DSP "real criticism" thread

[Kosher Dill]

He should try playing games that he never played before like Fire Emblem games on GBA/DS.

As much as I enjoy the idea of watching the gears in his brain seize up and start smoking for 6 hours straight, you know that would be a disaster
Though I'll admit I'm curious what he'd do with all the waifu matchmaking in Awakening XD

Really, I think I've said it before, but the concept of DSP could actually be kind of fun. Imagine this: some curmudgeonly old man who cut his teeth on the SNES got transported to 2018 to stream modern games he invariably sucks at, while providing his own acerbic commentary and oldman ramblings the whole time. But he has a sense of humor about the whole thing, he's in on the joke about how much he sucks at games, and takes it as a fun challenge rather than a personal insult when he gets rolled by the game. Oh, and he has an elusive girlfriend who shows up on stream every now and then, to the fans' delight.
So what's the difference between this imaginary streamer and Phil? Primarily that he doesn't despise what he does for a living.

 

[DarkSoulsPhil]

The ability to laugh at yourself and your misfortunes light heartedly is something that improves your life AND makes for a good streamer.

What he should do is play the rom hack of super mario world that are just dsp jokes and finish it, while having a laugh. Not only would that be legitimately entertaining and would bring in a crowd, it would do a lot to redeem himself (in my eyes at least)

 

[thebonesauce]

Like I’ve said before, if he just got a sense of humor and could laugh at himself and his trolls instead of taking every slight as a deeply personal insult, all he would have to do is laugh it off and move on. It’s kinda sad really. The man has ZERO sense of humor and if he would just learn to laugh at himself he could go really far.

He needs to play what he wants instead of what he feels he should. Two very successful streams I watch play nothing but MHW/MHGU and fucking Super Mario Maker expert levels. That’s it. And they have fun doing it. They get the chat involved, they’re not just spectators.

Someone said it best, the only interaction Phil cares about is the transaction. If he stopped seeing his fans as dollar signs he wouldn’t drive so many off and might bring in some new people.

 

[No creativity]

He needs to play what he wants instead of what he feels he should.

This. The people who watch him are either leftovers from his glory days or just there to laugh at him. He is probably never going to draw in new audience regardless of what he plays so he migh as well pick something he enjoys.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

One of Phil's many problems is how he continues to be behind the times. In terms of content, Phil treats Twitch like YouTube. The only areas he's partially adapted to is the cheers/tipping system of Twitch. The standard LP format doesn't really work on Twitch. There's a reason a lot of the top streamers specialize in playing MOBA's or other online based gameplay. The gameplay is pretty easy to pick up on, and viewers can jump in and out and pretty quickly catch up on what is going on. The streamer isn't focused on following a story so they can actually interact with chat (actual interaction, not Phil's idea of interaction)

Outside of the online/multiplayer model, sandbox games work because there's only minimal story focus a lot of the time, and streamers can come up with fun challenges to do or throw some mods into the mix. With these streams, the streamer isn't going in blind, so they're usually knowledgeable about the game and can lead a conversation with chat. Speedrunners, Minecraft streamers, people who do weird Dark Souls runs etc. fall under this category. The closest you really get to the standard LP format is streamers playing new releases blind, but these are more like live react/review streams and are more like special events. Again, some streamers, typically smaller ones, can get away with playing a full game on stream and making it work. Even then, it's usually a game they know for the above mentioned commentary reasons. Smart streamers are also selective about the type of game and avoid story heavy or overly long games, because those are so hard to jump into and viewers end up lost if they miss a few streams. Streamers with a limited schedule also know this isn't a fun way to experience games, because if you're only able to play a few small chunks at scattered points throughout the week, you're not going to be particularly invested in the game and run the risk of forgetting story elements or sucking at gameplay.

To give Phil the smallest amount of credit possible, he's sometimes close to realizing this. He had a long string of streams where he was heavily focused on PubG. The problem is, he sucked at the game and played it in the most boring way possible. A smart streamer would either mix up their style, or stream with teams so there's at least more going on. IIRC, everyone is able to run custom games now, so Phil could host multiplayer nights where viewers can play with him. Smart streamers let people form groups on their discord to run things, but Phil doesn't want a discord because he'd have to worry about controlling what everyone says.

Really, the biggest criticism against DSP is not understanding what it means to be interactive. His version of interactive means people tipping to ask stupid questions he gives one word answers to. Phil is a bad streamer because he hates social interaction and wants to live as a hermit. As others have pointed out, the best thing Phil could do is play games he likes and can get invested in so he can at least focus on the game and talk about it. But, he hates most of the games he plays and just makes the same variation of "jokes" about the game. His content is stale, that's why he constantly falls back on the detractor nonsense, it is the only thing he has in his life that generates excitement and gets people worked up.

