حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%
  • Total voters
    954
BOLDYSPICY! said:
I mentioned this to @Molly Ringwald & @wagglyplacebo , I think, but I'm currently working on a group picture of just about everyone in this thread. It's called "Storytiem with @The Knife ." I'm also doing one of everyone being emo because @Connor won't take our advice, & I got that idea after @Hellblazer said:
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Godspeed good sperg, I love the stuff you've posted in this thread and can't wait to see what you create next :heart-full::heart-full::heart-full:

Part 16 of Wrong Planet is brought to you by the concepts of Friendship and Growth!

Connor is such a loser he won't even take his OWN advice
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Connor, with his rich history of writing, gives advice on WrongPlanet on how to do it right (Okay, this list seems to be republished from an earlier list on the same goddamn website, but I've been doing an awful job of keeping records off-site. I'm eventually going to try cataloging everything for the eventual lolcow.wiki, but if anyone can link me to my original cap of his "WRITE MOTHERFUCKER WRITE!" post before I find it, shoot me a PM and I'll update this)
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Connor's adventures on AbsoluteWrite ended after a record three bans. This is his WrongPlanet thread where he bitches about it - making it strikingly similar to his time on the Toho forums (coming up next!) and the Kiwi Farms
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Connor describes The Breakfast Club as taking place in a "Crapsack World" filled with teenage "Jerkasses" who "Lampshade" the cynical themes of the movie into their dialog. Also, he seems to really relate to Brian, since his complaints about the characters parents are the same one he has of his own.
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And in a completely unrelated thread about a guys short story...
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Connor with another billion dollar movie idea
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Someone should pitch this slogan to jace: "CAN'T STOP THE MONSTER!"
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For anyone that doesn't know, Connor is an intellectual and deep thinker
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:c
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I'm not saying every book needs to have 100% solid reasoning and logic. House of Leaves would not have worked as well as it did if it was constrained within the realms of reality. But it worked within the realms of it's own rules - because the writer put in the work to make sure even if it didn't represent reality it represented the reality of the book. Connor using descriptions like "Reagan is still President due to some old Congressional Magic" is the epitome of lazy. If you want to write books the stand the test of time dude, don't try to emulate your hero Ed Wood
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Okay, bare with me. Connor is so redundent that I honestly can't tell if this is Realigning Evan sperging I've already posted or if it's a new basically copy/pasted thread to garner sympathy for our Special Snowflake writer (2 full pages of this thread)
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(I cut out one overly large useless advice post)
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See what I mean? Here's yet another adoption thread, posted by Connor, after being yelled at twice by mods for making adoption threads, saying the exact same shit. The only difference? This one is ten fucking pages. Something this large I'm not sure the best way to present it so... if it's a page with only 1 or 2 posts I'll crop those, otherwise I'll post the page in full. [56k warning [DOUBLE SERIOUS]]
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BOLDYSPICY! said:
but I'm currently working on a group picture of just about everyone in this thread. It's called "Storytiem with @The Knife .
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Holy jesus, good luck with that.
MysticMisty said:
He doesn't want to admit he's wrong, plus he's probably furious we don't find the idea brilliant.
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"Probably"? I'd bet my pants and my left boot that's exactly what happens, heck, I wouldn't be surprised he's bitching about us, all the time, in some corner of the internet.
 
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The Knife said:
I've repeated this so much I'm starting to sound like Jack Sparrow asking why the rum is gone, but why was the gorilla ever there?
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It was a half-assed attempt at establishing a conceit. In my scattered lolcow mind, I thought if I put a talking gorilla in the story, people would swallow the idea of a borderline-anorexic depressive becoming hot through gene therapy overnight.
Miraak said:
You're just telling us what we want to hear, you're parroting shit without acknowledging your plagiarizing, racism and boring story.
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I actually thought the whole concept of Abe was implication-y, to be honest. Yes, the story is boring and pretentious as fuck. Yes, the protagonist is a wangsty little bitch. I could go on all night about the faults of the first draft of Redesigning Eva. I sincerely regret the fact I posted excerpts of it here in such an abysmal, almost primordial state.
 
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Connor said:
It was a half-assed attempt at establishing a conceit. In my scattered lolcow mind, I thought if I put a talking gorilla in the story, people would swallow the idea of a borderline-anorexic depressive becoming hot through gene therapy overnight.

I actually thought the whole concept of Abe was implication-y, to be honest. Yes, the story is boring and pretentious as fuck. Yes, the protagonist is a wangsty little bitch. I could go on all night about the faults of the first draft of Redesigning Eva. I sincerely regret the fact I posted excerpts of it here in such an abysmal, almost primordial state.
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What about all the plagiarism that @The Knife found in your "work". There was quite a bit of it.
 
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Connor said:
It was a half-assed attempt at establishing a conceit. In my scattered lolcow mind, I thought if I put a talking gorilla in the story, people would swallow the idea of a borderline-anorexic depressive becoming hot through gene therapy overnight.
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That is not what a conceit is. A conceit is an elaborate expanded metaphor, like constantly referring to the rain as tears and then going on to explain that "the tears ran down the blind eyes of the windowpane and soaked the handkerchief of the curtains" or something.
 
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