Lolcow fried_kooch / KingCasio / King of Kek - aka Deagle Nation Declassified: Venom Jace Awakens or How Deagle Nation Discombobulated

ULTIMATEPRIMETIME said:
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Damn me to hell for this, but why he was using Coco Bandicoot as an avatar?
 
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unclestryker said:
Everything about this is screams try hard
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I'm glad that this was the conclusion you came to about a guy that recorded himself drinking a bottle of ranch sauce thinking it'd help his kidney stones
 
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WELCOME BACK to another exciting episode of your favorite anime; Slaton Brother. I'm pleased to announce that since I posted this thread yesterday, some people have come forward on Discord and told me some of their stories about kooch so I compiled some of it into a quick bonus part and saved the rest for a later date. Enjoy the extra content today!

Bonus Part 0 (pre-sequel): The Skype Groups and the Jan Autism Fight​
You’ll notice throughout these content updates that Kooch has a tendency to parasitically attach himself to people he considers a creative asset. He’ll assert himself at the “producer” position and oversee his creatives while taking credit for putting it all together. Kooch’s skill in management does not line up with is perceived skill and, like a vocal cord parasite, frequently consumes the life of any group he attains a leadership position in, sucking them dry with his eccentricity and killing them in the process. WizDumGun is the best example of this, but he’ll parade his work in D2 (More on this later) and his newer art collective as well.

In the summer of 2016, Jan Rankowski started posting videos again. It didn’t garner much positive feedback because of its lack of direction. To remedy this, he gathered a small group of writers to help with video production. This served a dual purpose to also alleviate the burden of producing content from Jan while he was recovering from severe brain damage. He considered Kooch to be the most promising content creator of the bunch.

I’ve heard from my interviewees that Kooch was in contact with Jan on Skype as early as July of 2016. I’m not in the old WDG Skype groups anymore, but July 2016 was allegedly a period where Kooch convinced Jan to essentially start a slapfight with Null to help alienate the Kiwifarms fanbase, who were considered a huge nuisance at the time. People were stalking Jan’s family, harassing DN actors in real life and pestering them to the point where they quit, among other things. Kooch used this as leverage to tap into Jan’s lust for revenge, blaming it all on Kiwifarms. In his badly brain-damaged state, Jan agreed to Kooch’s coercion and proceeded to post incoherent wwe wrestling videos aimed at Null with SlamJam/Linkin Park remixes as the music.

Jan started going on a retarded larp crusade against KF’s management, which was quickly squashed and went nowhere. It served its purpose; to alienate anyone involved, but was seriously out of character for Jan, as he was previously considered to be a mostly reserved and calculating person, and stated that he didn't want drama at the time. After Jan left to focus on his real life, Kooch was left without a proxy. He would instead re-attempt the conflict under the King of Kek moniker, expecting no one to know who he was.

After Jan’s barely coherent attacks on Null, things began to unravel almost immediately. The fighting even provoked Rob to leave WizDumGun entirely, stating that he “wanted nothing to do with [Kooch’s] army of spergs”. Over the course of the next year, Kooch had attained full control of the remnants of both Deagle Nation and WizDumGun, “running it into the ground” in his own words and losing half the channels’ subscribers in the process.


Heinrich Himmler said:
Damn me to hell for this, but why he was using Coco Bandicoot as an avatar?
Click to expand...
Let's find out... In PART II

PART II: Doomspeak Dieschau (or d2 for short) and King of Kek Season 2
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After The Call ends, Jan breaks the silence between himself and the WizDumGun Discord to tell everyone that if they’re going to make their own 100% original content, on their own youtube channel, then they should just change their name to an original moniker instead of just using his. Everyone involved with the WDG2 bullshit was kicked out of the original WDG discord and left to discover themselves. Kooch creates a new group under the name "Doomspeak Dieschau, or “D2” for short. It's fucked german that'd supposed to mean "Doomspeak, the show". The purpose of the group was to be sort of an art collective that collaborated heavily to create youtube content. We would make one video collab and a number of independent videos until we decided to create a video game that killed the flow, among other things, leading to a total halt to any passable content outside of independent uploads.

