The Game Oversimplification Thread - Take any game and intentionally make it sound boring

Clop said:
As people guess correctly I'll just edit this and put down why I described it like I did so as to not be confusing.

1. Time-traveling alien wears hats.

2. A blue shell is the spawn of Satan. Correct: @rabo Mario Kart
Fuck the blue shell. It is an item that seeks the first player and hits them and is almost impossible to avoid, and some games also straight up require you to not get hit by them to gain full ranking.

3. Dude obsessed with eating animals destroys super-tank. Correct: @Baldur's Gait Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
Main character is tasked with destroying 'Shagohod,' an armored vehicle with nuclear armaments. He traverses the jungle with minimal supplies and eats wildlife for sustenance, and a lot of the support calls have a running gag of him being obsessed with knowing what the animals he catches taste like.

4. Backpacker saves San Francisco.

5. Bug kills God.

6. Reporter uncovers meat industry conspiracy.

7. Dog kills evil fish.

8. Man stabs the Devil and pays for his ticket to hell.

9. The Ultimate reality TV-show.

10. Stuntmen save the Earth with cardboard boxes.

11. Five people kill cult leader's embryos.

12. Dude picks up dagger. Dies.

13. Treasure hunter mistakes a Bible for a gun.

14. Woman unstabs dragon.

15. Race car driver kills his competition. Wins.

16. Mining corporation tricasts competitive killing show.

17. Man steals his own eye.

18. Scottish woman foils world domination.

19. Man tells a true story about sand.

20. Four thieves fool everyone into thinking there's eight of them.


Get to it, Kiwis. Teamwork time.
Click to expand...

11 is Rise of the Triad and 16 is Unreal Tournament.

15 is Carmageddon?
 
Clop said:
As people guess correctly I'll just edit this and put down why I described it like I did so as to not be confusing.

1. Time-traveling alien wears hats.

2. A blue shell is the spawn of Satan. Correct: @rabo Mario Kart
Fuck the blue shell. It is an item that seeks the first player and hits them and is almost impossible to avoid, and some games also straight up require you to not get hit by them to gain full ranking.

3. Dude obsessed with eating animals destroys super-tank. Correct: @Baldur's Gait Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
Main character is tasked with destroying 'Shagohod,' an armored vehicle with nuclear armaments. He traverses the jungle with minimal supplies and eats wildlife for sustenance, and a lot of the support calls have a running gag of him being obsessed with knowing what the animals he catches taste like.

4. Backpacker saves San Francisco.

5. Bug kills God.

6. Reporter uncovers meat industry conspiracy.

7. Dog kills evil fish.

8. Man stabs the Devil and pays for his ticket to hell.

9. The Ultimate reality TV-show.

10. Stuntmen save the Earth with cardboard boxes.

11. Five people kill cult leader's embryos. Correct: @Ginger Piglet Rise of the Triad: Dark War
In the game you kill a cult leader named El Oscuro, but to get the good ending you have to kill his spawn in the same level where you fight him; A bunch of eggs with his wriggling larvae in them. Otherwise the world will be destroyed in 30 years.

12. Dude picks up dagger. Dies.

13. Treasure hunter mistakes a Bible for a gun.

14. Woman unstabs dragon.

15. Race car driver kills his competition. Wins. Correct: @Ginger Piglet Carmageddon
In this racing game there are several win conditions; Finishing the race first, killing every pedestrian, or wrecking the other drivers' cars.

16. Mining corporation tricasts competitive killing show. Correct: @Ginger Piglet Unreal Tournament
The Liandri Mining Corporation is the business that took deathmatch mainstream in the games. The levels are often stated as their property to be used as arenas.

17. Man steals his own eye.

18. Scottish woman foils world domination.

19. Man tells a true story about sand.

20. Four thieves fool everyone into thinking there's eight of them.


Get to it, Kiwis. Teamwork time.
Click to expand...

1. A Hat in Time
9. Danganronpa
14. Tomb Raider 2
 
A girl tries to get home but there's monsters.


A school you attend is haunted by a dead girl.


You wake up at a shore and go on a quest in some island for a macguffin.
 
Baldur's Gait said:
A hitman tries to reunite with his wife after an easily-preventable car accident.
Click to expand...

Painkiller

c-no said:
A girl tries to get home but there's monsters.


A school you attend is haunted by a dead girl.


You wake up at a shore and go on a quest in some island for a macguffin.
Click to expand...

Homeworld?

Corpse Party?

Monkey Island 2?

Any hints? These are hard to pin down on just one game.
 
Clop said:
Painkiller



Homeworld?

Corpse Party?

Monkey Island 2?

Any hints? These are hard to pin down on just one game.
Click to expand...
Should expand the third one but I'll just use this: Your adventure also involves the sewers, a building, and the subway.

The dead girl was a student and wants revenge

You can kill shit in first person but you have to start with a shitty dagger.
 
There are two shiny artifacts on each side of the map; one must destroy the other.
 
Nah, that'd be "cancer patient stealing men's clothes".

I was thinking of:
every video game ever made.
 
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