2019-04-10 DSP Got Married - Replacing the Gorilla Munch mascot put us on the bad timeline.

[big ups liquid richard]

DSP must think he's gonna get a good tax break for being married. I can't imagine what else he'd get out of the situation at all.

 

[Pargon]

DSP must think he's gonna get a good tax break for being married. I can't imagine what else he'd get out of the situation at all.

Another thing to hold over his detractors' (who he's convinced are all pathetic no-life slugs) and fans' (who actually are all pathetic no-life slugs) heads to feel superior.

I wonder what authority figure from Phil's distant, misty past he thinks he's showing up whenever he crows about doing some mundane, everyday thing thousands of adults manage while claiming nor demanding no fanfare.

 

[actually]

DSP must think he's gonna get a good tax break for being married. I can't imagine what else he'd get out of the situation at all.

In all honesty, I think it's just another item on his "I'm an adult" checklist. He's bought what he considers to be a big-boy house (despite the fact that it's literally another condo, and one in the worst possible position--middle unit). He owns his own "business" (stop laughing). He has racked up a ton of debt because, according to him, it is literally impossible to save money as an adult (I guess my eyes just imagine numbers for me when I look at my accounts...). He had a full-time girlfriend, but she left, so he had to uncheck that item on the list, cross it off, and scribble in "Find soulmare soulmate and get married (**FAST, MUST DO***)".

Literally nothing seems to have changed. They still co-exist except for the one day a week they venture out and somehow spend 12 hours definitely not buying anything but the essentials.

 

[Synth]

He had a full-time girlfriend, but she left, so he had to uncheck that item on the list, cross it off, and scribble in "Find soulmare soulmate and get married (FAST, MUST DO*)".

Any time I see anything remotely relevant to posting this clip, I will:

Never forget.

So I think the rush to find another adult, real life serious relationship wasn't just for validation, but some deep-seated insecurity/fear he has. You can think of the context of the CT Khando as well. He moved out of his parents' place into a unit he paid too much for because some woman he worked with wanted to get rid of it (maybe this is where part of the statue stipulation comes from as well -- either only buy brand new shit or from people you know already; this is probably way off-base, though) and immediately started filling it up with statues of fictional characters. It could've just been him reliving his childhood and getting shit he never was allowed to have, but it's still weird.

 

[Sparkletor]

Leanna was just a practice girlfriend. Phil used his skills he has honed by being a full time professional gamer to know all the tips and tricks when it comes to women. That's why he only needed a year to marry Kat.

He knows what he's doing, they share all of the responsibilities. For example Kat has to do the laundry so Phil helps by wearing his pajamas all day to make less dirty clothes. Kat goes to work and deals with stress from customers, coworkers, and her superiors. Phil stays at home and "works" and has to deal with the stress of people putting frog emotes in his chat. It's all 50-50 even split.

 

[Mask_de_SMITH]

I mean hey if you dont want kids and youre burning out, I guess thats cool... His problem is that he isnt living rich, he's living extravagantly with just a bunch of dumb shit to show for it. It's not like he's traveling Europe with his wife or anything. He wont lie dying alone at least remembering his wife and the experiences and adventures they had, it's just a bunch of shit and excuses about how he cant go to the grocery store because a fan may be a detractor in disguise trying to kill him and take his bits.

He's not the prodigal son spending his parents money on worthwhile shit; he's just sort of spending it in some benign attempt at keeping up with what he feels like the Joneses are, as other youtubers and streamers. Dudes the epitome of throwing his money around and pretending he has status and roles and shit.

Hell the dude doesnt even eat well, it's overpriced Schwanns shit and TV dinners. Produce that goes bad because he cant or wont cook and neither will she or she's busy; A library of movies, games, music, consumable media he doesnt even care about because of his alcoholic anhedonia. He doesnt really have any taste for or of any of the shit he consumes, be it media or life--he's spending money living but he isnt really living. Dude's life has been and is the epitome of treading water and Im not even sure it's entirely because of finances or bills or anything. Dude's living just to die, not even in a flash of glory but just burn out.

This pretty much sums up why Phil is a pathetic waste of sperm.

