Operation Tupacalypse Operation Tupacalypse General Thread / Archive Thread

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That's one of those things that just doesn't add up about this whole situation for me, like Eli's parents' lack of reaction to their son being missing overseas for over a month, and the fact that - unless he failed out/decided not to return/whatever - the Fall Semester at whatever college accepted Agent Double-Oh-420 will start soon.

Two possibilities occur to me:

1 - Eli's parent(s) simply don't care. So long as their sped offspring doesn't bring the wrath of the society down on their heads, they're content to let the bigoted thc-addled dimwit do whatever he pleases.

or

B - Eli's parent(s) have taken him to Israel before, so their not especially worried about their precious snowflake spending his summer break there.

Of course the case could be entirely different. Eli could be a robot or a dog or something. Who knows?
 
Two possibilities occur to me:

1 - Eli's parent(s) simply don't care. So long as their sped offspring doesn't bring the wrath of the society down on their heads, they're content to let the bigoted thc-addled dimwit do whatever he pleases.

or

B - Eli's parent(s) have taken him to Israel before, so their not especially worried about their precious snowflake spending his summer break there.

Of course the case could be entirely different. Eli could be a robot or a dog or something. Who knows?
I would pay so much money to watch a Hollywood Blockbuster about a robot stoner on a mission to kill the prime minister of Israel and rescue Tupac Shakur.
 
Jesus Christ what kind of pure hearted qt virgin maiden grill are you. I feel like a satanist being blinded by Mother Theresa's holy light for shits sake every time you talk

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I did another search for missing youths in MA and all I could find in the news is a girl who is believed to have run away. I think Eli's parents know he's in Isreal and filing a missing person's report would be pointless. If anything, they are probably frantic trying to reach him over there.
 
Who is sure that Eli wants to come back? He's playing runescape for hours on end, gives Jace some shitty intel once in a while, gets a tugboat sent his way, and is probably trying (and failing) to hit on to Natalie Portman lookalikes. He's getting paid without having to work a real job. He probaly finally found a reliable weed hookup. Of course, when winter rolls around and there's no more garage sales for Tyce to steal from in order to fund this mission things may take a turn for the worse.
 
Who is sure that Eli wants to come back? He's playing runescape for hours on end, gives Jace some shitty intel once in a while, gets a tugboat sent his way, and is probably trying (and failing) to hit on to Natalie Portman lookalikes. He's getting paid without having to work a real job. He probaly finally found a reliable weed hookup. Of course, when winter rolls around and there's no more garage sales for Tyce to steal from in order to fund this mission things may take a turn for the worse.
Now if it weren't for all those bothersome missile strikes outside his hostel.
 
The most likely (and least lulzy) conclusion:

Eli comes back empty-handed, for obvious reasons. Jace (who won't get evidence of al-Gamerfood) and Eli (who won't get his XBONE) will be angry with one another, and might even realize they were dead wrong. Rather than raging on the internet, they agree to claim Eli rescued Tupac to avoid looking foolish.

Since Tupac is clearly absent, they'll claim Tupac told Eli he must go back into hiding, under even deeper cover, to work on his new album, avoid his rap rivals, and (of course) al-Gamerfood. As this was a secret mission, they wouldn't have photographic evidence of Tupac (no time for selfies when you're parkouring) or they have evidence, but it's top-secret and you don't have clearance!

Being lolcows, they'll think we're dumb enough to fall for this explanation. Tyce will blab, anyway.
 
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