How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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About to start uni in a week. After working close to 30 hours a week in high school plus a variety of bursaries and scholarships I got more than enough for first year which is pretty cool. On the downside I'm afraid I'll hate my major and/or hate university in general which will mean wasting a bunch of money that I can't really afford to waste. Overall just really overwhelmed at the moment
 
I'm high off my ass on life. Thinking about going to get my GED.

Get that shit. Don't think about it. Local news here had a janitor who was on point at a school who couldn't get a promotion due to lack of a GED. Motherfucker got it, got his promotion.

Always learn some shit. Just be mindful that as you get your education that you'll have dumb fucks try to force their agenda down your throat. Just apply liberal amounts of "get rekt loser" and you'll do fine.

Godspeed kiwi
 
I'm tired. I'm stressed. Bitter and judgemental. I cant keep up with my bills which leads to not being able to save anything. I've cut all my wants out but the needs are just overwhelming. Pay stays the same while cost of living skyrockets every three months. Work is enjoyable but its a dead end. All I have to be happy about at the moment is my cats. How are you doing OP.
 
I'm tired. I'm stressed. Bitter and judgemental. I cant keep up with my bills which leads to not being able to save anything. I've cut all my wants out but the needs are just overwhelming. Pay stays the same while cost of living skyrockets every three months. Work is enjoyable but its a dead end. All I have to be happy about at the moment is my cats. How are you doing OP.


I'm in your shoes. Wish I can say something other than it'll get better. But it will. Try if you can one dollar a check. Also cats are awesome.

You can do it.
 
I'm high off my ass on life. Thinking about going to get my GED.
Get it. It’s not as bad as you think. As long as you study for the Math, you should be all right. I’d study for Science, as well, as that can trip you up at times. I recommend either taking the official practice tests, or study up with Khan Academy and a Kaplan GED book. There’s also a subreddit that has resources as well. I did all of that, and passed it in one go. If I can do it, so can you.

As for my well being, I’m doing fine. Experiencing less symptoms of psychotic depression, which is a huge relief. Hoping to get vaccinated soon so I can start my way to being an EKG tech, and eventually a cardiovascular tech.
 
Get it. It’s not as bad as you think. As long as you study for the Math, you should be all right. I’d study for Science, as well, as that can trip you up at times. I recommend either taking the official practice tests, or study up with Khan Academy and a Kaplan GED book. There’s also a subreddit that has resources as well. I did all of that, and passed it in one go. If I can do it, so can you.

As for my well being, I’m doing fine. Experiencing less symptoms of psychotic depression, which is a huge relief. Hoping to get vaccinated soon so I can start my way to being an EKG tech, and eventually a cardiovascular tech.

If I knew how easy the GED was i'd have skipped HS
 
My wrist has hurt since October of last year, no idea why. Unless it's tilted downward it starts to tingle and hurt pretty much immediately. My doctor doesn't see anything provably wrong with it after taking an x-ray. So that sucks but other than that the wrist on my dominant hand hurting most of the time I'm okay.
 
Oh god I am so pissed off.

I don’t expect anyone to read all of this as it’s super long, but if you’re bored...
So I’ve had a big falling out with my neighbour. I did absolutely everything I could for her, bought her things she needed, gave her some old stuff she needed, took her shopping, bought her cat food etc. I did this with the intention of being a good neighbour, and her cat became fast friends with me. But I’m depressed/emotionally unstable, so some days I’m happy and others I’m really sad. I made her aware of this. Whatever, right? But she seemed to misconstrue my “behaviour” as being narcissistic/controlling or something because some days I’m really outgoing and other days I’m really down, and she though it was about her.

I also checked in on her on the days she was sad, as I knew she was going through a really tough time, or at least that’s what she told me. I suppose checking in on someone regularly to see if they’re still alive counts as being a stalker? I was genuinely worried. I get this can be taken the wrong way, but that wasn’t my intentions.

Recently-ish, she sent me a nasty text that said all of this horrible shit, including that I’m a narcissistic abuser etc. I have not said one mean thing to her at all. But she knows that this is the one accusation that’d hurt me the most, as I’ve grown up with narcissistic close family members who have physically/verbally/mentally/sexually abused me (it was mostly verbal and physical, but that’s irrelevant). I’ve told her this previously, so she knows. I apologised for being up and down all the time as I can’t help it, and for my family scaring her with their yelling (at me) when they visited. I reminded her I’ve told her this. She then said that my problems didn’t even compare to her so much bigger problems (some sort of DV), even though she doesn’t know the details of most of what I’ve been through and therefore cannot make that judgment.

I ended up having a mental breakdown because of this bitch, but I’m not gonna go into it in case she reads this. I know she’d enjoy it.

Then she has the hide to go talking to her crazy friends on Twitter about me - good old subtweeting - and say that I am the shitty neighbour. These people regularly feed into her delusions of a reptilian government, gangstalkers, Freemason, and 9/11 conspiracies etc, by the way.
And then she says to them that I’m stealing her cat - I’m not, btw, I just give him pets when he comes up to me when I’m outside, and I haven’t even so much as seen him for weeks - and that I’m certified psychotic.

