DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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A little :offtopic:, but decided to watch Rambos podcast and cant help think that Howard looks so diffrent, while Rambo looks the same...

Before:
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Now:
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I dont know, but Howard looks like someone who got treated for cancer.

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Games were so much better quality when Phil was young.

Yes because the Atari 2600 and NES are known for their vast library of games that are completely original and game companies back then didn't just put out shit games to make easy money.
 
  • Winner
Reactions: Pubic Enemy #1
His "review" sounds like it is in line with what the gaming press has suggested it is: a fun couple of hours with friends then "that's it" sinks in. However I love how he does this in the most Phil way possible. How do you not recognize that you are not the most impressive spontaneous thinker and write your main points down ahead of time? Most overhyped MS game? Oh really?

. . .and that Twitter exchange is brilliant. Phil gets trapped in his own hypocritical-trap and doesn't see it coming from a mile away.
 
He went through youtube comments and delete a lot of them back when they were enabled, with people getting shadow-banned. I mean at least he had something to do for an hour rather than waiting for the auto-generated subtitles being ready for getting deleted.

Oh, yeah. I forgot he used to do that. I was actually surprised by that shot Neger posted of DSP on Shoryuken Forums saying he changed his IP to get around his IP ban. I never would have thought he'd be able to do something computer-related like that. He can surprise you when his ego's been wounded.

He bitches about no new popular releases but still hasn't played Kingdom Come Deliverance.

Has he said why?

Aside from dismissing it as 'indie', I remember him saying that it's 4 years of development time equates it to having been in 'development hell'. So he had a couple of excuses he threw out there.

I'd prefer some sort of chat but I'll take what I can get.

You could look into Freedom Chat. Someone else here might know more about it.

Tevin brought up a long time ago that dsp acquires (imitates? assimilates?) other people's laughs, like pandalee's laugh.

I remember him saying that, but I thought at the time he had it backwards. I think Leanna saw in Phil some sort of father figure, adapting his characteristics. Like how she was doing her own vlogs and gameplay videos, started her own 'business'. Just speculation, though.

A few pages ago NG posted one of his automated transcripts and Phil said something like "King of hate moniker" and the speech recognition wrote "Kike Pig moniker" lol

With Phil manually deleting his pre-streams captions, and now Youtube's speech recognition replacing his grandiose title with 'Kike pig', some great unexpected results have come out of this transcript thing.
 
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Shit DSP should become a fucking motivational speaker or something:
"The KEY to SUCCESS in LIFE is to HOLD ON to ALL of the BAD THINGS that PEEPUL have UNFAIRLY done to YOU. MAKE sure you DEDICATE your entire LIFE based upon these UNFAIR THINGS! I personally can GUARANTEE that this will work, in as little as a TEN YEAR LEGACY you too can have a FAILING PATREON, DWINDLING TWITCH stream and a SINKING YouTube channel!"

It always falls down to that fucking wolverine toy.

I am watching his recent video some people online said it was utterly toxic and it sure as fuck is;
The fact that he calls himself a gamer is utterly insulting and detrimental to people who love games. He is a vile hateful POS that can find joy in nothing. The fact that I knew nothing about this game other than Rare making it and saw Phil stream it and was like this seems awesome and I could be a pirate.

He knows nothing of how hard the programmers work and the stress they face - the fact these big games have dedications and montages in because these guys are working for nearly 100 hours a week in the final months is a testament to their love. I just find it disgusting /rant over.
 
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On the topic of "bugged captioning deletion mechanics" DSP has now strangely re-enabled captions from yesterdays stream and so far hasn't deleted today's captions, but he also only re-enabled yesterdays captions after making a bizarre response on today's prestream regarding trying to delete captions.

From today's stream:
"the rapper named Drake cheered I said why do you delete the closed captions off of your pre streams do you hate deaf people what on earth are you talking about what are you talking about"

Did he seriously think people would just think it was a YouTube bug when you disabled them, which you have to do manually? At least try and figure out how conspicuous it looks when you have 692 prestreams with captions and only 1 without captions.

Motherfucker, you know exactly what people are talking about, because you read this shit every fucking day and you delete captions because you don't want people to actually be able to read what you're saying. If you're so worried about what you say then focus on changing that instead of trying to stop it from being talked about and fucking up when you do even that.

I have no doubt its only a matter of time until someone cheers and asks him about his taxes and he start the "what on earth are you talking about?!?! tax attorney??? what tax attorney? I said I had a trainee accountant not a tax attorney!"
  • 22 March, 2018 Prestream
  • Pre-Stream March 22, 2018: Sea of Thieves Concludes
  • Duration: 1:05:42
  • Wordcount: 13,705

