What are the Worst Movies of All Time? - The thread for discussing celluloid syphilis

[Someone in a Tree]

Monster a Go-Go or Red Zone Cuba, even MST3k couldn't save them. I couldn't even finish Red Zone Cuba.

Though I agree with you that Red Zone Cuba is one of the worst (it took me a few viewings to even realize they went to fucking Cuba), Coleman Francis's other opus, The Beast of Yucca Flats is astonishing in how it's only 60 minutes long, but feels five times that length.

 

[Maxliam]

Wicker Park is pretty bad (not the worst film but it was pretty shit) to me because the trailer was fucking lie. Me and a friend in high school went thinking it was gonna be some crazy thriller/horror where Rose Byrne (who I was in love with because of Troy and was hoping from the trailer we get to see her titties) is a psycho chick.

We noticed when we sat down that it was full of couples and we were the only two guys there without any chicks. We start watching the film for 30 minutes thinking it was gonna get crazy scary with some mood whiplash and then it dawns on us it's a rom com that the trailer blatantly fucking lied. We awkwardly get out of there and sneak into Spider-Man 2 or something. Fuck them, we paid for a ticket. We also were worried people thought we were queers but whatever.

Here's the trailer. It is nothing like the actual fucking film. It is a rom com.

Appropriate for GNAA.

GayNiggers From Outer Space is a fucking master piece, you aren't a gay nigger? I know I am.

Disaster Movie
there is literally nothing redeeming with that pile of trash

Any movie made by those fuckers is in this category.

It's funny though.

Fucking kys, fag.

North.

Even as a kid when I saw it in theaters I thought it was such a shitty movie. I agree with Siskel and Ebert on their review.

It's savage but still somehow reserved in its savageness in how they trash this film.

The worst modern big-budget movies I can think of are Signs and The Conjuring.

The Village is pretty bad. The whole premise of M. Night movies (barring Sixth Sense and Unbreakable) are so shitty for the most part. They don't make any sense if you examine it even briefly.

Brokeback Mountain.

I thought it had a happy ending. Those guys drag Jake Gyllenhaal and do God's work beating him to death. I didn't cheer that on in the theaters (to the horror of a bunch of fairies) because he was queer but because I hate Gyllenhaal that much. I'd still fuck his sister because she's the hottest butterface ever.

Harry Potter, all 8 of them.

IDK...the first film Emma Watson was so fucking hot.

 

[KO 864]

For me, the worst film ever is Eeeegah! That caveman film. It's utterly devoid of tension or comedy, the ending is pointless and easily foreseeable, they don't follow up on plot threads, the caveman is too hot, there's inning for no reason in a non-comedy. It is just utterly incimpetant. Even Seltzer and Freiberg movies feel like movies,even if really, really shitty. Also, it's just boring

 

[AZ 594]

which is predictable since they were trying to be "so bad it's good" and you don't fucking do that on purpose.

Black Dynamite did that on purpose, and did it well in my opinion. I guess it depends on how clever you are if you're going for that.

The best performance in that was by Torgo, who was literally blasted out of his mind on drugs the entire time and shortly thereafter committed suicide.

Shame the guy who played him killed himself before the film was released.

My pick is North but others mentioned that already.

 

[The Fool]

Black Dynamite did that on purpose, and did it well in my opinion. I guess it depends on how clever you are if you're going for that.

Black Dynamite's success was in it's humor and the fact that it was a parody. It was genuinely entertaining. "So bad it's good" is something that's indirectly entertaining by making you wonder just how it even got made. When you do it on purpose, there's no wonder about it. Some corporate suits hired some hipsters with the sense of humor of a stale slice of bread.

 

[Y2K Baby]

Black Dynamite's success was in it's humor and the fact that it was a parody. It was genuinely entertaining. "So bad it's good" is something that's indirectly entertaining by making you wonder just how it even got made. When you do it on purpose, there's no wonder about it. Some corporate suits hired some hipsters with the sense of humor of a stale slice of bread.

*its

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. The whole thing is like a terrible acid trip you can't wake up from.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

Manos: The Hands Of Fate.
I watched the Mystery Science Theater version. It took me two tries to get through it. Even with the comedy of MST3K. It's so boring.
Ghost Ship: I'm including this because I saw about 20 people walk out of this film. At one point a large group of people got up and bailed out. It was that bad.

 

[Gutpuke]

Fun In Balloon-Land is without a doubt the worst piece of shit I've ever seen.

The plot is forgettable (so forgettable that even the movie itself forgets about it after 20 minutes), the music is godawful, the set is probably some random pedophiles basement, the narrator alternates between sounding as bored as the audience or overly excited over some balloons and, to top it all of, the movie is boring as hell.
And if you feel like torturing yourself you can watch the entire movie for free on Youtube.

