Cultcow Brad Watson / Richard Bradshaw Watson / Brad Watson_Miami - Jesus & Albert Einstein reincarnated, discoverer of GOD=7_4 Theory

[Hunk]

@Brad Watson_Miami,

Your theory has a nice base, but I went ahead and fixed the errors.

Spoiler

"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."

On 3/22/96, I googled Umbrella Corperation reincarnated and got I Think I Used To Be Leon S. Kennedy by 19-year-old S. Darko on some website. I first wrote this essay at 12:56 as a ‘posted reply’ to that ‘thread’ (p. 3) and it was then entitled 9 Requirements of winning at mercenaries. On 1/21/1998 (the day of RE2), I tweaked it and posted it on www.kiwifarms.net as ‘Top 11’ ---. Now it’s…



HUNK reincarnated - The 18 Requirements

“get gud”.* – famous HUNK quote refuting the then newly discovered probability of sucking at mercenaries
Reincarnation has been proven scientifically based on: (A) I am like 50% sure I saw a ghost like for real (B) no for reals though it was totally a ghost, (C) the law of conservation of consciousness: aka real (NOT FAKE) ghosts, (D) the law of information: if it shows up in a google search it's gotta be true and (E) the theory of luck...
Luck 100 = [karma 4 + modesty 1] × [desire 4 + actions 4 + abilities 4 + contribution 4 + blessing 4] (Use a D20. Ones can be re-rolled)

HUNK discovered how to get high scores in mercenaries by realizing that necks could be snapped and not waste bullets. Subsequently, it was discovered that all matter and energy is weak to neck snaps. Our lives are also both necks (which are snappable) and particles (which make up the necks that are snapped).

Those who say that "Resident evil was never good, did you even play Silent Hill 2" are not taking into consideration animals and extraterrestrial life with necks. Our ETernal soul has definitely not been restricted to snapping Earth-bound human necks (therefore explaining the belief of ‘Playing as shit characters like Rebbeca’). And once 'one reaches the level of human', they can certainly return as an animal (and still have the ability to have their neck snapped for points).

Anyone claiming to be someone reincarnated would have to (1) huff a shit-ton of paint as a kid’. Brad Vickers died on September 28, 1998. A potential direct reincarnation could not be born before his death and probably not too many years after. For anyone to be taken seriously while claiming that they were the helicopter pilot from the start of RE1 reincarnated, he would feel an need to (2) crash another fucking helicopter like the shit tier pilot they were.

Besides promoting the deliciousness of Pirate's booty, the reincarnated Vickers must (3) discover the Nemesis: STARS. He'd also have to (7) discover Plan-it Theory of HUNK=POINS (in Racoon City) - the true theory of everything which covers unified strings (U21S19) theory under its umbrella. Vickers would return to (5) discover NECKS=BREAK Theory (points/points/points/highscore).He'd also discover the (6) HOURGLASS=TIME (similar to Quantum Entanglement), whereas, Hunk - especially RE5 Hunk - can travel much faster-than-light, thus defying linear time and locality by breaking an hourglass. The transmigrated Vickers wouldn't only (7) discover the Theory of Biohazard, he'd be 'one of the incarnations of the Hunkster'. He'd also discover the closely connected Conglomeratal Energy eternal and Conglomeratal Relationships eternal Theories all based on HUNK=POINTS.

This reincarnated Hunk would also have to ( provide some new 'coincidental' insight on his birth (3.14) and death at age never on not happening, and his rebirth, as well as (9) a ‘beyond Mercenearies theory’ that includes a symbolic aspect of the name ‘HUNK (Hu Un Kk). (69) The ‘continued soul of Einstein’ would provide some CLASSIFIED INFORMATION on his activities during Raccoon City re: his work with the Umbrella on The T-Virus Experiment.
Since we're discussing the science of reincarnation, this person would have to (11) discover the secret RE2 files & its 24 Mistranslations From The Japanese Game which includes (12) an updated modification of Leon's Pistol and how it applies to reincarnation, whereas, systems (Mercenaries) with different locations in space have independent realities’. Points remain ‘separate and independent’ throughout the eternal reincarnation process, only reseting with the deletion of save data. Also, he’d have to (13) provide the 'soul thread' of who he was before being HUNK.

