Containment Random Chris Updates

[Mariposa Electrique]

View attachment 457163

Translation: We want more, preferably money!

 

[Pony Horn]

At this point Chris should make a comic called She-male Mall. "Her" and a bunch of other chicks with dicks could spend 97 pages of every issue sitting at the mall's food court, talking in non-sequiturs. Then in the last 3 pages some jerkops could hassle them until there's a big fight and the she-males kick their asses.

$20 an issue. No haggle!

 

[Okkervils]

Translation: We want more, preferably money!

I'm not going to knock anyone for sending gift cards that can only be used at a grocery store... but yeah, hopefully that's the extent of it. I wonder if he and Barb could qualify for foodstamps. Even if that's not possible with the income they receive, I'm sure they could find a food bank or something similar...

At this point Chris should make a comic called She-male Mall. "Her" and a bunch of other chicks with dicks could spend 97 pages of every issue sitting at the mall's food court, talking in non-sequiturs. Then in the last 3 pages some jerkops could hassle them until there's a big fight and the she-males kick their asses.

I would read the shit out of that.

 

[Mason Verger]

View attachment 457163

Haha I'd love if you go on his eBay right now and it list:
"$60 Food lion gift card! Buy now! Only $140! Please, Need Money For Food!"

 

[The American Hedgehog]

New Patreon Page.

 

[Pvt. Real G]

https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/999488891953414145

Chris is getting picky when he has no food....

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Chris should act as an Indian man's hand because he's full of shit.

 

[Mason Verger]

https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/999488891953414145

Chris is getting picky when he has no food....

You know he'd love a pizza too, he just can't resist a chance to put on airs over twitter. While begging.

 

[Marvin]

I was gonna answer everyone who answered my last post but it became a text wall so I thought I'd save everyone some scrolling.

There's two things we're pretty certain of, or that I'm pretty certain of. One is that Chris is gonna have nothing when Barb's estate is settled.

The other is that Chris will most likely have to file for bankruptcy because he won't make it if he has a couple hundred dollers a month in credit card and loan bills.

But the news from @Marvin that Chris pays 50% of the expenses at 14BC is the best CWC news I've heard in awhile (if I understood him correctly). Chris might blow it after Barb dies but he's at least showing a sign of responsibility.

I don't know what the specific balance is or what the relationship is. However, Chris pays a substantial chunk. It's only limited by Barb's mercy or lack-of-need. He also has regularly timed obligations of his own (outside of what he has to deliver to Barb each month) that he mostly pays on time. The worst he gets is cranky collection letters that go away when he resentfully sends a payment.

Chris' budgeting got established early on after Bob died (like 6.5 years ago). Chris might've had a shitty year immediately after Bob died, as he got used to having to deliver money to pay debts on a schedule. But he adapted. At any given time in the month, Chris has a fuzzy idea of how much he's got in his bank account, how much he needs to pay off in bills by the end of the month, and thus how much is left to splurge on toys. He doesn't need Barb to remind him. But he might stress sigh at the occasional collection letter in the mail.

Chris isn't good with finances, but he's not disastrously bad. He's... trashy. That's about the extent of it.

The thing that many cwc watchers don't realize, is that there are millions of Americans who live like this. Whether they're hood rats or trailer park rednecks. There's a shitload of them.

They work minimum wage jobs, receive government benefits, and occasionally bolster their funds (which quickly get spent on luxury items like flat screen tvs, which look nice in their double wide trailer) with random scams.

These people don't go homeless. Honestly, what socialists don't realize, is that life is really easy in the US. I mean, it's not the whole picture. There's a lot of analysis you can do, and it's not evenly distributed across the country. But honestly, you can just give up on any dreams you have in life, and still live with solid creature comforts. A case of beer every few weeks, a smartphone, fast internet, a flat screen tv. Like, if you have no realistic ambitions in life (like rednecks like fatty), what else could you ask for?

Millions of people do it.

Chris pays his bills on time (like 95% of the time, and then when they complain, he follows up), and that's more responsible than most people on here expect from him. I think people's expectations are colored by stereotypes that tell them that being poor as an American must be horribly intolerable, and the cwcki (and our documentation of chris' fuckups, but not his meager successes) marketing Chris as constantly on the brink of financial failure. Neither of which are true.

