Food You're Not Really Sure Anyone Even Buys

[Itu aru kamusu tugeza]

I've honestly never seen Buddha's Hand ever in my life, at least in person. I've heard that it's the pure opposite of durian though; it's really fragrant and aromatic smelling, but you can't exactly eat it. Makes for a better organic air freshener though. I also tried buying one just for fun but these things cost like 100 bucks or so.

Thing's I've never seen anyone buy.... In terms of:

Japanese food? I've never seen anyone buy shirataki noodles for sukiyaki, azuki beans, miso or for snacks, things like melon pan, the Ito En green tea, Calpis, or the super juice with a legit preserved mini tangerine in it. Everyone else buys stereotypical crap, like pocky and choco bears, it appears... I'm in access to an Asian supermarket, and strangely there's not a whole lot of weeaboos that go down there. Then again, I think the other place across town that has more Japanese food is where they go to hangout, despite being a lot more of a pain in the ass to access normally. Then there's all of those frozen instant Japanese meals, and not even weeaboos dare to try that stuff out.

Western food? I've never seen anyone buy Hungry Man meals. The only time I ever saw anyone eat a Hungry Man meal was a Japanese tourist or overseas worker at the station legit just eating it standing up, piece by piece like normal food before the train came in. My thoughts? "Do you really think that's legit food? Do you really think we consider that real food? Yeesh..."

I've also never seen anyone buy Funyuns. They're not as well known as Doritos and Lays and considering they're onion rings, which is the second class fried finger food compared to chicken strips and fries, making them into junk food seems questionable. Even the junk food styled fries get more attention than Funyuns.

Never have seen anyone eat and enjoy fried fish with tartar sauce other than Matt Groening's inspiration for Comic Book Guy, who was a fat comic book store cashier who was mouthing down the stuff by the handful. Kind of not surprised Long John Silver's doesn't really exist anymore....

Azuki's good once in a while when I need my dumpling or doriyaki fix. It's better in mochi, but who preps that in their own kitchen anyways?

In terms of snacks though, I don't see anyone in the States ever eating Kappa Ebisen.

 

[I Love Beef]

Azuki's good once in a while when I need my dumpling or doriyaki fix. It's better in mochi, but who preps that in their own kitchen anyways?

In terms of snacks though, I don't see anyone in the States ever eating Kappa Ebisen.

I've made mochi before. Making it with Japanese rice flour and a cloth based steamer is simple as can be. You're not wrong though; it's got to be eaten fresh and I couldn't imagine making it fresh for a big party or banquet. That prep time... yeesh. You have to get the consistency right so it's not too sticky or tough, it has to be eaten by the end of the day or else it will go hard, and there's not exactly a way to store it for later, unless you like eating it like kagami mochi.

Looking up kappa ebisen, I realize now that's what those strange new snacks are I've been seeing around lately. So, shrimp chips but like cheese doodles.

Also, beef tongue I heard is also best grilled too, and marinaded before cooking.

 

[melty]

Clamato. I don't get it.

Frozen veggies are great, I'm surprised people don't like them. I always have a bunch in my freezer and put them into stews or fry them. My favorite are from trader Joe's because they have some really good combos. There's one with roasted eggplant, red peppers, and zucchini that I'll cook with a can of tomatoes, some spices, maybe some meat, and it's pretty healthy and tasty. It would be great with pasta. I keep frozen bell peppers and onions mix for fajitas. Frozen spinach for meatballs or adding to sauce.
They aren't as good as fresh for sure but they don't go bad easily and they retain most of their nutrients.
What isn't good are the microwave veggie packs like "cheesy broccoli", those are awful, tasteless and rubbery. I imagine people on poorly thought out diets are the market there.

I like trying the weird food at Asian markets. I have to limit myself because a lot of it takes prep work and other ethnic ingredients you probably don't have unless you're cooking that kind of cuisine regularly.
I had a host family in Japan that purchased those prawn chips for me. I thought it was weird and didn't want them.. what was it for? Oh, to feed birds on a tour boat! They loved them. Much later I actually tried eating them, they're ok but I probably wouldn't bother again.