ok ladies and gentlemen hello and welcome how is everybody today hello hello hmm welcome to my first of 2 gameplay streams yet again today is Thursday March 22nd 2018 I am Darkseid Phil of course ladies and gentlemen and hello hello how are you hopefully you're doing well mmm I am doing well I am looking forward to today for various reasons okay let's let's talk a little bit about that all right let's start off with what you guys will be seeing on today's streams first of all this first gameplay stream that I'm doing it's gonna be a unique one okay you might say well why what's so unique about it well first of all it's my conclusion stream oh sea of thieves I've been playing sea of these for two days straight hmm and I'll also be playing it for one more session right now okay so what will I be doing in this session well I will be doing co-op as I've been doing the past two days I've got a couple people on deck ready to join and I'm gonna invite them to a party at the beginning of the game and this may be an opportunity for someone who has played with me either on Tuesday or Wednesday to also join me to try to get a full party so we're gonna see who's available and who would like to team with me for this final session of sea of Thieves um today on stream maybe saying now wait a minute final session of CFC I don't get it um why is this the final session the game's brand new it just came out on Tuesday right and you know there's only your third session you're only playing it three times well what's the deal why is that mm-hmm well very simple folks because as of today it seems I will have done everything available in the game and I mean that um at the past two days I've learned how to work with my crew to pilot the ship I learned how to search for buried treasure I learned how to fight the skeleton hordes and earn rewards by trading in their their skulls after I kill them I learned how to capture animals and trade them in to the merchants guild as well as gunpowder like other resources for rewards I've learned how to buy you know pieces of clothing accessories and tankards and other things to change the appearance of my character and I have taken over a skeleton stronghold so I've done all those things so what is left in sea of themes well hmm really there's only two major things left in the game to hunt and fight the Kraken okay that's number one and then number two to fight humans which I did try to do once or twice however it's incredibly hard in the game because guess what the world is incredibly empty and there's almost no other humans anywhere in fact I would say in the two whole days that I played the game seven hours of gameplay I've probably seen five human ships if that and you know twice I think I tried to actually fight the human ships and got completely dominated so you know it's just that's that's the point I'm trying to make here I think I've done everything you know if I were to keep playing this game what would I do the same shit again and again you know take over another skeleton stronghold that's the same as the other one do the same repetitive missions over and over to raise your guild rankings why would I bother you know what I mean um I don't see what else there is I just don't see what else turns into get into a thing is I've been asking I've been saying every one guys you know if anyone has any suggestions of stuff I haven't done in the game and you'd like to see me do please let me know and I'm getting it not even getting any responses no one's even saying anything apparently you know I really have covered everything it's hilarious because I see someone on my forums flume we played see of these two days it's like the hottest game on Twitch and you only play the two days he's quitting already I'm like dude did you watch any of the streams apparently not because you don't realize there's nothing left to do I've done everything now some other people are saying well I hope that sea of thieves would become a game like Pope gee for Phil we're from time to time he can go back to the well and do a session where he just plays it to interact with the viewers oh no that's not even possible and the reason being is because to play sea of thieves and do it properly you really need to play with a full crew and you to be constantly communicating oh we're gonna go to this island so we need you to sit on furl the sails you in one person and navigate and one person to steer you know you constantly need voice communication with your career I was originally gonna play this game without voice communication I can't imagine playing sea of thieves without voice communication it's incredibly important just to get from point A to point B to have voice communication to pilot the ship so if you're constantly having to communicate with your crew right in order to even get across the map how are you supposed to have time to read a stream chat interact with people on stream give shoutouts for to your subs and tips I'll be honest with you guys the past two days it's been really difficult for me to stay on top of the game it has it's been really hard for me to stay on top of it oh and and and still give you guys your shoutouts for your to yourselves in tips and you know when I have to read your shoutouts it basically breaks the immersion of the game and the people who are playing with me are kind of like really you know oh god Phil's reading shoutouts because they're expecting me to be talking to them with you know communication about the game and then all of a sudden they get distracted by shoutouts you see what I mean it's not like pulp G where there's 20 minutes of dead time where you're just gathering resources and looking for a vehicle and you have tons of time to interact with stream chat it's kind of the complete opposite we really have to all be hyper focused on the game and playing up with the people who you're called co-op being with and therefore you can't really focus on stream chat or anything like that see what I mean mm-hmm so really it's like it feels like the opposite to me um now here's what I'm gonna do today I'm gonna be doing my final session of sea of Thieves um you know probably play for about three hours or so and then I'm gonna end the game play a little bit early because I'm going to do a live review of sea of thieves right here on the stream since people are dying for me to review this game I'm going to do a live review of sea of thieves for you guys right here live on stream and yes it's going to be recorded for YouTube and upload it to YouTube afterward so this is the first game review okay the first game review that I've done since last summer so yes this is happening today so there you go that's today's first stream my final gameplay of sea of thieves hunting the Kraken maybe doing some more side missions which is a really side missions it's really the only thing to do in the game and and then a live review alright um tonight on my second stream ladies and gentlemen you guys voted overnight for what I would play tonight and the options were a pub GE Call of Duty World War 2 or altra Street Fighter 2 and in overwhelming numbers over 40% of the vote Ultra Street Fighter 2 is in the lead and it's going to win because really it only has about um I think only like 5 more hours to go and so unless we get like you know another 200 people who all vote for other games outside of Ultra Street Fighter 2 Ultra Street Fighter 2 is gonna win its ahead by over 10% of the vote so it looks like Ultra Street Fighter 2 will be tonight second-string alright pretty good right and that's pretty sweet because two reasons number one as you guys know I'm a huge fan of Street Fighter oh and Street Fighter 2 is the Street Fighter game that I'm the best at and coming off of playing it on Sunday you know I've kind of got the Street Fighter bug again and I'm craving playing Street Fighter again which is a good thing because of the second point I'm about to make the Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection has a release date may 29th 2018 so two months and so in the next two months to actually be playing Ultra Street Fighter 2 every once in a while when I have an opportunity to play em well number one keep me in the mindset of Street Fighter right and number two keep me trying to get the rust off so even though this is not the best version of Street Fighter 2 its laggy online it's hard to find matches you got it e 'it's picking overpowered characters who should not be in ranked matches like a kuma and violent ken um I still have fun playing it and you know Sunday stream was really good so I am looking forward to tonight Ultra Street Fighter 2 tonight on stream ok um then tomorrow's my day off all right tomorrow is my day off after you know hard-earned after eight days straight that I've been streaming by the way um so finally a day off tomorrow and then I'm coming back on a Saturday with the premiere of a ninokuni to revenant Kingdom I'm very excited for this game I love ninokuni one I love JRPGs all the reviews for this game are incredibly positive everyone's saying the game is of outstanding JRPG it's about time we needed one the graphics are great it's an adult-oriented story and theme the cut you know the gameplay itself is good so I'm really pumped for Saturday I hope you guys are too um what I'm thinking is ninokuni 2 is gonna kind of be kind of like how persona 5 was last year where we'll start off strong and then more than likely what happens with JRPGs is the attention kind of dies off a little bit but it'll be an ongoing playthrough that I'll be doing for you know a hardcore audience who really like myself my content and JRPGs and hopefully will have a lot of fun right I'm it doesn't really matter if we get an overabundance of viewers or just a small dedicated amount of viewers as long as we're all enjoying the game and having fun right Danny doesn't really matter and that's kind of the way I'm approaching ninokuni - I know it's a JRPG I know that my main viewing audience is very turned off by JRPGs I wasn't born yesterday I've been doing this for 10 years and every single time that I played a JRPG this happened ok um so that being said I'm very excited for this game and I hope that you guys will join me for it starting on Saturday ok um and then it'll be neo ninokuni to balance with other stuff maybe I'll do a little bit Call of Duty or maybe I'll do a little bit of pub G we'll see until Tuesday and then on Tuesday we got Far Cry 5 finally releasing along with the final episode of Batman season 2 from Telltale Games so I'll be doing that and then it'll be basically a balance of Far Cry 5 and ninokuni 2 for a while with all their stuff mixed in and sprinkled in from here to there until we finally get to an opportunity when there's more dead time now some people have said well Phil are you aware that Assassin's Creed rogue releases this week it's the remastered version of Assassin's Creed rogue my answer is yes I am aware of that mm-hmm however you know being that all these other games are coming out and I'm gonna be busy with them I'm not playing this at launch but this could be a game the remaster of Assassin's Creed rogue possibly I could start up and say April once I'm done with Far Cry 5 and I'm well into ninokuni 2 and I'm looking for something else to do maybe I could balance that in there all right so we'll see all right we'll see um we'll see how it goes and go from there all right but I'm feeling good I'm feeling good about the next couple of weeks new content new fun stuff well I hope you guys are excited for the streams and everything I'm certainly excited looking forward to it so there you go all right anything else I'm trying to think there's anything else I want to talk about before we move on here on the pre-screen um let's see hmm hmm really nothing else has come over easily it's been pretty like I said it sadly and I hate to say this it's been really slow in the realm of gaming it just has um games that were hyped and were exciting expected to be good aren't good and there hasn't been any major new releases in a long time so I'm seriously hoping that there will be some good games coming up shortly you know what I mean um we really need them and you know that's why I'm hoping you know Cooney to Far Cry 5 God of War let's hope all these games end up living up to their potential all right um so that's really it I guess what we'll do let's do some plugs and then I'll do some shoutouts for you guys who have cheered something tips here on the pre stream and then we'll get into the end of CE of these which is really I don't even know honestly I don't even know if what's left in the game is gonna be enough to occupy my stream today I have no idea Oh all right so folks thank you very much for your support thank you very much for your viewership I appreciate everything that you guys say in do I really do and you know the reason I'm still here today is because in the past year you guys have give me overwhelming amount of support I've become the underdog yet again um but I feel good because there is a big amount of positivity behind myself behind my streaming behind my gameplay behind everything I do again and it's a really good feeling because I haven't felt that in a while so thank you guys alright and if you're currently either watching this live on stream or maybe you're watching this pre stream video on YouTube there's a lot of people watching on demand as well mm-hmm and you'll like everything I do you like that daily I put in you know hours and hours of work you get free content every single day if you'd like to go above and beyond just being a standard stream viewer and do other things in order to support my effort to keep doing this all right there's many things that you can do which we will talk about right now the first of which is patreon at patreon.com forward slash star site fail if you pledge to my patreon first of all you're directly helping me in operating this business and allowing me to continue to do this for a living you know the cost of games internet electricity equipment can really pile up especially during busier times of the year when there's a lot of new game releases and stuff going on or when unforeseen circumstances happen like just in the past few months I'll monitor die and I had to get a new one I ran out of storage space had to buy a new external hard drive this stuff comes up all the time okay so that being said um you know your pledges to my patreon helped with that and the cool thing about patreon is anything that you pledge to my patreon contributes to a monthly perk level and depending on what you contribute you earn personal perks you get stuff back right for your contributions for example getting texts or verbal thank you shoutouts in my videos getting premium form access so you can nominate and vote on games for events you can get your crushes answered on my bimonthly Q&A show ask the King which is happening next month in April by the way in less than a month hint hint and or you can even get any private Q&A video made so all these things alright great perks I'm not gonna go to massive detail about them go check them out for yourself at patreon.com forward slash darkside fill your pledges are greatly appreciate it and help me out thank you guys who are current pledge ease and for those considering pledging in the future thank you as well in advance alright it's number one number two there is my teespring shop okay where you can buy really cool darkside fill and DSP gaming themed sweatshirts t-shirts hoodies mugs and stickers all kinds of merch all kinds of swag as they say um all designed by my viewers and fans alright really cool stuff the current line of product features a parody on the Red Dead Redemption and logo as well as a kind of parody of the Sonic the Hedgehog logo alright pretty cool stuff you want to give it a look over at teespring com forward slash stores forward slash DSP gaming anything alright anything that you buy from my teespring store alright um ends up giving me a pretty sizable Commission which is great right it's great that I could get a pretty sizable Commission it helps me out but also obviously you're getting a collectible too so it goes hand in hand you get something cool helps me out um if you do buy something from Mikey Springs store and you would like to share it with the world ok feel free to send me a picture on Twitter at they call me DSP I'd be more than