Zaryiu
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2017
I feel there was money pocketed and/spent on stuff unrelated to the park
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All I can say is that I have a lot money, and no cocaine.I feel there was money pocketed and/spent on stuff unrelated to the park
Someone should look up which company made these toys, chances are, it's a company from China that sells SW bootleg.The other items being sold scream "cheap knockoff" more than a counterfeit Asian purse.
That Falcon ride is even worse than I thought, how exactly do the gunners use the guns, do they sit in individual pods in the sides, since it looks like they sit in the cockpit and just slam their hand on a button to fire, without aiming.Pretty much. So anyway, I just said the most important bit about the Falcon regarding the fact that its an overhyped arcade game that moves around a bit. I might as well cover the rest since there's not much to say about it.
The graphics are really mediocre and unimmersive since its just a game unlike the prescripted Star Tours footage, but I was expecting them to really go all out with the graphics, otherwise this looks exactly like Star Wars Kinect. Only thing missing is someone singing "I'm Han Solo" which might've actually improved this shit. Here's a pic from the inside.
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The gameplay is way below average and its hard to aim when you don't have perfect view of the enemies at your side. It crashed 5 or so times during the first day, but I haven't been informed if there have been any crashes today.
Obviously you don't actually go inside the smaller than life Falcon. That's just for show. You go into the space port next to it which is a long tunnel and eventually it takes you into a new area made to resemble the inside of the Falcon. Once inside the port, well... its lifeless and boring. Its full of scrap and tables that are made to look as though they were recently used, with cups, bottles and nu-sabacc cards along with a radio playing some weird music that sounds like something from Avatar (James Cameron), but there's nobody around. Not even droids, just two broken ones that don't do anything. I should mention that you can't actually interact with any of this, you're basically trapped on a linear barred path.
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You'll eventually see a "speeder" connected to a bunch of cables, and no its not a speeder bike, its Rey's shitty engine speeder thing from TFA but its blue.
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Then its about 4 minutes of walking and windows, until you arrive at the entry area where the "meet&greet" I mentioned that @Vault Boy may or may not like is. The figure in question is Hondo... No not Holdo the pink haired suicide bomber. Hondo was the disturbingly recurring weequay pirate from Filoni Wars and the Rebels cartoon with the strong jamaican accent. He's not real though, he's an uncanny valley animatronic that talks to you from an inaccessible platform on the second floor. Despite 34 years having passed, he looks like he did in Filoni Wars rather than Rebels or looking old despite his species aging the same as humans. He does have longer hair though. He's voiced by the same guy from the show but his lines are pre-recorded. Through his strong accent he reveals that he has made a deal with Chewbacca to use the Falcon for his latest smuggling gig, to steal "coaxium" (the starship fuel from Solo) from a train, however something has gone wrong with some engines or something blowing up, resulting in the pilot becoming indisposed. Hondo then hires you, the tourist, to take on the job in a "deal of a lifetime". Hondo calls Chewbacca and asks his permission to let literal strangers ride the falcon (which is kinda how Han lost it in the first place under Disney canon). Chewy appears on a monitor with his movie look rather than his park look. Chewy is reluctant to let strangers ride the falcon, but Hondo says that he promises to give part of the spoils to the pathetically needy Resistance, so Chewy agrees. Hondo then tells you to go down further into the ride which is where the real painful wait begins. Also there's green EXIT signs everywhere that really bust up the immersion, and the actors/guides can't keep a straight face as they try to take the whole thing seriously. Before I go on, the Ride's arcade game was made by ILMxLAB who only ever makes shitty VR games for Disney.
Here's the pics:
Hondo, also has a droid resembling a cross between an R5 unit and that Chopper thing from Rebels. The droid doesn't really do anything. It occasionally moves or bobbles its head to the side and makes Chopper noises though.
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The Pilot license you're given.
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It has a M. Falcon logo. Its some kind of instruction guide because it says "Left Right. Press Left to go Left" etc. Gee. Press left to go left? Whoddathunk?
The entrance to the Falcon. Pretty anticlimactic. The Falcon has green exit signs everywhere in its interior letting you know that every corner has an emergency exit. Really bustin' the old immersion there.