Probably the defining moment of D2 was when Kooch tried to get his Internet art commune to draw furry porn for him to jerk off to, then tried to play it off as a joke. A common theme with kooch is that his style of humor is often so deeply submerged in irony and is so obnoxiously alienating that any attempt at humor is overshadowed by how much of an unfunny weirdo his behavior makes him look. He’s at just as much of a loss as if the content of his “joke” was unironic, which makes it moot whether or not he’s actually serious about any of it. Coco Smut Day is a perfect example of such an anti-joke.

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In early July of 2017, Kooch tries to get everyone involved in this event where everyone draws porn of a character from the Crash Bandicoot games. No one cares, and two of Kooch’s christian friends leave out of disgust. This worries Kooch, provoking him to backpedal on his “joke” and begs his christian friends to come back into the D2 Discord. He reveals that Coco Smut Day was actually an elaborate ruse to advertise Season 2 of his King of Kek character, because that worked out last time.

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​
And so begins the second shot at King of Kek, who is now a devout follower of esoteric kekism. This new iteration has its own Youtube account and advertises on 8chan instead of trying to attract the Kiwi Farms and Deagle Nation fanbase. Only two videos are produced, neither of them involve coco. There was also a discord which died in like 2 or 3 days since everyone knew the character was fake from the first time, but RPed with him for a little while anyway.

https://archive.fo/SDrrV
https://archive.fo/K0Zk2


​
Eventually, our collective autism reaches a second critical mass. D2 as a collective invented an entire subculture worth of memes and vocabulary which were completely foreign and alien to anyone not in-the-know. On top of this, enthusiasm for collaborative projects, or any video production at all, came to a grinding halt. Kooch’s enlarged heart is stricken with sadness and frustration over the outcome of the group. It wasn’t at all what he dreamed it would be, and so decided to re-invent it, but not before Kooch spends a few hours sobbing while writing a passive-aggressive send-off monologue that reads suspiciously like a suicide note.