Really, the recent updates about Chris are only because I think a cult has latched onto Chris. Or a MLM scam or something equally retarded. Maybe someone traded him magic beans for 14BC's deed. (Like, I legit think something like that might've happened.)

If you just left Chris alone, he'd be like a typical trailer park moron. Meh.

He'd pay his bills, which is more than people expect from him. But I think kiwis have unrealistic viewpoints of both Chris and what paying bills involves.

You know he'd love a pizza too, he just can't resist a chance to put on airs over twitter. While begging.

So one thing I can say is that Chris has been focusing on healthy eating autistically, so I don't think he's lying. And even if you sent him a pizza, I think he'd bitch at it, and then (justifiably) say he's going to eat it anyway.

Like if he's legit poor, he'd eat food if you sent it to him. And then he'd spergily bitch about it, because he has no social skills. Like it'd be a backhanded compliment like "hm, yeh, we are really grateful for your pizza, tanks! BUT I WOULD PREFER HEALTHY VEGETABLES NEXT TIME THANK YOU PLEASE"

 

[Mason Verger]

So one thing I can say is that Chris has been focusing on healthy eating autistically, so I don't think he's lying. And even if you sent him a pizza, I think he'd bitch at it, and then (justifiably) say he's going to eat it anyway.

Like if he's legit poor, he'd eat food if you sent it to him. And then he'd spergily bitch about it, because he has no social skills. Like it'd be a backhanded compliment like "hm, yeh, we are really grateful for your pizza, tanks! BUT I WOULD PREFER HEALTHY VEGETABLES NEXT TIME THANK YOU PLEASE"

Jesus Christ, this reminds me of when gwenyth Paltrow tried to prove a point that poor people could eat healthy, went on a food stamp budget for a week and bought 4 avacodos and a bag of baby greens.

Commendable if he's trying, but he's going to blow through his charity food in two days.

 

[Maxliam]

I don't know what the specific balance is or what the relationship is. However, Chris pays a substantial chunk. It's only limited by Barb's mercy or lack-of-need. He also has regularly timed obligations of his own (outside of what he has to deliver to Barb each month) that he mostly pays on time. The worst he gets is cranky collection letters that go away when he resentfully sends a payment.

Chris' budgeting got established early on after Bob died (like 6.5 years ago). Chris might've had a shitty year immediately after Bob died, as he got used to having to deliver money to pay debts on a schedule. But he adapted. At any given time in the month, Chris has a fuzzy idea of how much he's got in his bank account, how much he needs to pay off in bills by the end of the month, and thus how much is left to splurge on toys. He doesn't need Barb to remind him. But he might stress sigh at the occasional collection letter in the mail.

Chris isn't good with finances, but he's not disastrously bad. He's... trashy. That's about the extent of it.

The thing that many cwc watchers don't realize, is that there are millions of Americans who live like this. Whether they're hood rats or trailer park rednecks. There's a shitload of them.

They work minimum wage jobs, receive government benefits, and occasionally bolster their funds (which quickly get spent on luxury items like flat screen tvs, which look nice in their double wide trailer) with random scams.

These people don't go homeless. Honestly, what socialists don't realize, is that life is really easy in the US. I mean, it's not the whole picture. There's a lot of analysis you can do, and it's not evenly distributed across the country. But honestly, you can just give up on any dreams you have in life, and still live with solid creature comforts. A case of beer every few weeks, a smartphone, fast internet, a flat screen tv. Like, if you have no realistic ambitions in life (like rednecks like fatty), what else could you ask for?

Millions of people do it.

Chris pays his bills on time (like 95% of the time, and then when they complain, he follows up), and that's more responsible than most people on here expect from him. I think people's expectations are colored by stereotypes that tell them that being poor as an American must be horribly intolerable, and the cwcki (and our documentation of chris' fuckups, but not his meager successes) marketing Chris as constantly on the brink of financial failure. Neither of which are true.

Really, the recent updates about Chris are only because I think a cult has latched onto Chris. Or a MLM scam or something equally exceptional. Maybe someone traded him magic beans for 14BC's deed. (Like, I legit think something like that might've happened.)

