DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

Is DSP taking Ozempic/GLP-1 to lose weight?

  • Yes

    Votes: 183 82.4%
  • No

    Votes: 39 17.6%

  • Total voters
    222
  • Poll closed .
Using Jasper to shield what a twat he is is crazy. Phail refused a trip to Hogan's bar, not because of the cat or perceived threat of anal rape: he doesn't want to be inconvenienced in any way. Packing a bag would be too much work. Driving to the airport would be out of the question. Unless it's something he wants, it's stupid or too expensive.
I traveled by plane and went to two large cities recently in the course of the 6-day trip. In addition to the flights, involved a rental car/fair amount of driving, staying at two friends’ places, some public transportation.

It was my first trip in a couple of years and it was ridiculously expensive at all points (I can’t imagine how anyone pays for hotels these days) and a logistical pain in the ass. I enjoyed seeing friends and don’t regret the trip at all, but I was reminded forcibly why I am not a frequent traveler.

All that said, Phil should just be honest (lol, I know, what am I even saying?) and admit he’s too cheap, too antisocial, and doesn’t give enough of a shit about Khet to get off his ass and take a honeymoon. Jasper has nothing to do with anything. By the end of that truly upsetting rant, I was convinced he doesn’t even like jasper.
 
I wonder if Phil regrets saying "It doesn't matter if it's honest, it's still an answer". That quote's a perfect demonstration of the kind of person he is, and the fact that he still occasionally tries to justify it all this time later suggests that he's particularly tilted about how people reacted to it.
This is poison for any real interview. From now on he'll only get Steve Cambian/Sir Gold-style interviews where the goal is to milk the cow and dunk on you for fun and internet points. He has irreparably destroyed any possibility of anyone interviewing him fairly for truth because he didn't just go on an interview and lie (as well as accidentally admit to a bunch of other things) he doubled down on lying, which shows he thinks it's justifiable for some mentally retarded reason that no one who is sane can understand.
Since his audience (unironic dsp fans) are a just a bundle of rerards then he’s best off at getting more games like Pokémon. But of course, he will just play the next new game and then bitch about it and the lolcow DSP cycle continues. Very susseful.
Seriously, the only legit audience he's managed to cultivate was teenagers very early on who have very little shitbag-o-meter, then trolls, and finally his modern nontent era where everything is guides and still awful gameplay to avoid TIHYDP, he can only lure in the actual dents, god save them. He streams predictably and they're slow paced with lots of looping. It was like it was designed specifically for the mentally handicapped.
The guy who calls people idiots 100 times a day from inside his "office" but turtled up when he did get publicly confronted talking about facing off with people in real life
Not just in his office, but when detractors spooked him a little, he moved across the country and into a private gated neighborhood and bragged no one knew where he lived (until he promptly phonebooked himself).
You’d think Phil would get tired of publicly fumbling interview attempts.
1000 monkey podcasters with 1000 monkey microphones will eventually yield a positive interview that saves the business. Problem is, monkeys are slightly smarter than dents and tend to sniff test him out relatively easily.
Hateful slurs is still a stupid reason for any punishment
