Bri and I met early in 2017. We had been mutuals for some time before we had actually begun talking but, once we started talking, we hit it off. I offered to add make some people’s OC in sims 3 and Bri was the only person to respond to my tweet.
I made our characters in Sims, talking enthusiastically about our OCs, how they could be lesbians together, how they’re very light/dark personality types (very opposing).
It was from then on Bri and I became friends. We would talk almost everyday and I enjoyed our talks, especially about OCs.
I knew little about Bri’s past beyond what she told me:
- She was abused by her family and escaped
- She was abused by her friends
- She was neglected by her roommate
- Her roommate (and ex bff) took little care in their house as well as not looking after their cat well
But despite this, Bri and I got along very well. We had a lot of shared interests, namely in Ensemble Stars. She eventually mentioned how she had an OC server for EnStars and invited me to it.
It was there I met our mutual friend as well as a few other people I never got quite as close to. The rp server was quiet, not very active besides Bri, our friend, and I, but there was a few issues that surfaced here and there. Namely with a “friend” of Bri’s: Tobii.
Tobii was very much in love with Bri and, because of how close our friend and I were to Bri, he became jealous. He begun to vague about her, post things to get her attention, and, before long, Bri had come to me to complain and vent about Tobii and his behaviour.
I suggested Bri cut Tobii off for her own health, informing her that I did not want her to feel isolated but that this was doing more harm than good, but she refused to do so.
This was the only instance of so-called “isolation” I suggested to her. Even after we started dating I tried to be in her friend group. I joined her art server, I joined both her enstars and BNHA OC Servers, everything I did during my time with her was with her. I had little to no friends besides her, at the time, and was struggling with my own loneliness and isolation after moving to a new country. Maybe I grew slightly dependant on her, but I never forced her to spend time with me.
And yet, she likes to claim I did. She claims I tried to cut her off from everyone but us and our mutual. You'll be shocked to know even our mutual disagrees with Bri's words.
Bri enjoys lying about me, about what I have done or am doing. Common ones include stalking her
(Despite the fact she decided to so intelligently use her current account ((previous privated)) to stalk me), claiming I suckered men into buying me expensive loot boxes from Overwatch (
[1] [2] [3] [4] [Bri’s reaction]), and the fact I apparently had no reason to claim she was emotionally abusive to me, despite her reaction to me having a breakdown over stress and her purposefully ignoring me was to take to her (at the time) main twitter with at least 100 people on it to
make me feel worse for being upset for her own actions.
Towards the end of our relationship, Bri was spending a lot of time with other people. I don’t mind my partners having a life outside me, that’s a normal thing, but I did ask Bri to at least say “hi, how are you? I’m doing fine!” at least once a day if she could just so I can know she’s fine.
I often dropped everything I was doing to soothe and comfort Bri when she needed it, but the one thing I asked for to reassure me was too much for her. I get it, we’re different people with different lives, but if she had enough time to respond and message others while simultaneously ignoring my messages, then a “hi, ttyl” would have been ok.
I just needed something.
And yet she claims I was clingy, possessive even, that I refused to give her time alone.
But speaking on Bri claiming things, ever find it strange how she so vehemently pumps the idea I begged her to move in with me only a few weeks after we started dating? And yet, despite how “uncomfortable” this made her, she moves in with her current boyfriend after just about the exact same time span?
Did I ask her to move in with me? Yes. Did I tell her she should do it immediately? No. Did I beg her? No. Did she have a breakdown and was crying about how she hated where she lived since it made her feel useless and like she couldn’t do anything no matter how hard she tried so I offered up my house to her whenever she wants so she can try a new area out to find her path in life? Yes.
But I never forced her. I only ever wanted to create a safe space for her.
But she didn’t want that for herself.
One also has to find it strange that, despite her making such a large deal of me offering to let her move in with me, she moves in with her partner after just about as long as her and I had known each other too.
Bri loves the attention she gets from being victimized. Any time a chance to improve or help herself is presented, she gets upset at the person then either vagues or straight up name drops them on her accounts about all the terrible things they’ve done.
She enjoys threatening then and insulting them, claiming she can handle the consequences of whatever happens, but the moment her claims are put to the test she cries and locks up, making anyone who calls her out to be the guilty party.
Now imagine you’re dating her.
Imagine every time the smallest thing goes wrong she mentions her ex. “I want to go back to them!”, “You’re just like them!”, “I’m scared you’ll become like them!”, “This is just like what they did!”
Now imagine that the only thing you knew about their ex was that they were a terrible person, borderline abusive, turned all your partner’s friends against them and isolated them.
How does it feel to be compared to that? To be told that no matter what you do, they always want the other person, they want to be hurt by the other person. It’s upsetting-- Even more so when you learn their ex did nothing of the sort to them.
You’ve been lied to.
I’ve been lied to.
