Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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update on my personal lolcow:
posting a graphic video of herself vomiting and peeing all over her bathroom floor while pregnant is somehow socially ok. no wonder her child's father wants nothing to do with her. she spends her whole day tweeting about how her followers weren't torn 'clit to arse' to have her child so need to keep their mouths shut r.e how she is bringing it up. her borderline personality disorder is playing up and she is going on rage filled rants fuelled by the child's father's family deciding she's crazy.
 
update on my personal lolcow:
posting a graphic video of herself vomiting and peeing all over her bathroom floor while pregnant is somehow socially ok. no wonder her child's father wants nothing to do with her. she spends her whole day tweeting about how her followers weren't torn 'clit to arse' to have her child so need to keep their mouths shut r.e how she is bringing it up. her borderline personality disorder is playing up and she is going on rage filled rants fuelled by the child's father's family deciding she's crazy.
If I were that kid's dad I'd deffinatley try to get custody because someone like that shouldn't be allowed to be a parent.
 
Not sure if this or BP is the right place to chat about this. This one a prolific social media poster, and fancies herself an "influencer", social media expert, and writer.

****

Lucinda is a 34 year old woman with NPD from Milford, Surrey. At the age of 17, she was diagnosed with cogentital cirrhosis of the liver. She attended an undergraduate program, but never worked after graduation. Instead, she met a lonely young man with a reasonably good tech job who was about to move to the States for work. Seeing as she wasn't doing anything, Lucinda tagged along.

This resulted in the worst 3 years of his life, as she pushed him to marry her immediately; was (is) an alcoholic; and developed an extremely expensive cocaine habit. She wasn't allowed to work in the states, and his paychecks just melted away. But living with her was worth it, right? Wrong. Plates were regularly thrown; police called; she often ran away and told police her husband was going to rape her (or had already); dragged friends into her messes; etc etc. And all of this played out on her social media. The nightmare ended when one of the men she cheated with bragged to friends of her husband about his "conquest", complete with photographic evidence she'd sent.

Husband says no more; after 3 years of marriage, they're getting divorced. And now the REAL circus begins.

You see, the husband was just holding her back from achieving true greatness as a writer / artist / actress / model / reality star! Lucinda immediately demanded £150,000 in a lump sum payment. And yes, she wanted it in POUNDS, not dollars, although she'd been married in the States, lived with him in the States, and was getting divorced in the States. She paid a lawyer to write up a long, dramatic sob story as a motion that made no legal sense. This was submitted it to the courts as proof she NEEDED his parents' money. She got bupkis (i.e. she get the same standard payout everyone in that state gets, a set percentage of the income for half the term of the marriage.)

She filed the massive legal motion that she was convinced would launch her as a society star, as everyone would be enchanted with her plight (not sure how this was going to work, but she was sure the papers would cover it.) During that month, Lucinda was still living off their joint accounts as he was to support her until the papers were filed. She put her sister up in the marital apartment for a month; rented a yacht for her friends; got plastic surgery / fillers; paid for $1,000 hair treatments; purchased VIP festival tickets; and basically spent a fortune for a month, living like the high society woman she imagines herself as. She checked into every location on Facebook, so it was easy to follow her tracks. During this time, she continuously called her ex, hysterical, that she needed more money as her baby sister was sat at home starving and they had no groceries and not one speck to eat! She once said this while checked into a fancy seafood restaurant on Facebook. Didn't work.

In this time of cocaine fueled madness, she also continuously wheedled her ex to fuck her, "just one last time, for old time's sake!" You see, Lucinda's mother was telling her the obvious solution to solving the woes caused by her daughter's infidelity, was to get pregnant immediately and force the husband to stay (or pay support for life). They tried every which way they could think to get her ex's dick inside her, but fortunately he'd wised up the second he saw concrete proof of infidelity. When he came back to their old place to pack his things, he found, minimum, 50 pregnancy tests in the bathroom cupboard.

