Gross Anna Johnson / The Fit Vegan Ginger / Creation Nutrition / Anna's Organics Lynchburg - Jesus Freak, orthorexic, creator of vegan food monstrosities, munches to avoid getting a job

[Dysnomia]

The Jesus Cookies didn’t quite end up like Anna says they should have. The marshmallows didn’t really vanish like Jesus. They kinda sploded out like a bloated corpse.

The cookies tasted good. They weren’t too crumbly or dusty. The cookie part wasn’t too sweet and balanced the mallow out nicely.


The pancakes. The final dish. They were a disaster. To put it simply, they taste like burnt popcorn. How they got that flavor will forever be a mystery much like the spontaneous chicken-ness of the oatmeal.
The taste was a real shock since they smelled so good. We were really looking forward to blueberry pancakes and instead we got...Yuck.

I am disappoint that marshmallow Jesus exploded.

 

[AbraCadaver]

I am disappoint that marshmallow Jesus exploded.

Random.txt please

 

[FrickleMyPickle]

I am disappoint that marshmallow Jesus exploded.

They do look pretty damn good, and I'm a sucker for melted marshmallow, so definitely gonna be making Jesus's Bloated Corpse cookies sometime soon.

@Gentleburd Apart from the extra water, any other tweaks you'd recommend? Spices or whatsuch?

 

[Gentleburd]

They do look pretty damn good, and I'm a sucker for melted marshmallow, so definitely gonna be making Jesus's Bloated Corpse cookies sometime soon.

@Gentleburd Apart from the extra water, any other tweaks you'd recommend? Spices or whatsuch?

Hmm, well, the cookies themselves are really bland so I guess you could tweak the recipe a bit flavor-wise and toss in cinnamon and stuff to make snickerdoodle cookies, or chocolate chunks to make a kinda s’more thing.

I don’t know if it makes a difference but we did use vegan marshmallows. They were super dense like those circus peanut mallow things. That might be why they didn’t do much while being cooked. I imagine if you use real mallows things will be much messier and delicious.

 

[simulated goat]

'Smore cookies? Now we're talking! Jesus would approve.

 

[Honomu]

Some professors do assign papers on the first day. The situation of having to do multiple assignments on the first day isn't inherently unreasonable. The real issue is that Anna lies about everything, constantly, so we have no way of knowing if what she says is true or not.

Online classes frequently require what are basically forum posts and responses to other students based on a topic set by the professor. She may be blowing this minimal amount of busywork out of proportion by saying it's a paper. It's part of her performance of "look how sick I am, but I'm still so much better than all of you."

I had friends on the quarter system, and from what I understand final paper topics were routinely assigned on the very first day because there were only like 9 weeks in a quarter

 

[FrickleMyPickle]

Jesus's Bloated Corpse cookies came out kind of too sweet. Kind of not good. Might be due to the fact that I used real sugar instead of stevia (also real flour and a pinch of salt), real marshmallows instead of vegan ones, and chocolate chips instead of nothing, but honestly, I blame the vanilla protein powder. These taste exactly like vanilla protein powder. But hey, the marshmallows did the thing!

Also, I stepped on a piece of broken bowl, tracked blood all over the place, and had to go get a tetanus shot. Thanks, Anna.

Spoiler: My gross foot

 

[Gentleburd]

Jesus's Bloated Corpse cookies came out kind of too sweet. Kind of not good. Might be due to the fact that I used real sugar instead of stevia (also real flour and a pinch of salt), real marshmallows instead of vegan ones, and chocolate chips instead of nothing, but honestly, I blame the vanilla protein powder. These taste exactly like vanilla protein powder. But hey, the marshmallows did the thing!

Also, I stepped on a piece of broken bowl, tracked blood all over the place, and had to go get a tetanus shot.

View attachment 656434
View attachment 656435

Spoiler: My gross foot

View attachment 656433

Oh wow, I’m sorry about your foot.

But it’s cool to see the marshmallows actually disappear! I guess the vegan ones are too dense to work right.
Maybe a combination of the vegan cookies and real marshmallows will make the perfect recipe? I might give it a try next weekend after my shopping.

 

[multiverse]

Anna got another biopsy to find out why on earth she shits so much. Hmm such a medical mystery! The laxatives cant be the culprit...

And doctors are so uwu scary from widdle girls!


Of course, all this has completely ruined Anna's appetite, MOM. Better eat a 300 cal dinner with diet yogurt! It's not like people who have CF are ravenous because they burn tons of calories per day. No, not with SUPER SPECIAL CF

 

[AnOminous]

Anna got another biopsy to find out why on earth she shits so much. Hmm such a medical mystery! The laxatives cant be the culprit...

No matter how many laxatives she takes, she'll always be completely full of shit.

 

[multiverse]

PL but during my crouching munchie hidden ana days, I used to be terrified of anesthesia and especially twilight sedation because I was afraid that while incapacitated, I'd admit I was faking. Wouldn't surprise me if Anna had the same thoughts.

Yeah, anyone with some shit to hide gets freaked by anesthesia. Versed and propofol makes for a truth serum you won't ever remember, but one you will talk through. Anna is a liar, and lying makes you not want to lose control of that lie.

Oh, bee tee dubs, Anna would like you all to peruse her Poshmark account, where you fatties can buy her castoffs! Note that her name in this app refers to her fruititarian days.

Now, Anna knows you all might not be as ~ widdle uwu girls ~ like her, but if you're in the market for clothing

- sized large for fatties in the widdle girl section

- sized 23 to 24, or 00 to 0 PETITE ONLY, in women's Jean's​

- or sized XXS to XS in any variety of teen brands​

has Anna got a deal for you! You can even buy a leotard that once graced Daddy God's no no place! Just $50 used!



