LGBT 4/10 - Chris Comes out as Bisexual

[Rekkington]

The Chris Chan Saga is so staggering in its complexity and scope. Every lolcow since him has just been chasing the dragon. For a time I thought it could be Brianna Wu but... No. No, that creature would not start a fight in Gamestop over Sonic the Hedgehog's arm color. Ahuviya would not wear a Sonichu medallion.

There's nothing more perfect than this, and also the first lolcow to really lean into his "celebrity," but not become wiser as a result. I mean some people learn to own it, but he owns it and finds a way to keep going weirder. He's some extreme autism zord.

Like if someone wrote Chris as a character into a script the writer would be blacklisted for being a Nazi sympathizer. Of all his insane personal arcs, this one from misogynistic virgin heterosexual stalker to progressive trans virgin bisexual is beyond belief. I wish I could be someone who discovered this for the first time.

 

[QWaffen]

The Chris Chan Saga is so fucking staggering in its complexity and scope. Every lolcow since him has just been chasing the dragon.

There's nothing more perfect than this, and also the first lolcow to really lean into his "celebrity," but not become wiser as a result. I mean some people learn to own it, but he owns it and finds a way to keep going weirder. He's some extreme autism zord.

Like if someone wrote Chris as a character into a script the writer would be blacklisted for being a Nazi sympathizer. Of all his insane personal arcs, this one from misogynistic virgin heterosexual stalker to progressive trans virgin bisexual is beyond belief. I wish I could be someone who discovered this for the first time.

I wonder if Hollywood will ever pick up on this, probably some good award bait

 

[Rekkington]

I wonder if Hollywood will ever pick up on this, probably some good award bait

The only way to make this happen is to cast Chris in a negative light and I don't even think Silence of the Lambs could be made these days.

 

[Jack Awful]

1. I wonder if Hollywood will ever pick up on this, probably some good award bait

If done well it could be an amazing biopic, but no major studio would finance a movie about an autistic manchild who was repeatedly tricked into shoving things up his ass by random people pretending to be girls online.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

The only way to make this happen is to cast Chris in a negative light and I don't even think Silence of the Lambs could be made these days.

Silence Of The Lambs 2: Hello, Ivy

 

[QWaffen]

The only way to make this happen is to cast Chris in a negative light and I don't even think Silence of the Lambs could be made these days.

I'm thinking more of a Radio / There's something about Kevin type mix

If done well it could be an amazing biopic, but no major studio would finance a movie about an autistic manchild who was repeatedly tricked into shoving things up his ass by random people pretending to be girls online.

I'd honestly watch it, similar to how the Disaster Artist looked at the Room

 

[Nikachu]

You guys are rétarded if you think Chris doesn’t know what being bisexual means.

I totally agree. Bisexuality isn't a hard concept to grasp at all. You like both men and women. Even an 8 year old can understand this. I'm sure he has known of this term for many years now. That said, he probably doesn't believe that FTM trans are genuinely male (with good reason) but has to publicly accept them in order to further his current agenda. I will be very surprised to hear he ditched his noviophobia to get with a genuine male/female couple (considering this isn't the work of trolls).

The only way to make this happen is to cast Chris in a negative light and I don't even think Silence of the Lambs could be made these days.

Yeah, the LGBTWHATEVER'S would have a meltdown if that happened. Speaking of horror films, I had a nightmare last summer that reminded me of that scene in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre where Leatherface grabs the first victim around the waist and drags her into the house through the front door. In my dream I was suddenly in Chris' old room in the basement hanging out for some reason. I decided it was time to go and stood up to leave when Chris yelled out "NOOOOOO" and grabbed me by the waist and hung on, pulling me down and I was fighting my way out of his room. I was screaming at the top of my lungs hoping someone would hear and help me. I dragged him out into a hallway where I saw Bob, who did nothing. I had the distinct feeling that his intention was to rape me. Then I woke up. It was so fuckin scary I can't even describe how real it felt. :shudder:

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

An STD from a guy who has only had sex twice? Chris would be the safest cleanest boipussy in existence. I'm straight and I'd hit that shit prison-style.