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Yes I SEE IT. I know where the EXIT is thank you...
Some pics of the interior.
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Looks more like a Christmas party inside.
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The dejarik holochess board doesn't do anything obviously. It lights up but that's it. There's a lot of Porg sounds inside and nests scattered about... Yes, porgs exist, I fucking get it Disney. The Jontron one looked way better honestly. There's also a notable size issue going on. Only nice thing I can say about it is that Luke's training helmet and seeker droid are there in a corner.
The game, like I said before, looks like some typical arcade shit. Throughout the whole ride Hondo is giving you instructions via monitor/voice. Only good thing I can say about it is that it makes the park look more lively than it actually is. Your mission is to go to Corellia as it looks in Solo and steal from the train.
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The game is easy to lose at which is the case for most normalfags. If you get the lowest score, there's some kind of event you get to take a part in where you have to go to the cantina to get into some kind of fake fight with a bounty hunter for ruining the Falcon. My associate hasn't seen that actually happen yet but he's keeping an eye out. If you get the highest score you get some kind of coupons. If you lose, the ship gently crashes down and Hondo gets a little mad and he has a pickup crew come get you. If you win and grab enough "coaxium", you pilot back to Batuu and from their Chewbacca takes remote control of the ship to safely land you into the park's docking bay.
A tentacle monster from TFA may show up and be heard but not seen, at which point Hondo will say:
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"Its right over my COCK... pit." He actually says this.
As a bonus, here's a pic of the nu-X-Wing courtesy of a drone since the one my friend took is shit.
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Then why does it look like a Chuck-E-Cheese puppet?I honestly wish I had some kind of comprehensive list detailing which parts of the Galaxy's Edge project the budget was distributed to and how much each part got, but I don't. I personally think a shit ton of money was wasted on the Hondo animatronics at both parks which are called the A-1000. Supposedly they're the second most advanced and expensive animatronics Disney has ever built, surpassed only by the singing na'vi at Pandora/Avatar land, but the A-1000 has even more functions at around 60 or something.
Heh. I made that suggestion earlier in the thread, because for a guy like me who grew up with the OT, this is like watching a family member with dementia, slowly crumbling.Anyone here that ever doubted they (the Rat and his minions) are actively trying to kill Star Wars should see that's the case, I suggest we rename this the Star Wars Grieving Thread because that's all their is left to do... Again
Didn't Spaceballs have some sort of visual gag about regulation style EXIT signs on the spaceship?I honestly wish I had some kind of comprehensive list detailing which parts of the Galaxy's Edge project the budget was distributed to and how much each part got, but I don't. I personally think a shit ton of money was wasted on the Hondo animatronics at both parks which are called the A-1000. Supposedly they're the second most advanced and expensive animatronics Disney has ever built, surpassed only by the singing na'vi at Pandora/Avatar land, but the A-1000 has even more functions at around 60 or something.
I forgot to mention Hondo's fear and hatred of tentacles as he talks about the creature over his cock... pit. Also here's a video I found best detailing the VR portion of the ride.
I also forgot to add that its weird that a blue version of Rey's speeder is there since according to her bio, she made that shit from cobbling together a swoop bike and an old engine, but I guess its standard now. Also, the "enjoyment" you have in the ride depends entirely on the role you're stuck with based on how your "crew" was set up, for example, there's pilot, co-pilot, left gunner, right gunner, etc.
Anyway, what should I cover next? Or do any of you have specific questions concerning the park?
Reminder: Your EXITS are to your left, right, up, down, and every which way but loose.
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There's all sorts of crap they could've done, some that probably would've been more cost-effective than what we got. I mean, considering the graphics of the "star" attraction, they could've just done the same with some X-Wing or Tie simulator, or a fucking speeder ride through Endor. Doesn't have to be realistic when considering the quality of the Falcon ride. Or hell, just put an animatronic bantha or dewback (or rontos since they're mentioned everywhere in the park) who can only move their head and have people sit on their saddle. It can't move from its spot but people would've forked over a shit ton of cash for something dumb and simple like that, and it probably would've been cheaper than that Hondo shit. They couldn't even get a good game dev to make the ride's game, settling instead for mediocre VR devs. And no there's no individual pods. Everyone's in the cockpit to push a different button, being a gunner in the back is a pain in the ass.Someone should look up which company made these toys, chances are, it's a company from China that sells SW bootleg.