It wasn't hateful slurs, I hate that his lie took so well. He read the email and even read that it wasn't from their terms of service team who handles community code of conduct stuff, but from the "Content Licensing Department" and many detractors back then talked about from time to time that he was turning off the stream and immediately uploading his garbage to Youtube. This breaks the Twitch Partnership Program Content Licensing Agreement. User @Nigel of Ukip is a retarded ween alog who is part of the battling with @Null history (encouraging and whipping people up for mild alogging in the thread like retards), said multiple times he was cooking something up and talking to Twitch legal team about it, exchanging emails and evidence. It's very likely they got his bullshit to the right hands, and they used his licensing agreement to break with him. DSP put the hateful slurs bullshit in there to specifically have something he felt he could disprove easily. DSP broke regular TOS multiple times a month and was never banned with hundreds of reddit tards filing reports everytime. He was on some list just like on YT to filter out most of that. But Nigel likely looked up someone on Linkedin from the legal department, and got into their ear. That or he just hated DSP so much he sucked enough dicks to make magic happen.
To be fair, Phil has been consistent (probably maintained lies) with this. He made a big deal about someone checking in on Jasper Kitty daily during the wedding, and he's still annoyingly not spilled the beans on that week off yet.
He did hint at someone nearby doing it, and said "family" once. The safest bet is that his gay aunt, who previously lived in Seattle, she was previously married to a man. That man would be DSP's uncle whom he's mentioned having a relationship with as a kiddo. I believe that DSP fucking hates his Dad, hates how much his Mom rules his life, and moved out to Seattle, the land of milk and honey (and gated old folks condos) to be closer to the one family member he still liked because of nostalgia. He wanted to hide where he was, he wanted to get away from parents, and he wanted to save on taxes. Despite other places that Leanna provably researched and showed him would be better for these spoken reasons, he picked his place.
I can't imagine Khet loving that cat
Khet hates Jasper. Everytime she was on stream with him, she didn't want to touch him much and wanted him off her when he tried. It's clear he's perfectly comfortable with her and she just doesn't like him. DSP even lifted Jasper off of Khet's lap. Truth is, Leanna moved out, immediately moved in with a male (likely gay) roommate and got a cat. Posted it on Insta. DSP, ever the pocket watching jealous narc, ran out to get a cat himself. Leanna had begged for a cat for years. Leanna came by to pick up more stuff over the next 6 months and I think he legit thought he still had a chance. He still let her use his car AND paid her cell bill. I also think at some point she made it clear that it wasn't going to happen, and that's why he had the incel retard tier rant about how they were done and that meant she couldn't keep coming and getting their stuff, ya get it? "Since we broke up all your things in my house are mine now go away you dumb bitch." Then he grew attached to the cat. I also think the reason why sometimes the door is closed and Jasper isn't allowed in, and sometimes it's open and Jasper nearly always swings by for a second is because she fucking hates the cat, and she hates hearing him yap even more. So when he's streaming the damned door needs to be closed and Jasper has to go away (to her old room or the master bedroom). This explains why he's always so insistent on knowing when she got home. It also makes his "I carry Jasper up the stairs in a cardboard box to be in my bedroom with me overnight every night" make a little more sense, as we suspected for years she slept in a different room. I would also wager that Khet the Whale now owns the lower floor to some degree, because she struggles to get up the stairs and the rare occasion she does she needs the base camp ottoman at the top as a resting spot.
doesn’t give enough of a shit about Khet to get off his ass
No, it was always just her monkeybranching to what is effectively a passport bro marriage of convenience hobosexual situation. Neither one of them cares that much for each other, they're barely friends even. She does NOT want him touching her on stream. If my spouse gave me that look I'd think I had the plague or something. She is literally tired out by his yapping.
 