Well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? I’m not officially diagnosed as psychotic by my current psychiatrist, by the way, but even if I was, it wouldn’t matter. She made sure to twist it for maximum sympathy points, which she hardly got. She’s using stigma from mental illness (psychosis) to somehow make me look bad. Cuz we all know psychotic people are serial killers who eat infants for breakfast or something.

She said that I creep her out. Even though she’s a creepy old lady who talks in riddles about over the top government conspiracies that no one sane actually believes in. And she says that she wants to move because of how bad I am. I hope she does, far, far away.

I know I’m not the first person she’s treated this way. I don’t appreciate her spreading info on my mental health (she mentioned I see demons, as well). I’d love to straight out doxx her but I’m not too fond of doing that to people.

In all fairness, I have been completely ignoring her, even if she talks to me. Passive aggressive, sure, but it’s better than yelling. She doesn’t deserve my attention or help at all. I suppose that’d explain the “creepiness”.
I kinda get things from her perspective, but I still think she’s a shitty human being.

Sorry for the long story, but if shit gets real this summarises what happened.
I hate living in this area. Hope I can move somewhere that doesn’t have heaps of black mould and rust.
This is pushing me way further than it should. If I end up in a mental ward I feel like in a way, it’d prove her right.
It’s already sunrise. I hope I can fall asleep soon. And, oh gosh, snore loudly!
 
So I’ve had a big falling out with my neighbour. I did absolutely everything I could for her, bought her things she needed, gave her some old stuff she needed, took her shopping, bought her cat food etc. I did this with the intention of being a good neighbour, and her cat became fast friends with me. But I’m depressed/emotionally unstable, so some days I’m happy and others I’m really sad. I made her aware of this. Whatever, right? But she seemed to misconstrue my “behaviour” as being narcissistic/controlling or something because some days I’m really outgoing and other days I’m really down, and she though it was about her.

I also checked in on her on the days she was sad, as I knew she was going through a really tough time, or at least that’s what she told me. I suppose checking in on someone regularly to see if they’re still alive counts as being a stalker? I was genuinely worried. I get this can be taken the wrong way, but that wasn’t my intentions.

Recently-ish, she sent me a nasty text that said all of this horrible shit, including that I’m a narcissistic abuser etc. I have not said one mean thing to her at all. But she knows that this is the one accusation that’d hurt me the most, as I’ve grown up with narcissistic close family members who have physically/verbally/mentally/sexually abused me (it was mostly verbal and physical, but that’s irrelevant). I’ve told her this previously, so she knows. I apologised for being up and down all the time as I can’t help it, and for my family scaring her with their yelling (at me) when they visited. I reminded her I’ve told her this. She then said that my problems didn’t even compare to her so much bigger problems (some sort of DV), even though she doesn’t know the details of most of what I’ve been through and therefore cannot make that judgment.

I ended up having a mental breakdown because of this bitch, but I’m not gonna go into it in case she reads this. I know she’d enjoy it.

Then she has the hide to go talking to her crazy friends on Twitter about me - good old subtweeting - and say that I am the shitty neighbour. These people regularly feed into her delusions of a reptilian government, gangstalkers, Freemason, and 9/11 conspiracies etc, by the way.
And then she says to them that I’m stealing her cat - I’m not, btw, I just give him pets when he comes up to me when I’m outside, and I haven’t even so much as seen him for weeks - and that I’m certified psychotic.

Well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? I’m not officially diagnosed as psychotic by my current psychiatrist, by the way, but even if I was, it wouldn’t matter. She made sure to twist it for maximum sympathy points, which she hardly got. She’s using stigma from mental illness (psychosis) to somehow make me look bad. Cuz we all know psychotic people are serial killers who eat infants for breakfast or something.

She said that I creep her out. Even though she’s a creepy old lady who talks in riddles about over the top government conspiracies that no one sane actually believes in. And she says that she wants to move because of how bad I am. I hope she does, far, far away.

I know I’m not the first person she’s treated this way. I don’t appreciate her spreading info on my mental health (she mentioned I see demons, as well). I’d love to straight out doxx her but I’m not too fond of doing that to people.

In all fairness, I have been completely ignoring her, even if she talks to me. Passive-aggressive, sure, but it’s better than yelling. She doesn’t deserve my attention or help at all. I suppose that’d explain the “creepiness”.
I kinda get things from her perspective, but I still think she’s a shitty human being.

Sorry for the long story, but if shit gets real this summarises what happened.
Here are the facts of the situation from what I could gather. You did nothing wrong and in fact, did everything correct. Sounds like the neighbor is projecting and trying to push all of her bullshit problems onto you. That doesn't mean you have to give her your energy or mental strength.

I'd recommend indulging in a hobby you enjoy and never forget that you're a good person who was just trying to help. If you were honest with your feelings at the time then you have nothing to fear. Sure some people will try and take advantage of you (it's nothing to be ashamed of it happens to a lot of people), but remember that letting them change your attitude for the worse also means that they win. Just relax and stay safe everything will eventually fall in line.
 
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