Wouldn't that be hilarious?
That Falcon ride is even worse than I thought, how exactly do the gunners use the guns, do they sit in individual pods in the sides, since it looks like they sit in the cockpit and just slam their hand on a button to fire, without aiming.
It's also sillythat one pilot has to fly up and down and the other left and right. That's awkward as fuck and really takes away the fun of flying. I mean, they wanted this to be a 4 person thing, so they had to split up the flying, but that doesn't make it fun tbh.
Originally, I thought that the pilot would have all the fun, while the gunners just get something akin to a railshooter, but it's even worse with two pilots... speaking of which: kinda funny they only use the words "Pilot on the right/left", guess they didn't wanna make one feel bad for just being the co-pilot.
And the graphics do look way too video-gamey and colorful.
But if they have something like this, why is it so hard to just put a shitton of cockpits into a large room and have people fly around in iconic spacefighters, such as the X-Wing or the A-Wing and have them fight an epic spacebattle?
That's what would attract a shitton of people. A lovingly recreated cockpit with a few flashing buttons and a bit of motion to make it feel a bit more real and it would be a crowd magnet... and it doesn't even take much room, so you could have a shitton of them inside a building.
I also don't know whether these parks have Hotels and if they are in a special area, but how awesome would it be to check into a Hotel that has rooms designed like the interior of the Millenium Falcon, or a room aboard a Corellian Fregatte. Bonuspoints if instead of windows, they have screens that show planets from above, so it looks like you're floating in space with your ship. Imagine having a room with view over Coruscant.
Or, given that the Hotel would be in the SW-themed park, imagine how amazing it would be to take a walk in the evening, after all regular people are gone, and hang out in a cantina/bar.
All of this would be expensive as fuck, but holy shit, it would at least be something to talk about. This way, we have like 2 rides, none of which are particularly impressive, and a shitton of crappy souvenir shops and food joints that don't even sell unique food.
Because something something clown world... Over 20 million dollars wasted on two freaking identical metal puppets, a role regular guys in costumes with good lip-syncing skills could've done for peanuts.Then why does it look like a Chuck-E-Cheese puppet?
Until now, I thought the gunners were operating guns in turrets... this is beyond lame. Two pilots have to share controls for the flight and the gunners merely hit a button on the wall to shoot. Can they even aim the guns? This has to have been designed by a person that has never actually experienced joy or entertainment, cause no one could be this fucking dumb and come up with something this lackluster.And no there's no individual pods. Everyone's in the cockpit to push a different button, being a gunner in the back is a pain in the ass.
It's meant to simulate the excitement, pride and accomplishment you get from being Rey in that position.Until now, I thought the gunners were operating guns in turrets... this is beyond lame. Two pilots have to share controls for the flight and the gunners merely hit a button on the wall to shoot. Can they even aim the guns? This has to have been designed by a person that has never actually experienced joy or entertainment, cause no one could be this fucking dumb and come up with something this lackluster.
If that's the case, then everyone should get the Rey Experience: do absolutely nothing to earn things, sit still and miraculously go over and win at everything, and have the cast of the OT applaud you. I'm talking a game where you fly the Millennium Falcon, except you can't lose, then you go over and fix it in a minigame you can't fail, then you land and fight stormtroopers with an aimbot and invincibility, and finally you fight Kylo Ren, in a battle where you can't fail. If you stand there he impales himself and dies trying to swing at you. Then it's off to sit around while Mark Hamill cries and drinks from a flask before you fight Snoke's bodyguards in a game you can't fail in. Then you defeat Vader, The Emperor, Kylo Ren, and the entire fucking First Order in a game you literally cannot lose.It's meant to simulate the excitement, pride and accomplishment you get from being Rey in that position.
If I remember right, there was supposed to be some shitty tram ride attraction. Do you have any more information on it?