If you just left Chris alone, he'd be like a typical trailer park moron. Meh.

He'd pay his bills, which is more than people expect from him. But I think kiwis have unrealistic viewpoints of both Chris and what paying bills involves.

So one thing I can say is that Chris has been focusing on healthy eating autistically, so I don't think he's lying. And even if you sent him a pizza, I think he'd bitch at it, and then (justifiably) say he's going to eat it anyway.

Like if he's legit poor, he'd eat food if you sent it to him. And then he'd spergily bitch about it, because he has no social skills. Like it'd be a backhanded compliment like "hm, yeh, we are really grateful for your pizza, tanks! BUT I WOULD PREFER HEALTHY VEGETABLES NEXT TIME THANK YOU PLEASE"

This...this....THISSSSSSSS!!

Seriously there are millions of slacker bums just like Chris. The difference is they aren't retarded or weird or
entertaining enough to be a lolcow like him. So they don't have a bunch of retards calling their house and yelling "JULLLLAAAAYYYY".


This country has it so good that you can live like a king compared to a lot of countries. Including having a radio clock alarm, tv remote, and window made of glass. Also, you get step, neighbor must get step. He is pain in my assholes.

Jesus Christ, this reminds me of when gwenyth Paltrow tried to prove a point that poor people could eat healthy, went on a food stamp budget for a week and bought 4 avacodos and a bag of baby greens.

Commendable if he's trying, but he's going to blow through his charity food in two days.

You can eat healthy on a budget. The problem is that most people are lazy fuckers and won't spend the time it takes to cook a healthy meal. That and pumping out kids when you can't afford them doesn't help.

Also, Gwenyth Paltrow is a fucking retard. She thinks shoving jade in your cunt after you steam clean the vagina is a great idea. She's fucking retarded.

 

[Pony Horn]

I don't know what the specific balance is or what the relationship is. However, Chris pays a substantial chunk. It's only limited by Barb's mercy or lack-of-need. He also has regularly timed obligations of his own (outside of what he has to deliver to Barb each month) that he mostly pays on time. The worst he gets is cranky collection letters that go away when he resentfully sends a payment.

Chris' budgeting got established early on after Bob died (like 6.5 years ago). Chris might've had a shitty year immediately after Bob died, as he got used to having to deliver money to pay debts on a schedule. But he adapted. At any given time in the month, Chris has a fuzzy idea of how much he's got in his bank account, how much he needs to pay off in bills by the end of the month, and thus how much is left to splurge on toys. He doesn't need Barb to remind him. But he might stress sigh at the occasional collection letter in the mail.

Chris isn't good with finances, but he's not disastrously bad. He's... trashy. That's about the extent of it.

The thing that many cwc watchers don't realize, is that there are millions of Americans who live like this. Whether they're hood rats or trailer park rednecks. There's a shitload of them.

They work minimum wage jobs, receive government benefits, and occasionally bolster their funds (which quickly get spent on luxury items like flat screen tvs, which look nice in their double wide trailer) with random scams.

These people don't go homeless. Honestly, what socialists don't realize, is that life is really easy in the US. I mean, it's not the whole picture. There's a lot of analysis you can do, and it's not evenly distributed across the country. But honestly, you can just give up on any dreams you have in life, and still live with solid creature comforts. A case of beer every few weeks, a smartphone, fast internet, a flat screen tv. Like, if you have no realistic ambitions in life (like rednecks like fatty), what else could you ask for?

Millions of people do it.

Chris pays his bills on time (like 95% of the time, and then when they complain, he follows up), and that's more responsible than most people on here expect from him. I think people's expectations are colored by stereotypes that tell them that being poor as an American must be horribly intolerable, and the cwcki (and our documentation of chris' fuckups, but not his meager successes) marketing Chris as constantly on the brink of financial failure. Neither of which are true.

Really, the recent updates about Chris are only because I think a cult has latched onto Chris. Or a MLM scam or something equally exceptional. Maybe someone traded him magic beans for 14BC's deed. (Like, I legit think something like that might've happened.)