Because you see, she's also a hoarder! Like many somatic narcissists, she adores status symbols and shopping, and even if she wasn't on cocaine, the money would be gone anyway. If given opportunity, she spends the entire day shopping at top brand stores, and nesting the hoard away in every square inch of the space she could find. And why buy something once, when you can get a kick out of buying it again and again?

After her Legal Motion That Was More Than A Motion failed to net her huge sums of cash, or a society splash, Lucinda had to slink back home to her parents', with all the hoard she could crate up in tow.

The next years went something like this:

- tries to be employed by her family as the "Social Media Director" for their small businesses; useless​
- write a blog called "Cocaine Confidential" which was just her old Facebook posts and insane emails to her ex; she was convinced this would become a bestselling novel.​
- finally gets a job as a secretary at a funeral home​
- Immediately gets into drunk shenanigans and starts fucking her boss, who is twice her age.​
- starts fancying that SHE is a funeral director, by osmosis.​
- starts blogging about how she's going to disrupt the funeral industry with her totally unique social media takes​
- goes on "First Dates", a BBC reality dating show. Brags about being a funeral director.​
- brags to her ex on how she's going to be a huge star, he better watch out​
- gets slammed on twitter during the show for being large nosed, ugly, bossy, and generally unbearable. No one can believe she's only 28 (she looks many years older than she is). Not invited back for a second date by anyone.​
- meets another man twice her age; moves to Asia for his job; gets engaged​
- continues to be an alcoholic mess who will destroy a man's life given a short amount of time​
- he breaks up with her just as her liver finally quit​


Now begins her new identity: munchie! To be fair, she does legitimately have a serious medical issue and has for many years. But she chose to use those years drinking, smoking, and snorting all of the things. How she got on the transplant list with her behaviors, I have no idea.

Lucinda went back to school again, this time to be a writer. I may have forgotten to mention all her terrible blogs, but she's always had terrible, unreadable, uninteresting blogs. But she started appearing as the "Local Woman ------" in the her small town newspaper; a LOT. She's always been desperate for media attention; she wanted something posh, but the best she can scrape up is the Surrey Advertiser:

Selling her wedding dress (this story did get picked up by larger British media outlets for a day)
Wanting the paper to fix her up with a man (after her dating show fail)
Trying to launch a viral media campaign

None of this brings her the fame she seeks. Right now, Lucinda is one year from having gotten the new liver she needed. So, did she take great care of it, never drink, all that? Why of course not. She's an alcoholic, and the new liver is failing already. So she and her narc mummy are writing long letters to important people, and tagging random celebrities to "raise awareness". Somehow, even with a Masters in writing, Lucinda has not yet managed to learn brevity. Looks like she sent multi-page letters to all of them.
669702669703669704

She's still applying to BBC3 dating shows
669709669710669707

And her writing is so bad, that AI bots on Indian dating sites think there's no way she could be real. The curse of too many #hashtags.
675539

Oh, and she's knocked a decade off her age, here - she's 34, not 24. I truly cannot express how badly she has aged.
669718

Not as fun as she used to be, but enjoy. / sperg
 
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I moved recently so I went so a new school.
Nobody talked to me but this wierd guy.
His name was Tim.
Tim seems to be a chill guy at first, asks if i know the place and offered to help me with school stuff.
Until he mentioned some of his "accidents" with school.
Tim claims a teacher photoshopped his head on a dick pic because he catched him watching porn in the class.
Said every teacher was out to get him and the only reason he stayed at school is to get his certificate and fuck off.
Tim also mentions a girl he had his eyes on. Some blonde chick i dont know.
I ask where he knows her from.
"Oh i just stare at her alot in the cafeteria during lunch break"
Tim goes full FBI and tracked her instagram.
Tim asked her out via DM's.
She rejected Tim and says she had a boyfriend.
Next lunch break I sit with Tim again.
Tim keeps staring at cafeteria girl.
Says that girl has a horny ass and shit.
Girl spots Tim but pretends she glances.
Couple minutes later Tim and the girl make full eye contact for a couple seconds.
Girl quickly talks to her friends and constantly glances at Tim.