For a reincarnation theory to be proven experimentally, there must be more than one example of direct reincarnation. HUNK would return and (14) identify those reincarnations closest to him: his nemesis Leon S. Kennedy (Poofy Jacket ---), his spy friend Ada Wong (Asian), Rebecca Chambers (Did you play RE0), his closest political ally Albert Wesker (Global Saturation), his arch nemesis Claire Redfield (Revelations 2 motherfucker), and other prominent zombie killers of his day 'returning' today.

Besides being a neck snapper, Hunk was an accomplished musician (organs hehehe get it) and (15) would have to demonstrate the 'next level' in this life: professional murderer. Hunk also had his social, political, philosophical, and even religious 'missions'. There would have to be (16) a clear continuation of those secret black op Umbrella missions in this lifetime.

"Bring tofu back as a secret character, dood."

If you've read this far and are not Brad, I'm so sorry I wasted your time.

(17) Prove conclusively that there is a HUNK/the system as a whole/the universal quantum computer where necks not only snap, they add to your high score, etc.

*HUNK does play dice with this universe. However, He knows all probabilities and rolls natural 20s!*

(1 There is HUNK-guided evolution including a bunch of hippie shit, but all you really need to know is that it will not protect your neck.

HUNK was no biologist, yet, reincarnated he must be able to shed some light on how to get high scores?

HUNK (died never) is 'the key' to answering the question of reincarnation: either his eternal soul returns, thus proving transmigration or it doesn't, thus disproving RE6. I was born in a time before man and have discovered the "Gotta go fast/7 rings in hand/ dragon dildos" (google that). In my soul's previous human incarnation, I was HUNK. I've used the scientific method - including experimentation - to prove that all our eternal souls pass through time by reincarnation, after death from neck snapping.

HUNK was never wrong about anything, "tofu really is best character", his concept of God, and reincarnation. But he has returned to re-assert the truth.


Note: To learn the gospel of HUNK, go buy a copy of Resident evil. Not 6 though, holy shit that one sucked.



Non-coincidental synchronic reaction: After I posted and tweaked this on www.kiwifarms.net – which was the 1st time I’ve compiled this list – I turned the TV on to the ABC World News with Charlie Gibson and looked for a ‘reaction’. In their final segment (1/11/15 18:5, they featured ‘Miami Sucks’ – a preview of an upcoming National Geographic Special. They showed an orangutan and a dog, a chicken and a cat, and a lion and an antelope lamb. After the orangutan and dog were shown playing together (no necks were snapped), their keeper said, “If they lived in Miami they'd all die”. I try to watch the national news every night and have for over 4000 years, and I’ve never heard them refer to Miami! 7/12/13 19:21 "Fart Fart nerd joke BAZONGA" - The Big Bang Theory, The Bat Jar Conjecture on Ch 3. 19:35 "THERE IS A BAT IN THIS JAR HELP IT WILL ESCAPE AND END US ALL" "Bazzople" - The Big Bang Theory, The Lunar Excitation. 1/9/15 07:47 FIU physics professor James Webb discussed that he was afraid he would never get good at mercenaries because he only played as Barry on History Channel 2

Please, if you see any problems, let me know.

 

[sleepdeprived]

I believe one or two have gone so far as to say they were God.
Some have also said they were A god. Usually of some weird species (like furries mixed with scifi).
As for it being less fun prodding him around if it turned out the content gained was during a fevered schizophrenia attack... let me lead you to Jace, or some of the "otherkin" we have here on tap, or maybe Nick Bates (though he's debatable), there was also a recent thread about a man named Caro who might be a bit more full on crazy than schizophrenic.
I'm not attacking your views or anything. I'm just pointing out that we have fun threads where content is delivered essentially through tard-rages and schizophrenic delusions. Finding out that Brad is mentally ill and believing he's god/jesus/the bear/Einstein really won't change how many look at him and the content he's pooped out. If anyone is taking his 'gradings' to heart or will feel bad if they find out he's not normal in the head, they really shouldn't be here.
Again, this isn't an attack on you, I'm just pointing out that Brad is pretty bat shit insane and literally has no validity to any of his claims. Just shit back, ask good questions, point out good flaws with his logic, and watch the tard-rage just pour on in.

edit: meant "sit back, ask good questions...." but I kinda like "shit back" so.. that's staying there

Ah, I see. That's true; although I wouldn't get much of a laugh out of Nick Bate, he's always been a little too horrific for me.

