What if DSP actually opened an authentic Italian restaurant? - All your Phil, are belong to Ramsay.

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Kermit the Frog said:
Italian food is too expensive, dood, can't afford to open an Italian restaurant. Sandwiches are cheaper which means sandwich shops are cheap to operate! Phil has a business degree and goes out to eat a lot so he knows how to operate a food establishment of any kind. And those standards he sets for himself: better than Subway (what's with his obsession of Subway anyway?). Wow, incredible, give Phil his Michelin star now.
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Pretty sure that Pig loves Subway and sub-sandwiches so much because it's literally just assembling shit together with no need to cook anything. It allows him to be lazy and he can also pretend he's healthier than the plebs as he noisily consumes like two meatball subs. Speaking of that, it also leads to various "Italian" sandwiches that you know he gets to validate to himself that he's a big strong manly man and not an antisocial, scared of his own shadow autistic Polack with an English surname.
 
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Adamska said:
sub-sandwiches so much because it's literally just assembling shit together with no need to cook anything.
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To be fair, subs are God-tier.
Pic related; it's DSP at his strongest.
 
Phil wanting to start a sandwich franchise made think on UK Top Gear season 9 USA road trip, when Clarkson buys a ham and cheese sandwich at a gas station and reads the ingredients and reads "Contains imitation American cheese"... Phil is going to run and buy the first cheese he can find at Walmart, or what ever, and call it "real Italian parmesan".
 
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Dragoonism said:
Phil wanting to start a sandwich franchise made think on UK Top Gear season 9 USA road trip, when Clarkson buys a ham and cheese sandwich at a gas station and reads the ingredients and reads "Contains imitation American cheese"... Phil is going to run and buy the first cheese he can find at Walmart, or what ever, and call it "real Italian parmesan".
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Shut up, Aspie Britbong.
 
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Dragoonism said:
Phil wanting to start a sandwich franchise made think on UK Top Gear season 9 USA road trip, when Clarkson buys a ham and cheese sandwich at a gas station and reads the ingredients and reads "Contains imitation American cheese"... Phil is going to run and buy the first cheese he can find at Walmart, or what ever, and call it "real Italian parmesan".
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how the fuck do you make imitation imitation cheese on another note, you know phil would straight order wheels of parmigiano-reggiano otherwise he's not 100% Italian
 
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Someone has probably mentioned when he made sauce and meatballs already, but Leanna "wasn't hungry" so she only had one sandwich lol ever since I have wanted to taste the despair
( • ̀ω•́ )✧
 
Adamska said:
Pretty sure that Pig loves Subway and sub-sandwiches so much because it's literally just assembling shit together with no need to cook anything. It allows him to be lazy and he can also pretend he's healthier than the plebs as he noisily consumes like two meatball subs. Speaking of that, it also leads to various "Italian" sandwiches that you know he gets to validate to himself that he's a big strong manly man and not an antisocial, scared of his own shadow autistic Polack with an English surname.
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He has a weird relationship with Subway. He still has an inordinate "hometown pride" of Subway, from when it originated as a small restaurant called "Pete's Subs" in his part of Bridgeport, CT, but he claims that when it became a nationwide franchise, it lost the good quality and only became worth it for the cheap price. Now he claims that it's a ripoff and there is a conspiracy to market "five dollar foot longs" that are not actually $5 for 1 ft of sandwich. Now he has a different favorite sub sandwich chain that he shills whenever people ask him about food; I forget what it is called.
 
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millais said:
He has a weird relationship with Subway. He still has an inordinate "hometown pride" of Subway, from when it originated as a small restaurant called "Pete's Subs" in his part of Bridgeport, CT, but he claims that when it became a nationwide franchise, it lost the good quality and only became worth it for the cheap price. Now he claims that it's a ripoff and there is a conspiracy to market "five dollar foot longs" that are not actually $5 for 1 ft of sandwich. Now he has a different favorite sub sandwich chain that he shills whenever people ask him about food; I forget what it is called.
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:lol: Oh yeah, that's right.
Phil doesn't have hometown pride in sports teams or anything, he has hometown pride in sandwich shops and greasball pizzerias.
 
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Prince Lotor said:
:lol: Oh yeah, that's right.
Phil doesn't have hometown pride in sports teams or anything, he has hometown pride in sandwich shops and greasball pizzerias.
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The official sport of the United States of Phil: Competitive Eating.
 
Sparkletor said:
The menu has no prices so the bill is a surprise like Phil's taxes.
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The place opens for 4 hours in the afternoon, then closes, and sometimes opens for 2 hours in the evening.

You have to bring your own bread, meat, cheese, condiments, and assemble the sandwich yourself because "it's not the owners job to make sandwiches."

When you pay your bill the owner sighs before loudly proclaiming how slow business has been that day

The whole place shuts down whenever the owner has to take a shit, but he will play awful remix songs while you wait at least 20 minutes outside for him to return
 
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Shambler said:
how the fuck do you make imitation imitation cheese on another note, you know phil would straight order wheels of parmigiano-reggiano otherwise he's not 100% Italian
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Phil is going to order the real thing to begin with, then to lower the cost he will import worse quality of it, then he is going swap to american made and eventually imitation from nearest Walmart!
 
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