 

[actually]

To give Phil the smallest amount of credit possible, he's sometimes close to realizing this. He had a long string of streams where he was heavily focused on PubG. The problem is, he sucked at the game and played it in the most boring way possible.

The only reason Phil played PUBG is because he had money thrown at him. If it hadn't netted him money, he'd have dropped it right away. But he gets easy money without having to learn any real gameplay, so he can stare at chat, pretend he's "interactive", and hide/camp his way to Top 20 finishes, with an occasional Top 10 or Top 5 one. But there's no improvement on his part--he makes the exact same excuses every single time.

 

[Agentsmith]

Found this randomly

Some egs of D$P apparently actually enjoying some games - which he doesn't seem to do at all; which is a big negative

Footage from 02:00-03:00 is one of the only times I recall him genuinely laughing with amusement (as opposed to laughing at someone or in arrogance when he wins a game). Will re-raise the latent homosexual issue though

 

[Wurstbrot]

Hey DipshitPhil, you remember your own words? Put a successful person in a desperate situation and you see his true colors?
Well I've never heard that before but it seems to apply to you, halfway, because you are amazing in projecting yourself on others (you are not successful). You are now in a desperate situation and decided to embrace the awful personality people told for years you have. The way out is NOT to blame others even more. Is NOT to lie from your teeth even more. Is NOT to get more toxic towards everyone and definitely NOT making yourself more enemies and killing your potential viewbase more efficient than ever before. You got even more defensive and even more ignorant. Why do you share hate? Is this an excuse for your stupid King of Hate shtick? Drop it, for fucks sake. This is not a roleplay you put up for your channel, you just want an excuse to be toxic.

When you try to squeeze people's wallet, the way of doing is the way of creating sympathy. You deal with human living feeling beings, what about acting like you understand the concept of being friendly? Because this is where it starts. If nobody likes you because you piss on everyone's leg, hate what they like, make them fear for writing anything in your chat, then why should they side with you? How alien is this concept of niceness to you that you chose to take the route of blind hate instead? Your mind went too far into the toxic mines, dood, you don't even know how the light looks like anymore.

I do understand, you try this sympathy-thing. But you do it the lolcow-way, the way you make just an idiot out of you. Oh poor victim Phil, everyone else is at fault, pity this man, and somehow give you money because you won't understand that it's not everyone else's fault. Is this your way of making friends, Philip? Appeal to the weak minded and people who don't see through you? Sad news, D.A.V.E., most people are not so damn gullible they fall for a yelling lonely gamer.

Really amazing, your true colors.

 

[thebonesauce]

I personally have held out hope and have given Dark plenty of advice over the last few months, but after the incident on thanksgiving and the fact that he is censoring the truth in his chat and shit, I have this to say...

There’s no hope for you Phil. Your best option is to barricade yourself in your mansion and burn it down. With yourself inside.

 

[I am a nigger]

I unironically like DSP and I find the SoK types way more cow-worthy.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

Had a random Phil musing in one of his latest gout ramblings where he refers to what he does as a job. Here's the thing, streaming is a legitimate job, whether or not it is a good job is up for debate, but that's neither here or there. One of the big differences with more successful streamers is they don't treat it like a job while they are on stream. Nobody wants to log onto Twitch to watch a stream of someone doing work, they want to see someone who is having fun and being passionate and getting into the game. Phil treats his stream like a 9-5 office job, and it shows in his content. Genuine streamers often have streams that run over schedule because they're having fun with the game, when was the last time that happened to Phil? Or, even if they do have to stick to a schedule, they usually at least wind down by sharing what they enjoyed about the game/are looking forward to next time.

Phil is such a weird case because, despite owning so many games and making a "living" as a professional video game streamer, he really isn't a gamer. His excitement for new games is entirely view based and not because it's from his favorite franchise or he wants to see how the gameplay has evolved or see the next direction the story goes in. He has minimal commentary on the game itself outside of literally describing what is on screen, and he barely talks about other games or anything relating to gaming news outside of something being a new release and bringing in views. The closest I can think of to him even showing some interest in a game is tweeting he was enjoying the story in Red Dead Redemption 2. And even that came off more as him trying to paint the image of having a positive stream versus it having any weight to it.

I think it is one of Phil's biggest failings both as a streamer and a cow. In the streamer sense, people want to see him actually care about what he's doing, and in the cow sense it is always funny when Phil gives his actual opinion on things and doesn't just ramble on about how the game is bad because of the netcode or dropped frames or broken mechanics or whatever.

 

[Wurstbrot]

Watching Memology right now, scenes from his Oh-So-Amazing depression-stream. I have to laugh at this one scene way too hard, it's not good man, not good! I should already know that, but this still kills me, ack ack haaaaa~.

