Maddox / George Ouzounian / George Schnoz - OG Internet blogger, Author of the NYT bestseller Alphabet of Manliness, Cohost of the Biggest Problem in the Universe, Filer of the Lolsuit. MADDOX BLAST!

[:thinking:]

On one hand, the guy who allegedly focus-tested his revenge video couldn't apply that same rigor towards his choice of attorney.

On the other hand, L.A. being what it is, it must've been a breath of fresh air to hear someone say "yes" to something.

Even to the question "are you going to rape me with your knife?"

 

[Monster of the week]

I mirrored his last article just in case. With a few fixes there and there, of course.

I also archived the mirror, Because I don't know how long does a Bitballoon page last.

 

[Leo Bonhart]

His writing has become so sloppy and poorly thought out:

What's annoying about phrases like "adulting" isn't the juxtaposition of the gerund "ing" with the noun "adult," which is meant to be ironic because it's implied that an adult would know how gerunds work—it's that the person who says it thinks they're being clever. You're not.

A) "-ing" is not a gerund. It's the suffix added to a gerund.
B) adding -ing to a noun is how gerunds work. What is ironic about the process? There are established gerunds which we have used for centuries and the newly minted ones which can be lame or useful. The only way I think a gerund could be ironic is if we had a noun 'ing'.
C) Maddox switching between the third and second voice here is distracting and ineffective (And I'll even let him off the hook for referring to a single adult as 'they' in the same sentence.).
D) In a single sentence he says "what's annoying about phrases" and then states "the person who says it" when he should say "the person who says them".
E) lol cuck

 

[AnOminous]

You posted on Kiwi Farms 57,000 times, so in all honestly I think you'd be able to bear it.

I'm proud of all those, though. They were all works of pure love.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Earlier, I'd wondered whether this would end with Maddox dropping the suit and declaring it a masterful satire on... something.

Now, as things get almost surreal as the suit goes further south, I wonder if it will end with Maddox approaching Dick, Asterios, and company and trying to carry on as if nothing happened.

 

[neurotypicon]

The lawyer legit deserves his own lolcow thread.

After he let his client admit to impersonating a Condé Nast employee to try and get Asterios fired, he is now FILING A MOTION FOR SANCTIONS against the attorneys for Asterios and his employer because they let him know that Maddox, by Landau's hand, had just admitted under oath to perjury and criminal impersonation.

lolsuit.com

 

[Henry Bemis]

The lawyer legit deserves his own lolcow thread.

After he let his client admit to impersonating a Condé Nast employee to try and get Asterios fired, he is now FILING A MOTION FOR SANCTIONS against the attorneys for Asterios and his employer because they let him know that Maddox, by Landau's hand, had just admitted under oath to perjury and criminal impersonation.

lolsuit.com

...Who and what is this lawsuit for? I'm losing track.

 

[Five Star Man]

...Who and what is this lawsuit for? I'm losing track.

Everyone whom Maddox believes has ruined his personal and professional reputation, aside from himself, of course.

 

[AprilRains]

I'm proud of all those, though. They were all works of pure love.

slut

 

[Russtard]

What the everloving fuck is that new motion for sanctions? Is Landau seriously trying to claim that Weber Shandwick knew Maddox was Heather and informed Asterios of that? How the fuck would that even be possible?

And now I'm imagining 50 year old Weber Shandwick executives listening to Dick scream in their offices.

 

[:thinking:]

The lawyer legit deserves his own lolcow thread.

After he let his client admit to impersonating a Condé Nast employee to try and get Asterios fired, he is now FILING A MOTION FOR SANCTIONS against the attorneys for Asterios and his employer because they let him know that Maddox, by Landau's hand, had just admitted under oath to perjury and criminal impersonation.

lolsuit.com

It will turn out that the lawyer doesn't exist and it's all just an elaborate Kaufman-esque prank.

 

[AnOminous]

...Who and what is this lawsuit for? I'm losing track.