I have personally thrown away so much for d2; getting a girlfriend, losing the weight, going full-time at my job… you get the point. I have probably spent at least 1000 man hours in the last six months for d2, and that’s because I loved it. I loved d2 more than anything else in my life besides God and my family - my real one. I told my entirely correct comedy hero that he was a fucking asshole and that I would, no, d2 would prove him wrong. But here we are. We’ve had a lot of good times, a lot of bad times. I know Tufano says I had the best intentions and that there’s nothing I could have done, and I see where he’s coming from but I still made more mistakes than I would liked. But at the same time, if your kid was meant to grow up to be a good person, they would have if you really tried to instill that in them. That’s how I see d2: as my kid. I saw it’s birth, I saw it’s childhood, I saw it’s puberty. I saw it turn into this monstrosity that totally defied everything I tried to do for it, and it hurts deeply; I cried today, I am crying right now, and I will probably weep for the rest of the day. It’s going to take everything I have in me to pull the plug tonight unless someone has a solution that will fix all of this, but I doubt any of us heathens have the clout with God to ask for a miracle happen here. It’s so bittersweet. d2’s failure is my failure, as far as I’m concerned, even if this was the way it was inevitably going to happen. I opened my chest in hopes of sacrificing my heart for my child, my son, but instead he didn’t even take it and I got an infection. I don’t know what else to do. This whole thing makes me more miserable than I could even know; I haven’t felt this fucked up since my Grandfather died. I want to address everyone I can think of who would even read this letter. To Dan, I want to say that I still want to live with you. You and I are kindred spirits, and you are one of the only people I know who I would consider a true peer. You have inspired me so much, and I wish one day I could be as cool as you are, even if you are a bit awkward. To Casey, I want to say thank you as well. You have put so much time into d2 even with shit like college and it means the world to me. You are a very smart and collected person and I really wish you’ll figure out who was driving that car that one night in oblivion. You are one of the most analytical people I know and I envy that every time I talk to you. To Nick, I want to say that you are indeed one of the brightest people I know, but your propensity for losing the long term makes me mad to no end. Please stop doing drugs. You’re burning years off of your life doing retarded things because of really fucking stupid reasons and it makes me mad because you KNOW better. I should have said all of this before this point, but fuck if I’m good about saying things at the right time; point is, you should stop. Nick Durst, for the sake of everyone involved please stop. I know you live in a lawless hellhole full of liberal idiots who are always down to party but please make sure you never lose the plot. I don’t know, you’re more on the ball than I am so maybe you can handle it. I still want to write shit with you, because we’ve got similar humor. Oh well, it is what it is. Stay golden arm, horseman. To Tufano, I could write about how much you mean to me for hours. It makes me upset that you go through so much shit but the good book says that God doesn’t do it for fun, as I’m sure you know. Wish I could say what His reason is, but he’s very smart. I want to help you make anything you ever wish to make. You are my hero, Kevin. I wish I could be that strong. To Gabe, I wish to say this: You are truly a savant. You are a talented editor and creator, and your ideas are very good, but if you’re never going to ever compromise with the people who can help you at all to the point of being an eternal shut-in you’ll be lucky if you’ll ever have anyone who love you, Gabe. Don’t sacrifice your humanity for your artistry. You’re still a man, and even though humans are disgusting entities, don’t ever go without love. We need that. We all do. Also, stop being so ignorant. There’s nothing wrong with being steadfast but there’s everything wrong with being blind to other viewpoints because you view the people speaking them as lesser. You have said some truly uncool shit, and some truly cool shit. You’re going to be a better artist than I ever will be. To both Austins: we should have never bullied you like we did. You didn’t deserve that. It was a dumb thing to do and I personally hate the fact that I encouraged it in any capacity. And especially to you, 2dolla. I view you like a brother, and the shit I have said to you is inexcusable. I wish you can truly forgive me. To Vince, I just want to say I view you similarly. You have the capability to be the greatest artist out of all of us, but you have to discover it for yourself. Fuck us, don’t listen to us. Follow your heart, because if one day you were meant to be an artist, we wouldn’t have pointed you there, you would and probably will get there on your own with help from the people you love - and there are people out there that will reciprocate your love for them, Vince. I wish I could have been nicer to you, because you’re a lot like Tufano. You deserve some good company, and everyday I wish I could have given it to you two. To Jojo, or whatever your actual name is: I’m sure you saw this coming already. Please send me bail money when I go to jail for public indecency. To Gohlper, or whatever the name God gave you is, I shouldn’t have brought you into d2. I think we both know that d2 isn’t a very Christian organization and I don’t know what to say. I do want to say that you’re a good friend and our conversations on the gospel really reignited my moral center. You’re a good God-fearing man, and one day in the distant future I’d love to bring my wife to meet your family in Newfoundland. To Jan, if somehow if you’re reading this letter, I want to say that you’re right: you always were, and I was too stupid and blinded to see that. To the fans: thank you. Thank you so much, it means so much to me that even a small amount of people would actively watch our content. You are all fantastic. And if I didn’t mention you in this long wall of bittersweet rambling, I want to say this: I love you all. All of the legwork you did to even reach this point is fantastic. You are all my greatest friends, I only wish that I had known any of you in real life. Please, just if you ever get a chance like d2 again, don’t make any of the mistakes I, or some of us, have made. Thanks for all of the memories, and the laughs.


Yours truly,

fried_kooch

Founder of d2
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And so ends the D2 saga... Or does it? Tune in tomorrow to find out whether or not Kooch is literally living in the movie Groundhog Day.

NEXT TIME ON SLATON BROTHER:
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Note that he didn't link that. He posted that from his hard drive.
 
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ULTIMATEPRIMETIME said:
View attachment 364367
WELCOME BACK to another exciting episode of your favorite anime; Slaton Brother. I'm pleased to announce that since I posted this thread yesterday, some people have come forward on Discord and told me some of their stories about kooch so I compiled some of it into a quick bonus part and saved the rest for a later date. Enjoy the extra content today!

Bonus Part 0 (pre-sequel): The Skype Groups and the Jan Autism Fight​
You’ll notice throughout these content updates that Kooch has a tendency to parasitically attach himself to people he considers a creative asset. He’ll assert himself at the “producer” position and oversee his creatives while taking credit for putting it all together. Kooch’s skill in management does not line up with is perceived skill and, like a vocal cord parasite, frequently consumes the life of any group he attains a leadership position in, sucking them dry with his eccentricity and killing them in the process. WizDumGun is the best example of this, but he’ll parade his work in D2 (More on this later) and his newer art collective as well.