If you just left Chris alone, he'd be like a typical trailer park moron. Meh.

He'd pay his bills, which is more than people expect from him. But I think you have unrealistic viewpoints of both Chris and what paying bills involves.

I'm taking it you mean "what Chris paying bills involves." Which is true. As I recently told a wise man, in the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

As far as I can see, Chris' problem is his spending every available extra dollar on toys and crap. You yourself implied that he was eager to spend that credit increase.

So if these recent years have trained him to pay a substantial amount of money for bills then his main concern is learning to sock away a bit money (or at least credit) in case his car breaks down or something.

His other concern being increasing his Sonichu output (without over extending himself).

Really, the recent updates about Chris are only because I think a cult has latched onto Chris. Or a MLM scam or something equally exceptional. Maybe someone traded him magic beans for 14BC's deed. (Like, I legit think something like that might've happened.)

Do you think that if he had joined a legit cult he would have mentioned it or it's teachings by now? All he's mentioned is that cpu. Do you think it's more plausible that he's fallen victim to a troll (or trolls) who has hatched up a cult?

 

[Marvin]

Jesus Christ, this reminds me of when gwenyth Paltrow tried to prove a point that poor people could eat healthy, went on a food stamp budget for a week and bought 4 avacodos and a bag of baby greens.

Commendable if he's trying, but he's going to blow through his charity food in two days.

Yeah, Chris has consistently been getting apples at mcdonalds for awhile because he feels it's healthier. The boost in feeling healthy has had an enormous effect on his ego.

Like for every pound Chris loses, Chris probably feels like a body builder. I'm certain he'll brag about it to people if the topic comes up. Even if his BMI is still reliably in the "overweight" range, he'll trot out his losses and sit there with a dumb grin on his face.

This...this....THISSSSSSSS!!

Seriously there are millions of slacker bums just like Chris. The difference is they aren't exceptional or weird or
entertaining enough to be a lolcow like him. So they don't have a bunch of exceptional individuals calling their house and yelling "JULLLLAAAAYYYY".

Chris is way funnier. I think we should just classify him as a publicly funded art exhibit. Best modern art I've seen in awhile.

This country has it so good that you can live like a king compared to a lot of countries. Including having a radio clock alarm, tv remote, and window made of glass. Also, you get step, neighbor must get step. He is pain in my assholes.

Heh, I got my decently sized flatscreen tv for like $90 from amazon.

I'm taking it you mean "what Chris paying bills involves." Which is true. As I recently told a wise man, in the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

As far as I can see, Chris' problem is his spending every available extra dollar on toys and crap. You yourself implied that he was eager to spend that credit increase.

So if these recent years have trained him to pay a substantial amount of money for bills then his main concern is learning to sock away a bit money (or at least credit) in case his car breaks down or something.

Yeah, definitely. Chris' lifestyle (along with all redneck lifestyles) is not suited for longevity.

Chris gets surprised (every time) there's a big surprise charge like car repair. Chris' solution is selling shit or pawning shit. Then he recovers his sold possessions (or buys fancier new versions) while bawling about the trauma of having to make sacrifices for the completely unexpected cost of maintaining a car he drives everyday.

And indeed, he can handle emergencies on the scale of a car repair (a few thousand dollars) that way. That's how he's talking to us right now, after this cult business.

Of course, he's now panicking because he endured that big loss, sold off all of his minor possessions (which was painful enough) and now he no longer feels comfortable.

He's anxious all the time about money and he doesn't like it.

His other concern being increasing his Sonichu output (without over extending himself).

I don't know how much Chris values his patreon. It's only a few hundred bucks a month. Now of course, a normal person would realize the difference between $500 once and $500/month. Chris does not have a great understanding of that.

Chris would miss it very much if he lost it. But the true loss would only dawn on him about 3 months without it.

Do you think if he had joined a legit cult he would have mentioned it or it's teachings by now? All he's mentioned is that cpu. Do you think it's more plausible that he's fallen victim to a troll (or trolls) who has hatched up a cult?

I consider them to be the same thing.

 

[LazloChalos]

But I think kiwis have unrealistic viewpoints of both Chris and what paying bills involves.