It's one of those demented lolsuits where a crazy failure sues everyone he blames for his failure, which in George's case, is everyone more popular than him, which is pretty much everyone he's ever known for the last few years. And he found a drunk dogbite lawyer who doesn't even have a driver's license to litigate it for him.

 

[AprilRains]

When I was a kid, I thought that eventually the world would make sense, that all of the apparently random stupid shit adults did would add up and would simply be part of a brilliant plan I wasn't wise enough to see.

My father warned me that this was bullshit. That it would never make sense. That it was all stupid.

I thought he was joking.

I was fucking wrong.

 

[Henry Bemis]

It's one of those demented lolsuits where a crazy failure sues everyone he blames for his failure, which in George's case, is everyone more popular than him, which is pretty much everyone he's ever known for the last few years. And he found a drunk dogbite lawyer who doesn't even have a driver's license to litigate it for him.

Not so much "what" as in "What happened, I missed it." "What" as in "...What?"

 

[Lysol]

snip

I'm going to admit I didn't even know what the fuck a "gerund" was until you got me to look it up. Thanks for that. Anyway,

@AnOminous You're a lawyer right? What's the likelihood of Maddox being brought up on the crimes he admitted to under threat of perjury? How does that process even work, considering this is taking place in a civil court? Is he possibly looking at actual jailtime or prosecution here, and what does that hinge on if he does?

 

[AnOminous]

@AnOminous You're a lawyer right? What's the likelihood of Maddox being brought up on the crimes he admitted to under threat of perjury? How does that process even work, considering this is taking place in a civil court? Is he possibly looking at actual jailtime or prosecution here, and what does that hinge on if he does?

No, but I have a legal education, have passed the bar in a couple of states, and have really good grasp of motion practice and civil procedure.

Conde Nast isn't even in this lawsuit, though. While a civil judge can refer shit like this to a prosecutor, it's pretty unlikely to happen. It's still utterly ridiculous that the lawyer who actually filed an affidavit where a guy swore under penalty of perjury that he broke a bunch of laws to harass people he doesn't like is actually demanding sanctions against the people who pointed out, hey, look, here, this is what you filed in your own case.

 

[Lysol]

No, but I have a legal education, have passed the bar in a couple of states, and have really good grasp of motion practice and civil procedure.

Conde Nast isn't even in this lawsuit, though. While a civil judge can refer shit like this to a prosecutor, it's pretty unlikely to happen. It's still utterly ridiculous that the lawyer who actually filed an affidavit where a guy swore under penalty of perjury that he broke a bunch of laws to harass people he doesn't like is actually demanding sanctions against the people who pointed out, hey, look, here, this is what you filed in your own case.

Thanks for the rundown, though that does practically make you a lawyer, as far as understanding how all this shit works goes. So is there any way that one of the defendants in the case could point out he admitted to those crimes to a prosecutor? Basically, could the defendants threaten Maddox with going to a prosecutor over this if he doesn't stop?

 

[AnOminous]

Thanks for the rundown, though that does practically make you a lawyer, as far as understanding how all this shit works goes. So is there any way that one of the defendants in the case could point out he admitted to those crimes to a prosecutor? Basically, could the defendants threaten Maddox with going to a prosecutor over this if he doesn't stop?

A prosecutor is really unlikely to be interested in yet another slapfight between Internet tards.

 

[Monster of the week]

The lawyer legit deserves his own lolcow thread.

After he let his client admit to impersonating a Condé Nast employee to try and get Asterios fired, he is now FILING A MOTION FOR SANCTIONS against the attorneys for Asterios and his employer because they let him know that Maddox, by Landau's hand, had just admitted under oath to perjury and criminal impersonation.

lolsuit.com

His client admits he lied to get someone fired. Sues every other lawyer that brings up the fact. What an exceptional attorney at law.

 

[Richard Stabone]

I know it's small but I think a funny part of the lawsuit is how all the defendants lawyers have fancy e-mail addresses that go to domains of real law firms and Landau uses a Gmail account.

Does anyone know if Maddox is paying for this out of his own pocket of if it's just a desperate lawyer willing to work on a contingency basis?