Jasper Carewatch - ASPCAck-Ack-Ack

[ProdigalDuke]

Apologies if this has been answered, but presumably the cat was with them when they got married in CT? Why not announce both things at the same time? Shows the dude really plans how to announce "good news" to bait in the big bucks.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

From spanking the monkey on stream to flashing his wife's pussy for $$$. What a degen bag of shit.

 

[Nina Hagen]

Does anyone doubt Phil didn't want a cat? Probably hates cats? I never heard him say a nice thing about the cats in CT, and wouldn't let Panda have a cat. And that cat didn't seem interested in him at all.

Man, I don't like defending DSP at all, but that cat was obviously not shy about exploring Phil's space and didn't act skittish or shy about contact with DSP. I'm willing to say Phil likes animals quite a lot from his frequent zoo visits and the interest he shows in the various animals while he's there. Suffer through some of Leanna's zoo vlogs for reference (no, really, don't). He doesn't know jack shit about actually taking care of a pet going by the behavior of those hamsters, but I don't think he'd willingly, knowingly abuse an animal. It's about the only non-terrible trait I'll ever attribute to him, but I hope Kat is really on the ball with how to actively take care of cats.

 

[actually]

Where on the fucking earth is the socially exceptional wife of a man who makes $100k a year working until 11pm on a SUNDAY FUCKING EVENING?

Retail.

I think the local Animal Control info needs to be listed in the OP with Pig's address in case there's signs of abuse. No animal deserves that and Pig shouldn't be able to skate that easily.

This is fine, but I really need to emphasize that nobody should waste Animal Control's time with calls unless there's actually demonstrable abuse.

Apologies if this has been answered, but presumably the cat was with them when they got married in CT? Why not announce both things at the same time? Shows the dude really plans how to announce "good news" to bait in the big bucks.

Nope, the cat was the actual reason they got someone to come to their house while they were getting secretly married in CT.

 

[Pubic Enemy #1]

The declawing definitely appealed to him. Best way to ensure it stays indoors, don't want the thing waking him up first thing in the morning when he's hungover. Won't claw your furniture because it's bored out of its mind and under-stimulated. If you're a shut-in narc sociopath I can see why a declawed cat would appeal to you.

 

[Providence Backing_21]

we all know we're only allowed to see khet once every 6 months

I wonder if she will appear for Halloween in some costume Dave picked out for reasons.

 

[soft kitty]

Aw, what an adorable little kitty!

 

[rubynutmeg]

The level of autism displayed by his retinue is truly staggering sometimes.

Imagine your kid comes to you to tell you that they need you to pay for their favourite internet people’s vet bills.

Son, I am disappoint.

It was DSP who said he'd ask his parents, not a fan.

All the people seriously thinking Phil would steal a cat, though? Yeah, that was way too autistic, even for him.

Jasper's cute, but god damn, that poor cat has to live in a pig pen. And if he's an indoor cat, that guarantees litterbox usage (which smells pretty bad after its been used and spreads all around the house - and I clean out any waste as soon as I notice my cat's have been. God knows how long DSP will leave it).

I'm still on the fence about whether or not Phil had the cat declawed, if only because of how seriously people take animal abuse. I don't know whether or not he'd be stupid enough to risk it. Plus I wouldn't put it past him to try and 'fundraise' to replace damaged furniture/electronics.

 

[der rademacher]

Aw, what an adorable little kitty!

"It is isn't it? Now tip me so I can pay his food bills!"

 

[soft kitty]

"It is isn't it? Now tip me so I can pay his food bills!"

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

 

[AckedyACK]

See, the way wheelchair fans imagine Phil deciding to adopt a cat is the following one:

"Look at all those adorable creatures, they look so lovely. I must offer one of them my home as a safe place, where we can enjoy each other's company and co-exist in a loving way. I shall care for him, and my affection shall be returned, it will be some small innocent comfort for all of us in this harsh world.

And I guess perhaps he could even hop up on stream from time to time! But I have to be careful and protect this precious little being from those evil, cruel detractors."


When in reality, we know how what really went through his head:

"Man, I could really use this thing to get more money. Everybody loves animals and especially during my financial crisis number 947, I could real subtly use it to manipulate my audience into throwing me pity bucks. I'll have it declawed so that it won't be a burden. Is there something as detonguing a cat...? No, guess not. Damn, too bad. Eh, I'll make it work, I'll just lock it up somewhere until I need it for emotional manipulation of my audience. And I can use the "detractor/troll harassment" shtick to explain the fact that I lied about it, it's perfect. This useless thing is gonna make me so much money.

And I guess perhaps I could even feed it from time to time. But I have to be careful and not waste too much of my free time on this shit, I already have so little of it."

Fans still believe Phil first and foremost saw another being in need of a home, and saw the extra income it would generate as an added bonus. When you see through his bullshit, you know for a fact it's the other way around: he saw it first and foremost as dollar signs, and then as an addition as a pet that he would have to care for.