happy to share that with my over 25,000 to Twitter followers sounds good alright and then folks last but certainly not least if you were watching live on stream today and you would like a shout out during the stream there are three ways you can get one you can either cheer with bits subscribe to the channel or tip me on stream as well if you do any of those three things I will give you a verbal shout out for your contributions the thing is you know depending on what you say you know maybe I'll just give you a shout out maybe I'll answer a question etc all right but there are a few ground rules number one please keep it concise please do not you do a shout a cheer or subscribe and then leave a 14 sentence essay I'm not going to read it on streem and we don't have time for that all right number two please keep it positive we don't want negative stuff insults things inciting anger or you know trying to start trouble we're not gonna have that and I'm not gonna read those on stream okay um and please keep it on topic I mean I understand that some people might have random questions have nothing to do with what's going on on stream that's okay but let's not completely derail the stream with cheers for you know 45 minutes about something has nothing whatsoever to do with anything going on on stream you know let's try to at least keep it a little bit kind of selfies all right okay so there you go now you can also get an onscreen pop-up notification so visual recognition for your contributions if you cheer 50 bits or more if you subscribe to the channel and click on the share button after you subscribe to the channel alright or if you tip me five dollars or more so those three methods you'll get an on screen animation in fact you're seeing a couple of the animations right now on the screen they just happened okay um so if you want to get a little visual and verbal recognition that's what you need to do all right now two final things before we get to shoutouts first of all I want to say thank all of you you know for your great support it is very much appreciated right now this month we are pushing to hit 500 subscribers by the end of the month it is nine days left in this month alright 9 days to go we've got two hot new releases coming up in ninokuni 2 as well as far cry 5 will they bring in new viewers possibly they will and I'm excited I hope they do maybe we can get some newcomers or maybe some of you who are regulars maybe we'll finally decide to subscribe to the channel what do you get for subscribing well you get access to all of the awesome emotes that you see people using in the stream chat frequently including things like Diigo who filled the DFP Pepe you know all the cool well the wrong emote all the facepalm email all the different darkside fill emotes are available to the subscribers in addition you get a cool chat subscriber badge representing how long you've been a sub you start out as a bronze crown then after three months you hit the silver crown and then after a six months it's a golden crown and then for those who are lucky to be a year or longer okay you get a golden crown encrusted with beautiful shining rubies okay shady sands actually is a one-year sub and he just tested it so there it is um so pretty awesome right um now once you hit a true yourself there is a diamond crown that's gonna be coming out as well however no one's been able to do that because I started streaming November 2016 so you know coming this in November some people will be hitting the two-year mark and we'll get to see that finally right so that's what you benefit and then of course if I do take a break a commercial break and I run ads I'm not sure if if subs see those ads or not it used to be they didn't but I think twitch may have changed that I have no idea um but anyway that's what you get from it and then me obviously you help me out a little bit by subscribing so there you go alright let's make a push we could do it 500 subs by the end of the month if we do hit 500 I'll be bringing back the patrons Choice playthrough by which we'll be doing a game that patrons vote and nominate some games in the past that have been a patron choice play throughs our sonic various Sonic games loss we're Mario Sunshine persona Yakuza and of course we could forget Spyro the Dragon so it's a really awesome games that I played over the years as a result of this event so I hope we can do it again alright alright um and then last but not least folks again I know some people don't want to hear this stuff but it's very important to me it's very important that I can keep doing what I'm doing and living where I'm living so I need to do a small segment here about my situation currently and how I need your help all right so what's the deal folks maybe this is the first time you joined a stream in a while you don't even know what I'm talking about um I'm in a pretty bad financial situation and not in any kind of fault of my own alright as of last year I adjusted everything I left YouTube as a full-time youtuber and became more of a full-time streamer and because of all the positive changes that I made to my content am i streaming people absolutely love it they come out they support and I'm good I've been able to pay my bills and everything's great problem being at the end of last year I was slapped with a pretty huge problem I was told by the state of Washington where I moved to in 2014 that I was supposed to be doing business taxes in the state of Washington paying these yearly since 2014 however my accountant / tax attorney who I had employed all the way back since 2011 didn't do my taxes properly didn't do due diligence to find out I owed these taxes and I was owing thousands upon thousands of dollars of back taxes to the state of Washington now I didn't have that money I was making just making ends meet with the stream changes and everything and I was like what am I gonna do so you guys rallied at the end of last year you were very supportive here on stream and you got me through this big hurdle in January where I owed thousands of dollars in taxes as well as a big bill that I had to pay to a new tax attorney to get this whole thing fixed alright um so thank you for that you guys are the reason why I'm still here right now and you're the reason why my girlfriend Kat was able to move in last month okay but I'm still in a pickle and here's why that was just to take care of the 20-17 business taxes now coming up next month I'm gonna have due back taxes for the state of Washington from the years of 2014 to 2016 I don't even know what the amount is there's also going to be fees and interest that I'm going to owe and it's a bad situation cuz I'm not sitting on a bunch of money I'm not um so I don't know what I'm gonna do and I in addition to that I've got a federal tax payment due because my income are kind of inflated at the end of last year when you guys helped me out with this tax situation my overall yearly income went up and now I owe additional federal tax in addition to all of that my first estimated federal tax payment for 2018 is also doing in April so I'm in a bad situation here we're simply pull it I'm gonna go three big cats payments at once I don't know they are yet I'm supposed to find out hopefully within the next week what's gonna happen with these federal taxes as for the state taxes that's for the state to figure out whatever they get a chance to do so and they've told me it may not be even until mid to late April so I don't even know what to do in that situation um but that being said uh I do have some money it's not like I'm sitting on nothing you know there was additional income that I had from you guys you know helping me out last year and also you know the last couple months of 2017 as well the first month of 2018 here on stream were really good so I've got you know some money saved up to help with this tax situation but if the taxes end up being as much as I'm estimating it's not gonna be nearly enough and I'm now in a situation where if I can't pay my taxes in April all right what's gonna happen is you're gonna get fees and interest and more stuff just accruing and rolling into later in the air and then if I can't pay my taxes later this year the same thing happens so it's just gonna keep rolling until at the end of this year I can't pay all my taxes all right I don't know what I'm gonna do because that you know the federal government is not a nice place let's put it that way they will the IRS will destroy me if I don't pay my taxes all right um so more than likely what's gonna end up happening is I can't pay these taxes by the end of the year I'm going to have to sell my house I don't want to do that you know my house is the only thing that I have any equity or value in at this point um I'm fully extended financially everywhere else that I am and it sucks the situation that I'm in because I didn't put myself in the situation I didn't this taxes if I didn't owe these state taxes I'd be perfectly fine I'd be able to afford everything right now but it's because of the situation with my tax attorney who screwed me over and I have no recourse I can't sue the guy because I don't have the time or money to do it and it wouldn't even make up all the money anyway um I'm pretty much in a situation where I you know it's kind of rocking a hard place I've worked for ten years being the content creator for you guys working my ass off you know to the point where you know a lot of things have been sacrificed to do what I do and to get where I am and the fact that I may have to get lose my house now now with my girlfriend just moved in we're starting a new life here together everything's awesome the fact I might lose my house the end of this year or have to sell it by you know start getting on the market by the end of this year because of a situation I didn't create is pretty disheartening okay so any aid that you guys can lend is much appreciated how can you help well number one you can pledge to my patreon which I've already mentioned number two you can subscribe to the channel as I know that's not what I meant to say I said the wrong thing haha I mean subscribing would help but it wouldn't help with this current situation because I need funds by April so subscribing actually would not help with this current situation what would help is if you bought something from my teespring that's what I meant to say if you buy something for my teespring that helps or the you know obviously if you're here live on stream alright if you're here live on stream and you are looking for it you know cuz you get a shout out for your contribution tipping me is actually the best way to go all right the absolute best way to go and you might say well how do I tip well if you look below the stream there's a grid of information including links to my YouTube channels links to you know the rules of the channel which I recommend you all read it by the way um but there's also a section for tips and if you click on that it takes you to my tips page where you can either leave an anonymous tip or you can leave your name in a message so you can get a shout out during the stream now if you don't see that information maybe you're on a mobile device then if you actually type exclamation point tip into the stream chat I'll bring up the link you click on that link that will bring you to the same tips page alright so that being said ladies and gentlemen you may say well gee why is patreon teespring and tipping so important right now why does that help fill over any other thing that I could do to do you know to help the bottom line is all three of those methods I get those funds right away instantly there's no downtime there's no processing time I can withdraw patron funds withdraw teespring funds or get your tips and spend them on stuff immediately and right now what I need now in the middle of April is to raise as much capital as possible to pay towards these taxes because the least amount of taxes that I have left means less late fees less interest see what I mean so as much I could pay it down as possible I know I'm probably not gonna be able to afford the whole at this point but the most I could pay it down as possible is going to help alright so anything you guys contribute 100% he's going towards taxes so anything guys please if you could help please do I want to keep continuing to do free and flaunt entertaining streams and content for you on a daily basis I don't want things to change later this year where I have to put my house on the market and now I can't stream anymore because I'm so busy trying to sell my house and moving and all this shit and you know we all know what would happen the quality of the streams would go down they'd be less frequent um you know I have an office now with all kinds of cool equipment and soundproofing I don't want to lose all that you know it'll be a big undertaking and it would not be pretty so please um you know consider if you can helping at all right all right it is now time for shout outs for people who have cheered some and tipped um during the priest ring all right so let's do this folks um let's go all the way down here and let's do some shout outs so first of all a few people who contributed overnight when I wasn't even streaming which is really really nice of them it looks like mark McCauley at the end of yesterday stream the tail end actually recent scribed to the channel for the third month in a row so thank you Mark McCauley for that I did not see that um last night but I want you a credit for that well infinite did a fifty bitch here be excuse me bear RIS red subscribe to the channel Bharath red and then Cedella also research scribe at tier two for the third month in a row so thank you very much for the tier two service Adela and Cedella says the following I was talking to someone on YouTube chat and I was telling someone about you and how you're a good guy in a good streamer and she believed every single negative troll video about you it makes me sad that some people don't want to give you a chance listen it's true and I hate to say it sadly there are just some people in life who are sheep and it sucks but that's that's how they want to go through life all right yeah they don't want to uh you have any independent thought they want to be told what to think told how to act and they just want to be told this is how it is so when they see negative videos about me on the Internet do they do five seconds of independent research do they actually go to one of my streams and see one of my stream to see what it's like for themselves mm-hmm all right what do they you know what do they do do they do that or do they just believe what they're told well I saw a slanderous video that you know took highlights from ten years of content of yours Phil of negative things and spun you in a negative light therefore you must be a horrendous person and I will never watch your stuff and I will talk shit about you eternally okay um so that's ridiculous you know if here's the truth of the matter folks and this is really true in my life I'm 35 years on this planet actually I'm about to be I don't have you guys realized my birthday is right around the corner holy shit Wow what's today my birthday is in two weeks oh my god Wow dude this is a realization guys I had no idea my birthday was in two weeks I was just thinking about how old I am and I was like I'm 35 oh wait I'm gonna be 36 holy shit my birthday is like in two weeks I haven't even thought of my birthday for a single moment holy shit man all right anyway that being said I'm almost 36 okay in my 36 years on this planet earth this is the God's honest truth if I had just done what I was told or believed everything I was told and I never thought for myself or actively sought the truth or actively Wow and did things that maybe I was told not to do you know what I mean and I'm not saying all reads against the machine and always defy authority or defy what you're told or still I'm not saying there but what I'm saying is there has to be an age of reason where you realize wow maybe not everything that I'm told in life is true maybe things have spin maybe things are done for a reason okay and if you take a look at the really negative stuff that's said about me all over the Internet I want you to take a look at it closely and just for a moment micro analyze it and try to realize why it's out there gee look at this person's YouTube channel they made content of