@poems_past shared this on X/Twitter and fuck me, there will never be a picture of Phil where he doesn't look like a fucking child molester.

Sometimes looks are everything, and this look says he can't wait to beat off to underage girls.

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Fuck Asmongold, just let DSP fade into obscurity and financial ruin. How many times does DSP's character need to be exposed before retard "dentractors" realise he's NEVER going to get a grand comeuppance due to somebody interacting with him? Just watch the fucking money he gets each stream go down. He's 100% going to get "troll" donations by sad cunts who want to "shit" on him, if this stream happens.
How else is Asmongold going to pay for his Tier 3 Pokiemane sub?
 
Some interesting take aways from tonight's leaf stream :

- Phil doesn't know what the free throw line is in basketball. Would not shut up about how much easier shooting a basket ball in real life is.

-Told a story about how his parents made him keep his toys in his room or the attic. They bought him a He-Man Eternia set and had to keep it in the attic due to its size. He also mentioned he only played with it a few times before he got bored of it.

- Doesn't know how to do yard work or basic cleaning tasks (despite claiming he raked leaves and shoveled snow as a kid).

- Is more than willing to halt gameplay at the request of one person offering money for a challenge.
 
Is more than willing to halt gameplay at the request of one person offering money for a challenge.
So little note about this. This was started because he found a basketball in the garage. He took it to the hoop and immediately hucked it over the fence. He then proceeded to complain that when you shoot the ball (in which he aimed his cursor as directly at the hoop as he could manage) it wouldn't arc. Of course it won't do an arc, you're not telling it where you want the ball to go (like an instruction), you're telling it where you want to throw the ball. Therefore, if you want an arc you need to throw the ball up for it to fall into place. He would repeat this line and complaint many times. This is kind of revealing about him in games, when he aims vaguely at a guy it means he wants that guy dead, and how come he shot first but the other guy killed him first, etc etc. Anyway. ICS offered him 25 subs if he sunk 3 free throws one after another with no misses. DSP took a few random shots, until he sunk one, then he screwed up. Eventually he sunk two in a row and flubbed the last. ICS (as 220 in kick chat) said "Thanks for playing the game" as in "well you took your shots and then some and failed to deliver so I won that wager, you lost." DSP, being well...DSP, ignored this and just kept going. Disregarding the entire limit on failed attempts, truly from the beginning it seems. When the little manbaby got it he gloated and became nervous until 220 paid out (absolute cuck lol, no one forget this, DSP could NOT live up to the challenge and it was evident, but 220 paid out anyway to PREVENT a crashout and ban). He then complimented 220 for uh checks notes the act of paying him. From this point onward, if DSP found a ball of any kind, he visibly perked up and wondered if there was something he could do with it, the dopamine of another 125 dollar or more bounty on the line.
 
he only played with it a few times before he got bored of it.
Do we have lore about how Phil actually "played" with toys as a kid? We know the wolverine doll, and we know during the Re-ACK streams he was a spoiled brat who basically had every shiny new toy advertised on TV, but every toy lore he would mention only go so far as "I had that" or "the other kids were jealous that I had this".

I'm sure if you poll anyone here about their favorite toy growing up they'd have some story about dunking it in water, launching it from a window, making it fight other toys etc. but it sounds like even as a child Phil's only pleasure comes from consumerism and having something for the sake of having it. Such a weird alien freak.
 
Do we have lore about how Phil actually "played" with toys as a kid? We know the wolverine doll, and we know during the Re-ACK streams he was a spoiled brat who basically had every shiny new toy advertised on TV, but every toy lore he would mention only go so far as "I had that" or "the other kids were jealous that I had this".

I'm sure if you poll anyone here about their favorite toy growing up they'd have some story about dunking it in water, launching it from a window, making it fight other toys etc. but it sounds like even as a child Phil's only pleasure comes from consumerism and having something for the sake of having it. Such a weird alien freak.
The only thing I can think of during the Ree-ACK stream was when he mentioned about the Ghostbusters firehouse and ECTO-1 and what they did, how they felt like, etc...and, he had the entire He-Man playset, including the Castle of GraySkull. I remember that because my brother wanted it and he loved He-Man. In the 80's, it ran for $25. Adjusted for inflation, that would be $84 today just for the Castle of GraySkull set.

Phil did mention how kids from the neighborhood would want to play with his toys and Phil would get upset that they would not "put them back" in the tox-boy when they were done. Phil claimed he was adamant his parents told him that all of his toys had to go back in the box when he was done playing with them.

As far as taking a few actions figures to the playground, dunking He-Man in a puddle of mud, or bringing them with him into the bathtub to play...no, Phil never mentioned that. Again, dude is a freaking alien.
 
Gamer face after getting your dopamine receptors fried from playing video games as a job for 8 hours a day and then when you're "offline" playing a highly addictive candy crush clone.

I still maintain Phil needs to take a month actually "offline" and to reasses his shit. He's stuck in the zone of addiction and he can't ever change his life unless he disconnects or actually hits rock bottom.

Instead he'll spend his wedding night arguing with equally gay "detractors" on Twitter and not even realize how bad that is from a pure optics perspective.

Edit: this really is the perfect picture of the absolute modern dystopian nightmare this man has been trapped in for decades. His existence really is a page out of some science fiction novel where he's some eccentric side character that sits in his little goon cave and does several your long prestream therapy rants while he gets sent a few dollars be equally bizarre people from miles away.