 

[Teri-Teri]

The Last Airbender.

 

[NARPASSWORD]

Though I agree with you that Red Zone Cuba is one of the worst (it took me a few viewings to even realize they went to fucking Cuba), Coleman Francis's other opus, The Beast of Yucca Flats is astonishing in how it's only 60 minutes long, but feels five times that length.

I actually remember watching the MST version of Yucca Flats. Not even their riffing could save it; I'm honestly surprised they managed to finish it themselves.

Fun In Balloon-Land is without a doubt the worst piece of shit I've ever seen.

The plot is forgettable (so forgettable that even the movie itself forgets about it after 20 minutes), the music is godawful, the set is probably some random pedophiles basement, the narrator alternates between sounding as bored as the audience or overly excited over some balloons and, to top it all of, the movie is boring as hell.
And if you feel like torturing yourself you can watch the entire movie for free on Youtube.

This is making me think of the Oogieloves, which you could tell is one of the worst movies without even watching.
Don't believe me? Maybe a trailer can show you how awful it is.

And just searching for this made me remember the has-beens that in this POS for a paycheck. Fuck, I still feel bad for them .

 

[Caz]

I'm just gonna leave this here.

 

[AZ 594]

Manos: The Hands Of Fate.
I watched the Mystery Science Theater version. It took me two tries to get through it. Even with the comedy of MST3K. It's so boring.

I could watch the MST3K Manos. Monster A Go Go, on the other hand, was a chore to watch even with their comedy.

Another really bad film i feel is worth mentioning is Smoking Aces 2. I don't even know why I watched it, let alone know it's existence. I can handle boredom, what I can't handle is a film trying to be funny and failing horribly.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

I could watch the MST3K Manos. Monster A Go Go, on the other hand, was a chore to watch even with their comedy.

Another really bad film i feel is worth mentioning is Smoking Aces 2. I don't even know why I watched it, let alone know it's existence. I can handle boredom, what I can't handle is a film trying to be funny and failing horribly.

I can easily watch Manos with MST3K now but the first time it was a chore.

 

[Bread Fetishist]

I actually remember watching the MST version of Yucca Flats. Not even their riffing could save it; I'm honestly surprised they managed to finish it themselves.


This is making me think of the Oogieloves, which you could tell is one of the worst movies without even watching.
Don't believe me? Maybe a trailer can show you how awful it is.

And just searching for this made me remember the has-beens that in this POS for a paycheck. Fuck, I still feel bad for them .

I remember it having a ludicrously high score on IMDB, which was kinda suspicious considering every review of the film called it shit. They were obviously manufactured by the creators. I mean, just read this, particularly the opening paragraph:

Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure is a pleasant flip to timepiece on a wet or great warm day. explode the DVD in the player, tell your children you contain a revelation for them, inform them you cover a bombshell or a particular film to prove them, and then let the playoffs start! still in the production of Dora the surveyor, WII and touch screen, I can put money on your family will have never see somewhat like this before! be seated reverse and witness how they respond.

My youngest kid didn't at first realize that he was believed to jazz and buzz all along, so it was adorable to watch his big sister clarify to him "the rules" of the game, if you will. It completed me glad to observe them singing simultaneously so properly, particularly following a day of being cooped up in doors which usually makes any kid a little irritable!

I propose Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure for family among kids of similar age groups, who want an interactive film knowledge in its place of the alike older movie you have seen (and paid for) dozens of times.

Just about all the positive reviews are like that, on top of it literally being the only thing they reviewed.

 

[Maxliam]

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. The whole thing is like a terrible acid trip you can't wake up from.

View attachment 464508

Still that catchy tune in the film. Plinkett's Avatar review is what turned me on to it.

 

[NARPASSWORD]

I remember it having a ludicrously high score on IMDB, which was kinda suspicious considering every review of the film called it shit. They were obviously manufactured by the creators. I mean, just read this, particularly the opening paragraph:



Just about all the positive reviews are like that, on top of it literally being the only thing they reviewed.

Holy shit, I've heard of these rating bombs for that film before, but I've never thought they were THAT stupid.
I am in tears right now. Tears from laughter.

 

[ColtWalker1847]

The Intern

How they managed to fit so much nothing into a movie, I have no idea. If you would like to watch two hours of people staring into the camera while looking constipated because their character is pondering some meaningless decision that has nothing to do with the plot (what plot?). This is your movie.

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

Still that catchy tune in the film. Plinkett's Avatar review is what turned me on to it.

To get to that song, you had to endure a solid hour of the Garbage Pail Kids pissing, puking, and rubbing snot on each other:

 

[Maxliam]

To get to that song, you had to endure a solid hour of the Garbage Pail Kids pissing, puking, and rubbing snot on each other:

So basically being a teacher in your average American public school? Yeesh, no thanks.