In the summer of 2016, Jan Rankowski started posting videos again. It didn’t garner much positive feedback because of its lack of direction. To remedy this, he gathered a small group of writers to help with video production. This served a dual purpose to also alleviate the burden of producing content from Jan while he was recovering from severe brain damage. He considered Kooch to be the most promising content creator of the bunch.

I’ve heard from my interviewees that Kooch was in contact with Jan on Skype as early as July of 2016. I’m not in the old WDG Skype groups anymore, but July 2016 was allegedly a period where Kooch convinced Jan to essentially start a slapfight with Null to help alienate the Kiwifarms fanbase, who were considered a huge nuisance at the time. People were stalking Jan’s family, harassing DN actors in real life and pestering them to the point where they quit, among other things. Kooch used this as leverage to tap into Jan’s lust for revenge, blaming it all on Kiwifarms. In his badly brain-damaged state, Jan agreed to Kooch’s coercion and proceeded to post incoherent wwe wrestling videos aimed at Null with SlamJam/Linkin Park remixes as the music.

Jan started going on a exceptional larp crusade against KF’s management, which was quickly squashed and went nowhere. It served its purpose; to alienate anyone involved, but was seriously out of character for Jan, as he was previously considered to be a mostly reserved and calculating person, and stated that he didn't want drama at the time. After Jan left to focus on his real life, Kooch was left without a proxy. He would instead re-attempt the conflict under the King of Kek moniker, expecting no one to know who he was.

After Jan’s barely coherent attacks on Null, things began to unravel almost immediately. The fighting even provoked Rob to leave WizDumGun entirely, stating that he “wanted nothing to do with [Kooch’s] army of spergs”. Over the course of the next year, Kooch had attained full control of the remnants of both Deagle Nation and WizDumGun, “running it into the ground” in his own words and losing half the channels’ subscribers in the process.



Let's find out... In PART II

PART II: Doomspeak Dieschau (or d2 for short) and King of Kek Season 2
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After The Call ends, Jan breaks the silence between himself and the WizDumGun Discord to tell everyone that if they’re going to make their own 100% original content, on their own youtube channel, then they should just change their name to an original moniker instead of just using his. Everyone involved with the WDG2 bullshit was kicked out of the original WDG discord and left to discover themselves. Kooch creates a new group under the name “D2”. We would make one video collab and a number of independent videos until we decided to create a video game that killed the flow, among other things, leading to a total halt to any passable content outside of independent uploads.

Probably the defining moment of D2 was when Kooch tried to get his Internet art commune to draw furry porn for him to jerk off to, then tried to play it off as a joke. A common theme with kooch is that his style of humor is often so deeply submerged in irony and is so obnoxiously alienating that any attempt at humor is overshadowed by how much of an unfunny weirdo his behavior makes him look. He’s at just as much of a loss as if the content of his “joke” was unironic, which makes it moot whether or not he’s actually serious about any of it. Coco Smut Day is a perfect example of such an anti-joke.

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In early July of 2017, Kooch tries to get everyone involved in this event where everyone draws porn of a character from the Crash Bandicoot games. No one cares, and two of Kooch’s christian friends leave out of disgust. This worries Kooch, provoking him to backpedal on his “joke” and begs his christian friends to come back into the D2 Discord. He reveals that Coco Smut Day was actually an elaborate ruse to advertise Season 2 of his King of Kek character, because that worked out last time.

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​
And so begins the second shot at King of Kek, who is now a devout follower of esoteric kekism. This new iteration has its own Youtube account and advertises on 8chan instead of trying to attract the Kiwi Farms and Deagle Nation fanbase. Only two videos are produced, neither of them involve coco. There was also a discord which died in like 2 or 3 days since everyone knew the character was fake from the first time, but RPed with him for a little while anyway.

https://archive.fo/SDrrV
https://archive.fo/K0Zk2


​
Eventually, our collective autism reaches a second critical mass. D2 as a collective invented an entire subculture worth of memes and vocabulary which were completely foreign and alien to anyone not in-the-know. On top of this, enthusiasm for collaborative projects, or any video production at all, came to a grinding halt. Kooch’s enlarged heart is stricken with sadness and frustration over the outcome of the group. It wasn’t at all what he dreamed it would be, and so decided to re-invent it, but not before Kooch spends a few hours sobbing while writing a passive-aggressive send-off monologue that reads suspiciously like a suicide note.