The man is 37 years old; 3 years shy of 40, and he's making no attempt to so something with his life. The man is getting older, his grays are showing, he's got a bad back, the man's clearly passing his youth. And how is he spending his mid-years? Sitting in front of a TV playing video games while wearing children's shirts and crying over internet drama. The man barely travels and has no plans to go anywhere outside the walls of his home, for fear of his precious Khet getting corrupted by the same outside influences as his ex, as well as a general fear of being judged by others. The only time this failed abortion did travel was to CT and that was because his parents were paying for his wedding and subsequent zoo and pizza playdate. Someone his age would want to see the world, not stay cooped up in their own fucking home, playing video games for people they don't like, for scraps they aren't worthy of earning. He doesn't want kids, so he'll never raise a family of his own (luck for the kids, I suppose), so it's a wonder why he even got married to begin with (probably just to get it over with, like when he was engaged to Leanna).

He isn't taking that huge leap forward that most adults take when they're nearing the sunset of their lives because he's sadly content with his way of living. The irony behind that however is that his way of living isn't living at all, and all he's doing is wasting away in his home until his inevitable end.

I guess my point here is that Phil is 37 years old, and hasn't accomplished a damn thing in his life, save for getting 4th place in EVO. This man has the capital to do whatever the fuck he wants, but he just squanders his life playing video games and living an unfulfilling meaningless life. No wonder Phil drowns his sorrow in copious amounts of gin. He's doing nothing with his life, and he knows it.

 

[Abe Vigoda]

Leanna was just a practice girlfriend. Phil used his skills he has honed by being a full time professional gamer to know all the tips and tricks when it comes to women. That's why he only needed a year to marry Kat.

Actual Female Any% Redemption Run. FromSoft’s hardest game yet.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

he basically just fucked himself by getting married, especially if she didn't give him a marriage ultimatum (marry me or I'm leaving).

Hahaha I prefer to believe that this is exactly what happened, & he then unwittingly called her bluff. And he's so vapid & insidious that he probably does think of marriage as "lockin it down". This whole donkey show is just his attempt at checking "Make sure everywun knows I am totally the opposite of an incel" off his life agenda forever.

Which is why I am actually pretty interested to see exactly how it will play out if it lasts long enough for her to start getting fat. I'm betting that if he ever hits the point where he's too embarrassed to even bother browbeating her into the occasional instagram pic, he will btfo that ass right back to Michigan.

 

[Preferred Penne]

In all honesty, I think it's just another item on his "I'm an adult" checklist. He's bought what he considers to be a big-boy house (despite the fact that it's literally another condo, and one in the worst possible position--middle unit). He owns his own "business" (stop laughing). He has racked up a ton of debt because, according to him, it is literally impossible to save money as an adult (I guess my eyes just imagine numbers for me when I look at my accounts...). He had a full-time girlfriend, but she left, so he had to uncheck that item on the list, cross it off, and scribble in "Find soulmare soulmate and get married (FAST, MUST DO*)".

Literally nothing seems to have changed. They still co-exist except for the one day a week they venture out and somehow spend 12 hours definitely not buying anything but the essentials.

Don't forget that real adults sip fine alcoholic beverages whilst relaxing in the study.

 

[That Hedonist Nerd]

So what is the consensus on the actual date of the wedding and in which town was it done? I'm mailing out a request for the marriage certificate.

 

[Sparkletor]

So what is the consensus on the actual date of the wedding and in which town was it done? I'm mailing out a request for the marriage certificate.

April 9th? Bridgeport, Connecticut.

 

[That Hedonist Nerd]

April 9th? Bridgeport, Connecticut.

Ah, if that's the case, I can order it from VitalChek. It's an extra $25 but we don't have to wait 8 weeks. I just need to wait for my new debit card to show up tomorrow.
I have access to a website that performs background checks, but I've yet to see it ever find marriage records, even when I look up people lik emy brother that's been married 20 years.

 

[Nurse Ratchet]

Ah, if that's the case, I can order it from VitalChek. It's an extra $25 but we don't have to wait 8 weeks. I just need to wait for my new debit card to show up tomorrow.
I have access to a website that performs background checks, but I've yet to see it ever find marriage records, even when I look up people lik emy brother that's been married 20 years.

Okay I swear I am not being a dick right now.

I ask you in earnest, why are you doing this?

 

[Kosher Dill]

Okay I swear I am not being a dick right now.

I ask you in earnest, why are you doing this?

Agreed. Does anyone seriously think Pigman DSP would have dressed up in a suit as part of some gay op? I see no reason to doubt they're really married.

 

[That Hedonist Nerd]

Okay I swear I am not being a dick right now.

I ask you in earnest, why are you doing this?

