"The talk"

[ON 190]

Or learn that new technology like HDMI and Blu-Ray don’t go together with a Floppy Drive

I would feel sorry for the poor bastard who had to sit Chris down and explain how the 6502 processor couldn't handle anything he wants besides having the old cartridge and user ports.

 

[awoo]

I would feel sorry for the poor bastard who had to sit Chris down and explain how the 6502 processor couldn't handle anything he wants besides having the old cartridge and user ports.

Nothing in his rant says it has to be old hardware. Modern clones have some of the features he describes.

 

[sperginity]

I reject the idea I have to play pretend to get things done. Entertaining Joshua Wise's cancer just strengthens it.

Keep it as a tool of last resort. Might come in handy.

 

[ON 190]

Nothing in his rant says it has to be old hardware. Modern clones have some of the features he describes.

I thought I read something in his screed about the hardware itself also having to be original, but I did kind of shut down halfway through reading it.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

I like how he is pretty much asking Null to make his retarded C64 console come to exist like if he was his fairy godmother.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

It’s nice of Null to try and help Chris but after reading what they talked about like with most other relationships in Chris’s life it seems like he’s only interested in what Null can do for him, he’s the one who organised the care package for Chris and now he’s hoping Null can get him a free Brony-Con upgrade.

I hope Chris at least pays attention to Null’s advice not about kissing and hugging strangers but realistically it’ll be secondary to whatever the Sonichu voices in his head tell him is the right thing to do.

If this keeps up I won’t be suprised if he gets arrested at Brony-Con.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

He only seems to understand consequences that don't involve words. If he fucks up again & does have to go thru arrest, booking, & however long away from his toys & electronics, it's not like no one tried to make him understand without it coming to that.

Really doesn't matter if the people complaining were jagoffs or snowflakes, or "should have done their homework bf going near him", point is if he's going to unleash himself on the public, there are mechanisms in place that will punish him for certain actions, and his feelings of justification about doing them doesn't preclude him from those mechanisms or their ability to hold him responsible.

 

[Silver Octopus]

This was entertaining, I hope you'll post more conversations between yourself and Chris on here...

 

[Dendygar]

It’s nice of Null to try and help Chris but after reading what they talked about like with most other relationships in Chris’s life it seems like he’s only interested in what Null can do for him, he’s the one who organised the care package for Chris and now he’s hoping Null can get him a free Brony-Con upgrade.

I hope Chris at least pays attention to Null’s advice not about kissing and hugging strangers but realistically it’ll be secondary to whatever the Sonichu voices in his head tell him is the right thing to do.

If this keeps up I won’t be suprised if he gets arrested at Brony-Con.

I can imagine Chris trying to get a picture or a signature from an a-list guest at bronycon, and then trying to sneak in a smooch.

 

[Red Sun]

No he doesn't. He might know who Null is and what KiwiFarms is, but he doesnt truly understand.

I am going to assume you're a logical sane human being. If some guy ran a forum about you that had thousands of post about every single negative thing you've done in your entire life and contacts you to give you peptalks and has access to get you into nerd conventions... as a sane logical human being you would keep a relationship with this person?

No. I didnt think so.

We do have a forum here which documents in detail every dumb thing we've caught Chris doing, but there is a lot you have to consider before you actually understand the situation in context.

1: Everything we know about Chris (with the exception of some mediocre documents that some dumbass dug out of his trash) is freely available because he made it so. Chris is really, really open with information that he probably would have been better off keeping to himself, but that's his problem.

2: You really should look through the subforum a bit and see how autistically angry Null actually gets when people fuck with Chris. Like, dude, it's pretty obvious that he's very serious about this; he's said things to long-respected members of the community that made me gasp in real life because of his stance on fucking with Chris. He set up a special thread just for doxing people who do it, and the resident doxers oblige with joy because a lot of us hate them too.

3: Trolling Chris is dead to us. The huge majority of kiwis don't think it's funny anymore, and that alone is enough to make it a no-no, but there are also some who consider it immoral. So not only do we avoid trolling him (as we do with every cow, as you can see at the top of the page), but we tend to frown upon anyone else who tries. Josh Wise really fucked his head up on a fundamental level and we doxed him for that; check out balzymaker's profile page to see what we really think of modern trolling.

4: Chris is an internet artifact and losing all records of him would mean losing the context for a lot of memes that make the internet a more fun place to be. Chris seems to like the attention that he gets from anybody with the tact not to yell "Julay" at him, so what's the harm in keeping an eye on him?

(edit: accidentally pushed the post button early)

 

[Null]

No he doesn't. He might know who Null is and what KiwiFarms is, but he doesnt truly understand.

Completely false.