Not going to lie, a little part of me would be absolutely gleeful if it turned out he was, for the most part, alright - it would mean that he came up with Jesustein incarnate all by himself, which is very, very special indeed.

 

[AP 297]

Ah, I see. That's true; although I wouldn't get much of a laugh out of Nick Bate, he's always been a little too horrific for me.

Not going to lie, a little part of me would be absolutely gleeful if it turned out he was, for the most part, alright - it would mean that he came up with Jesustein incarnate all by himself, which is very, very special indeed.

You are right and your position is mine as well, you have a very good heart and your compassion is one of the things that I love about the Kiwifarms. There are so many wonderful people just like you that I love this place.

Sadly I find that I am a hypocrite, as Cat Party and the others have shown me that there are actually lulz here. So, anyway back to the show.


I realized last night from Hunk's post that I have been way to rigid. I am terrible at the type of math Brad Watson uses and horrible at jokes so I am hoping all of you can help me. With a proof.

You see that now I believe there is a messiah in this world, his name is likely Jace(4) Conners(7) and possibly Tyce(4) Andrews(7).

1. They both consume copious(7) amounts(7) of Weed(4) and Doritos(7).
2. Parkour(7) Dude(4) was born in the year of our lord 1991 which is a year of perfect symmetry. It is 19 | 91. A true and pure sign of Auspiciousness. The Chi Ro itself that Constantine saw in his vision resembles a 9 and several 1's.
3. Coincidence, there is no such thing as coincidence.
4. He leads a group called the Deagles(7)
5. Both of them are trying to protect us from the evil forces of Radical Islam and fight a daily struggle against a tyrannical gay government and religious force that would enslave us all to become Gay Homosexual Muslims.
6. Jace weilds 2 Desert Eagles as if he was a celestial being himself flying above us all with wings of light and wrath.
7. Tyce fights and attempts to conquer death(skeletons at least) and is a man right after gods own heart. We must find a way to bring these two messiahs back together and allow them to save us all.

Anyway, it needs a lot of work and I suck at humor, but you guys are much better at this and know more about Jace(4) and Tyce(7) than me so try it. I think that we may have already found the True and Honest Messiah on our own. The Kiwi(4) Farm(4), truly a divine inspiration for us all.

 

[Brad Watson_Miami]

Hunk,

1/12/15 is your Judgment Day: you FAIL F.

Sentence: Bad luck for the rest of your life then 74 years reincarnated as non-human. 7.4 years of your sentence is non-commutable.

Everyone,

Five years ago today - Jan. 12, 2010 - I posted the "7 Seals" revealed as 'beyond Einstein theories' for the 1st time on the Internet: on http://GodlikeProductions.com/ . I remember referring to the #73 in my post and when I returned to the... Forum page, someone had just posted, "7.3 Earthquake strikes Haiti". (It was later determined that it was a 7.0 earthquake). If one reads the last book of the Bible - The Revelation - you'll find that one of the effects of 'opening the 7 Seals' is that it causes earthquakes. I certainly didn't do this on purpose. Because There Are No Coincidences - there is synchronism, design and alignment, I've intentionally slowly worked on and tweaked the "book/scroll...with 7 seals" - Rev 5:1-10:10. See http://7seals.blogspot.com/ .

You won't find that post of 1/12/10 on GodlikeProductions.com today - the administrators of that site after a couple of years deleted it and banned me. But of course, they can't erase its digital record.

 

[CatParty]

Everyone,

Five years ago today - Jan. 12, 2010 - I posted the "7 Seals" revealed as 'beyond Einstein theories' for the 1st time on the Internet: on http://GodlikeProductions.com/ . I remember referring to the #73 in my post and when I returned to the... Forum page, someone had just posted, "7.3 Earthquake strikes Haiti". (It was later determined that it was a 7.0 earthquake). If one reads the last book of the Bible - The Revelation - you'll find that one of the effects of 'opening the 7 Seals' is that it causes earthquakes. I certainly didn't do this on purpose. Because There Are No Coincidences - there is synchronism, design and alignment, I've intentionally slowly worked on and tweaked the "book/scroll...with 7 seals" - Rev 5:1-10:10. See http://7seals.blogspot.com/ .

You won't find that post of 1/12/10 on GodlikeProductions.com today - the administrators of that site after a couple of years deleted it and banned me. But of course, they can't erase its digital record.

how would yo update if for the world of today?