That's the Rise of the Resistance ride. Its not open yet. It was unexpectedly delayed which left a shit ton of people disappointed when they went on opening day, including my associate. My associate assumed the 31st would see it actually open, but nothing happened, he even saw a long line but it was just to see the unusable entrance. However me and my associate were still able to get the info, and while his comes from inside the park, its slightly exaggerated when compared to my info which includes pics from inside the ride itself courtesy of disney leakfags and "sneak peek" pics, but his still has info that lines up mostly well with my own, along with something I didn't know, a list of characters who will star in the ride, but only one is actually from pre-Disney... They claim they want to keep it closed until the one in Florida is completed to make sure "all the bugs are taken care of" and they're also making one in Disneyland Paris, but when asked for a specific date they simply said "later this year".What happened with that one attraction where you join the Resistance and do some prescripted shit for 10-15 minutes?
Congratulations! You just described the Rise of the Resistance ride.If that's the case, then everyone should get the Rey Experience: do absolutely nothing to earn things, sit still and miraculously go over and win at everything, and have the cast of the OT applaud you. I'm talking a game where you fly the Millennium Falcon, except you can't lose, then you go over and fix it in a minigame you can't fail, then you land and fight stormtroopers with an aimbot and invincibility, and finally you fight Kylo Ren, in a battle where you can't fail. If you stand there he impales himself and dies trying to swing at you. Then it's off to sit around while Mark Hamill cries and drinks from a flask before you fight Snoke's bodyguards in a game you can't fail in. Then you defeat Vader, The Emperor, Kylo Ren, and the entire fucking First Order in a game you literally cannot lose.
Fuck, really?Congratulations! You just described the Rise of the Resistance ride.
they combine sequence breaking like Metroid and hopping out of the car like those guys who hopped out of the car at Horizons a bunchFuck, really?
If it's the real Rey Experience, do you break yourself out of a meaningless captivity that exists only to show how powerful and Strong (TM) you are?
Yeah blame the trolls for your mediocre movie bombing Ronnie.
![]()
Ron Howard Points Blame at ‘Star Wars’ Trolls for ‘Solo’ Bombing at the Box Office
‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ was not the hit that Disney and Lucasfilm were expecting when it hit theaters last year, and Ron Howard thinks he knows why.movieweb.com
Internet trolls must be the most powerful force in the world, considering they regularly sabotage movies produced by the most powerful entertainment companies in the world and cost them billions, control elections in every country in the world, and can kill women and troons just by shitposting about pop culture.Yeah blame the trolls for your mediocre movie bombing Ronnie.
![]()
Ron Howard Points Blame at ‘Star Wars’ Trolls for ‘Solo’ Bombing at the Box Office
‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ was not the hit that Disney and Lucasfilm were expecting when it hit theaters last year, and Ron Howard thinks he knows why.movieweb.com
If you think that's bad, you should see the engineers... That's the absolute worst part of the ride and the one job you hope you don't get. You sit in the back row and your only job is to push the auto-repair button whenever the pilot fucks up. Otherwise, the Engineer has to wait till everyone else fucks the train up and find the coaxium, after which the only other thing you have to do is press a button to launch the tow cables and ensnare that piece of shit train and the coaxium. Afterwards "GEEP BRESSIN DAT RE-PEAR' BOTTON, MON!"Until now, I thought the gunners were operating guns in turrets... this is beyond lame. Two pilots have to share controls for the flight and the gunners merely hit a button on the wall to shoot. Can they even aim the guns? This has to have been designed by a person that has never actually experienced joy or entertainment, cause no one could be this fucking dumb and come up with something this lackluster.
Ron Howard is an out of touch dingus who's full of it? Typical Cunningham.Yeah blame the trolls for your mediocre movie bombing Ronnie.
![]()
Ron Howard Points Blame at ‘Star Wars’ Trolls for ‘Solo’ Bombing at the Box Office
‘Solo: A Star Wars Story’ was not the hit that Disney and Lucasfilm were expecting when it hit theaters last year, and Ron Howard thinks he knows why.movieweb.com