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And so ends the D2 saga... Or does it? Tune in tomorrow to find out whether or not Kooch is literally living in the movie Groundhog Day.

NEXT TIME ON SLATON BROTHER:
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If this is all true and you still talk to Jan (or if he's reading this) I'd just like to offer to bury the hatchet over the beef we had
. I wanted to help him with his comedic endeavors but he screeched at me for being a foreign operative trying to con him out of money because I wanted to help him make t-shirts and it looks like the Paul Harvey version of the story is this idiot got into Jan's ear and was feeding him bullshit. I felt bad about how things ended up between us because I was a huge fan of the true and honest deagle nation (shit look at my avatar, I picked it before this thread was made) and Jan's only real fault was the people he chose to associate with
 
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ULTIMATEPRIMETIME said:
I have personally thrown away so much for d2; moving to Wichita to record my breakout album, getting a girlfriend, losing the weight, going full-time at my job… you get the point. I have probably spent at least 1000 man hours in the last six months for d2, and that’s because I loved it. I loved d2 more than anything else in my life besides God and my family - my real one. I told my entirely correct comedy hero that he was a fucking asshole and that I would, no, d2 would prove him wrong. But here we are. We’ve had a lot of good times, a lot of bad times. I know Tufano says I had the best intentions and that there’s nothing I could have done, and I see where he’s coming from but I still made more mistakes than I would liked. But at the same time, if your kid was meant to grow up to be a good person, they would have if you really tried to instill that in them. That’s how I see d2: as my kid. I saw it’s birth, I saw it’s childhood, I saw it’s puberty. I saw it turn into this monstrosity that totally defied everything I tried to do for it, and it hurts deeply; I cried today, I am crying right now, and I will probably weep for the rest of the day. It’s going to take everything I have in me to pull the plug tonight unless someone has a solution that will fix all of this, but I doubt any of us heathens have the clout with God to ask for a miracle happen here. It’s so bittersweet. d2’s failure is my failure, as far as I’m concerned, even if this was the way it was inevitably going to happen. I opened my chest in hopes of sacrificing my heart for my child, my son, but instead he didn’t even take it and I got an infection. I don’t know what else to do. This whole thing makes me more miserable than I could even know; I haven’t felt this fucked up since my Grandfather died. I want to address everyone I can think of who would even read this letter. To Dan, I want to say that I still want to live with you. You and I are kindred spirits, and you are one of the only people I know who I would consider a true peer. You have inspired me so much, and I wish one day I could be as cool as you are, even if you are a bit awkward. To Casey, I want to say thank you as well. You have put so much time into d2 even with shit like college and it means the world to me. You are a very smart and collected person and I really wish you’ll figure out who was driving that car that one night in oblivion. You are one of the most analytical people I know and I envy that every time I talk to you. To Nick, I want to say that you are indeed one of the brightest people I know, but your propensity for losing the long term makes me mad to no end. Please stop doing drugs. You’re burning years off of your life doing exceptional things because of really fucking stupid reasons and it makes me mad because you KNOW better. I should have said all of this before this point, but fuck if I’m good about saying things at the right time; point is, you should stop. Nick Durst, for the sake of everyone involved please stop. I know you live in a lawless hellhole full of liberal idiots who are always down to party but please make sure you never lose the plot. I don’t know, you’re more on the ball than I am so maybe you can handle it. I still want to write shit with you, because we’ve got similar humor. Oh well, it is what it is. Stay golden arm, horseman. To Tufano, I could write about how much you mean to me for hours. It makes me upset that you go through so much shit but the good book says that God doesn’t do it for fun, as I’m sure you know. Wish I could say what His reason is, but he’s very smart. I want to help you make anything you ever wish to make. You are my hero, Kevin. I wish I could be that strong. To Gabe, I wish to say this: You are truly a savant. You are a talented editor and creator, and your ideas are very good, but if you’re never going to ever compromise with the people who can help you at all to the point of being an eternal shut-in you’ll be lucky if you’ll ever have anyone who love you, Gabe. Don’t sacrifice your humanity for your artistry. You’re still a man, and even though humans are disgusting entities, don’t ever go without love. We need that. We all do. Also, stop being so ignorant. There’s nothing wrong with being steadfast but there’s everything wrong with being blind to other viewpoints because you view the people speaking them as lesser. You have said some truly uncool shit, and some truly cool shit. You’re going to be a better artist than I ever will be. To both Austins: we should have never bullied you like we did. You didn’t deserve that. It was a dumb thing to do and I personally hate the fact that I encouraged it in any capacity. And especially to you, 2dolla. I view you like a brother, and the shit I have said to you is inexcusable. I wish you can truly forgive me. To Vince, I just want to say I view you similarly. You have the capability to be the greatest artist out of all of us, but you have to discover it for yourself. Fuck us, don’t listen to us. Follow your heart, because if one day you were meant to be an artist, we wouldn’t have pointed you there, you would and probably will get there on your own with help from the people you love - and there are people out there that will reciprocate your love for them, Vince. I wish I could have been nicer to you, because you’re a lot like Tufano. You deserve some good company, and everyday I wish I could have given it to you two. To Jojo, or whatever your actual name is: I’m sure you saw this coming already. Please send me bail money when I go to jail for public indecency. To Gohlper, or whatever the name God gave you is, I shouldn’t have brought you into d2. I think we both know that d2 isn’t a very Christian organization and I don’t know what to say. I do want to say that you’re a good friend and our conversations on the gospel really reignited my moral center. You’re a good God-fearing man, and one day in the distant future I’d love to bring my wife to meet your family in Newfoundland. To Jan, if somehow if you’re reading this letter, I want to say that you’re right: you always were, and I was too stupid and blinded to see that. To the fans: thank you. Thank you so much, it means so much to me that even a small amount of people would actively watch our content. You are all fantastic. And if I didn’t mention you in this long wall of bittersweet rambling, I want to say this: I love you all. All of the legwork you did to even reach this point is fantastic. You are all my greatest friends, I only wish that I had known any of you in real life. Please, just if you ever get a chance like d2 again, don’t make any of the mistakes I, or some of us, have made. Thanks for all of the memories, and the laughs.