A lot of it has to do with curiosity.
Longer answer:
One of my hobbies is sociologically-based. Fell so in love with sociology and psychology that about 10 years ago I went and picked up another degree in them. It's one of the most amazing fields because once you study it enough, people cease to surprise you. Everyone broadcasts their true thoughts, their actual emotions, their actual motivations to the world, once you've learned how to see it.
Phil is a really interesting subject to study because he's such an open introvert, if that makes sense. He's definitely a deviant from a sociology point of view. He violates a lot of the most common and shared social norms that everyone has. For example, his move from the East coast to the West coast should have caused a lot of frustration and anxiety. Why? Mainly because east coast people move fast, no chit chat, very formal. West coast, not so much. But it didn't seem to affect him.
Also, during his very public '10 year legacy' we get to see his social mobility. Social mobility is the movement of a person between the different social strata in society. We get to see, first hand, how Phil moves from a person that gained a fairly high social status - at least online - all the way down to where he is right now.
It's also neat to figure out how Phil internalizes a lot of this stuff, how he deals with it psychologically, because he's so filterless.

Plus, it's like $40. I spent a lot to go to college to get a degree for a friggin hobby, so I don't mind spending that much. As long as it doesn't go to Phil, it's cool.

 

[ZehnBoat]

Agreed. Does anyone seriously think Pigman DSP would have dressed up in a suit as part of some gay op? I see no reason to doubt they're really married.

to be fair, phil will lie about everything and anything
if he had fried eggs and some sausage for breakfast
he'll say egg benedict and some bacon instead

you can ask him what color the sun is, and he'll say purple, then he'll say he didn't say purple that's just what tervin wants you to think

 

[Frazzle]

A lot of it has to do with curiosity.
Longer answer:
One of my hobbies is sociologically-based. Fell so in love with sociology and psychology that about 10 years ago I went and picked up another degree in them. It's one of the most amazing fields because once you study it enough, people cease to surprise you. Everyone broadcasts their true thoughts, their actual emotions, their actual motivations to the world, once you've learned how to see it.
Phil is a really interesting subject to study because he's such an open introvert, if that makes sense. He's definitely a deviant from a sociology point of view. He violates a lot of the most common and shared social norms that everyone has. For example, his move from the East coast to the West coast should have caused a lot of frustration and anxiety. Why? Mainly because east coast people move fast, no chit chat, very formal. West coast, not so much. But it didn't seem to affect him.
Also, during his very public '10 year legacy' we get to see his social mobility. Social mobility is the movement of a person between the different social strata in society. We get to see, first hand, how Phil moves from a person that gained a fairly high social status - at least online - all the way down to where he is right now.
It's also neat to figure out how Phil internalizes a lot of this stuff, how he deals with it psychologically, because he's so filterless.

Plus, it's like $40. I spent a lot to go to college to get a degree for a friggin hobby, so I don't mind spending that much. As long as it doesn't go to Phil, it's cool.

Phil is definitely going to bring up detractors buying his marriage certificate on stream if you manage to get it, so that will be some nice continued proof he reads here.

 

[ZehnBoat]

Phil is definitely going to bring up detractors buying his marriage certificate on stream if you manage to get it, so that will be some nice continued proof he reads here.

and if nerd doesn't get it, phil might bring it up anyway

member when he was saying we were planning on breaking into his house while he was on vacation?
even though we weren't

also, again, if he wants to broadcast the image that he's a always scared wimp that pissed himself just because someone looked to see if he was really married, then so be it.

guy acts like he has hitmen following his every step. his life story right now is almost as exaggerated and pathetic as briana wu. surprised he hasn't claimed he needs anti-anxiety meds because "going outside makes me shit muhself in fear dood!"

 

[Kheapathic]

So I think the rush to find another adult, real life serious relationship wasn't just for validation, but some deep-seated insecurity/fear he has. ...

I don't remember where I heard it, was either Tevin or GTG, as that's who I usually have on in the background. But it was one of their videos and it has a clip of someone asking Phil something about a fear he has. With little to no hesitation, not even a filler word, he answers being left alone. I know it was something I heard within the past week or so, just can't remember what I had on when it came up. But it is out there.

 

[ZehnBoat]

I don't remember where I heard it, was either Tevin or GTG, as that's who I usually have on in the background. But it was one of their videos and it has a clip of someone asking Phil something about a fear he has. With little to no hesitation, not even a filler word, he answers being left alone. I know it was something I heard within the past week or so, just can't remember what I had on when it came up. But it is out there.

he fears being alone, but can't be bothered to go out and make friends
and thinks everyone is out to get him

nah, he's afraid of not having people give him money and be his mommy