Im afraid Tim is gonna get beat up by this girls boyfriend.
Tim just wants some fuck man.
 
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personal lolcow update:
the bitch has snapped.
her best friend had a very late miscarriage last year, which is fucking horrible, she was very visibly pregnant and consumed with grief. but she is not the lolcow here. she is just a hurting teenage girl.
BUT
personal lolcow played into this grief, and before the birth acted like this girl was the baby's surrogate father since the real father is a 'deadbeat'. which he isn't. shitty guy, but not a deadbeat, just a clueless teenage boy.

personal lolcow's best friend has not moved on through her grief due to becoming personal lolcow's child's surrogate father. she has dressed, changed, fed, washed this child. she loves that child.

now personal lolcow is pissed because her best friend told someone about these goings on, and has posted a giant ranting facebook status my brother RAN in to show me - the status is discussing (fueled by borderline personality disorder) that this poor, grief stricken girl is stalking her and her child, is pretending to be it's mother, is lying and that she's never looked after the child and she will get a restraining order against her.

this crazy bitch played into her best friend's grief, palmed off parenting onto her and the only parenting she's ever done is dress the baby up in designer clothes and pout in selfies next to it while posting texts between her and the dad where she's harassing him on public twitter accounts. this poor girl got attached. borderline personal lolcow got angry that everyone sees her for what she is. now she's destroying grief stricken's life and reputation. god damn.

her sisters are all teenage breeding machines with babies all by different dads, but at least they actually mother their children and don't palm them off. you can tell she does no parenting by looking at her and her massive long nigger nails. no mother can look after a newborn with 2 inch long nails. older kids, yes, newborns, no.
 
Lolcow update:
  • Cassie has been spreading lies about mine and Erica's friends to Erica. Among those lies are:
    • "I don't like "Kayla". She bullies me!" "Really? That's concerning. What had she been saying?" "...She bullies me!" Kayla has spoken to Cassie a total of one time, saying "Thank you."
    • "Hyperfujis isn't a true friend, Erica! She says that you're a bad friend and a bad pianist!" Erica told me about this and I confirmed that I never said any of that shit. In fact, I haven't spoken to Cassie since before winter break.
    • Cassie is lying about having Tourette's now. She has exhibited no symptoms whatsoever, and most hilariously, only started saying that after another girl with Tourette's expressed her hatred of people who fake it.
    • Cassie lied to our GSA leader about being abused by her family for being LGBT, and had him invite an expert on LGBT family relations. While there's nothing wrong with the expert coming in, the fact that she lied to do so is absolutely infuriating.
      • Speaking of GSA, the day before club dues were due, she came up to me and begged me for the 5 dollar fee. I told her that I had no money (because I legitimately had none), and told her to ask the sponsor teacher about the money I have to sponsor students who couldn't afford it/had homophobic parents. She completely ignored the last part and shouted, "WELL I GUESS I CAN'T DO GSA EITHER! MY MOM IS MAKING ME QUIT MY ACTIVITIES YOU BITCH!" (I don't know how truthful her claim was, but if she was telling the truth then I guess her mother changed her mind.) Somehow she had managed to convince the sponsor teachers to let her get in without paying.
  • Cassie tried to get a silver bowlcut that would cover her eyes (something that's probably straight out of an anime). She begged Erica to take her to the salon right before her shift started. She threw a fit when Erica explained that to her. The very next day, she decided that she wanted this haircut dyed purple. Which would be cool and all if she had curly hair, but her hair is straighter than she is.
 
