ryan because of the opening.
Fun fact: One of the machine gunners at D Day who likely killed hundreds and didn’t stop firing until the afternoon was a 21 year old kid from a reserve division. Guess you never know who will end up doing extraordinary things when their fate intersects with history.


Saw him meet American veterans many years later as an old man. Wholesome.

When you go to Eastern Europe there’s tons of places like that because of how brutal the war was there. Like the fortress in Bretsk were the Soviet soldiers held out for over a month after the invasion, and scribbled their names and last greetings to loved one in the walls.

There’s still plenty of places there where you can go out with a metal detector and find something without looking too long, because so much blood was shed there. Kinda like the civil war battlefields in the US I guess.
 
Im a bit confuse about the nature. Are you saying there is an app where a group of people go and go through the things the person of interest have done then end up shit talking most of them? As if they were lowcows?

Like i dont get the rage behind this.

Just dont use tinder.
You're comparing a crappy wooden shed with nails all over the floor to a mansion with 16 bedrooms and saying they're the same because they have walls and a roof.

It's pretty obvious what the differences are:

1: Lolcows are (usually) terminally online personalities or public crashouts. Tea's victims aren't

2: Lolcows can access websites like KWF, 4chan, or X; Lolcows can even engage with us. the victims of Tea libel can't which means they have no way to confirm what's being said - which means...

3: Slander and libel go unchecked for months completely ruining a person's reputation with no means of them fighting back.

4: It inhibits reputation-saving legal action
I'll put it to you like this, If the people on KWF, or twitter said "CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER RAPED AN 8 YEAR OLD CONFIRMED" Chris-Chan can lawyer up and go after the individual or the website to petition to have the libel removed.

5: We are communities - not echo chambers. Know the difference. Anybody can come here and be a part of the community assuming they're willing to abide by the culture - same with any site that requires a login. Men cannot join Tea which means men have no way to see if some salty BPD bitch decided to destroy their reputation on a whim.

It's cute you think you can avoid this shit by staying off tinder. Tea was huge. These are women at your local church, grocery store, bar, workplace, any place a man may chose to socialize at. All a woman need do is look up the insane ravings of his BPD ex girlfriend and ghost the guy and there's nothing he can do to defend himself.

While it is true that a woman who would avoid you over Tea is like dodging a buckshot shell in the long run, it's not cool to lock down unsuspecting people's lives like that. The average guy isn't some retarded online crashout like a lolcow is.
 
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