themselves and they couldn't get any views you know then all of a sudden they made a negative video about darkside Phil and it got like 20,000 views and then it is the biggest video they've ever made hmm and that's the bottom line is that when people say negative dramatic stupid shit about people on the internet they get attention because that's what YouTube promotes YouTube is set up as a system to promote slander drama rumors gossip that's what YouTube does that's what the algorithm that automated algorithm that pushes stuff to the top of YouTube that's what it does if you search for me darkside Phil or DSP gaming keep in mind I've been on YouTube for ten years I have over 60,000 videos and over 400 million views under my Bell on YouTube alright ten years of my life you would think if you search for me or DSP gaming you would find something of my nope the first thing that comes up are slanderous videos about me cuz YouTube's search algorithm is a broken piece of fucking shit okay so why do you think people make slanderous videos about me because they know if they do they immediately get attention and they immediately get a benefit from it even if they don't even know me they've had no interaction with me or anything about me personally they still do it on purpose to get attention okay it's ridiculous so that's why so I feel you know it's lame because there are people tons of them tens of thousands hundreds of thousands millions who in life they never actually seek out anything for themselves they just sit around and they watch the news and the news is true and they go on the internet and they see something on Twitter that must be true they see a video on YouTube it must be true they never have an independent thought on their fucking head these people are the definition of sheep and that's their life what a great contribution to the planet when all you do is believe what you're told constantly and you never actually actively seek out any kind of truth um it's lame but that's the problem is there's tons of people like that so I'm not surprised whatsoever Cedella to hear this story that you know you hear that there's people out there who absolutely hate my guts but they know nothing about the real me they refuse to come watch a stream they refuse to actually watch my real content because it's hilarious that I every once in a while you'll get someone who'll come in here and say holy crap Phil you know I've heard so much negative stuff about you I said I got it finally check this guy out for myself and now that I do I love your streams they're fun they're chill they're it's you know they're exciting they're funny you you rage when you fail um you know you but you have some intelligent fun conversation with your viewers there's a lot of fun to be had just playing you know different various games because you're a variety style streamer you know this is a cool place to hang out but they don't know that because they believe all the crap so there you go um but anyway Cedella thank you for the support and you know what I do appreciate you at least trying to get people to come check me out that's all you can do you know don't be discouraged and don't be disheartened if you're a fan or if you were mine and you try to get people to come check out my stuff and they're like but that's the guy who has 10,000 negative videos about him on YouTube just say yeah you wanna know why those videos exist because all those people are no-talent hacks and they couldn't get any views out for themselves so they said shit about Phil and immediately they went to the top of you to search rankings and got artificial views for their crap but actually go check Phil out for yourself and you'll actually see it's a lot different that's all you can do and if that person then decides to go do that great and if they don't no skin off your back and you shouldn't feel bad there's nothing you can do some people are just sheep and you can't help them alright mmm okay reason bread is tasty did a hundred cheer and says Phil would you be up for playing over watching and they added a new hero and I think you'd enjoy playing it again with fans every now and again thanks listen I like I actually do like overwatch I do do I like it as a competitive game now I never gotten that much into it I certainly never played it enough to the point where I got to a competitive level and I was great at the game alright it's true I just never but I did get to a point where I was playing it consistently and I really enjoyed it for about a year and sadly I say by about the end of that year um people really kind of fell out of love with me playing the game for what I just thought it was boring this is the same shit stop playing it so I did you know um I mean I remember the last few sessions I mean the last one I did it was the what was the name death fist or whatever his name is uh whenever he premiered I do the stream and like no one showed up everyone on stream was like this is boring and no one showed up and everyone was like just do something else and I was like well you know it kind of sucks but it is what it is maybe if I had been someone who had focused competitively on overwatch and was really good at the game and you know was playing at a high level then maybe people would care but in general just seemed that many viewership kind of fell out of love with the game and didn't really care about it anymore oh it was doom fist not death fist excuse me thank you to those who corrected me in the stream channel remember I only played once ever and that was it and that was the last time I played and that was what a year ago right so I haven't seen anything in overwatch in a year you know it's funny cuz cap last month when she moved in she was playing overwatch and I was watching her played a little bit because I was like man I heard you say you're so good at the game and I watch those like holy fuck she got like 18 kill streak and shit with uh with with uh oh my god I can't remember her name the Indian girl so Symetra yes Symetra she ET kill tree was so much I'm like oh my god you're really good at this fucking game but I'm watching her play I'm like what is this map I've never seen this before you know and I'm like who's that character oh that's Moira who the fuck is that oh she's a new character I didn't even know who she was um so so I was like wow I played one game on her PC and it was like a mind altering experience there was no delay no lag I won't ask I was MVP I flicked the soldier and I was MVP of the team I got like eight or twelve kill streak it was nuts and I was like holy shit this game is actually great on PC no delay right but anyway that will you know I haven't played the game in so long I don't think it would make sense for me to go back I would be so out of the loop plus keep in mind I'm still be playing on ps4 with all the delay and everything it wouldn't be like me playing the PC version like I play it on her PC and I had a lot of fun whoo go right back to the situation where we delay and the plus like I said I think overwatch is a game if you stayed on top of it for two years okay then maybe people would still be interested in me watching it but I have it for a year no one's gonna care about me going back to it alright so I'm probably not gonna go back to overwatch just saying hmm Cody Carl's did a 25 bitch here and said even though not everyone understands the humor in it your April Fool specials are some of my favorites I hope you consider doing one this year dude I didn't even realize my birthday was in two weeks when is April Fool's so today oh my god dude April Fool's is in just over a week and I really doubt I'm gonna do anything for it I doubt it um at that point I'm gonna be in the midst of far cry 5 I'm also going to be playing at ninokuni oh you know why that day that day April Fool's Day is the first of April Sunday that's actually the day I then went to change my schedule which I should mention I'm pre streaming here I did not mention it yet guys but I should bring this up it's very important Oh starting in April all of my streams are going to change all right how are they gonna change they're going to be earlier all right earlier on and what that means is roughly an hour maybe an hour and a half earlier okay so right now my first stream starts around 11:30 a.m. Pacific time it's gonna start around 10:30 a.m. if not maybe maybe like 10:15 a.m. Pacific time you might say well why why are your streams going bad why are you pulling your streams back starting earlier well it's because I'm trying to basically get in line with a normal schedule which I've never done um throughout all the years that I live streamed and all this I never really had a normal human schedule I was sleeping in way too late waking up and basically streaming first in the afternoon then taking a break for dinner then happen streaming late at night and my late nights dream no one in Europe could really watch it because it was so late over there um and then I was staying up way too late so now what's happening his cat has you know she's working now and she has like kind of normal office hours she goes in early in morning and she leaves you know in the early to late afternoon some days some days she works a little later but with those hours I don't even see her like this morning when I woke up she was gone she comes home from work when I'm working we see each other at dinner but then I do a second stream and she has to go back to sleep to go to work the next day so for this whole week I've barely seen her and we're like this can't work this is not working we got a fig we got to change stuff so what I'm gonna do I'm gonna start going to bed earlier but I'm gonna start waking up earlier okay which allows me then to see her in the morning and allows me to have a stream that's earlier so I can end my stream earlier so when she's coming home from work I'm done with streaming and now we have time to spend together we can have dinner together and then second stream is earlier my second stream right now starts roughly around 7:30 p.m. Pacific time it's gonna start probably around 6:15 p.m. Pacific time so we're talking about another hour 15 minute difference and that stream is gonna end earlier see what I mean so now I'll have some time to spend with her at night before she goes to sleep to go to work the next morning so that's what I'm doing and plus let's face this for all of you who are not American if you don't live in America and you all have been watching me internationally this is probably going to massively benefit you because I've gotten you know suggestions over the years so many times Phil do earlier streams cuz in the European Union in particular we can't watch your streams cuz they're too late so I'm pulling the time back to try to make it easier for you guys alright sound good um so that's that's coming up alright fYI that is coming up in April and so probably April 1st may be the first day where I do this and no it won't be an April Fool's joke it'll actually be a regular thing where I'm streaming earlier ending earlier to spend more time with my girlfriend and to have a more human schedule and to have more time with my European viewers as well I think this is gonna work out ok and no I will say this folks that whoever this is catastrophe in the stream Jap is not my girlfriend my girlfriend is at work right now that is not my girlfriend in the streams yeah so you are Aldous but there's another person in the stream chat with a name ouch that must be Phil's girlfriend because we all know there's only one woman on planet earth with the name Kat yes we've we've done all this intensive research and to put two and two together to create seventeen and now we have figured out the mystery no that is not my girlfriend and stream chat fYI just see you guys now but anyway um more than likely I am NOT doing uh an April Fool special this year but more than likely I am still gonna be playing far cry 5 and/or ninokuni too and I will be pulling back my streams by about an hour to an hour and 15 minutes starting in April and we'll see how we go is okay everybody hmm alrighty then um super meatboy cheered and said repeat after me after me after me okay good for you what a shout-out master sorry you cheered and said the verdict is in for C of Thieves it's not good 67 overall from critics and a 5.9 user score on Metacritic ouch well I'm gonna be reviewing it today too so there you go Super Meat Boy cheered again and this time did another kind of weird lyric you used to call me on my cell phone I don't even know what this is is this for a Drake lyric or something stupid I don't know anyway truckies 14 who was banned from the stream jak is an idiot troll cheered and said you were just talking mid should have bet this game that I stayed in your piggy stream you keep it could Mitch in me me me me me you're so stupid I said all along I would be playing it three times this week and I wanted to see all the content before I reviewed it why wouldn't I play a final time to do the Kraken and the final stuff oh wait you're stupid I forgot it's all just ignore your stupid a stupidity shut up to Jose Cuervo 5:27 who subscribed to the channel Thank You Jose Cuervo for the Sun shout-out to Abigail rife Inger who did a 65 bitch here thank you very much Woodrow Wilson did a 25 each year I said you think Donald Trump beat up Joe Biden he's claiming on Twitter today that he can honestly if the two of them got into a fight they probably both died of heart attacks because they're both older men and they probably should not be talking this kind of garbage on the internet since they're both supposed to be role models to people and to show to people how to behave and be responsible adults but instead they're on Twitter talking about beating each other up like schoolyard beep rivals it's so stupid when this is our government these are the people who lead us in its country people want to beat each other up on the playground what the fuck stupid anyway could it go for days through the 25 bitch here and he said hey Phil kind of funny seeing some people say that they don't like watching because there's no new games coming out now there's a new game coming out you know you played sea of thieves and people are like well this new game is going go back to play 12 G it's like make up your own mind no see and critical for days this is exactly the point that I made this year has been a really dead year when it came to gaming the games that have come out that have been popular are not games that people would like to watch me play like for example monster hunter world it's a repetitive grinding game that I found boring when I played the beta so if I played it people would have just complained that the game was boring so I skipped it and people complained that I skipped eight see what I mean then in February again no real new games coming out a game called Kingdom Come deliverance comes out or whatever the hell it is I looked into it didn't look like a game I'd be interested in people complain I didn't play it but if I play the game they would have complained that I did the problem is right now that there's really nothing going on in the realm of gaming at all and the few things that have come out like sea of thieves or boring so it's like this really has been one of the deadest years for gaming for these first three months it just has I don't think anyone could dispute this when you compare this to the past few years and the things that have come out early on in the year versus this year this has been one of the dentist years ever um and that's unfortunate because usually when you start to you're strong you get this big motivation right this year has been like and he's done you can do you know when there's overall just a negative feeling about gaming and there's nothing going on you know there's my dedicated viewers who will be here no matter what I play and they'll hang out with me and little chill and have a good time and I really do appreciate that cuz you guys are the ones who keep me going right but really mmm the people who come around just for the new stuff I've been around lately because it really hasn't what you knew now we got ninokuni - on Saturday we got far cry 5 this Tuesday next month we've got God of War and I ant expecting a bunch of people to come check that out um and then in May just between state of decay to Detroit become human and the Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection may is gonna be huge all right but you're absolutely right it's like damned if you do damned if you don't so if you play every new game people complain the games are boring if you don't play every new game people complain you're not playing the new games so that's the situation I'm kind of up against well for me rather than focus on the negativity I'd rather focus on the positive the fact that I do have people who come out and watch me play stuff no matter what people who support me no matter what people who enjoy what I'm doing no matter what because they like me and they like hanging out with me and my honest reaction is they appreciate what I've been doing for ten damn years and they want to see keep going you know there's there's always gonna be a fickle group of people who will only come by when there's a big hype new release that's good and I understand that I know that that's kind of part of what I do after doing it for ten years as a variety streamer I expect it um it is what it is but you know thank you to those who are here regardless of anything so thank you for that all right um eternal nap I did a fifty bit cheer he said sea of thieves is no man's sky 2.0 what is scary is that was supposed to be Xbox is flagship game not looking good I know dude they promoted the hell out of CE of phase they put a ton of money into the marketing I saw they had buses driving around promoting the game they made special edition Xbox ones for the game and this game is pretty much a dud on arrival so it's not looking good for these Microsoft Studio exclusives although I'll say this state of decay one was an outstandingly good game it exceeded all expectations so I'm really hoping for good things for state of decay - next month and that is a Microsoft Studios exclusive as well well that's uh excuse me that's in May not next month that's May the Aston Martin cheered and says due to the recent tax law that passed we're withholding rates went down wouldn't you be only Oh less taxes possibly it's possible it's not 100% set in stone um my tax attorney back in January actually said yes it's possible that you'll overall be paying a less percentage however since I made more money last year than I did the year before because of people being so generous at the end of the year um which inflated my overall income it means that they're going to base my income this year off of my income last year and therefore I'm going to have to pay more taxes upfront based on the estimations um so that being said I I'm going to be paying more overall anyway no matter what even if the tax rates went down for me this year I will still be paying war federal tax in 2018 than I did in 2017 simply because it's based on a higher estimated total income now if I overpay right if I pay more then I actually end up owing because I don't make that much money this year then that's good because it means I'll own it less next year but nevertheless the government still expects me to come up with this money even if I'm not making enough to frigging pay it they expect me to have this money I know that sounds really stupid because it is but that's what happens with self-employed people the government doesn't even give a shit how much you made in a quarter they just expect you to come up with an estimated payment really dumb all right eternal napalm shoot again said his Darksiders wanted to worth playing are they polished games Darksiders one was really good although it did have some bugs at launch at admittedly I really liked it it actually felt like Michael Moore gothic-style Zelda game and that's actually my best comparison we like almost a modernized kind of Gothic Zelda was some really interesting comment the combat mechanics were far better than zelda in my opinion Torx riders - I don't know I didn't like it as much as the first one I thought the first one actually was a better game I thought Darksiders - they did water it down a little bit and try to streamline it a little bit more to make it easier but at the same time I think a lot of the fun and challenge of the first game and a lot of the puzzle solving as well as the first game was kind of bypassed it made it more of an action II game I still think the games are good I do still think the games are good but um I don't know you know now you're talking you know games that I played a long-ass time ago versus modernized games too that may be another things will they see in the test of time that I can't answer that let's tell them I hear just a great session of Ultra Street Fighter 2 you seem to enjoy you have a great stream today thank you Atlas and I will be playing Ultra Street Fighter 2 tonight he also did another cheer and said do you think the next console generation will finally run 60 frames per second and four came natively nope I don't I do not if we still in this console generation can't even do 720p and 60 frames per second consistently because we don't it's either like you know 720p 60 frames or 1080p 30 frames and that even that's not consistent if we can't do that there's no way the game developers are gonna be able to master this new hardware that comes out for the next gen and be able to do full 60 frames for kick no way I don't believe it for a second alright I really doubt king of hypocrisy to the cheer and he says Phil I can understand why your haters go after you but why do they attack your girlfriend she's barely involved in your content she has done anything controversial or negative are they just jealous or something all um down is an interesting question king of hypocrisy and always is the first answer that any logical person would say is just that these people are not nice people they are gross people it's obvious that it's funny it's very funny and here's why I say this all of this this movement against me the negative movement against me on the Internet this is how you don't play and all that all hid under the guise or the cloak of real criticism against Phil and his content on YouTube we are strongly criticizing field we just want him to improve we don't feel that he deserves success because he doesn't put in time or effort or his content is too negative and bla bla bla bla bla that's what it will all hid under all right that's what it was okay um however if you guys have not noticed in the past year to two years in particular this last year when I adjusted hugely to what people wanted I became a live interactive streamer right and I do things a lot differently now all of a sudden all those valid criticisms of feels content seem to have gone away and now all it's become is ridiculously slanderous personal attacks that aren't true right take a look at some of the stuff two people have said about me I'm violent towards children or women I hire escorts I do all anyone's you actually look at the situation's you're like it's either completely factually wrong or they took something so ludicrously out of context to try to spin it to make me look bad and this is what people say about me now no one really is coming in and saying oh well you know Phil streams aren't good anymore it's not true no one says that everyone's like wow Phil streams have been more positive they're good so now we have to find something else to attack Phil for because we need to still put out our negative videos to get attention and really as I said earlier that's just the bottom line of it all the only reason they're doing it isn't to prove a point and isn't to get me to change and isn't to end me on the internet it's to get their cells attention because outside of making negative content about me they don't get any attention no one would give any fuck about any of these people if they didn't constantly make negative videos about me so that's why they do it all right now in particular all right when you're talking about my girlfriend CAC you're absolutely right since I even announced her existence you've seen her three pictures of her one of her putting up ornaments on my Christmas tree one of her when she first arrived here and one of her on Valentine's Day and then you've seen her in one video and that's it the others of the people have dug up our stuff from her past over a year ago you know she did a few videos on the internet game play video she did a couple streams on Twitch outside of that she had a Twitter she almost never yearly used and she hasn't used it for about a year and she's done with it she doesn't want to have any part to do with it cause she knows what would happen if she tried right she knew all this actively when she decided to enter a relationship with me hmm that she wouldn't be able to do certain things because of the negativity and shit that gets associated so she knew all right hmm so literally you know nothing about her bus except the few things that I've talked about in the one time she's been in video what else do you know nothing she you're absolutely right king of hypocrisy she said nothing controversial she said nothing inflammatory all right now I will make a direct comparison here my ex-girlfriend was the opposite my ex-girlfriend was very confrontational very controversial she would go on Twitter and argue with people and say things she would argue with people in videos you know what I mean like she had a very confrontational personality and I can understand that people had issues with her and I think for a lot of people all right sadly and I hate to say this as I've said this over the years they have this black and white mentality in their head so Phil used to go out with someone who was very confrontational and you know very kind of you know always kind of angry towards the internet so that means immediately if he if he was going out with someone new we have to treat her exactly the same way we have to hide her and attack her and make personal attacks and say nasty things about her because it's his Phil's girlfriend and the last girlfriend was one way so this new girlfriend is the same no that's not how life works it's not and that's fucked up people literally think in black and white like if it was one way it must always be this way so you know it's it's hilarious because people - until until up to the moment that I announced you know that I was going out with half people were still bringing up a situation in stream chat that happened in 2013 all right I mean how many years ago saying that my ex-girlfriend was ant was mad at people with the Kingdom Hearts stream and blah blah blah and they used that as a reason to like hate on me and hate on her it's ridiculous right what the fuck does that have to do with 2018 right see what I mean but that's how people are they never forget the past so I get the feeling there's a group of people who just they're so used to hating on me and hating on my girlfriend that even though there's a totally new beautiful loving person in my life who is very very very fucking different from my ex okay Kat is a totally different kind of person she doesn't want to be of internet drama she has a no desire to argue with people on the Internet she wants to just have a nice life with me hmm and you know gaming yes she likes gaming she just wants it to herself she doesn't want to be part of this big toxic environment on YouTube and twitch and she just wants to have fun with a life here with me and not be a part of my content all the time you know she doesn't she does not want to be in every video she does she does she want to be part of stuff occasionally absolutely she does every once in a while if I do a DSP tries it or if we're vlogging somewhere they were going somewhere new he never been before we're gonna do some travel vlogs some stuff like a holiday vlog stuff like that yes then she wants to be involved but she doesn't want to be in every playthrough you know this game a way out is coming out tomorrow and I asked her are you interested in doing this co-op game my way out with me she said no honestly I'm not very interested in it and you know I would rather wait if we're gonna do co-op together to play a game that we both are into hmm and we both can get into together and do a fun playthrough if not I want to just jump into any old game just for the sake of getting into any old game to be in your footage that's not how I am see what I mean how different that is mm-hmm so there you go it's not fair it's absolutely 100% unfair for people to be attacking cap she has nothing to do with my ex-girlfriend she has nothing to do with me or my content she's a completely separate person and entity and for people to be attacking her obviously personally attacking her physically attacking all these things that they saying about her nasty on the internet is ridiculous what the fuck you don't even know the girl and this is the thing honestly because people again for years well all the criticism against Phil is valid just look at it saying that his content is terrible none of this is about this anymore now you're literally making up nasty shit about me and my girl my current girlfriend well you know that has nothing to do with anything in the past you're literally making personal attacks against her you don't even know her so anything that exposes the toxic disgusting immoral people on the internet who are only doing it for personal gain they are not here to criticize anything that I'm doing they are not here to criticize anything does cuz she's done nothing they're literally only here to insult for the sake of insulting so you'll watch their drama videos and they get views on YouTube period and if you support those fucking people and watch their content you're part of the problem that's the bottom line you are cuz if you watch that shit that Phil alright you're the reason why YouTube sucks you're the reason why YouTube is how it is because you support garbage content and you should not do it and you shouldn't be here on stream and you shouldn't fuckin be doing any kinds of negative shit about if people you don't know it's fucked up it really is you know it's really fucked up mm-hmm so grow up alright so there you go um Atlas telamon cheered and said have you ever considered doing commentary on super turbo events like should evo in the stream a fresh perspective opposed to always hearing ultra David and James chant on what opportunity do you ever think that Evo staff would allow me to do commentary on super street fighter to care about well on what plate do you think that this would happen they have no desire to have me at their events and they have no desire for me to do commentary it's not gonna happen shout out to ulti sly Adam who did a hundred bit cheer Thank You Aussie sly JP also did twenty nine bit cheer said I'm only gonna say it once JP for mod super meatboy cheered and said it may not be mean nothing to you all but under it's another stupid lyric I'm not gonna read super meatboy did another cheer did the same thing I'm not gonna read it and the rapper named Drake cheered I said why do you delete the closed captions off of your pre streams do you hate deaf people what on earth are you talking about what are you talking about and the super meatboy did another cheer mmm-hmm and he's being a troll so he's banned from the stream chat for good goodbye idiot I knew it you know all his tears were just troll chairs anyway so get the fuck out okay so anything else hmm I think that's it for cheers subs tips shoutouts actually well there was only one sub and no tips but there were a lot of cheers to get through mm-hmm so that is it guys um thanks for being patient reminder a couple things reminder number one we are trying to hit subs goal this month so if you subscribe you'll be helping out with that obviously duh um oh my gosh use me and right now I think we're at 4:35 so thanks everyone who has solved number two if you want to help out with his upcoming tax situation which is going to be a big problem for me please either pledge to my patreon or get something for my teespring or if you want a life shout out during the stream tip me during the stream okay thanks everyone I appreciate it now let's get to the final session mm-hmm see if thieves let's see how this goes um like I said today I'm going to be hunting the Kraken um and maybe doing a little bit more side content so not really psychotic it's the only content in the game um mm-hmm and then just review it live I will be reviewing it live on today's stream okay all right thank you guys and it's time to begin C of T all right