I have a funny story to share. In high school, there was this kid named Mark who was a sound cloud rapper, (off to a great start already.) One day, after realizing that his trash music isn’t getting him any clout, he desides to do something really stupid. On instagram, posted something like “if this post gets 3,000 likes, I’m gonna smoke weed in class.” He was true to his word and did this.

He dropped the blunt lmfao.

He was expecting to get expelled, but the school only gave him a suspension, so he dropped out. (He was going to graduate in 3 weeks any way)

His rapper is “LOVEJUMEX” and yes, his music is trait trash.

 
I have a funny story to share. In high school, there was this kid named Mark who was a sound cloud rapper, (off to a great start already.) One day, after realizing that his trash music isn’t getting him any clout, he desides to do something really stupid. On instagram, posted something like “if this post gets 3,000 likes, I’m gonna smoke weed in class.” He was true to his word and did this.

He dropped the blunt lmfao.

He was expecting to get expelled, but the school only gave him a suspension, so he dropped out. (He was going to graduate in 3 weeks any way)

His rapper is “LOVEJUMEX” and yes, his music is trait trash.

I feel like an idiot for not adding this in. This was one of his only songs he had made when he pulled the weed thing. This song was garbage but you couldn’t go 4 seconds without hearing it in school, it was awful.
 
I have a funny story to share. In high school, there was this kid named Mark who was a sound cloud rapper, (off to a great start already.) One day, after realizing that his trash music isn’t getting him any clout, he desides to do something really stupid. On instagram, posted something like “if this post gets 3,000 likes, I’m gonna smoke weed in class.” He was true to his word and did this.

He dropped the blunt lmfao.

He was expecting to get expelled, but the school only gave him a suspension, so he dropped out. (He was going to graduate in 3 weeks any way)

His rapper is “LOVEJUMEX” and yes, his music is trait trash.




fuck that cunt, i remember listening to one of his songs for like ten minutes. i couldn't get over how bad it was.
any good stories other than the blunt?
 
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fuck that cunt, i remember listening to one of his songs for like ten minutes. i couldn't get over how bad it was.
any good stories other than the blunt?
He deleted a lot of his old work work, (which is a shame because there was a lot of gold to be had there.) One of his songs stole the guitar part from “in the end” by Lincolnpark. He’s also really bad at taking criticism, there was this leafy ripoff that called him gay in one of his videos, and mark just left several comments that just basically said, “fuck you bitch.”

All I know is that he moved to LA and signed on to a record deal.
 
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He deleted a lot of his old work work, (which is a shame because there was a lot of gold to be had there.) One of his songs stole the guitar part from “in the end” by Lincolnpark. He’s also really bad at taking criticism, there was this leafy ripoff that called him gay in one of his videos, and mark just left several comments that just basically said, “fuck you bitch.”

All I know is that he moved to LA and signed on to a record deal.
sounds like a bit of a fuckwit honestly, did you know of his shit tier music when you went to school with him?
 
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sounds like a bit of a fuckwit honestly, did you know of his shit tier music when you went to school with him?
Not till after the smoking thing. Speaking of which, we had to sit through a fucking vaping assembly because of this bitch, no one took it seriously, kids at the back of the gym where vaping straight through the whole damb thing, I still don’t know how they got away with it.
 
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Not till after the smoking thing. Speaking of which, we had to sit through a fucking vaping assembly because of this bitch, no one took it seriously, kids at the back of the gym where vaping straight through the whole damb thing, I still don’t know how they got away with it.
wait so you're telling me the guy vaped so hard the school stepped in.
 
wait so you're telling me the guy vaped so hard the school stepped in.
It went viral, (at least within our social circles) when he posted it on Twitter, he was roasted to the ends of the earth. He deleted of course, it’s a shame too because some of the replies were really funny.
 
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It went viral, (at least within our social circles) when he posted it on Twitter, he was roasted to the ends of the earth. He deleted of course, it’s a shame too because some of the replies were really funny.
fuck dude, no screenshots floating around?
sounds like pure gold to me.
 
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