Yours truly,

Noah “fried_kooch” Braun

Founder of d2
Click to expand...
What the hell is this autism?

I wasn't here for DN, but the more I read about this, the more I remember Neil Venegas/SpergMagnet. Both of them are people who wanted to get or hold on to the anon's adulation for far, far too long.
 
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ULTIMATEPRIMETIME said:
View attachment 364367
WELCOME BACK to another exciting episode of your favorite anime; Slaton Brother. I'm pleased to announce that since I posted this thread yesterday, some people have come forward on Discord and told me some of their stories about kooch so I compiled some of it into a quick bonus part and saved the rest for a later date. Enjoy the extra content today!

Bonus Part 0 (pre-sequel): The Skype Groups and the Jan Autism Fight​
You’ll notice throughout these content updates that Kooch has a tendency to parasitically attach himself to people he considers a creative asset. He’ll assert himself at the “producer” position and oversee his creatives while taking credit for putting it all together. Kooch’s skill in management does not line up with is perceived skill and, like a vocal cord parasite, frequently consumes the life of any group he attains a leadership position in, sucking them dry with his eccentricity and killing them in the process. WizDumGun is the best example of this, but he’ll parade his work in D2 (More on this later) and his newer art collective as well.

In the summer of 2016, Jan Rankowski started posting videos again. It didn’t garner much positive feedback because of its lack of direction. To remedy this, he gathered a small group of writers to help with video production. This served a dual purpose to also alleviate the burden of producing content from Jan while he was recovering from severe brain damage. He considered Kooch to be the most promising content creator of the bunch.