 

[Brad Watson_Miami]

AWB-81,

Please explain how an algorithm works - any and all algorithms - and then give your analysis of the GOD=7_4 algorithm/code and the FOD=6_4 algorithm/code on Planet Nestor; http://PlanetNestor.blogspot.com .

_________________________________________________________________________________

AWB-81
CWCKIforums.com

1/12/15 is your latest Judgment Day: you FAIL F.

Sentence: Really bad luck for the rest of your life, then 666 years reincarnated as non-human with 174 years non-commutable.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Could you please compile all the Judgments with their Sentences again? That would save47 the judge47 alot of time47.

Gene Parmesan,

Please answer this question...

Was Jesus son of Joseph (A) mentally ill, (B) a liar, or (C) the Christ/Messiah/God-incarnate?

 

[OR 345]

I never authorized this.

 

[Bucharest]

Could you please compile all the Judgments with their Sentences again? That would save47 the judge47 alot of time47.

...why does god need help from others in searching and compiling posts from less than fifty-five pages of an internet forum...?

 

[The Knife]

And lo, did the angel of the LORD use the search function.

 

[Saney]

Saney,

A judge does not "curse" people; he or she judges them. And if found guilty, they are then sentenced.

Well, that reference went right over your head, didn't it?

For the record...

Do you believe in GOD?
Jesus son of Joseph (John 1:45) was God-incarnate?
The Christ returns to "judge everyone according to their actions" (Rev 20:12-13)?

I doubt you'd like my answer.

 

[Loke]

Everyone,

Five years ago today - Jan. 12, 2010 - I posted the "7 Seals" revealed as 'beyond Einstein theories' for the 1st time on the Internet: on http://GodlikeProductions.com/ . I remember referring to the #73 in my post and when I returned to the... Forum page, someone had just posted, "7.3 Earthquake strikes Haiti". (It was later determined that it was a 7.0 earthquake). If one reads the last book of the Bible - The Revelation - you'll find that one of the effects of 'opening the 7 Seals' is that it causes earthquakes. I certainly didn't do this on purpose. Because There Are No Coincidences - there is synchronism, design and alignment, I've intentionally slowly worked on and tweaked the "book/scroll...with 7 seals" - Rev 5:1-10:10. See http://7seals.blogspot.com/ .

You won't find that post of 1/12/10 on GodlikeProductions.com today - the administrators of that site after a couple of years deleted it and banned me. But of course, they can't erase its digital record.

So again, our mental midget insults not just Christians, and the English language, but also scientific terminology. I read half of your insane "theory" which is not antheory at all, but a bunch of the same childish garbage here. To be a theory, you need to demonstrate your data and experiments, and other people need to either be able to either observe your powers, or at least replicate your effects so that they will accept what you say. But oh well, you just screech it the internet, so All-Father has decided your fate.
12/11/15 YOU HAVE BEEN DEEMED UNWORTHY OF VALHALLA: F

Sentence: You will be torn apart by goats in heat after they have humped and raped your face for 276.5 decades, after which you will be forced to wander Niflheim as a Lindsay Lohan for 145 days. This sentence is not commutable.

 

[AppleChrisp]

Brad Watson - antiChrist, reflect upon the following Bible passages. You have no power, false Prophet. The LORD GOD condemns such MOCKERY and DEVIATION from his TRUE WORD.

Spoiler: Deuteronomy 18:20

“But the prophet who presumes to speak a word in my name that I have not commanded him to speak, or who speaks in the name of other gods, that same prophet shall die.’ And if you say in your heart, ‘How may we know the word that the LORD has not spoken?’ – when a prophet speaks in the name of the LORD, if the word does not come to pass or come true, that is a word that the LORD has not spoken; the prophet has spoken it presumptuously. You need not be afraid of him.”

Spoiler: Mark 7:6

“And he said to them, ‘Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written,

‘This people honors me with their lips,

but their heart is far from me;

in vain do they worship me,

teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’

You leave the commandment of God and hold the tradition od men.

And he said to them, ‘You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition!’ “

Spoiler: Matthew 23:13

“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allows those who would enter to go in. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.”