I was so afraid of hurting Bri, of being just like her ex that I tried so desperately to do whatever I could to not be compared to them. But Bri doesn’t want to forget. Bri doesn’t want to stop hurting. Bri wants to remember everything and twist it until it’s broken and fits her image.
Did Bri ever tell you why we broke up?
The stuff that led to it?
Bri, our mutual, and I had decided to make a webcomic. Bri said they had an idea they made with their ex that they wanted so desperately to use but felt like it wouldn’t ever see the light of day again. But the 3 of us decided to revive it with ourselves at the helm this time.
I suggested the idea of posting some teasers about it, like making character sheets to advertise it. Bri was against it. Bri did not want anyone to know about it until we got at least the first few chapters done and out of the way.
That was reasonable. I agreed we could wait until then, and didn’t press the matter further. I mentioned then how we shouldn’t let anything about this comic slip out until we were ready then.
But Bri had other plans.
I woke up the next morning to find she had been posting about her webcomic. She posted the premise, the ideas, the character she designed, a few other designs, etc.
I don’t mind someone changing their minds, but I messaged Bri about it to make sure she was aware she was doing the one thing she said she didn’t want to do.
I was upset, mainly because I wanted to try and sort out this problem as rationally as possible. I was mad, I wasn’t angry at her, but I wanted us to talk it out and about how we were feeling.
But then she brought her ex into it again.
I was tired, I was upset, I couldn’t handle it anymore.
It wasn’t the best way to handle it.
I got static silence for the next 24 hours, only seeing vague tweets on her private account (which, at the time, was being used as her personal as her main account got suspended) about how she “can’t be perfect 24/7” and how “if you put me on a pedestal and find out i can’t be that great, it’s your fault if you’re disappointed.”
I saw shocked. I was upset. I had been having a stressful time, the brink of a breakdown, due to trying to find new work, prepare for finally coming back to school after years, the person I was going to be moving in with suddenly pulling out a week before move in date,etc.
I begun to hurt myself.
I posted a small message on my vent account saying, and I quote, “Oops… that was deeper than usual…”
And Bri flew off.
“It’s not my responsibility to care about your wellbeing.”
She said that. She said that about her own girlfriend. She made such a big deal, both with Tobii and in her breakup message, about how it’s her own private and she can post whatever she wants, but to shame me for posting on my tiny vent account when I had no one else to turn to about my overwhelming depression and anxiety… it’s hypocritical.
I woke up the next morning with a break up message.
I didn’t deal with it in the best manner, but I felt hurt. I was ignored, left to hurt, then got the blame when I finally acted on my hurt feelings, only to have nothing more than “dunno what you expected :/”
I sent one more message after this, almost an entire day after I sent my response, saying only “thanks for answering that.” and was ready to move on.
But Bri wasn’t.
“maybe like instead of getting critical you should give me time to think of a reply??? idk seems like the mature thing to do” She wrote.
I woke up the next morning to 11 paragraphs of Bri defending herself and blaming me for all the problems that I ever addressed or brought up, about how it was my fault for trying to help her get better, for “presuming” I knew about her mental illnesses (“seventh. this one actually really pisses me off lol but do NOT fucking presume to know how i feel about my health. you dont know a god damn thing about my health or my illness or my trauma or how any of it affects me. honestly? the only thing i have to say about this point at all is fuck you for even taking that route. fuck you.”) and how “nothing I ever did was to intentionally spite you” despite her purposefully and intentionally going into a large space to complain about me and undermine me.
But the real cherry on this whole story she wrote was the ending.
“so now ill end this with a gentle reminder that not once did i ask for your help, i do not want your help, i do not need you to help me, i do not need you to fix me or coddle me or try and correct me when you think im being gross. if im so gross to you maybe you should like block me or something?? fuck idk man but just stop fucking messaging me with this victim attitude because youre not the only one who is hurting and its really fucking narrow-minded of you to act like you are. im going to block you on here because i dont want to deal with this further. im done now, and unlike yesterday i will not give you a chance for rebuttle because i fucking mean it when i say im done.”
Bri is done.
Done, she says.
“Done”
And yet, to this day, she is still slandering my name, making fun of me, insulting me, and acting like I even care about anything she’s doing.
I’m tired of having to check behind my back in case her ugly head rears itself again.
If you’re done, Bri, then stay done. You’re an abusive, manipulative person who only cares about whoever can pump up your ego with little collateral. You don’t care for anyone but yourself, you never have.
Don’t think I haven’t reached out the people who have “hurt you” the most. I was scared I was an abusive, terrible person after you left because of what you said and did. I needed to see for myself that the other “horrible people” in your life weren’t just like me.
And they weren’t.
They were nice. Understanding and friendly people.
They don’t deserve to have you running around crying about how awful they are at every given chance.
Leave us alone, Bri.