 

[Sammy]

I really love how all these people tell @Null how to deal with and talk to Chris when they've never dealt with or talked to Chris directly.
Or really interacted with any lolcows directly.
The way Null has.
Running a forum about them.
For like, five years.

Spoiler: That big long CPU rant. Here just in case you need a refresher

Scarlet is Kind and Compassionate; she is the counter to Rei Ryghts, should and when Rei attempt something to resurrect her lost Nation.

Scarlet Will help us against Rei Ryghts. Remember to share some prayers with the CPUs. Also, tell everyone to give their Full Support to Commodore on their Next Console, which will be named the Commodore CW. Let Commodore know that the console SHOULD have a Serial Port for the Floppy Driveand Printer, a port for the Cassette Drive, a Cartridge Port for their old Cartridges, as well as a Blu-Ray Drive for all media discs. As well as an HDMI Output AND Input, and a Component Output. Their old Cartridges, as well as a Blu-Ray Drive for all media discs. As well as an HDMI Output AND Input, and a Component Output. Their controller should be reminiscent of the Commodore Logo in shape, with pattern of the typical controller, I like the Xbox controller scheme the “C” half facing outward from the player, following the controller for it, and it should be wireless with the USB cable port. And a USB input and output ports for media input and backup, and even hooking up to a PC or Laptop for using either as a monitor. The console should take the shape and form of the Classic Keyboard Console, Complete with the Keyboard. Online functions, downloadable games, and plenty Independent game Titles for the CCW. And the media of their new games should be Physical And Downloadable; I really like using the Cartridges for their games. And the price should be less than $400 on the finished console product. And they should take their time in fully developing, designing, assembling, testing and getting all the bugs out before making it available for sale.

Versus the Atari VCU, the Commodore CW Should be a Greater Success! Please, help me spread the word to the current people of Commodore in this world.

We need LOTS of this world's people to voice all of this to Commodore.

Does anyone know what the "CW" stands for in Commodore CW, other than maybe its some self-insert thing for Chris again since the initials "CCW" are just a rearrangement of CWC?

I always like when Chris tells people to make some super machine that will play all of his video games and software, and allow for all of his peripherals to be connected to it by various plugs and adapters built into the console. Far as I can remember he's done it a few times before with Nintendo and Sony consoles, demanding that their next machine will play all the old stuff too and let him use his old Guitar Hero controllers and have a plug for a gameboy cartridge such.

It never seems to occur to him what he really wants is just like, a computer tower with a mid range processor and video card, a cardboard box full of [input]-to-USB adapters, and some emulation software. Which he could just build, or get someone to build for him, or whatever, and have right now, instead of making demands for a product from companies that are disinterested or dead.

Never change Chris, we love you as you are.

AFTERTHOUGHT EDIT:
Well actually, Chris, change just a little.
Stop getting kissy and feely with people who don't directly state that its something they're okay with and want.
But otherwise, yeah, shine on you crazy diamond.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

I can imagine Chris trying to get a picture or a signature from an a-list guest at bronycon, and then trying to sneak in a smooch.

Or ‘Rosechu’ telling Chris the pretty women dressed as his favourite pony is really into him and he shouldn’t be shy.

 

[The Un-Clit]

I thought I read something in his screed about the hardware itself also having to be original, but I did kind of shut down halfway through reading it.

He wanted it to be compatible with the original, which won't be hard at all.

A tiny FPGA could easily emulate the 6510, VIC-II and SID with Commodore Basic 2.0 and 64 or 128k (Need the music with Ultima V!) and not take up any more space then a fingernail today.

Pretty sure the current C64 remakes have this already, plus a micro SD slot hooked up as a 1541 for your .d64 images.

 

[AnOminous]

That being said, I was surprised that people are repudiating @Null for showing kindness to another human being.

That's probably the best part of the thread. I mean, it's a doomed, quixotic attempt, but I was surprised how many people were genuinely mad. I knew disco was shit, but I didn't know how much of it was unironic.

 

[The Fool]

I'm glad Null is wise enough to realize that playing into Chris' delusions is the exact opposite of helpful or productive.
Because, no, enabling his delusions won't get him anywhere. Like, maybe it'd temporarily get Chris to act appropriately, but any number of things could make it backfire immensely. Chris could just decide his delusions want him to act inappropriately on his own, or even worse, another idea guy could make that happen, using the delusions enabled by a well-meaning person to destroy chris even further. Because Null nor anyone else completely controls Chris, he does have the freedom and agency to talk to whoever he wants, whether it's good for him or not. And Chris is practically designed to be lead down a wrong path, because well-meaning people are asking him to do things he doesn't want to, whereas malicious enablers gladly play on chris' laziness, fear of reality, and warped concept of sexuality. And Chris' fantasies and delusions appreciate malicious enablers much, much more than well-meaning people who warn him about the dangers of reality.
Even if Null's refusal to play into his fantasies won't do anything, even if Null is wasting his time, at least he can say he tried to help. If I were him, I'd feel better about that than just letting things be as they are.
The best thing anyone can do is flatly ignore Chris' fantasies. Don't enable them, don't amuse them, treat them as they are; the blatherings of a child talking about a non-existent fantasy. Chris is using these fantasies like a Child does, to explore himself and the world around him. If he realizes the fantasies aren't sticking to anything, maybe () he'll dump them. Or maybe he won't, maybe he'll get worse. But the point is, don't give a druggie more drugs.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