You're forgetting that big ol Whopporito mudslide! There isn't a faster way to get E. Coli or "Sam and Ellen" than stimulating Pristine Christine's Chilli ring.

 

[The Fifth Waltz]

Best birthday present anyone could ask for, usually anyone who are huge homophobes are 99% likely to be gay.

 

[Anonimo]

It’s strange...the way Chris went on about how “da homos” were evil in days past, the obvious conclusion that I and many others came to was that he was homosexual himself.

Then came the Tomgirl revelations, the “un-clit”, supporting “L, B, and T, but not G”, and then finally making the leap into becoming “Chris-Tran”. I’ve dropped off from Chris a lot longer than I thought.

 

[Hellbound Hellhound]

If done well it could be an amazing biopic, but no major studio would finance a movie about an autistic manchild who was repeatedly tricked into shoving things up his ass by random people pretending to be girls online.

The only way I could see a movie/biopic about Chris working is if they managed to cast Chris as himself.

 

[Slowinthemind]

Gays tend to have hygiene standards that chris cannot meet, he just wants to sell that shitty $1lesbian flag for 100.

 

[QWaffen]

I only way I could see a movie/biopic about Chris working is if they managed to cast Chris as himself.

I'm thinking Seth Rogan

 

[Andre The Roboto]

Does that mean he wants the D U C K?

 

[asperhes]

In September 2014, a few weeks after he came out, he got the un-clit. He told his friend Rebeckah, "I Just got pierced In my taint about where my clit would be had I been born female! She is really lucky now, because as a Bisexual, I can pleasure her both ways." Rebeckah responded, "You're bisexual now? I thought you didn't like gay men? Not that I have a problem with this, I think it's great!" Chris predictably replied, "WRONG!!! WRONG!!! I am NOT Bisexual; my girlfriend is the Bi. I am a Lesbian and a Transgender: I AM TOTALLY INTO WOMEN!!!"

So what does this mean? First, he's previously been schooled about what a bisexual is. Second, he originally thought it meant intersex. So either A) he's forgotten what it meant and has reverted to his original definition of wanting both tribbing and dick-in-vag sex; or B) he remembers what it means and he wants to fuck dudes now.

 

[sbm1990]

It honestly doesn't matter if Chris suddenly realized he fancies both china and pickles.
He's not getting laid regardless unless he's willing to pay up for it.

At least not with someone who he would find attractive anyway.

Though, I bet there are plenty of desperate guys out there who legit want to fuck Chris, either because they legit find him attractive (possibly due to low-standards, being desperate, they want a guy who they can control and dominate, etc.), or more exceptionally, because they want the fame of being able to say that they fucked CWC, in an exceptional attempt to become a "famous" "Christorical Figure".

 

[DecrepitSimonla]

I'm not really suprised. I always thought Chris was one of those guys who was homophobic because they couldn't cope with their sexuality.

 

[Taint_fairy]

Not suprising that someone with such a diluted mind as CWC would steep down even further into his own "cirkus life style"...
He'll just be straigt again after Bubba wrecks his virgin taint ;D

 

[littleomega]

This raises some new points regarding Chris's current "sweethearts", mainly that one or more of them is male.
I personally believe this strengthens a hunch I've had for a while, namely that this is one of many incidents in which Chris mistakes compassion and people acting in a friendly/charismatic way for someone taking a romantic interest in him, case in point: the Megan saga, in which he mistook Megan's friendship for romantic interest.
I'd personally wager this saga might last a while, as I've observed Chris jumping to increasingly desperate tactics in order to loose his virginity.
Though, TBH I believe this will be the last saga before Chris becomes homeless or dies.

 

[Philosophy Phil]

All please rise for the new national anthem of Cwcville.