Those viewpoints exist because it makes any situation funnier seeing how boring Chris tends to be most of the time. Thinking Chris is waging a soul-crushing one-man war against the system with hare-brained schemes is funnier than an average bureocratic fulfillment of fiscal responsibility with hare-brained schemes.

 

[Marvin]

Those viewpoints exist because it makes any situation funnier seeing how boring Chris tends to be most of the time. Thinking Chris is waging a soul-crushing one-man war against the system with hare-brained schemes is funnier than an average bureocratic fulfillment of fiscal responsibility with hare-brained schemes.

Chris is a hilarious, goofy motherfucker everyday.

But you kinda need to tweak Chris in the right way to get him to show that side of him online.

He struts around town saying dumb shit, thinking weird shit, just in general, being a weird, hilarious dude.

A great troll will get Chris to reveal his true self online, perhaps with manipulation. A shitty troll tries to impose their idea of comedy onto Chris as if he's a canvas.

Like for any dipshits wanting to pay Chris: you're kind of a tard, but if you've already accepted that, get Chris to do a weekly diary show where he talks about his troubles over the week, especially any interactions with manajerks.

See, that's probably not even 10% of Chris' funny potential, but it'll be way funnier than the past six months of whoever's been sperging at Chris.

Chris isn't funny on his own (in the internet sense) because he keeps all his funny offline. You gotta get Christine to bloom online like a beautiful autism flower. Or something.

 

[Mason Verger]

Chris has consistently been getting apples at mcdonalds

Haha That's Chris in a nutshell. A bad habit above a good intention.

 

[Maxliam]

Does Chris watch It's Always Sunny? If not, I'm surprised no weens have tried to get him to join Ass Kickers United. Not saying they'd be successful because Chris is too dumb to joing a cult. Ever watch that episode of the Simpsons where Homer is too retarded to be brainwashed until they sing the Batman theme? That would be Chris but the difference is in Homer's fictional universe, he's banging one of the hottest women in town and has babies with her. And a job, and a house of his own. Things Chris will never have because...he's Chris. Unless of course they offer some china to him. Some cults have pulled that before...fuck I need to find one of those orgy having cults...for research purposes.

Haha That's Chris in a nutshell. A bad habit above a good intention.

It's his new "Standing is exercise" from the sound of it.

 

[ModeloEspecial]

Spills the beans Marvin, because what you're saying makes me think another Idea Guy found a way to steal from Chris

 

[Maxliam]

Chris is a hilarious, goofy motherfucker everyday.

But you kinda need to tweak Chris in the right way to get him to show that side of him online.

He struts around town saying dumb shit, thinking weird shit, just in general, being a weird, hilarious dude.

A great troll will get Chris to reveal his true self online, perhaps with manipulation. A shitty troll tries to impose their idea of comedy onto Chris as if he's a canvas.

Like for any dipshits wanting to pay Chris: you're kind of a tard, but if you've already accepted that, get Chris to do a weekly diary show where he talks about his troubles over the week, especially any interactions with manajerks.

See, that's probably not even 10% of Chris' funny potential, but it'll be way funnier than the past six months of whoever's been sperging at Chris.

Chris isn't funny on his own (in the internet sense) because he keeps all his funny offline. You gotta get Christine to bloom online like a beautiful autism flower. Or something.

Chris is just the conduit for funny when you think about it. Unleashing him on an unsuspecting world is what makes his antics funny. Sending him to an old black woman's house in Ohio is hilarious because he probably was banging his pudgy hand all on that poor woman's door and she was probably bewildered why some fat, smelly cracker is at her door at that hour. Him making a sex tape with a doll and
it being leaked on Pornhub is funny. Calling his house and yelling Julay is not.

Basically it's hard to get Chris to do anything funny because he genuinely believed Julie existed and that Kacey was in love with him. Now he's not as easy to get to because years of being shocked finally made him semi-wake up and smell the Axe. If he's a part of the antics as a willing participant, then it's not going to be funny because he's an incompetent tard.

 

[Silver Octopus]

https://twitter.com/CWCSonichu/status/999488891953414145

Chris is getting picky when he has no food....

lol, of course Chris believes beggars can be choosers