Seeing Chris behave this way isn't even remotely funny even at his own expense.

God bless your patience, Null.

 

[Al_Borland]

Well, I am happy, it gives Null a chance to dispell rumors about being the bad guy in the Chris situation.

Several things can happen:
1. Chris goes insane and starts wearing Barb's clothes
2. Chris goes insane
3. Someone puts on Barb's clothes, moves into 14 BC, and Chris does not notice the difference or he believes he has shifted dimensions because of that Neptunia BS. Either way, Barb 2.0 will have thicker facial hair than she already has because no woman would take her place after she dies.

Here's hoping Toren doesn't see number 3, and starts getting ideas.

 

[Banh Xeo]

Whether carrot or stick (they both work), in my experience with Chris, the challenge is in convincing Chris that the reward or penalty is an inevitability from a certain trigger.

If you can do that, it works very well.

If you kiss someone again, you will go to jail. Something like that. You just need to convince Chris it's an inevitability. Now, every time Chris kisses someone and the sky doesn't fall, you've got a brewing problem.

(Example: Chris is scared shitless of carrying pepper spray now.)

Some people at magfest and TMG were really enthusiastic about posing for pictures with Chris, up to and including the hugging. Few were really all that hot about being kissed, but most of them laughed it off.

This undermines the idea that the kissing is a problem to Chris. He starts to see the people who complain as a small collection of stodgy people who hate fun, instead of the reality of the situation being, that most people were uncomfortable and he just couldn't tell.

And you can't just tell Chris this is what's happening, because it clashes with what he saw happen.

As someone who has spent some time among similiarly challenging persons, this is a good idea to lean into. Especially with the coverage of sensational media, it would be easy to find some chilling articles about a kiss gone wrong.

When Barb dies, getting the fuck out of that house would be the best possible shot Chris has at change. He'll hate leaving. He'll instinctively, desperately want to stay in his familiar comfort zone, but getting out from under 14Bc would be the best possible outcome for him.

I believe this long ass post is correct too, Chris will be unable to deal with the mental anguish that will come from having to deal with Barb's death, the hoard regardless if it stays or goes, and the upkeep on the house. 14BC is in decay already, there will be numerous problems that will crop up soon. Anyone ever have to replace a roof, or pay for one that needs replacing a few years after it should have been. Fucked.

You didnt rebute anything I said and in a roundabout way, actually agreeing with me.


No he doesn't. 1. ) He might know who Null is and what KiwiFarms is, but he doesnt truly understand.

2.) I am going to assume you're a logical sane human being. 3.) If some guy ran a forum about you that had thousands of post about every single negative thing you've done in your entire life and contacts you to give you peptalks and has access to get you into nerd conventions... as a sane logical human being you would keep a relationship with this person?

No. I didnt think so.

I broke your post down into numbers, so this would be easier:
1.) Yes he does.
2.) look at you, making an ass out of yourself.
3.)After going through all of Chris's life? I actually think I'd trust Null the most.

Chris is Chris, that's the joke. He'll be good to laugh at regardless if he's doing good or bad. Why can't it be good?

Spoiler: Russell Greer however...

I hope that whiny bitch gets so broke and homeless the only time his dick gets wet is when it rains.

 

[Some Manajerk]

Chris is Chris, that's the joke. He'll be good to laugh at regardless if he's doing good or bad. Why can't it be good?

Spoiler: Russell Greer however...

I hope that whiny bitch gets so broke and homeless the only time his dick gets wet is when it rains.

Some cows we watch and feel pity for, some we watch because they're such a trainwreck we cant look away, and some we watch because us keeping track of everything they say drives them up the walls.

Chris? if something bad happens to him (like actually bad, not "no money for lego" bad) We feel sorry for him, because deep down hes just a kid who got dealt a shitty hand in life and now doesnt know how to deal with whats happening. Perhaps even put together a care package or send him some giftcards.

People Like Greer or Wu? We'd laugh at their misfortune because they're such spiteful arrogant gits that are just as amusing when theyre furious.