Dude I've said this before, maybe just a few pages ago, but women are much less psychologically different to men than you think*. No they're not exactly the same, but the fact that you don't know basic things about your partner after 5 years suggests that this is very much a you problem. How have you not noticed what jewellery she tends to wear after all this time? It doesn't require some deep insight into the female mind, it requires basic observation using your eyes. I don't know about you, but I like to, you know, look at my partners, often in great detail and for extended periods of time. I think that's fairly normal. We all choose partners we like the look of after all. Yet you seem to somehow be looking right through her.
I think this entire conversation is revealing that you seem to exist in your own little bubble and show remarkably little basic curiosity about her. Frankly I don't get what she sees in you if you're that inattentive, maybe you're hung like a donkey or something. That you would rather come to the New Zealand fruit farming forum to ask questions like this than simply using your own experiences suggests that you maybe need to think about the way you relate to the world in general, because something's not right there.
*I think the reason autistic men think that women are another species is that they are trying to talk to neurotypical women. Most of their male friends will be similarly autistic, but autistic women are just as prone to being shut-in as men and don't share the same interests by and large, so most male autists grow up alongside autist men and neurotypical women, which make them think that women's minds are unknowable. Women and men are socialised differently, so if you grow up around men (as a lot of autists tend to) you'll just about understand talking to neurotypical men after a while, but the social rules women tend to run under are different, so they seem alien and confusing once you reach the age that you actually want to talk to them.
