Michael J "Mike" Hirtes / MHirtes / Aristocrat / Polterbob / Slep / Totem Sanic / Aspergercorn - Chris obsessed old man, A-Log 2.0, EXTENSIVE history of online fuckery in fur community

[Null]

Hirtes spent all the time Chris was at Bronycon screeching on Twitter and conspiring to have Chris kicked out by making false reports about misconduct. He also made plenty of visits to /mlp/ and his shitposting was so prolific and obvious that it became a running joke at the convention in real time. I have been told by attendees people were laughing at him and what he was doing.

This is my favorite exchange so far.

 

[Ruin]

I'll bet Hirtes managed to get his first semi chumb in a fucking decade from this shit.

 

[Done]

Hirtes should donate his brain to science after he dies.

They should use it in elementary school science presentations: "This is your brain on severe autism"

I have been told by attendees people were laughing at him and what he was doing.

This is easily the best part.

Also I love how even channers know how to trigger the old man in their midst. Has anyone cracked a joke at him about niggers taking his shit?

 

[Null]

Has anyone cracked a joke at him about niggers taking his shit?

lmfao I forgot about that. There's so much Hirtes lore it's hard to remember it all

 

[Done]

lmfao I forgot about that. There's so much Hirtes lore it's hard to remember it all

Here's an index post on Hirtes and /cow/. Enjoy:
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/cow-on-8chan.15947/page-14#post-3562326

 

[Hardinthepaint]

Time is not on Chris' side one bit.

It's not on your side either you old coot

 

[Spelling Bee]

https://twitter.com/NoCwc
https://twitter.com/BAWWWWWWWW
https://twitter.com/NoGala4CWC
https://twitter.com/NoCWCallowed
https://twitter.com/PedoFork
https://twitter.com/MeWantWoman
https://twitter.com/TardMassages
https://twitter.com/GropeyChrisChan
https://twitter.com/starvingnalone
https://twitter.com/BadBadTouches
https://twitter.com/BroniesBeware
https://twitter.com/GrubbyGrabHands
https://twitter.com/WEEOOWEEOOWEEO
https://twitter.com/WEEOOWEEOOWEEO
https://twitter.com/HedgehogDfense
https://twitter.com/DelusionalC
https://twitter.com/HNNNNNNNGGGGG
https://twitter.com/Banned_From_BC
https://twitter.com/Gropes4Everyone
https://twitter.com/GoesDownSalty
https://twitter.com/KidnappedCryzel
https://twitter.com/Buy_My_Blanket
https://twitter.com/GetsAwayWithIt
https://twitter.com/BlackEyedBarb
https://twitter.com/Skeevy_Pharmz
https://twitter.com/Skeevy_Pharms
https://twitter.com/Ichverbot_KF
https://twitter.com/Joshua_Moon_KF
https://twitter.com/Joshua_Moon_Sux
https://twitter.com/Dope_Cant_Cope
https://twitter.com/BabymanChan
https://twitter.com/FalseTrans
https://twitter.com/StupidAssChris
https://twitter.com/GropeyChris
https://twitter.com/NoUcantNope
https://twitter.com/WAAAAAUUUGGHHHH
https://twitter.com/BannedChan
https://twitter.com/BanDeeBanBanBan
https://twitter.com/ChrisPerv
https://twitter.com/BAAAAANNNNED
https://twitter.com/UMadYetChris
https://twitter.com/BlockeeNoStopee
https://twitter.com/BLOCKSDONOTWORK
https://twitter.com/BlocksDontWork
https://twitter.com/LookAtMeScowl
https://twitter.com/They_Just_Dont
https://twitter.com/NNNNNNGGGGHHHHH
https://twitter.com/ChrisInDenial

Goddamn, it's a visible descent into madness.

 

[Null]

It's a visible descent into madness.

These are only accounts that I have blocked for Chris and does not include accounts Hirtes abandoned over time or accounts that were banned by Twitter. I sometimes report him as well if I feel like it.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Hirtes failed so spectacularly at trolling Chris that he became a lolcow to bronies.

I wonder how he's gonna spin that one into a win?

 

[m0rnutz]

@Null Got another one for ya
https://twitter.com/yayKarma

I'm pretty sure this has been asked already, but just what started Hirtes' obsessive hatestalking? Not just of CWC, but in general?