DSP: *bans someone on chat* "Good bye. Ah Ah Ah. Actually Popsicolo took care of it before I could take care of it. Okay. You may notice that everyones in a while I do something incredibly stupid and out of character and you say: Why the hell did Phil do that?. Things were going good and you know, why would Phil do something really stupid like that? Uuuhm [crashes a stress ball, blabla]. Uuuhm. You know. I'll do something dumb and out of character for no reason and to the logical person looking from the outside who is a fan, why did Phil fucking do that, right? Why did Phil insult this person? Why did Phil do this? Why did Phil do that? And there is a lot to do, stress and emotion, but there is this self-destructive tendency, from people who actually have depression [blabla and so forth]."

Aside from the very debatable way of self-destruction for a depressed person, the thing which mostly makes me laugh is his "Out Of Character"-talk. Phil, really, Phil. If you read Kiwifarms, if you read that, let me tell you something. Really, because it's very funny. You won't laugh, but I do. I'm not even drunk right now. Listen.

My very first thought when you said "Why would Phil do that", and I'm holding this opinion very close to my heart, was:
"Out of character? Has he started to be nice?".
Here is the thing Phil, I'm not trying to troll you or speech some hate. You are literally, day in and day out, in every way possible, a negative angry man, who regularly attacks everyone. You do it on Twitter, you do it on stream, you don't even notice it anymore. This behavior is not an exception, it's your standard, your norm, this is YOU. Nobody asks "Why would he do that?", no the reaction is "Oh shit, he does it again". Everybody knows why you do it, because you are a jealous angry man who loves to shit on other people, because your ego is so big you behave like the world has to damn owe you something. And then the backlash happens and you: "Why me? Oh why me? I did nothing wrong."

You are a very funny man, Phil. Very funny.

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

Stop being so defensive about everything. If someone makes a light jab at you, go along with it. Laugh with them. Laugh at yourself.
This goes for games as well. If you get fucked over in some way, laugh at the situation. Don't act like the game is out to get you.

Stop doing this DSPositive shit. You are hardly positive. The times you are positive is because things are smooth sailing on whatever track you have painted in your head. As soon as that train gets off track you go ape shit and that whole facade becomes clear as day.

Interact with your chat. By interaction I don't mean them cheering you money with questions.
You sure as fuck should have some life experience or some certain opinions on whatever the fuck is out there. Be it some dumb commercial you saw (because we sure as shit know you love watching TV), your worst hangover(also because we know you drink frequently), something that happened while you were driving, or anything honestly. Just make it sound genuine and not filled with some hidden sperg hate for it.
Just bring up a topic for your chat, not have the chat bring a topic to you.

Switch your god damn set up you lazy bastard. I don't know many streamers who sit on a love seat of all things and have a TV far away with a laptop on a mobile table.

Also grow a damn backbone.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

I know others have pointed it out, but the DSPositive stuff is especially funny when you consider it is being said by someone who has proudly been operating under the title "King of Hate" for 10 years.

Your title really sets the mood, especially on an online format. Look no further than one of the main influences for Phil's title, the Angry Video Game Nerd. You know exactly what to expect with a title like that. The last thing you'd expect is someone who wants to positively interact with their audience or create a chill interactive hangout zone. Phil himself even still pushes this narrative sometimes despite trying to be more positive, like advertising his YouTube uploads as him being salty at the game or hosting a rageathon. You have to pick a lane and lean into it, and when you watch Phil's actual streams, it's obvious there's way more hate than there is positivity.

 

[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome]

I know others have pointed it out, but the DSPositive stuff is especially funny when you consider it is being said by someone who has proudly been operating under the title "King of Hate" for 10 years.

Your title really sets the mood, especially on an online format. Look no further than one of the main influences for Phil's title, the Angry Video Game Nerd. You know exactly what to expect with a title like that. The last thing you'd expect is someone who wants to positively interact with their audience or create a chill interactive hangout zone. Phil himself even still pushes this narrative sometimes despite trying to be more positive, like advertising his YouTube uploads as him being salty at the game or hosting a rageathon. You have to pick a lane and lean into it, and when you watch Phil's actual streams, it's obvious there's way more hate than there is positivity.

I've been thinking recently about "The King of Hate" moniker Philip still uses. I'm going to ignore the "controversy" of the origins of the name and take just Philip on his word that he uses the hate to fuel him. How then does "King of Hate" come to mean a 36 year old man who:
Bans everyone who pokes fun at him on twitch
Spends over a thousand dollars a year to administrate a forum only a handful of devoted nuthuggers use because everyone else is banned
Insults banned people who are unable to respond
Blocks everyone who criticises him on twitter
Spent beyond his means to live in a "gated community" because he is petrified of strangers
Mutes everyone in online games so they can't possibly say something he doesn't like
Refuses to play certain online games because he can not control the environment he will be in
Runs from the banter of a literal child
His behaviour is the antithesis of what he claims to be. It is utterly pathetic. I wonder if he has even thought about it, probably not he is just continuing to do what he has always done. If he had a clue he'd at least attempt a rebranding.