I have a lambs head jelly in my fridge. I don't know what to do with it. It was a stupid tourist purchase.

I'd love for someone to explain clamato. Some kind of alcoholic mixer? Old people enjoy it, like prune juice? Some ethnicity likes it? I've seriously been wondering this for awhile.

 

[JosephStalin]

Can sympathize. I'm the only other person I know besides my ex who will touch pickled herring.

I'm actually kind of hazy on what someone even uses head cheese for. I've seen it ONCE, and no one was buying it.

I like pickled herring, now and then. Can get it pretty cheap at Costco.

 

[Lunete]

Anything from the Dollar Tree frozen section. All of that shit looks so sketchy when you look into what they actually put into it. There's a YouTuber that I used to watch (TheWolfePit, I think) who had a series dedicated to reviewing shit you find at dollar stores like them. 95% of the unheard brand shit is awful.

Those little slices of ice cream pies they sell at some dollar stores are legit good.

Boiled peanuts. My local gas station has croc pots full of these. Who buys these? Who goes to the gas station and thinks, "lets get some soggy watery peanuts to go with my Coke and Cheetos."

 

[Red Hood]

View attachment 815733
Who has ever eaten these in their life? The bags you see on the shelf are probably the same ones that have been hanging there for the last 20 years. No one eats them.
Unless you count the people who make them into Jello salad.

I tried some once. It's basically somwhere between a marshmallow and spray-in home insulation material.

Never have seen anyone eat and enjoy fried fish with tartar sauce other than Matt Groening's inspiration for Comic Book Guy, who was a fat comic book store cashier who was mouthing down the stuff by the handful. Kind of not surprised Long John Silver's doesn't really exist anymore....

Lots of people eat their fish and chips with tartar sauce. It's not bad at all, though malt vinegar is usually my preference.

 

[666DEATHGAY]

Vegetables. Like, what the fuck?

Canned meats. I see food charities hand spam over to people who just want something free to eat, but who the fuck subjects their body to that crap and pays for it?

Burger in a can.

Because the one thing bread needs, is to be sopped in grease and left in any vessel for an extended period of time, at all ever, that isn't in the wrapper of your stock everyday fast food joint.

Buddha's Hand. Basically, if a jellyfish was turned into a lemon.

View attachment 815247

Turnips, because they routinely confuse the clerks at the checkout.

• Sardines: I like fish, but the way these are sold looks gross.
• Gas station sushi: it’s Russian roulette
• Pre-cooked bacon: bacon bits are one thing, but pre-cooked bacon is lazy and looks gross. The only people I’ve seen eat it are hamplanets.
• Chia seeds: the texture is gross and I don’t know why vegans hype it up so much.

The sight of people buying prawn crackers at the oriental market makes me start questioning stuff that dangerously treads the boundaries of self-destructive nihilism.

Mountain Dew.
I refuse to believe there is people out there who like that tongue burning piece of shit.

Powdered tard cum! Seriously, what the fuck.

Limburger cheese. Legit smells like ass.

I forget sometimes that people actually buy and drink sugardrinks.

And I especially forget how much of it americans drink.

Meat spread. The thought of making a sammitch using meat with the consistency of peanut butter makes me want to gag.

That goes for instant mashed potatoes as well. Who would buy that chalky, disgusting garbage when you can buy real potatoes?

head cheese is the most rancid, abominable shit i've ever eaten and anyone who likes it should die

Sparkling water - it tastes like TV/radio static in liquid form.

I saw canned haggis a few years ago. Fucking why?

Those hot dog-in-a-jar things are pretty fucking gross too but I remember a video of the Slatons eating them so that explains that.

