Money Financhu Crisis / Chris sells his stuff megathread

[Mr. 0]

The Captain will jump at the chance to help open that store for him because "Help is fine when it's justified."

To be fair, in that scenario anyone who actually buys beagle turds from Chris is liable to have a thread here, which would benefit us as well

 

[Distant Stare]

Elder Taken Hostage by CWCvile Terrorist

 

[NalKaerfNin]

That mile long stare, though. Is he really monetizing off his own grandmother's reputation?

 

[Mason Verger]

That mile long stare, though. Is he really monetizing off his own grandmother's reputation?

Welcome to the farms. That's his mother.

 

[NalKaerfNin]

Welcome to the farms. That's his mother.

Right. I've been out of this for so long that I'm forgetting stuff. Sorry for my slip-up, I haven't focused into Chris for months.

 

[Mason Verger]

Right. I've been out of this for so long that I'm forgetting stuff. Sorry for my slip-up, I haven't focused into Chris for months.

Actually, just to annoy @Marvin and @The Captain I'm going start up a theory that Barb actually IS Chris's grandmother and Chris's real mother is actually Coles teenage girlfriend who gave Chris up to the chandlers to raise as their son. He met her once.

Her name is Jennifer Rouche...

 

[Marvin]

Actually, just to annoy @Marvin and @The Captain I'm going start up a theory that Barb actually IS Chris's grandmother and Chris's real mother is actually Coles teenage girlfriend who gave Chris up to the chandlers to raise as their son. He met her once.

Her name is Jennifer Rouche...

A wise man once said: smoke weed everyday.

 

[Gunslinger]

Elder Taken Hostage by CWCvile Terrorist

Don't show that to Chris. He might think his counterpart in Cwcville is holding his mother hostage at this point.

 

[CiaphasCain]

Wouldn't surprise me. I'm willing to bet Chris would forge his deceased father's signature and sell photos of those, "Hey, y'all! Lookie what I've foun- I got here! Signed Photos of the late Bob Chandler! Hm, yeah he was in mid- he was hard at work preparing these years back and thank Celestia they survived the house fire! $59.99 Each... and-and more to come when I can sign-feh-FIND more in this here house!"

Oh my fucking God I think he might actually do that. Please Chris. Please don't.

 

[RustyNail(her)]

There's got to be one or two people out there that have amassed an impressive Chris collection by now. Somebody is jumping on this garbage with barely a hint of hesitation.

Who are these people? Do they display this stuff in secret? Who the fuck do they show it off to?

I have a pet theory that's less about the merch and more about Chris. If they keep bailing him out of little situations, Chris will think he can holler at the internet like an ATM. He gets a little cash, they just throw the merch away. Were it always us here, we'd possibly show it off for Christory sake?

This is a pretty public forum, there's got to be some cabals that are a bit more secretive. My theory is they keep Chris afloat like this and watch him frivolously spend his money and save nothing, so when something major happens and he runs to his internert cashbox - they're gone. They can watch Chris beg and plead and become horrified at what's going to happen. Possibly manipulate him. Kind of like a pimp who gets a girl on heroin.

It's crazy but so is the idea that some teenagers made him buy them gift cards to not kill his imagination. It probably just is other speds though trying to help out their king.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Actually, just to annoy @Marvin and @The Captain I'm going start up a theory that Barb actually IS Chris's grandmother and Chris's real mother is actually Coles teenage girlfriend who gave Chris up to the chandlers to raise as their son. He met her once.

Her name is Jennifer Rouche...

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Oh indeed, just to put this into perspective, people would want to buy a Brad Pitt autograph, but no one in their right mind would buy his mother's autograph.

That makes no sense, I'm sure there are people who would pay to sniff Pit's dirty sock lint. So, I can imagine making his mother a millionare just to write and sign a book about being Brad Pit's mother. Hell, I can imagine suckers paying thousands of dollars just to have a phone conversation with Pit's mother. Pit also is wealthy enough to support his mother 10 times over. The autograph of a senile old coot with personality disorders is pretty much crap compared to all the other options Pit's mother has.

 

[Done]

That makes no sense, I'm sure there are people who would pay to sniff Pit's dirty sock lint. So, I can imagine making his mother a millionare just to write and sign a book about being Brad Pit's mother. Hell, I can imagine suckers paying thousands of dollars just to have a phone conversation with Pit's mother. Pit also is wealthy enough to support his mother 10 times over. The autograph of a senile old coot with personality disorders is pretty much crap compared to all the other options Pit's mother has.

lol calm down it's just an example.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

lol calm down it's just an example.

That's what people say when it's a really bad example.

 

[Kuchipatchi]

Notice on Issue #5 cover that it says "Mary Lee Walsh".

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Chris only talks about Pinkie promises because that's the name of one of the ponies.

You can tell because he spells it wit i.e. And not just with a Y like the normal way to spell that word.

 

[Xanax]

That's what people say when it's a really bad example.

No, it's what people say when they provide an example and some autist takes it literally instead of understanding the analogy.

 

[White bubblegum]

given

Notice on Issue #5 cover that it says "Mary Lee Walsh".

And the second one to the bottom left. An on-model Sonic. Did he trace?

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

No, it's what people say when they provide an example and some autist takes it literally instead of understanding the analogy.

Lol, I'm not the one with autism comparing apples to oranges and then getting uppity because I don't like when other people compare the truth to the situation at hand.


Listen, I'll be polite and try to see the comparison.

Brad Pit has a mother
Chris has a mother

Barb sells autographs because people are autistic and consider her a Christorical figure. She didn't have to pay to becrome Christorical figure because she is a well developed character in Chris' life mainly verified by second hand accounts.
Brad Pit's mother doesn't sell autographs, but she has the option to do so since her son has often been voted sexiest and most talented man in the world.

Pit's mom is old.
Barb is old.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

A bunch of autists obsessively hitting F5 on Ebay thinking "Gosh, I hope this terrible picture of an old senile harpy who happens to be the mother of this internet weirdo gets a discount!" is a world I'll never understand.