 

[Adamska]

I've been thinking recently about "The King of Hate" moniker Philip still uses. I'm going to ignore the "controversy" of the origins of the name and take just Philip on his word that he uses the hate to fuel him. How then does "King of Hate" come to mean a 36 year old man who:
Bans everyone who pokes fun at him on twitch
Spends over a thousand dollars a year to administrate a forum only a handful of devoted nuthuggers use because everyone else is banned
Insults banned people who are unable to respond
Blocks everyone who criticises him on twitter
Spent beyond his means to live in a "gated community" because he is petrified of strangers
Mutes everyone in online games so they can't possibly say something he doesn't like
Refuses to play certain online games because he can not control the environment he will be in
Runs from the banter of a literal child
His behaviour is the antithesis of what he claims to be. It is utterly pathetic. I wonder if he has even thought about it, probably not he is just continuing to do what he has always done. If he had a clue he'd at least attempt a rebranding.

He's autistic and knows he peaked in his teen/college years. I say this because I swear that he got the name by stealing it from a group that used to let him roll with them back on the arcade scene. They dubbed themselves the Hate Army, and you know how Phil is with narcissism; yeah he declared himself their king.

He really should've stuck with KOGaming as his moniker given that it'd be a good way to rebrand himself. Then he could half-ass edit reviews and put up TIHYDP from pigcult members in exchange for a shoutout or a gift or something for best one that month. Or hell, just rebrand himself into a vlogger who just does DSP tries it and Poorly Cooking with the King, since those were his most fun videos and not as tied with gaming, which he hates outside of pay to win mobile games.

 

[neger psykolog]

Maybe as Phil can't even afford recent vidya this thread could do with a bump.
Don't worry about replying, as he'll never actually use any suggestions or criticism to improve.

 

[MoonRocker]

Maybe as Phil can't even afford recent vidya this thread could do with a bump.
Don't worry about replying, as he'll never actually use any suggestions or criticism to improve.

I'm pretty sure that's because we're immoral, decaying, braindead, fucking losers who have nothing better to do with our time. We also simply can't get any clout without Phil.

Using this logic, he doesn't need any of our advice.

 

[Abe Vigoda]

The one thing that Phil needs to realize so he can save himself before he completely bottoms out is that he is not owed a comfortable living from playing video games just because he wants to.

If you listen to his big rant today about how unfair his life is, there’s a big undercurrent of “I should be making enough money from YouTube/Twitch and it’s their fault I’m not.” I understand that at one point you were able to make ends meet because of your internet success, but that was a privilege not a right. If he could get his head around that idea, he might be able to fix enough in his life to avoid crashing completely, but I don’t think he can and he’s only going to learn after everything falls apart.

 

[Wurstbrot]

The one thing that Phil needs to realize so he can save himself before he completely bottoms out is that he is not owed a comfortable living from playing video games just because he wants to.

If you listen to his big rant today about how unfair his life is, there’s a big undercurrent of “I should be making enough money from YouTube/Twitch and it’s their fault I’m not.” I understand that at one point you were able to make ends meet because of your internet success, but that was a privilege not a right. If he could get his head around that idea, he might be able to fix enough in his life to avoid crashing completely, but I don’t think he can and he’s only going to learn after everything falls apart.

He probably already knows that. He just has to shift the blame to others so he comes out as 100% innocent. If he's innocent then people will give him more money. The solution to solve the reduced income: Begging to the max.

His problem is lazyness. And because he's an entitled egomaniac he believes his lazyness is valid. Get this: Still to this day he sees no wrongdoing in his racism and other verbal attacks, people these days are just sissies, Papa Twitch slapped his wrists, now he can't do it anymore, but if he could he would still be the amazing asshole he used to be. He showed that more than twice.
As long as he isn't forced to change his lifestyle when a higher power or extreme circumstance forces him to (and raise his lazy ass from the comfy couch), he will keep on going.

No. He won't create a change alone, he lacks any survival instinct. And if anybody thinks Khet could make him, no, she's an incompetent fool. You have to force him through the true love of his life which always grands him joy and a snuggly feeling of "everything is fine and just half bad":
Money.

He has to literally feel the danger of his lifestyle to create any change. Then he will still blame and beg for weeks and months and when he realizes he smashes against a wall, when nobody listens, then MAYBE he will do something because he's forced to in an extreme situation. But this won't happen because gullible wheelchair symbols fall for his narrative.

So if anybody wants to help Phil:
Stop helping him. You can't cure a drug addict with more drugs.