I've never seen anyone buy it but my local Asian market sells pigs' blood by the bucket. What the hell do people cook at home that requires this? I get the appeal of various offal/organs/strange animal parts to different ethnic groups but the pig blood confuses me.

Licorice.

I just don't understand it.

Yeah, turnips, parsnips, rutabagas, collard greens, arugula, pickled okra, boiled peanuts, any artificial sweetener, any caffeine-free, sugar-free cola, actually, any "diet" drinks or "diet" foods, period. What else....fried pork skins, the potted meat spread, goat tard cum...should I think of anything else will add it.

Not much of a fan of canned chicken noodle soup. Way back when, as a kid on a farm, had a neighbor who had several thousand chickens laying eggs. These chickens eventually stop laying eggs.

What do you think happens to these chickens? Do they just become free-range fowl, enjoying retirement? Guess again. A big truck comes with a bunch of fairly small crates. Sixteen chickens are shoved into each crate. Really nasty. You just shove them into the crate, period. Feathers flying, shit all over the place. When all the chickens are crated, the truck departs, taking the chickens to a processor for chicken noodle soup. maybe other related products.

I didn't eat canned chicken noodle soup for a very long time after that.

Bologna. No one but boomers like it, the texture is gross and it tastes like ass. Even schools have standards and give the poor kids ham sandwiches.

I know why they sell pigs head around Christmas time at my store, but I hate it. I hate looking at them, I hate seeing them cooked, I hate the way it smells, and I refuse to make tamales that way.

Serious question.

At xmas, have any of you even heard of peoiple eating fruitcake?
It's like something that was made by aliens to invade our culture.

Also in regards to spam: If you're interested in canned meat, PEK is apparently the way to go. PEK gold is apparently the least fatty (and thus the least gross). Plus they don't use mechanically separated meat.

ngl I hate cooking or any sort of food prep, sue me.
But I can slam this back and be done with veggies and fruits for the day.

Spoiler

View attachment 815701

Beef tongue. I'm pretty positive there's a use for them.
But the best I can come up with is stew.

View attachment 815733
Who has ever eaten these in their life? The bags you see on the shelf are probably the same ones that have been hanging there for the last 20 years. No one eats them.
Unless you count the people who make them into Jello salad.

Miracle whip, it's like mayonaise except instead of eggs they use high-fructose corn syrup.

Clamato. I don't get it.

Frozen veggies are great, I'm surprised people don't like them. I always have a bunch in my freezer and put them into stews or fry them. My favorite are from trader Joe's because they have some really good combos. There's one with roasted eggplant, red peppers, and zucchini that I'll cook with a can of tomatoes, some spices, maybe some meat, and it's pretty healthy and tasty. It would be great with pasta. I keep frozen bell peppers and onions mix for fajitas. Frozen spinach for meatballs or adding to sauce.
They aren't as good as fresh for sure but they don't go bad easily and they retain most of their nutrients.
What isn't good are the microwave veggie packs like "cheesy broccoli", those are awful, tasteless and rubbery. I imagine people on poorly thought out diets are the market there.

I like trying the weird food at Asian markets. I have to limit myself because a lot of it takes prep work and other ethnic ingredients you probably don't have unless you're cooking that kind of cuisine regularly.
I had a host family in Japan that purchased those prawn chips for me. I thought it was weird and didn't want them.. what was it for? Oh, to feed birds on a tour boat! They loved them. Much later I actually tried eating them, they're ok but I probably wouldn't bother again.

I have a lambs head jelly in my fridge. I don't know what to do with it. It was a stupid tourist purchase.

I'd love for someone to explain clamato. Some kind of alcoholic mixer? Old people enjoy it, like prune juice? Some ethnicity likes it? I've seriously been wondering this for awhile.

I eat these

 

[gun]

I eat these

 

[Altera the Hun]

Clamato. I don't get it.