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I genuinely feel bad for anyone who follows DSP religiously. Its the same thing every time.

Single player game:
Is it ezmode? He likes it.
Is it hard or competitive? *Insert most "believable" excuse for failure here x300*

Multiplayer game:
Phil will shit talk 24/7 about how he's the best along with his typical excuses for failure, unless someone can hear him. If they can hear him, he shuts the fuck up until they're out of range, then tries to roast them like he's an angsty middle schooler.

Seriously guys, it's gonna be the same thing every time. He hasn't changed. Ever.
 
We need you to get the subtitles for this LIVE REVIEW asap.

It's a mess.

7,689 word review:
alright ladies and gentlemen hello and welcome to my spoken word review of sea of Thieves this is a game that I just played three days straight live on stream on twitch TV upwards of ten or more hours of solid gameplay um I played it both with a full party twice so twice I had a full party of four people and then this last session I actually opted to play the game for about three hours solo so I could get the experience of what exactly is to actually be a solo sailor in this game and the differences between that and kind of pilot piloting your own ship um a lot of people I've been saying a lot of things about sea of Thieves first of all you may have noticed that CFCs for some reason has an incredibly large viewership on twitch TV right now like it's huge and all the big streamers are covering it and everything and some people are saying well that by default it must be a great game if all the big twitch streamers are playing it it must mean that it's an amazing game right um hmm on the flip side of that you may have heard some people coming out and saying some things about the game that don't seem to jive with that for example some people are calling this no-man's see if you're not aware that's a a jab at the game kind of referring to no man's sky from two years ago this game that was supposed to be revolutionary it would change the face of gaming you roam through this open-world universe an infinite amount of real randomly or you know what was it uh some kind of a formula that would generate random planets they would all be different you have infinite amounts of different wildlife and fauna and flora that you always encountered throughout the galaxy is gonna be the best game ever and when no man Skye released after everyone playing it for about ten hours we all said this is the most boring game we've ever played there's really no purpose to the game you can't build your own base you can't build your own ship the only purpose to currency is kind of maybe buying a spaceship that's a little bit faster there was no real endgame content there was no real goal to the game besides trying to reach the middle of the universe which by the way just reset the whole game completely every single space station looked exactly the same all the aliens acted and looked the same there was pretty much almost nothing to do in the game and after playing it for about ten hours everyone got bored with it the game got critically panned um and completely ripped apart now over the course of the past two years the developers of no man's sky have added in tons of new content age fixed the physics they made it so you could build your own bases but sadly ladies and gentlemen in the realm of gaming much like the realm of any kind of entertainment first impressions are everything and so the vast majority of people who played no man's sky at launch hated the game said we will never play this again and the game is still two years later despite all its improvements a running joke among the mainstream gaming community and so when Co Thieves was massively hyped for the past two plus years by Microsoft at microsoft exclusive IP a game that's gonna blow it out of the water you know it's gonna be so different I was cool pirate simulator where you can team up with your friends for player at full co-op you can you know read other ships you can fight skeleton ghosts you can you know capture different animals and trade them in from merchants guild groin and and credit within guilds and you can basically do the whole pirate simulator you could drink grog with your friends and you can dance and learn how to pirate a real pirate ship in a more immersive way than ever before in any other video game you know on paper on paper all that sounds good right but it's all in the execution and for four years rare has been working on sea of thieves Microsoft has heavily promoted and pushed it Microsoft this year in particular is acting like sea of thieves is their big exclusive Microsoft IP if you want to play the best Microsoft game of the year you've got to play CFT if you go to xbox.com right now it's the whole main page is a sea of thieves ad they're all over it they want you to play right but the question is does it live up to the height or is it another game like no man's sky where there was all this hype for two real plus years and when the even finally comes out and releases it fizzles all right well let's talk first of all no man's sky and its face value what is it it's a game where you're gonna be piloting a ship a lot so you better learn how to pirate pilot a pirate ship now unlike other games where you pilot a ship it's not easy in fact it's very complex it's the most complex sailing mechanics I've ever done keep in mind I haven't played many games with sailing in it but you have mechanic such as not only just turning there you know the rudder of the ship to go left-right north-south whatever but you've got a sail that you can furl to go full-speed go 1/2 so you go half speed or all the way up so basically you come to kind of a stop you can change the angle of the sail to aim with the wind to make your ship go faster or slower then you've got um the anchor which is equally important if the anchors down your ship will come to a dead stop you know pulling up the anchor allows it to start moving forward now the thing is it's pretty hard to do all these things by yourself as someone who did it both solo and with a crew I could fully tell you're doing it with a full crew is a lot easier you can have someone manning the sails and kind of figuring stuff out one person who is in charge of the anchor and the sails while the other person maybe is steering the ship and then you can actually have someone go up into the crow's nest of the mast and navigate with the aye-aye what are they called the spyglass and tell you what direction to go because the thing is when you're behind the wheel of the ship the masts and the sails actually block your vision so a lot of times you can't even see if you're going in the right direction or if you may be running into ground or a rock or something randomly out at sea you need actually someone kind of navigating for you so having a crew makes it incredibly simple however if you do play it by yourself it is possible but it is a lot more difficult to try to micromanage everything at once if your ship hits something you get a hole in the ship and now you need to use a plank which is one of the three items in the game that you can actually use for anything useful in order to repair the holes in your ship before your ship starts to fill with water if your ship starts to fill with water you can use a bale a bucket to bail out the water out of the ship okay much like in real life of course it's much simpler your whole bottom floor your ship could be filled with water take a bucket fill it up twice three times throw it out and your ships empty it's like wow those are the biggest buckets I've ever seen um but it's cool it's like micromanagement total micromanagement when you're on the seven seas it's not just about sailing from point A to point B it's about making sure your ship is in tip-top shape going the right direction don't run aground don't run into rocks or anything that may be in the way maybe stopping on a dime because you'll find a shipwreck and you want to jump out and dive in the shipwreck and search it for a loot or whatever um another mechanic is health health in the game you're gonna take damage from various things maybe people will attack you by shooting you with guns or cannonballs maybe you'll go to to to try to do question you get bit by a snake or you're fighting some Oh skeletons and they hit you or whatever or shoot you so you do have to maintain your health your health is maintained via eating bananas which is the second item in the game that does anything and then the third and final item that does anything is the cannonballs they're used only for shooting cannons so cannons are on your ship you can use those to attack other enemy ships or to attack things at ground like maybe you come up on island full of skeletons you just use cannonballs to snipe them from your ship or maybe you're coming up on a big skeleton stronghold fortress and they've got these turrets that are shooting at you you can shoot back and try to take them out with your own cannonballs okay so cannonballs are the third item that's it and I'm not exaggerating here there's only three items in the whole game right now that's it those if you go on to an island and there's fuel barrels or crates all you can find are bananas cannonballs and planks that's it there's nothing else I know that sounds ridiculous I'm not exaggerating that's the truth there's only three items that you can use for things in the game now there are other things you can do in the game questing so it's not just about going randomly from island to island and you know sailing around like a pirate there's three guilds in the game there's the gold hoarders guild the merchants guild and the Mystics guild each guild will assign you certain kinds of quests so you actually have something to do in this big open seafaring world the merchants guild is all about delivering goods they're gonna tell you go find some pigs or find some chickens put them in a crane oh you know this coop that we're gonna give you and then deliver it to another Island for money okay or for prestige among that guild while the Mystics field is all about combat they're gonna send you off on combat missions where you're gonna go to islands and fight skeletons hordes and hordes of skeletons of which there are different types so let me go into elaboration there's melee type skeletons where all you do is your wail on them and they die and all they do is try to hit you physically and they die their skeletons have gone so they try to shoot you from range and let me tell ya it's pretty annoying this game cuz a lot of the skeletons have almost psychic auto-aim where they made you know you're dodging you're trying to like sidestep or whatever strafe around them they still hit you anyway you have to pretty bum-rush them and kill them before they can hurt you or kill you or there are other more powered up kinda skeletons their skeletons are made of metal or covered in mud where you have to actually get a bucket full of water and throw it on them to weaken their bodies then you have to shoot them with a gun to kill them there's also the revenant style which you have to have a lantern you pull out of your inventory and lift it up and them and now they can be hurt if you don't do that they're invincible and then after you kill a certain amount of skeletons eventually a boss skeleton will show up which is really a more powerful version of a regular skeleton they do a little bit more damage and they have more health but in general combat in this game is incredibly simple all you do is take out your sword and go like this swing swing swing swing swing until everything is dead now you can block but block only works against melee attacks it doesn't work against ranged guns fire or you could do a charging attack by holding forward and pressing the trigger and or by pressing the button on PC depending on what you're playing on that attack moves you forward as a lunge and it does extra damage but it leaves you wide open afterward so if you're finding a group of skeletons and you do it you may kill one and the other three come will on you it doesn't work so really in essence the best melee attack is just mashing on trigger like an idiot it's pretty simplified there is ranged combat with the gun but you can only carry 5 ammo at a time so if yours being swarmed by skeletons you better make use of your ammo real quick or you better search around and see if there's like an ammo crate around that you can use because if there's not you're gonna run on an Ambo and you're gonna get screwed ok put the gun play fairly simple aim fire reload aim fire and yes there's a handgun a blunderbuss which is basically a shotgun and a sniper rifle yes they do have a slightly different use but it's not a wide variety of gameplay in essence you have three kinds of guns and a sword and that's all you get in the game ever ever you never get anything else no matter how many quests you do you always have the exact same loadout no matter what okay so that's the combat style mission so what you're supposed to do is go to an island full of skeletons chop them all when you finally kill the boss skeleton their skull will drop to the ground you pick it up and that's your token that you're gonna go redeem at the mystic guild to get money and also to get guild credit okay the third kind of mission is for the gold hoarders it's treasure hunting and what happens is they give you a treasure map you go out with your ship you have to find that that island that's on your treasure map among your big world map on your ship sail to it and then x marks the spot they'll be an X on your map you got to dig up the chest if you find the chest sometimes the skeletons will spawn so now you got to defend the chest by fighting the skeletons eventually you grab the chest you throw it on your bow can you open the chest for cool loot no of course not instead you just take that generic MPC you know generic generate a chest and take it to the NPC Gold hoarder and trade it in you guessed it for gold and guild credit and that's it so three kinds of quests in the game gather you know random items like blight chickens pigs or gunpowder barrels and bring them to the merchants fight skeletons get their severed heads bring them to the mystic or find buried treasure and bring it to the gold hoarder that is all there is to do and sea of thieves now there's a variation there's a variation where you're gonna every once in a while run up on what's called a stronghold which is an island completely inhabited by skeletons and above the island there is a mysterious and ominous skull cloud that's above it with glowing eyes if you're going to that the skeletons are gonna be on turrets and attacking you it's your job to attack the turrets storm the island and kill no exaggeration about twelve or more waves of repetitive skeletons once you get through that there's a final big boss fight if you survive that that boss will drop a token that will open a door when you open that door there's a ton of loot like ten chests to trade into the gold hoarder a bunch of skeletons skulls to trade in as well as maybe some trinkets or whatever to trade in so a lot of stuff to trade in for the end of that mission but outside of everything I've described the only other thing to do is the Kraken now I never found the Kraken in the game but apparently form people are saying you just sail out to an open area to see where there's not a lot and sometimes the water will start to get inky and darker then all of a sudden these Kraken tentacles will come up and try to attack your boat and it's your job to get on the cannons and shoot them if you shoot them successfully you beat the Kraken congratulations if you don't well then you die alright and that's it that's all of the content of sea of thieves I'm not lying I'm not exaggerating um everything that I'm saying right now is all that there is in the game okay now if you die one of two things happens if you physically die if you take so much damage from a skeleton or whatever you go to this afterlife bow it looks like a ghost ship just stand there for about thirty seconds then the door opens and then you just walk through it and you go back to wherever you were there's no detriment you don't lose gold you don't lose any items okay to dying kind of weird because for example give you a perfect example I was storming a stronghold with a team of people and when I stormed it we were kept dying but we just would run right back onto the island after we respawn and fought them again there was literally no detriment to ever dying so we're all kind of scratching our heads like why is there no penalty it sounds so easy what's the point of this mechanic of die and then respawning if nothing happens you know what I mean like it wasn't like oh you lose energy you lose money you lose peel credit no you're just this is respawn get right the fuck back in there it's almost like easy mode gameplay in my opinion now the one thing that can happen to you is if you have a ship loaded with loot maybe you found a bunch of chests a bunch of skulls you know a bunch of stuff and you then your ship sinks which can happen in multiple ways number one as I mentioned if you accidentally pilot your ship into a rocker and like run it aground you'll get holes in the ship you got a patch up and bail the water out okay number two someone could attack your ship someone could come in with their own ship with cannons attack it and sink your ship or number three and I learned this one the hard way your soup could sink during a storm because apparently during a heavy storm your storm your ship will just naturally start to fill with water and if you don't bail the water out your ship will just sink so that happens your ship will disappear and in place of your ship there will be a mermaid or mer man and if you touch them basically you'll spawn on your ship and your ship will have been teleported somewhere else the problem is all of the quest items you have you know animals or collectibles for the merchants chests for the gold hoarder or skulls from killing skeletons they disappear and you lost them all so you could spend five hours questing and then your ship sinks and you're screwed you lose everything you've done all your progress is gone ain't that a bitch right so you got to be very careful to never let your ship sink outside of everything I just mentioned what's the good and what's the bad alright the good stuff about the game graphics are ok they're kind of cartoony they went for almost an overwatch or Team Fortress 2 kind of look the water graphics are really good some of the best in a modern game and the sailing I would actually say the sailing itself when you're on the sea and you see the water going up and down and you're actually actively working with your crew telling them yelling out orders oh you batten down the hatches yeah you patch up the holes you pull up the sails you