Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Plus isn't most of their tech just reverse-engineered from crashed alien ships?

(The movie is likely going to brush both of these points off)

Even better. It’s from strip mining a giant Alien corpse.

Quick slightly OT primer on how it all interconnects. In the MCU there is or was a race of giant “space gods” called Celestials. We saw the severed head of one as Knowhere in Guardians of the Galaxy 1, plus a flashback to one. Starlords Father was revealed to be an immature one in Guardians 2. In Guardians 1 we see that the severed head is a mining colony run by the Collector. What they are mining for is Vibranium. The rarest and most sought after material in the Universe. Found in the bone and brain material of Celestials. Vibranium is the magic metal that powers much of the Super Powered MCU. Howard Stark got his hands on some and it led to his Arc Reactors and Repulsors. Plus Cap’s Shield. Wakanda is built on the burial mound of acdead Celestial, Which they have been strip mining for future tech. So yeah the great Wakanda Afrofuture involves grave robbing in the MCU... Black Panthers armor is imbued with Vibranium. If you look carefully you can also notice how Gamora’s facial markings resemble Black Panthers suit. Thanos implanted her with Vibranium.

This involves some subtle connections throughout the movies, so Bob would never notice.
 
If Bob were a superhero, I'd picture him as acting something like Cartman as "The Coon", only instead of destroying synagogues, WholeFoods markets, and killing Justin Bieber, he'd instead be destroying churches, farmer's markets, and country music concerts.
Coon/Bob: I'm making the world a better place/Superior Future!
Mysterion/Kiwi Farms:For You! You're making the world a better place/Superior Future for You!
Coon/Bob:...Right. That's what Superheroes do.

^My God it's uncanny how perfectly it fits.
 
Didn't he put the live-action GitS movie on the anticipation list whenever it came out?
Nope. Not even on his least anticipated list.
Coon/Bob: I'm making the world a better place/Superior Future!
Mysterion/Kiwi Farms:For You! You're making the world a better place/Superior Future for You!
Coon/Bob:...Right. That's what Superheroes do.

^My God it's uncanny how perfectly it fits.
Point this out to him and wait for the saltstorm.
 
Even better. It’s from strip mining a giant Alien corpse.

Quick slightly OT primer on how it all interconnects. In the MCU there is or was a race of giant “space gods” called Celestials. We saw the severed head of one as Knowhere in Guardians of the Galaxy 1, plus a flashback to one. Starlords Father was revealed to be an immature one in Guardians 2. In Guardians 1 we see that the severed head is a mining colony run by the Collector. What they are mining for is Vibranium. The rarest and most sought after material in the Universe. Found in the bone and brain material of Celestials. Vibranium is the magic metal that powers much of the Super Powered MCU. Howard Stark got his hands on some and it led to his Arc Reactors and Repulsors. Plus Cap’s Shield. Wakanda is built on the burial mound of acdead Celestial, Which they have been strip mining for future tech. So yeah the great Wakanda Afrofuture involves grave robbing in the MCU... Black Panthers armor is imbued with Vibranium. If you look carefully you can also notice how Gamora’s facial markings resemble Black Panthers suit. Thanos implanted her with Vibranium.

This involves some subtle connections throughout the movies, so Bob would never notice.
The Celestials connect many thing in the comics too. They were the product of a lonely god who was later backstabbed by them and the entire multiverse is essentially a science experiment with the goal of creating life that ascends to their level. Why else would you have infinite variations of similar themes all in their own neat boxes? That's also why you see so many aliens with a similar design to humans and why it's possible to get superpowers on Earth-616. They're all genetically tampered with to be that way.

All Marvel media connects to this narrative even if the direct influence of the Celestials might differ. Trying to see what factors are needed for ants to become gods. The MCU in particular seems to be based around tech. Yeah, that even includes the universe for the Hostess ads, I won't try to understand their logic.
 
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That's our Blob!

This is a little :late:, but I have been thinking about that panel were Bob kept insisting that DC keeps rebooting its continuity. Is it me or is Bob unable to distinguish a reboot from a retcon? It's standard procedure within the industry and Mahval is just as guilty as DC for doing it, more egregiously so in recent years to make the Marvel Universe resemble the MCU with the introduction of Nick Fury Jr. and Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch no longer being Magneto's children. (Kind of makes me wonder if Marvel will backtrack on the latter.)

They have before, they will again. I think this is... the third time? They've changed who the Maximoff kids are actually the progeny of.

Because live-action anime adaptations are well known for being high quality.
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At least DBE is enjoyable as a stupid martial arts adventure film. Alita just looks creepy at this point.

The Celestials connect many thing in the comics too. They were the product of a lonely god who was later backstabbed by them and the entire multiverse is essentially a science experiment with the goal of creating life that ascends to their level. Why else would you have infinite variations of similar themes all in their own neat boxes? That's also why you see so many aliens with a similar design to humans and why it's possible to get superpowers on Earth-616. They're all genetically tampered with to be that way.

All Marvel media connects to this narrative even if the direct influence of the Celestials might differ. Trying to see what factors are needed for ants to become gods. The MCU in particular seems to be based around tech. Yeah, that even includes the universe for the Hostess ads, I won't try to understand their logic.

In an infinite multiverse, some experiments are going to be more insane than others.


In re: Bob seeing every Marvel movie about getting over entitlement, god fucking damn is that reductivist thinking. He's mistaken a genre convention (Heroes selfless, villains selfish) for a unifying thematic statement, and even then he chooses some of the shittiest examples he can think of to try and back it up.
For someone who called himself the overthinker, he sure sucks at the actual thinking.
 