Frozen veggies are great, I'm surprised people don't like them. I always have a bunch in my freezer and put them into stews or fry them. My favorite are from trader Joe's because they have some really good combos. There's one with roasted eggplant, red peppers, and zucchini that I'll cook with a can of tomatoes, some spices, maybe some meat, and it's pretty healthy and tasty. It would be great with pasta. I keep frozen bell peppers and onions mix for fajitas. Frozen spinach for meatballs or adding to sauce.
They aren't as good as fresh for sure but they don't go bad easily and they retain most of their nutrients.
What isn't good are the microwave veggie packs like "cheesy broccoli", those are awful, tasteless and rubbery. I imagine people on poorly thought out diets are the market there.

I like trying the weird food at Asian markets. I have to limit myself because a lot of it takes prep work and other ethnic ingredients you probably don't have unless you're cooking that kind of cuisine regularly.
I had a host family in Japan that purchased those prawn chips for me. I thought it was weird and didn't want them.. what was it for? Oh, to feed birds on a tour boat! They loved them. Much later I actually tried eating them, they're ok but I probably wouldn't bother again.

I have a lambs head jelly in my fridge. I don't know what to do with it. It was a stupid tourist purchase.

I'd love for someone to explain clamato. Some kind of alcoholic mixer? Old people enjoy it, like prune juice? Some ethnicity likes it? I've seriously been wondering this for awhile.

Clamato is most often used to be mixed in with beer and sometimes for a shrimp cocktail (source: a lot of Mexican families I know do it like this)

 

[Dokkaebi]

What about those pickled pork hocks/feet/whatever or Hormel (?) Tamales in a can? You must have a sodium poisoning death wish and/or be on the worst downward spiral to eat that shit.

 

[Varg Did Nothing Wrong]

Clamato. I don't get it.


I'd love for someone to explain clamato. Some kind of alcoholic mixer? Old people enjoy it, like prune juice? Some ethnicity likes it? I've seriously been wondering this for awhile.

You basically got it. Clamato is mostly used for alcoholic drinks as a base - you can use it for cerveza preparadas (beer-based cocktails, like Ojo Rojos) or for Bloody Mary's to give them a little bit of a twist.

 

[Death Grip]

They got in the whole spam thing because of WWII.

I loved to see real haggis in the US, but it is banned.

I'd like to try it at least. I hate when shit is banned.

Haggis - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

At least one of these companies will ship it to you. Not cheap but tastes just like the Scottish version of haggis. I seriously LOVE haggis and it makes me sad that anyone would be denied that pleasure. Also try ordering some black pudding while you are about it.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

I've never seen anyone buy Hungry Man meals

I don't mind them!

I also like funyuns, though I don't eat them often.

 

[MembersSchoolPizza]

Japanese food? I've never seen anyone buy shirataki noodles for sukiyaki, azuki beans, miso or for snacks, things like melon pan, the Ito En green tea, Calpis, or the super juice with a legit preserved mini tangerine in it. Everyone else buys stereotypical crap, like pocky and choco bears, it appears... I'm in access to an Asian supermarket, and strangely there's not a whole lot of weeaboos that go down there. Then again, I think the other place across town that has more Japanese food is where they go to hangout, despite being a lot more of a pain in the ass to access normally. Then there's all of those frozen instant Japanese meals, and not even weeaboos dare to try that stuff out.

Except for Calpis, which tastes like rancid milk (And for once, I embrace this forum's auto-correction of that term), I used and enjoy all of this stuff. Melon pan in particular I adore, I make it myself when I can be arsed. I also love almost anything stuffed full of red bean paste.

That said, I thrive in pretty much any section of an Asian market. One of my best friends is an ABC lady who has driven me way further out of my comfort zone, food wise, than I'd ever thought I'd go... and I've enjoyed most of it.

I've also never seen anyone buy Funyuns. They're not as well known as Doritos and Lays and considering they're onion rings, which is the second class fried finger food compared to chicken strips and fries, making them into junk food seems questionable. Even the junk food styled fries get more attention than Funyuns.