I’ve heard from my interviewees that Kooch was in contact with Jan on Skype as early as July of 2016. I’m not in the old WDG Skype groups anymore, but July 2016 was allegedly a period where Kooch convinced Jan to essentially start a slapfight with Null to help alienate the Kiwifarms fanbase, who were considered a huge nuisance at the time. People were stalking Jan’s family, harassing DN actors in real life and pestering them to the point where they quit, among other things. Kooch used this as leverage to tap into Jan’s lust for revenge, blaming it all on Kiwifarms. In his badly brain-damaged state, Jan agreed to Kooch’s coercion and proceeded to post incoherent wwe wrestling videos aimed at Null with SlamJam/Linkin Park remixes as the music.

Jan started going on a exceptional larp crusade against KF’s management, which was quickly squashed and went nowhere. It served its purpose; to alienate anyone involved, but was seriously out of character for Jan, as he was previously considered to be a mostly reserved and calculating person, and stated that he didn't want drama at the time. After Jan left to focus on his real life, Kooch was left without a proxy. He would instead re-attempt the conflict under the King of Kek moniker, expecting no one to know who he was.

After Jan’s barely coherent attacks on Null, things began to unravel almost immediately. The fighting even provoked Rob to leave WizDumGun entirely, stating that he “wanted nothing to do with [Kooch’s] army of spergs”. Over the course of the next year, Kooch had attained full control of the remnants of both Deagle Nation and WizDumGun, “running it into the ground” in his own words and losing half the channels’ subscribers in the process.



Let's find out... In PART II

PART II: Doomspeak Dieschau (or d2 for short) and King of Kek Season 2
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After The Call ends, Jan breaks the silence between himself and the WizDumGun Discord to tell everyone that if they’re going to make their own 100% original content, on their own youtube channel, then they should just change their name to an original moniker instead of just using his. Everyone involved with the WDG2 bullshit was kicked out of the original WDG discord and left to discover themselves. Kooch creates a new group under the name “D2”. We would make one video collab and a number of independent videos until we decided to create a video game that killed the flow, among other things, leading to a total halt to any passable content outside of independent uploads.

Probably the defining moment of D2 was when Kooch tried to get his Internet art commune to draw furry porn for him to jerk off to, then tried to play it off as a joke. A common theme with kooch is that his style of humor is often so deeply submerged in irony and is so obnoxiously alienating that any attempt at humor is overshadowed by how much of an unfunny weirdo his behavior makes him look. He’s at just as much of a loss as if the content of his “joke” was unironic, which makes it moot whether or not he’s actually serious about any of it. Coco Smut Day is a perfect example of such an anti-joke.

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In early July of 2017, Kooch tries to get everyone involved in this event where everyone draws porn of a character from the Crash Bandicoot games. No one cares, and two of Kooch’s christian friends leave out of disgust. This worries Kooch, provoking him to backpedal on his “joke” and begs his christian friends to come back into the D2 Discord. He reveals that Coco Smut Day was actually an elaborate ruse to advertise Season 2 of his King of Kek character, because that worked out last time.

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And so begins the second shot at King of Kek, who is now a devout follower of esoteric kekism. This new iteration has its own Youtube account and advertises on 8chan instead of trying to attract the Kiwi Farms and Deagle Nation fanbase. Only two videos are produced, neither of them involve coco. There was also a discord which died in like 2 or 3 days since everyone knew the character was fake from the first time, but RPed with him for a little while anyway.

https://archive.fo/SDrrV
https://archive.fo/K0Zk2


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Eventually, our collective autism reaches a second critical mass. D2 as a collective invented an entire subculture worth of memes and vocabulary which were completely foreign and alien to anyone not in-the-know. On top of this, enthusiasm for collaborative projects, or any video production at all, came to a grinding halt. Kooch’s enlarged heart is stricken with sadness and frustration over the outcome of the group. It wasn’t at all what he dreamed it would be, and so decided to re-invent it, but not before Kooch spends a few hours sobbing while writing a passive-aggressive send-off monologue that reads suspiciously like a suicide note.


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And so ends the D2 saga... Or does it? Tune in tomorrow to find out whether or not Kooch is literally living in the movie Groundhog Day.

NEXT TIME ON SLATON BROTHER:
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Fuck. Coco Bandicoot was one of my favourite characters from my childhood. Now everythinh is ruined.

People will be sent to the gas chambers for this.
 
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