Bob also did not include the new Tomb Raider movie. I guess that is because Lara Croft was not created by Nintendo.

If you ask him, he'd probably say Lara Croft is a bad, misogynistic design placing too high an emphasis on the chest polgyon count and not the brain polygon count. But I imagine the Angelina Jolie movie just holds too special a place in his spank bank.
 
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You reminded me of these posts.
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Moviebob-approved:
GotG Vol. 2: One nomination
The Post: Two nominations

Not Moviebob-approved:
Blade Runner 2049: Five nominations
Darkest Hour: Six nominations
Three Billboards: Six nominations
Dunkirk: Eight nominations

:story: Nice going, Blobstradamus.
Bob's gonna be salty as fuck on Oscar night. Also you forgot to mention Logan getting a Best Adapted Screenplay nom and Wonder Woman getting nothing.
 
In re: Bob seeing every Marvel movie about getting over entitlement, god fucking damn is that reductivist thinking. He's mistaken a genre convention (Heroes selfless, villains selfish) for a unifying thematic statement, and even then he chooses some of the shittiest examples he can think of to try and back it up.

What I find hypocritical about Bob prattling on about entitlement is that own politics and worldview are completely informed by it. He believes that he is entitled to the "superior future" he dreams about and the untermensch of Middle America are effectively getting in the way by not bowing to his whims.

It little wonder why he supported Hillary Clinton, who similarly thought she was entitled to be the President of the United States.
 
What I find hypocritical about Bob prattling on about entitlement is that own politics and worldview are completely informed by it. He believes that he is entitled to the "superior future" he dreams about and the untermensch of Middle America are effectively getting in the way by not bowing to his whims.

It little wonder why he supported Hillary Clinton, who similarly thought she was entitled to be the President of the United States.
I imagine it's not a leap in logic to assume that he only posted that as a "take that!" to gamergate alt-right nazis or whatever. The fact he uses the word "zeitgeist" implies that because Bob's perception of current events is strong women/"PoC" defeating the Inferior bigoted fanboys.
 
Bob's gonna be salty as fuck on Oscar night. Also you forgot to mention Logan getting a Best Adapted Screenplay nom and Wonder Woman getting nothing.
How much do you want to bet Bob would’ve seethed with fury at the sight of the black corn farmer and his family refusing to submit to the soda company next door who wanted to buy out their land? Would he think Wolverine was a white savior sticking up for them or say something that borders on calling the black farmer an Uncle Tom? Would Wolverine be an oppressor for sticking up for “Obsolete Americans”?
 
If you ask him, he'd probably say Lara Croft is a bad, misogynistic design placing too high an emphasis on the chest polgyon count and not the brain polygon count. But I imagine the Angelina Jolie movie just holds too special a place in his spank bank.

But Alicia Vikander is far more bangable even compared to Angelina in her prime.
 
But when I ogle women...
badlooksly-jpg.363165
To be fair to Bob, that was cringe worthy.

1st of all, Bob doesn't understand movies, he projects his own ideas on them and contorts the movies' themes to fit his inner narrative.

2nd, I think I know why Bob hates Homecoming now, note how Keaton's Vulture is:
  • Blue-Collar type of guy.
  • Moderate-to-conservative values.
  • Hard-working small businessman.
  • Screwed by the system (In this case, S.H.I.E.L.D.).
  • Not a POC.
  • Has an actual family and obligations.
Does that profile sound familiar?
 
To be fair to Bob, that was cringe worthy.


1st of all, Bob doesn't understand movies, he projects his own ideas on them and contorts the movies' themes to fit his inner narrative.

2nd, I think I know why Bob hates Homecoming now, note how Keaton's Vulture is:
  • Blue-Collar type of guy.
  • Moderate-to-conservative values.
  • Hard-working small businessman.
  • Screwed by the system (In this case, S.H.I.E.L.D.).
  • Not a POC.
  • Has an actual family and obligations.
Does that profile sound familiar?
Everyone in the midwest.
 
How much do you want to bet Bob would’ve seethed with fury at the sight of the black corn farmer and his family refusing to submit to the soda company next door who wanted to buy out their land? Would he think Wolverine was a white savior sticking up for them or say something that borders on calling the black farmer an Uncle Tom? Would Wolverine be an oppressor for sticking up for “Obsolete Americans”?
Come to think of it, Logan was taking swipes at his Superior Future (i.e., highly mechanized, corporatized, and completely at odds with the needs of everyday people), so maybe that's the real reason his praise felt so begrudging.
 
Come to think of it, Logan was taking swipes at his Superior Future (i.e., highly mechanized, corporatized, and completely at odds with the needs of everyday people), so maybe that's the real reason his praise felt so begrudging.
I'm serious when I ask this but is Bob the only person out of the 7.6 billion currently alive that loves the idea of a single corporation owning the planet? Exclude anyone who is a high level employee of a mega-corp or people paid by them. It's a central thing in every other dystopian story not centered around Earth becoming a wasteland.
 
I'm serious when I ask this but is Bob the only person out of the 7.6 billion currently alive that loves the idea of a single corporation owning the planet? Exclude anyone who is a high level employee of a mega-corp or people paid by them. It's a central thing in every other dystopian story not centered around Earth becoming a wasteland.

Bob literally has the mentality of practically every movie villain.
 
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