Ok, one. A good onion ring (And I do mean a good one, made with nice thick slices of onion and a good, like, flakey batter, not the shitty processed and formed onion slurry with bread crumb coating you get at places like Burger King) is divine, and easily holds it's own against any tendie or frie.

Two... Well, I don't defend them as great, but funyuns are ok.

Never have seen anyone eat and enjoy fried fish with tartar sauce other than Matt Groening's inspiration for Comic Book Guy, who was a fat comic book store cashier who was mouthing down the stuff by the handful. Kind of not surprised Long John Silver's doesn't really exist anymore....

Tartar sauce is good on fried fish. But so is hot sauce, or chili sauce, or vinegar, or mustard...

I like trying the weird food at Asian markets. I have to limit myself because a lot of it takes prep work and other ethnic ingredients you probably don't have unless you're cooking that kind of cuisine regularly.

A thread that was sort of like a book club, but for clueless white people in Asian markets, might be an interesting thing.

Those little slices of ice cream pies they sell at some dollar stores are legit good.

Boiled peanuts. My local gas station has croc pots full of these. Who buys these? Who goes to the gas station and thinks, "lets get some soggy watery peanuts to go with my Coke and Cheetos."

Those little pie slices (used to be, at least) one of those weird price-traps though. At one time you could buy them in two-packs at Wally World for 1.98, making them actually a couple cents more expensive at Dollar Tree. Same brand and everything. They are tasty, though.

And boiled peanuts are fantastic. But if I hadn't grown up spending a lot of my youth in the south, I probably would think they're disgusting to. You've probably got to be introduced to them at the right age. But I swear, in the 80s, every shopping plaza, grocery store, and gas station parking lot in South Carolina had a black guy with a card selling ziplock or paper baggies full of them right by the road.

 

[PL 001]

I see these at the Dollar Tree stores. Anyone ever try them? I can't imagine a dollar tree burger or chicken sandwich being particularly tasty.

 

[Sprig of Parsley]

I see these at the Dollar Tree stores. Anyone ever try them? I can't imagine a dollar tree burger or chicken sandwich being particularly tasty.

View attachment 816259

>dollar store processed meat sandwiches

Would take a brave man to eat one of those.

 

[WhoBusTank69]

I see these at the Dollar Tree stores. Anyone ever try them? I can't imagine a dollar tree burger or chicken sandwich being particularly tasty.

View attachment 816259

They're edible if you're desperate.
The burger tastes like cardboard, the Chicken is the most tolerable, the BBQ Chicken I've never tried but if it's anything like the "BBQ Rib" they used to sell it's going to give you the runs.

 

[MembersSchoolPizza]

I see these at the Dollar Tree stores. Anyone ever try them? I can't imagine a dollar tree burger or chicken sandwich being particularly tasty.

I've ate all of them, and a few that you don't have pictured.

The second-best is the "BBQ Rib" sandwich. It's got a better texture than the BBQ chicken one.

The best one is actually this one:

 

[Safir]

Beef tongue. I'm pretty positive there's a use for them.
But the best I can come up with is stew.

Boil, slice and eat with mustard or horseradish paste.

I love potted meat for small children, too bad it costs a lot. I also eat canned meat provided it has tissue (definitely no spam).

Most US candy is horrifying. Who needs this much SALT in SWEETS?

Liquid smoke is just vomit inducing. Why don't you marinate your steaks in diffusion pump oil waste instead, it's cheaper and probably healthier, too.

Bottled tea is an absurd waste of money, akin to watering the lawn with Perrier. I don't think it's disgusting per se, I just can't force myself to understand why this market niche exists.

 

[ProgKing of the North]

I see these at the Dollar Tree stores. Anyone ever try them? I can't imagine a dollar tree burger or chicken sandwich being particularly tasty.

View attachment 816259

I've spent my last dollar on these a couple times when I was drunk and hungry.

Never tried them sober, so don't know how they actually are