we got to go Dewey's you know and you're doing all this stuff a navigator see oh you know hook left there's a rock coming up you can really be an interesting premise for a cooperative game because I've never played a game where actually like sailing a ship felt like you were working as a team to actually sail the ship I mean all the other games that I play reasons like ice has Creed Black Flag it's just a one-man job it's super easy to do this game they purposely made it complicated to to really need teamwork all right um and I did like that I you to enjoy that um but I'll be real with you guys outside of everything else yeah it's just it's it's a it's a bore it's a grind as a lot of things in the game that are made to be tedious like for example you have a ship full of loot you have ten chests five skulls and some pigs you want to trade in right well can I just get a box and pour my skulls in or can I you know put all my chests in my inventory and just go to the vendor and just unload them all no you have to manually pick up each item walk it off your ship over the dock across the outpost to the real guy and hand it to you them why well it's 2018 so now instead of me just treating all the shit in that I did today right in my session of sea of Thieves I have to spend an extra 45 minutes going to and from the boat to and from the boat to and from the bow to fucking do it it's so stupid and just a bad game design and outdated game design quite frankly um when you are trying to capture pigs and other animals they require you to micromanage them meaning you have to actually feed them food or else they completely disappear from the crates do they die and says oh you messed up you didn't feed your animal so the animal is dead now no you'll go back and the crate is empty so what happened to me today I had a mission catch two pigs I had two pig pens grabbed one went off to the island caught it put it on my ship grab the second pig pen went out looking for the pay man I can't find this pig finally find it put it in the pen and go back to the pen to the ship the first Pig has completely vanished hmm so then I feed the second pig a banana hopefully it'll stay alive now I grabbed the first pig pen which is now empty go back to the island a rain storm starts alright let me hurry up I find the pig I grab it i go back my ship has sunk and that will happen within 15 minutes so within 15 minutes time a pig died of starvation and my ship sunk huh so the things that are in the game that actually you're challenging aren't challenging they're just tedious and annoying you know what I mean like oh no my ship sinks after five seconds of being in a full on rainstorm what and what planet is that happening my pig stars after two minutes of being on the ship alone huh so almost behooves you to have a team of people one person goes and catches the pigs one person feeds the pigs and one person's bailing the water out of the fucking ship or else everything goes to high holy hell and really wood it becomes is such a tedious micromanagement game that the things that were maybe intended to be challenging or fun just end up being annoying and that's not a good thing so now let's talk the actual mission types right are they fun sure the first two three times you do um yeah combat against the skeletons is pretty neat but once you've seen every skeleton type it's just the same thing over and over and as I said the combat is so incredibly simple this mash mash mash mash your trigger or fire you're going until you run out of ammo that's it I mean there's no complexity to the combat oh every once in a while I have to throw a bucket of water or pull out my lantern that's not complexity that's just you know making it slightly more annoying to kill each enemy but there's nothing to it you know Elder Scrolls games that came out 15 years ago have four more complex first-person combat than sea of thieves that's not a good thing that just shows that they knew what they were doing 15 years ago and the guys who made this game really didn't know what the hell was going on um collecting animals it's fun the first time than once you've done it it's boring same thing with the treasure chest oh I found a treasure chest I dug it up it's easy to do x marks the spot on your map it's not hard to locate these treasure chests and when you find them oh maybe I got to kill a skeleton or two it's very simple it's incredibly repetitive and in essence the core gameplay of sea of thieves is sailing your ship which could be fun for the first few times you do it and so you realize it's you know where the team is easy and and it's doing just repetitive content over and over and over and over and over and over and that's all they expect you to do now you may be simple wait a minute under any NPC ships out you can fight aren't there merchant ships you can take over and steal their loot that would be pretty fun um no none of that the entire sea is open to only you and other human control players so there's nothing and created in the game outside of the three guild missions and the strongholds that's it that's the entirety of the gameplay so then you might say oh well that okay well that would work at least if there's a lot of other humans right in the world at least you're constantly maybe trying to escape maybe they're trying to steal each other's loot that sound really good I played on Xbox one in the three days that I played over ten hours of gameplay alright i only saw about five ships total twice i engaged in combat both times I failed but five ships total in ten hours of gameplay today I played the game solo I did my own little solos they call it uh like a snoopers everywhere they call it some really weird name for this little little shit I didn't see a single other ship it was just a huge empty open sea now some people are oh baby it's that version on console is just screwed up cuz on PC I see people encountering other people I don't know I don't care I didn't make the game all I know is my experience I couldn't find anybody else 95% of the time there was no one else on the open sea so it was just me doing the repetitive grinding style content and that's all there was in the game so I played the game three sessions roughly ten hours of gameplay except for the crack in which I never happened to run into I literally saw everything in the game now for what I'm going to be told if you keep playing the game of doing the incredibly repetitive side content when you hit level 50 in every guild and to give you some perspective after ten hours I hit around level ten in every guild so think about that so at level 50 you probably got to play at what 50 60 70 hours of the same shit over and over apparently when you hit level 50 then you can unlock some higher level missions from what I understand they're the same again only they're slightly more challenging okay pretty stupid now you might say well wait a minute then what is the goal of the game what is the end goal what are you doing the game what is the goal of the game just to do repetitive grinding cuz the goal do I say well the gold in the you earn gold for these missions right what do you do with the gold well you can buy and I'm not exaggerating here slightly different looking items or you can buy equipment for your body too like clothing and stuff to make you look different so you can buy a fancy eyepatch a nice coat a blunderbuss that looks slightly different but actually doesn't change the damage or anything that it does it's just a slightly different looking blunderbuss it's all cosmetic the only thing you can use go for in this game is cosmetic purposes so the whole point of the game is to bore yourself with boring repetitive content to buy cosmetic things for your ship and for your body that's it there's no end game I'll see you Yves there's no point to even doing it now you might say we'll wait a minute Phil wait a minute what about if you play it with friends perhaps maybe even if there's no story there's no endgame goal maybe it's just a lot of fun to play it with your friends I'll tell ya the two days did I did do co-op it was pretty fun but that's because in the two days that I played the game I was still just doing the three kinds of missions and I took over a stronghold and I was basically seeing all the stuff for the first time out by the end of my second session I had seen every kind of mission and taking over a stronghold the only thing left was the Kraken so outside of that there was nothing else to do in the game now maybe you're the kind of person who likes to buy a game like destiny or game like the division or Ghost Recon wildlands and what you like to do is team up with three other people and for you the entertainment factor of the game isn't really the core game but just being able to hang out with your friends in a game and have fun and shoot the shit you know I have this social aspect of the game if that's the case then maybe you'll like sea of Thieves all right maybe maybe that's your kind of game but for the common gamer who's looking for content that's going to be riveting oh yeah it's going to hook you want you to keep playing for endgame content there's none there is nothing in sea of Thieves the whole game is the same three missions strongholds and the Kraken that's it once you've seen it for playing for ten hours you've seen the entirety of the game except for superficial items you can buy for yourself period there's nothing else and you know oh well the game's just launched maybe the game devs will add additional content sure they will maybe the game devs rare will add tons new content to the game over time and make it robust and great right now at launch the game is incredibly bare-bones the game honestly quite frankly feels like an early access game it feels like this was an idea that they wanted to throw out to the public and say what do you think can you give us suggestions for improvement things we can add to the game and it's not it's a full-on retail game that their papers charging $60 for when it feels like a completely unfinished early access kind of a game just some examples minor things that could make the game better when you're trading in your missions be able to trade in multiple ones at once rather than go back and forth back and forth back and forth have some kind of an element of risk to dying in the game if you die there's actually consequences right now something in the game that's like on patrol the bottom line is pirates there's the name of the game sea of thieves cuz you're pirates right you steal stuff what are you stealing sea of thieves well buried treasure you're not technically stealing it just is there to kill skeletons and take their skulls you'd steal anything there Oh a wild animals are wild you're not even stealing anything in the fucking game the whole name of the game sea of thieves has nothing to do with the actual game you're not thieving anything the things you're doing are just repetitive and boring content that would be side content in any other game that's what you're doing there's no patrol of police out there making sure you're not doing these things you know what I mean imagine if there was like a British patrol ship that went through the world and you had to avoid it or fight it and if you have fought it you earn tons of money and lots of loot or something like that you don't even feel like an outlaw in this game it feels like you're perfectly fine just doing the shit that you're doing because there's no element of risk just go out there do whatever the fuck you want because it's the open seas and no one's out there to stop you now again if this sea were massively populated with a ridiculous amount of humans okay sea of Thieves you're you want to do the missions and hurry trade in your shit cause there's always someone who's trying to attack you and steal your mission rewards right all right but that's not the experience I had three days played on Xbox one only found five fucking people in the entire world that's not my fault that's shame on rare for releasing a game in that state and some people have told me well I played the beta in the beta it was much better that's nice that's the beta the beta was free you know people paid to play this game and got a worse experience that's their fault rares fall not the consumer the consumer should get an inferior version of the product nor the consumer have to sit around for four months until the server's finally solidify and they add more content and they make it work properly how it's supposed to at its core and in its present state sea of thieves is incredibly empty incredibly boring I hate to say this folks but this is true sea of thieves has less content than no man's sky at launch it's true no me and sky even as bare-bones as no man's sky was had core elements like there was a plot line where you would go to these hubs remember you'd find these mysterious eyeball shaped things in space and you would go from one to one they would lead you through the galaxy until finally you would get to like the center of the universe there was like a goal there was something to aspire to and do in the game soon thieves doesn't even have that it's literally just a busy work a game waste your time until the game devs finally decide to put something in the game worth doing it's just waste your time with friends no me and Skye had more and was more robust of a game at launches then this game is so is it no man see no it's actually worse it's actually a worse game than no man's sky was at launch it actually is the only thing the game guys going for is the pretty water visuals that's about it you know after the initial you know interest in a piloting a ship for real with a team of people for the first time and after that wears off and you've done every mission sniper type once that's it $60 for that is incredible now here's the good news folks alright here's the good news okay if you have never become a member of the Microsoft game pass yet there's a 14-day free trial so what you can do this is actually what I did I joined the free trial 14 days I got no uh I almost said no man's sky I got sea of thieves for free by having this game pass I downloaded on my xbox one played it for three days I said I don't want to play this game anymore I've seen everything in three sessions and I went on xbox comm and I cancelled the resource group so I'm not gonna ever get charged for Microsoft game pass it'll expire after 14 days and I paid zero dollars to play sea of thieves so if you absolutely must experience sea of thieves right now at launch and you must be a part of this this thing going on on Twitch it's so huge on Twitch everyone's playing I got to be a part of it sign up for Microsoft game pass play it for free cancel the subscription play it for you know for three days get rid of it because that's what I did and that's the only thing I can recommend I would never recommend that you would buy this game at this point I wouldn't even recommend it as a rental there's too little to do you could spend five dollars on a game rental elsewhere on another game and get way more content out of me there's there's no reason to play this game whatsoever at Lau at launch it's pathetic and if they ever improve it over time like they did with no man's sky okay then maybe I could you know with an honest heart kind of go back and say okay now it's worth it but right now don't play the game or if you absolutely must play it get it for free with Microsoft game pass don't spend a single dime on sea of Thieves it is the by far the most overhyped game I've played since destiny 2 and by far the most disappointing game that I played in years because the Microsoft had this interesting premise actual cooperative gameplay to be a pirate and they had all this potential they could have had all these different kinds of enemies and missions there could have been like I said risk reward there could have been patrols you have to take out NPCs it could have been so good and instead they took the easy way out let's make a bare-bones game at launch just see if people will buy it and if they you will add content afterward but if not open no skin off our back because we gave you a bare-bones game and people ran out and bought it for 60 bucks is this what modern gaming has become we buy early access versions of games for $60 and then if the game does well then they'll put more effort into it I mean this is ridiculous no man sky and now see of these are two of exactly the same scenario I'm so happy I did not pay for this game you have no idea I would be furious if I had told you guys I paid $60 for this game in order to play it for the amount that I got out of it so ladies and gentlemen what's my review score of no man's sky well I said no man's sky again see what I mean I'm actually associating the two games directly and I had so much I can't even you say the right name of the game what is my review score for sea of thieves well technically sea of thieves is functional everything that they intend to work in the game does work however its bare-bones you run out of content in ten hours or less coop is pretty much required just playing the game solo is incredibly tedious and even worse than playing it with a team um right now some of the things are just designed so annoyingly like having to manually bring every quest reward item into the docks just poorly in a poorly made poorly designed and not streamlined or implemented well at all again it feels like an early access game does it work yes is it fun no is it worth playing for more than a few hours no is it worth paying any money for No so with one yes and three knows in good conscience the most I can give no man's sky is a four out of ten four out of fucking ten this game stinks it's one of the most overhyped over you know talked about games everyone playing on Twitch simply because of the height the game is terrible do not play this fucking game unless you get it for free with Xbox game pass I might recommend if you don't have a team of people to play with don't play it at all it's not even worth wasting the Xbox game pass save that for later and get another game for free don't even bother playing this freaking game it's complete nonentity if they don't improve it within the next two or three months this will be a game you will not be able to find anyone in the game anymore cuz no one's gonna keep playing there's nothing to do in the game the first week or two are ok after that what am I supposed to do with this fucking game right 4 out of 10 Co T's a huge disappointment for me the biggest disappointment so far in a while in a couple years the most overhyped the game by far in a long time don't play it it's a piece of crap alright folks that is my review of sea of thieves I hope you liked it very honest literally after just finishing playing it and hopefully now let's let you know whether you should waste your time on this game or not peace out everyone thanks for watching see you later