Now, to be fair, it seems like these pieces are all of sizes that Anna no longer fits into because she's gained weight since July, when Earth Mom put her foot down. Getting rid of her most ana-chan clothes, the ones she was saving until she lost the weight again, is a thing that would be encouraged in an ED clinic. This closet cleaning of anorexic triggers, plus continued medical testing by real doctors, illustrates that her family is taking their role in her recovery seriously.

That 300 calorie dinner she made illustrates that Anna is not.

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

TBF don't most dancers wear tights with a liner part at the bajingo under their leos? So, slightly less creepy than something her bits have touched.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Anna got another biopsy to find out why on earth she shits so much. Hmm such a medical mystery! The laxatives cant be the culprit...

And doctors are so uwu scary from widdle girls!
View attachment 656694 View attachment 656693 View attachment 656696 View attachment 656695

Of course, all this has completely ruined Anna's appetite, MOM. Better eat a 300 cal dinner with diet yogurt! It's not like people who have CF are ravenous because they burn tons of calories per day. No, not with SUPER SPECIAL CF
View attachment 656740 View attachment 656739

“Mommy, I was so scared cuz the big men in white coats said I had a bad sickness in my tummy, but then Jesus came and he patted me on the head and all the nurses cried cuz I was such a happy, sweet brave little girl.”

Anna, you’re a grownass woman, not your granny’s favourite Precious Moments figurine. Act like it.

 

[Burn Book]

In her stories Anna recommends unfollowing people who "preach about nutrition with no qualifications". The jokes write themselves.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Mentioned this in another thread but anyone read the book Fasting Girls? There’s a long and storied tradition of girls starving themselves for attention and claiming to only live on air and The Infinite Grace of God, while lying clothed in white on their beds in their parents’ house, being attended to by doctors constantly. They were seen as a mix of sideshow attraction and religious miracle. Their persistent theme of being young, innocent pure girls who were frail to the point of ghostly and lived on little to no food (though most were exposed as fakers) while proclaiming their love of God was all that sustained them...

Anna was born in the wrong century. Two hundred years ago, people would be flocking to her bedside and adorning her with flower crowns and crucifixes, begging her to touch their children and cure them with her magical religious living relic powers. You missed out, Anna.

 

[Kate Farms Shill]

Mentioned this in another thread but anyone read the book Fasting Girls? There’s a long and storied tradition of girls starving themselves for attention and claiming to only live on air and The Infinite Grace of God, while lying clothed in white on their beds in their parents’ house, being attended to by doctors constantly. They were seen as a mix of sideshow attraction and religious miracle. Their persistent theme of being young, innocent pure girls who were frail to the point of ghostly and lived on little to no food (though most were exposed as fakers) while proclaiming their love of God was all that sustained them...

Anna was born in the wrong century. Two hundred years ago, people would be flocking to her bedside and adorning her with flower crowns and crucifixes, begging her to touch their children and cure them with her magical religious living relic powers. You missed out, Anna.

I already replied on the other thread (Kelly Ronahan) with more books that may be of interest to scholarly munchie-hunters, but the short version is "this book is good you should read it."

 

[Questionable Ceviche]

Jesus's Bloated Corpse cookies came out kind of too sweet. Kind of not good. Might be due to the fact that I used real sugar instead of stevia (also real flour and a pinch of salt), real marshmallows instead of vegan ones, and chocolate chips instead of nothing, but honestly, I blame the vanilla protein powder. These taste exactly like vanilla protein powder. But hey, the marshmallows did the thing!

Also, I stepped on a piece of broken bowl, tracked blood all over the place, and had to go get a tetanus shot.

View attachment 656434
View attachment 656435

Spoiler: My gross foot

View attachment 656433

Those cookies don't look too bad, but it sounds like you also made them out of actual food instead of weird post-apocalypse nutritional powders. It was probably too sweet because flavored protein powders are usually sweetened before adding any additional sugar.

Mentioned this in another thread but anyone read the book Fasting Girls? There’s a long and storied tradition of girls starving themselves for attention and claiming to only live on air and The Infinite Grace of God, while lying clothed in white on their beds in their parents’ house, being attended to by doctors constantly. They were seen as a mix of sideshow attraction and religious miracle. Their persistent theme of being young, innocent pure girls who were frail to the point of ghostly and lived on little to no food (though most were exposed as fakers) while proclaiming their love of God was all that sustained them...

Anna was born in the wrong century. Two hundred years ago, people would be flocking to her bedside and adorning her with flower crowns and crucifixes, begging her to touch their children and cure them with her magical religious living relic powers. You missed out, Anna.

It's come up in the thread a few times before. She's following a long religious tradition of the starving virgin.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Those cookies don't look too bad, but it sounds like you also made them out of actual food instead of weird post-apocalypse nutritional powders. It was probably too sweet because flavored protein powders are usually sweetened before adding any additional sugar.


It's come up in the thread a few times before. She's following a long religious tradition of the starving virgin.

She’s going the less popular route, Extremely Diarrhetic Virgin. A bold choice, but far fewer flower crowns being tossed her way by acolytes.

 

[MasterDisaster]

Colon scarring. She shits so much she doing damage to her colon.

 

[gREEEEEEEEEr]

But it’s cool to see the marshmallows actually disappear! I guess the vegan ones are too dense to work right.
Maybe a combination of the vegan cookies and real marshmallows will make the perfect recipe? I might give it a try next weekend after my shopping.

Dandies brand are apparently known for being hard to melt. Trader Joe's sells gelatin-free marshmallows that supposedly melt better than Dandies, but they might only have them in stock seasonally. The packaging doesn't really emphasize the fact that they're vegan, but they are (as well as being gluten-free). They're also supposedly cheaper than Dandies.