Phil's love is motherfucking worthless.
Phil feels no responsibility to those he loves, he simply would not think to put their needs above his own and he is clearly quick to abandon anything he loves if it is no longer useful, or pisses him off. Phil will lie about love, and I am sure he can only love a thing that is, ultimately, simply a mirror of himself. He loves very few things or people. His heart is a dry, crusty thing, and stingy. If Phil's heart were a pussy, it would have cobwebs in it. Or be haunted.
But, I really can see he loves Jasper. I don't mean to say he will take good care of him, or that he did or didn't mutilate him, or that his love is worth a squirt of piss... But, yeah, he wuv him widdel Mistur Jaspurrr. Little Goldnugget really seems happy with him, and Phil showed actual, warm, unfakeable humanoid love. I know kitties, kitties are evil, if Phil was a cunt to Little Goldnugget, Little Goldnugget would just fuck him up. Phil's not even a titty streamer, he's gone straight to pussy shots. (groooooaaaaaaaannnnnn)
Now, having seen how Phil reacts to something he loves.... look at how he reacts to everything he says he loves, but clearly doesn't...
He loves the fuck out of some drama! He was transported with glee at getting to catch someone actually trying to fuck with him a little. Oh, that really got his pecker up. Best thing in ages. He'll be delighted & buzzing about that for fucking ever.
So, we've seen him act with love and bounce with enthusiasm, but his whole Soulmate gets this awkward bullshit:
I think Jasper McMoneygrab may have actually come declawed. When Phil has new information, he reports it back as it was told to him, verbatim, it seems, except for lies & embellishments; those he goes offscript. He was presenting all that shit like someone else told him. I don't know. And people do haul rescue animals all over the US to avoid kill-shelters. I also think a poor person has the right to have a pet. Not Phil, fuck Phil, but a normal poor person has the right to spend 50p of their last pound on their pet. Pets give more than the money they take. Yes, you need to care for your animals as well or better as you care for yourself, but of all the 10,000 reasons that Phil is a lying fucking cunt, I am a little sympathetic to the base idea of having a kitty. It's just every single other element of it that is a shitshow of hateful greed and fuckery.
So, welcome Agent Jasper Cashgrab, we honour you for taking this highly dangerous and unpleasant deepcover mission for us, The Mentally Ill and Immature Fucking Criminal Asshole Detractors Society*. We salute you, little man.
*I thought to make a cute acronym and shit, but fuck it.