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LMAO he didnt complete shit..... those 3 trade companies change completely once you get to level 25-30 with them.... even the basic ones he is at he only did 10 or so total quests with each one... the early ones are a bit repetitive but he didnt even come close to playing enough to see what the game has to offer.... maybe has more time for more boring ass pubg streams again

he didnt even visit 15% of the map and never even did a raid on a skull island camp... he also NEVER even tried to engage in any of the PvP.. that is some of the best parts boarding an enemy ship trying to steal their loot. He didnt even learn any of the game mechanics even in the simple fighting like a charge attack and blocking

he still also fails to get it was made in specific for a group of actual FRIENDS to play with each other. have some laughs, fuck around, explore, try to rob other ships, do a bunch of diff things. but he cant really experience that cause he has no real friends all he has every session is a new group of random people (whichever ones cheered highest that day). so there was no group sense of accomplishment.
 
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Shit DSP should become a fucking motivational speaker or something:
"The KEY to SUCCESS in LIFE is to HOLD ON to ALL of the BAD THINGS that PEEPUL have UNFAIRLY done to YOU. MAKE sure you DEDICATE your entire LIFE based upon these UNFAIR THINGS! I personally can GUARANTEE that this will work, in as little as a TEN YEAR LEGACY you too can have a FAILING PATREON, DWINDLING TWITCH stream and a SINKING YouTube channel!"

Looks like it even motivated him to get rid of the snorts.
 
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Aside from dismissing it as 'indie', I remember him saying that it's 4 years of development time equates it to having been in 'development hell'. So he had a couple of excuses he threw out there.

I just burst out laughing as I read that. I know I will get shit on for this, but this is a rare instance where I miss the SoK because you know that Fred would pull a game dev out of no where to join the podcast and say, "Hey, listen to this and tell me what you think."
 
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Something just changed my mind about the whole DSP shenanigans.
I recently came across "Wings of Redemption".

Him and DSP are exactly the same. Maybe I got used to DSP's ways because we've known him for so many years. And so what he says and how he acts doesn't have as big of an impact.....

But when you see someone else do the same shit.... aka WingsofRedemption. Begging, banning everyone, getting into tantrums it makes you think ....and then you feel quite sad for them.

It's quite funny. DSP sits on this high horse.. He tries to set this "schedule" and acts professional and makes out he treats it like a business. But then when you see wingsofredemption, he just loathes around like a slob, whines and randomly streams. Hoping people throw money at him. In reality they're exactly the same.

It really got to me that the reality is DSP is just a fat slob who sits inside a bedroom playing video games all day. That's all there is to it.

I feel kinda sad for this DSP fellow.
Then you see Rambo and his old friends having great fun. And DSP has blown everything. ANd he's not even sorry.


I can't stand following this fat, lazy gout ridden asshole anymore. And I don't think he deserves any attention at all tbh. He's just a $%%&.


You need more views.....#muhtaxes

DSP you;re a sad little man. I hope you enjoy being lonely forever.
 
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Something just changed my mind about the whole DSP shenanigans.
I recently came across "Wings of Redemption".

Him and DSP are exactly the same. Maybe I got used to DSP's ways because we've known him for so many years. And so what he says and how he acts doesn't have as big of an impact.....

But when you see someone else do the same shit.... aka WingsofRedemption. Begging, banning everyone, getting into tantrums it makes you think ....and then you feel quite sad for them.

It's quite funny. DSP sits on this high horse.. He tries to set this "schedule" and acts professional and makes out he treats it like a business. But then when you see wingsofredemption, he just loathes around like a slob, whines and randomly streams. Hoping people throw money at him. In reality they're exactly the same.

It really got to me that the reality is DSP is just a fat slob who sits inside a bedroom playing video games all day. That's all there is to it.

I feel kinda sad for this DSP fellow.
Then you see Rambo and his old friends having great fun. And DSP has blown everything. ANd he's not even sorry.


I can't stand following this fat, lazy gout ridden asshole anymore. And I don't think he deserves any attention at all tbh. He's just a $%%&.

DSP you;re a sad little man. I hope you enjoy being lonely forever.
04.jpg

That could have been Phil on the right next to Rambo if he hadn't let all those initial views gone to his head!

Fun to know that both Howard and Rambo have been to Japan atleast once and Phil sits there: "Places i want to visit? Japan..."
 
Something just changed my mind about the whole DSP shenanigans.
I recently came across "Wings of Redemption".

Him and DSP are exactly the same. Maybe I got used to DSP's ways because we've known him for so many years. And so what he says and how he acts doesn't have as big of an impact.....

But when you see someone else do the same shit.... aka WingsofRedemption. Begging, banning everyone, getting into tantrums it makes you think ....and then you feel quite sad for them.

It's quite funny. DSP sits on this high horse.. He tries to set this "schedule" and acts professional and makes out he treats it like a business. But then when you see wingsofredemption, he just loathes around like a slob, whines and randomly streams. Hoping people throw money at him. In reality they're exactly the same.

It really got to me that the reality is DSP is just a fat slob who sits inside a bedroom playing video games all day. That's all there is to it.

I feel kinda sad for this DSP fellow.
Then you see Rambo and his old friends having great fun. And DSP has blown everything. ANd he's not even sorry.


I can't stand following this fat, lazy gout ridden asshole anymore. And I don't think he deserves any attention at all tbh. He's just a $%%&.

DSP you;re a sad little man. I hope you enjoy being lonely forever.

There is one major difference between DSP and Tits of Depression. Wings here will openly admit he is only streaming because he needs subscribers and will tell people in his lobby not to chat with him because he does not care. Philbert is different, he'll go on and on about positivity and interaction and hanging out with peepul in stream chat m'kay. The facade never slips, he'll never just straight up say it's about the money. It's heavily implied, of course. HINT HINT #SaveTheHouse

Bonus round: similarly to DSP and Rambo's The Show, Wings was kicked off/alienated from another somewhat successful web series, PKA with Woodysgamertag and others. It's oddly karmic that both would have a similar situation, former friends who are making a living off of web series' and social interaction, while DSP and Wings are stuck in their offices/bedroom playing games they hate.
 
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