Once he gets his magic cyber credits from being a literal camwhore he spends them all on an equally dystopic gambling game where he can't even win.

The story of DSP really is amazing if you consider the actual vantage point of technology and addiction and magic internet money and early YouTube "pioneers" like Phil.

This thread is something like page 17,264 of equally weird people on the internet discussing Phil's little dystopic bubble - but for Phil this is just another Tuesday. He has no contact with humans. He just logs on and mainlines internet bullshit into his brain every day and doesn't have the smallest amount of resistance to ignoring the people that gather purely to troll or annoy him. It works every time because, again, this is just another Tuesday for Phil.
 
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Do we have lore about how Phil actually "played" with toys as a kid? We know the wolverine doll, and we know during the Re-ACK streams he was a spoiled brat who basically had every shiny new toy advertised on TV, but every toy lore he would mention only go so far as "I had that" or "the other kids were jealous that I had this".

I'm sure if you poll anyone here about their favorite toy growing up they'd have some story about dunking it in water, launching it from a window, making it fight other toys etc. but it sounds like even as a child Phil's only pleasure comes from consumerism and having something for the sake of having it. Such a weird alien freak.
I have a hard time imagining Phil actually playing with his toys. It would either be him standing over them while swaying, t posing, and goat laughing or him talking to he-man like he does during a prestream about what he did at school and ate for lunch.
I also wonder if Phil's parents didn't allow toys out of his room to be strict or knowing he'd lose them or other kids would kick his ass and steal them.
 
I have a hard time imagining Phil actually playing with his toys. It would either be him standing over them while swaying, t posing, and goat laughing or him talking to he-man like he does during a prestream about what he did at school and ate for lunch.
I also wonder if Phil's parents didn't allow toys out of his room to be strict or knowing he'd lose them or other kids would kick his ass and steal them.
Phil has no real sense of himself or self respect for himself. He only recently started experimenting with nicer shirts but everything he has ever done is to seek the approval or attention of other people.

He doesn't listen to music or have literally any hobbies. He just has hardcore anxiety or whatever and drowns himself in Total Wine and gacha. He used to make pasta and his wife used to cook and he'd show it off on Instagram and he stopped because people made fun of him. He used to show off the stupid dumbass movies he would watch and take a fucking picture of his TV to show it off. He used to publicly show off his shitty WWE mobile game that came before WWE Champions. He got a wife to show off how cool and adult he is.

All the toys and shit he's ever spoken about have some sort of monetary value like they're in a spreadsheet to him about how cool and important he is to someone else. The same with his shitty Toyota Camry, or the BWM, or the capture card, or the TV, or the game controller - it all costs a lot and it is better than yours. The only reason he stopped showing his house or mentioning the price of things is because he got given so much shit (righly so) about the dumb shit he spends money on while being permanently "broke"

I really wish we could see Phil totally outside of his comfort zone - take him out of the house, sell all his possessions and put him in a cabin with food, running water, a hot shower and some beautiful nature outside for a few weeks. What would that Phil even talk about?

For anyone who is somehow jealous of Phil or the fact he gets so much money basically erroneously: he's a man with a lot of stuff who at the end of the day literally has nothing - a house littered with plastic junk with no value, no hobbies, no interests besides having a little spreadsheet in his head that lists out his mature adult factors.
 
Some interesting take aways from tonight's leaf stream :

- Phil doesn't know what the free throw line is in basketball. Would not shut up about how much easier shooting a basket ball in real life is.

-Told a story about how his parents made him keep his toys in his room or the attic. They bought him a He-Man Eternia set and had to keep it in the attic due to its size. He also mentioned he only played with it a few times before he got bored of it.

- Doesn't know how to do yard work or basic cleaning tasks (despite claiming he raked leaves and shoveled snow as a kid).

- Is more than willing to halt gameplay at the request of one person offering money for a challenge.
He can't ride a bike or swim but he's a basketball pro. Why don't I believe him.
 
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