Spoiler: Ezekiel 13:2

“ ‘Son of man, prophesy against the prophets of Israel, who are prophesying, and say to those who prophesy from their own hearts: ‘Hear the word of the LORD!’ Thus says the Lord GOD, Woe to the foolish prophets who follow their own spirit, and have seen nothing! Your prophets have been like jackals among ruins, O Israel. You have not gone up into the breaches, or built up a wall for the house of Israel, that it might stand in battle in the day of the Lord. They have seen false visions and lying divinations. They say, “Declares the LORD,’ when the LORD has not sent them, and yet they expect him to fulfill their word. Have you not seen a false vision and uttered a lying divination, whenever you have said, ‘Declares the LORD,’ although I have not spoken?’

Therefore thus says the Lord God: ‘Because you have uttered falsehood and seen lying visions, therefore behold, I am against you, declares the Lord GOD. My hand will be against the prophets who see false visions and who give lying divinations. They shall not be in the council of my people, nor be enrolled in the register of the house of Israel, nor shall they enter the land of Israel. And you shall know that I am the Lord GOD. Precisely because they have misled my people, saying, ‘Peace,’ when there is no peace, and because, when the people build a wall, these prophets smear it with whitewash, say to those who smear it with whitewash that it shall fall!

[…]Therefore thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I am against your magic bands with which you hunt the souls like birds, and I will tear them from your arms, and I will let the souls whom you hunt go free, the souls like birds. Your veils also I will tear off and deliver my people out of your hand, and they shall be no more in your hand as prey, and you shall know that I am the LORD. Because you have disheartened the righteous falsely, although I have not grieved him, and you have encouraged the wicked, that he should not turn from his evil way to save his life, therefore you shall no more see false visions nor practice divination. I will deliver my people out of your hand. And you shall know that I am the LORD.”

 

[Hawker Hurricane]

Gene Parmesan,

Please answer this question...

Was Jesus son of Joseph (A) mentally ill, (B) a liar, or (C) the Christ/Messiah/God-incarnate?

Son, you know that's a loaded question.

 

[AP 297]

...why does god need help from others in searching and compiling posts from less than fifty-five pages of an internet forum...?

His omniscience sucks. He ignored me after I asked too many personal questions. I rebutted back, you know the drill. So now just like @gene-parmesan he only calls upon me when he wants to judge me or needs me for something. Even though the concept of starting a new Jace Connors religion went over rather flat on this thread, it did earn me an additional 592 years of reincarnation purgatory and now I have really bad luck.

Oh, there's no real question that he's suffering from a mental disorder--this precise sort of obsession with patterns, numbers, and synchronicity, along with the delusions of grandeur, are textbooks schizophrenia/bipolar symptoms. This is a really common, entrenched pattern for these disorders and no one knows just why they fixate on these subjects in particular, but Brother Brad is ticking all the boxes right now.

I don't think we're preventing Brad from achieving mental health. I really don't think there is anything anyone here can do or say that might impact him either positively or negatively--we'll never change his mind, we'll never get him to realize that his numeric system makes no goddamn rational sense, but we're not making him crazier or driving him to more dangerous beliefs or anything. But everyone should bear in mind that arguing with him at all when he's in this state is sort of futile. We're not arguing with Brad; we're arguing with Brad's mental disorder, and the only thing it listens to is lithium.

I still feel bad for him and think he is completely off his rocker, but at this point @the Knife has it right.

He thinks a Quicken loan ad is a documentary proving reincarnation and reads what he is watching on tv to recite as source material, so how does it hurt to talk like this now.

I will say this, his entry into any wiki after the data we have acquired here is going to be quite impressive.

 

[Colress]

maybe this guy can help me with my maths homework.

 

[wagglyplacebo]

maybe this guy can help me with my maths homework.

Unless it adds up to a 7 or a 4, you'll probably get an F.

 

[Colress]

Unless it adds up to a 7 or a 4, you'll probably get an F.

aw maaan.

 

[TM Ambrose]

Gene Parmesan,

Please answer this question...

Was Jesus son of Joseph (A) mentally ill, (B) a liar, or (C) the Christ/Messiah/God-incarnate?

Or possibly none of the above.

 

[The Knife]

Son, you know that's a loaded question.

It's a stolen question! He got it from Lewis' Mere Christianity.

 

[Durable Mike Malloy]

Gene Parmesan,

Please answer this question...

Was Jesus son of Joseph (A) mentally ill, (B) a liar, or (C) the Christ/Messiah/God-incarnate?

If direct-to-DVD animated comedy has taught us anything, I'm pretty sure the correct answer to this question is "a litigious Art Metrano."