What was that moment that made him decide it was a good idea?

Spoiler

>inb4 :autism:

It all began after he bought the Sonic Totem and bragged about it. Then we figured out he was behind all the weening accounts and laughed at him.

The rest is history.

 

[Hellfire]

Kengle told Hirtes to "put a cork on it" regarding Hirtes' fake Chris bathroom story. Half a dozen sockpuppets and six hours later, Hirtes replied.


Here are some of the accounts he was using just from today.
https://twitter.com/nowanking
https://twitter.com/ItwasreallyCWC
https://twitter.com/yayKarma
https://twitter.com/Me_Want_Woman
https://twitter.com/ForDahLaydeez
https://twitter.com/bronycons
This one may be him as well.
https://twitter.com/GutsIs

There was at least one other account that was blocked before it got a tweet off and I can't find it again. The following screenshot is from the account that was made after that one got instablocked. Even knowing someone was actively blocking Hirtes accounts, he was autistically compelled to RRRREEEEE because Chris' automobile breaking down and needing to be towed was "too goddamn funny" for Hirtes to resist sperging out over. He went on to continually sperg about this for over six hours, using at least four other accounts during that time.

 

[Done]

@Null Got another one for ya
https://twitter.com/yayKarma


It all began after he bought the Sonic Totem and bragged about it. Then we figured out he was behind all the I HAVE AUTISM PLEASE LAUGH AT ME accounts and laughed at him.

The rest is history.

You got it wrong, Hirtes doesn't have $1,500 lying around, this is the same nigga that stopped a then-burgeoning furry porn magazine because it may cause his tugboat to be taken away.

Hirtes has a long history of internet faggotry that predate our very births, but his problems with the lolcow watching communities started when he slipped up and shared a Twitter screencap with a visible reply field and a forum avatar that matched the avatar of one of the accounts harassing Chris.

This lead to this thread: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/this-is-why-we-dont-encourage-people-to-harass-chris.32290/

And the rest is as you said, history.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

So he spent all weekend trying to ruin Chris's fun, failed spectacularly, and then when random bad luck befell Chris Hirtes decided to take a victory lap. For six hours.

It's just... amazing.

 

[Done]

So he spent all weekend trying to ruin Chris's fun, failed spectacularly, and then when random bad luck befell Chris Hirtes decided to take a victory lap. For six hours.

It's just... amazing.

I think that last 4chan poster really summed it up imo. He is so eager to see Chris feeling sad that he has to gaslight himself into thinking that car trouble is a big thing for Chris.

 

[AnOminous]

I like how this spastic is calling a bunch of /mlp/ regulars kiwifags even if they don't even fucking know what it means. There are at most two or three kiwis there, including me, and I haven't posted.

 

[WeeGee]

To think the month of Julay will end with ponies and hearing what foxes say.

 

[Hellfire]

BronyCon is over and Chris is back home, Hirtes is still making socks and begging BronyCon to ban him.

https://twitter.com/CwcNotice
https://twitter.com/NullEat

 

[c-no]

I like how this spastic is calling a bunch of /mlp/ regulars kiwifags even if they don't even fucking know what it means. There are at most two or three kiwis there, including me, and I haven't posted.

Kiwifags to him is like nazis to SJW's and cucks to alt-right: it's the word he uses to anyone he doesn't like. It also lets us know that no matter how tough he sounds, Kiwi Farms and Null live rent free in Hirtes broke-ass head.

 

[Jigglyjogglers]

Hirtes really doesn't get that no one's going to listen to an account called "EatMyAssNull", does he?

Like all he'd have to do is make a normal account name, and he might have at least a tiny, slight, vague chance. But he's actually incapable of not being a complete and utter twat so it just never occurs to him to not name a twitter account something like "Chris_Has_ShitForBrains_RapesBabies" and then actually try to influence someone's opinion under that name like it was a completely normal thing for someone to name themselves.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

I know I am :late: but happy first anniversary to Hirtes!

I missed the occasion for the same reason I missed his initial Halal ceremony. I am just too busy in Spring and summer months.

When work was done last August, I came back to find this "Her-tees" had replaced Vordrak as Kiwis biggest meme