Disgusting fucking sociopath.

 

[Anonymous Dimwit]

Phil can go the Boogie route now and use Jasper to manipulate people into donations or sympathy-on-demand (as AckedyACK said) the way Fat blob Steve does with his inbred, bug-eyed dog

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

Phil can go the Boogie route now and use Jasper to manipulate people into donations or sympathy-on-demand (as AckedyACK said) the way Fat blob Steve does with his inbred, bug-eyed dog

Calling it, in 8 months when Khet leaves, she takes with Jasper and Phil begins ranting about how he's legally got custody and she stole him and veers off into a completely unbased divorce/child custody narrative after Jasper's departure hurts his income.

 

[Royalty Free Fish Food]

This is fine, but I really need to emphasize that nobody should waste Animal Control's time with calls unless there's actually demonstrable abuse.

I agree 100%. Animal Control has an important job and their time shouldn't be wasted by spergs who want to cry wolf just for Pig. I just wanted it handy just in case so Jasper can be rescued.

DO NOT FUCK WITH ANIMAL CONTROL UNLESS THEY'RE REALLY NEEDED.

 

[MyDadIsTheBTK]

Apologies if this has been answered, but presumably the cat was with them when they got married in CT? Why not announce both things at the same time? Shows the dude really plans how to announce "good news" to bait in the big bucks.

Because that is another lie.




The cat was reported missing on April 9, 2019 22 miles north of Renton where DSP lives. DSP claims he got the cat before the marriage (early in the year when he was stressed about losing his house) and that the cat was in the shelter for a long time because no one wanted a cat that was declawed.

Guess where DSP was April 9, 2019 when the cat went missing? In CT getting married.

Early May he started talking about adopting a cat and wanting to put it in the nook where his statue area. It's more likely that he got the cat around that time.

Of course there's a chance that a cat that looks exactly like his, with the same exact name, that was missing 20 miles from where he lives is different than the one he adopted. But it's much more likely that he's lying as usual and that the cat was wearing a name tag which is why it was named Jasper at the place they adopted it.

 

[WeeblesWobble]

I find it funny how everything Phil does is a move to improve the amount of money he gets. He's had this cat for a year, and he never mentioned it once, not even on accident. Never brought up the cat's name on accident?? It'll be interesting to see how he intergrates the cat into his streams. His "stream mascot" was always some tiny little stuffed animal that kind of just sat behind him. If the cat is going to be in the room with him for hours at a time he'll have to close the door to keep it in there I assume. Hope he enjoys the smell of hot ass kitty litter in the corner of his little room.

I know I compare Phil to Max a lot but it's like two opposite ends. Phil gets a cat and makes people pay to even know he has it. Max has a dog that is literally trained to be cute and badass and is a decent part of his streams. I am so amped to see the "Katt is pregnant" announcement because that is worth at least 5k and a couple hundred subs. Maybe they got the cat as a way for Phil to practice taking care of something for when they have a kid later.

Edith my god, please be true that they found this cat and took it in. I would lose my shit lmao.

 

[gormless mumpsimus]

most beggars in the UK have dogs .........

 

[Absolute Brainlet]

That poor little kitty... Castle Burnell is gonna be its fucking grave.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Phil's cat has white paws, that missing cat does not. Unless you're accusing Phil of having the foresight to bleach the stolen cats paws white in order to throw off suspicion, it's not the same cat.

 

[Surly Muppet]

I hadn't seen it here, so I just wanted to point out that there are plenty of indications that Phil didn't want a cat, meaning this is likely another case of Kat putting her foot down.

Phil said on stream that he "didn't know the joys of cat ownership" before Jasper. His parents have several cats, so this is either a complete ass-kissing line, or he had a generally negative impression of cats before this one, because he was certainly around them. Similarly, he apparently believed that he was allergic or something, but claimed that his body 'adapted quickly' to the cat being in bed with them after several days of furious itching. That's now how that works, first of all, but secondly, this is another reason why he wouldn't want a cat. Finally, Panda bugged him endlessly when he was in a (supposed) better financial position and he refused for any number of reasons previously given by Phil himself.

So Phil is whipped and didn't want the cat initially, and, given his prior impressions, he probably insisted on finding one that was declawed. This stipulation likely caused Kat to have to browse shelters for one that she liked, that was sufficiently young, and was declawed. So if Phil's story of Jasper's Arkansas origins makes no sense, it does if you consider Kat was picky and had to find a cat that met specific criteria.

She likely also didn't want the cat pimped on stream. Phil either snuck the reveal deliberately in at a time when she was at work, or managed to talk her into it with the promise of money that he knew was coming.

I also just want to shout out the fact that you can hear audibly hear the autism in Phil's voice every time he talks about Jasper kneading.