حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Pine Tar]

Spoiler: Kiwi Farms, there's a question I've been meaning to ask you. Have you seen this woman?

@RetardBus made another shoop of Connor. This time featuring another moody anime protagonist piloting a giant robot with daddy (figure) issues.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Omg.

I actually scream-laughed when I read those posts.

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

As a writer, I

You aren't a writer, bro.

You threaten my family, you're going to be in a world of pain.

 

[Sonic Hoo]

Omg.

Confirmed: Connor watches dubbed anime.

 

[Molly Ringwald]

Omg.

But onii is big brother. Oni is a demon. Connor confirmed for monster.

 

[4Macie]

So Connor's been bitching about this girl for a while... even tried to get the forums onto her (that's rude @Connor)
The fact that he has to say "omg guys, she's totally stalking me and keeps messaging me and I added her on facebook!!" hints that she's not even real. I don't care if this girl has 10 facebook profiles. Block them. Instantly. Don't add her on a facebook, what's wrong with you. The fact that Connor DID add her on facebook proves he likes the attention. No girls ever pay attention to Connor, so he'll take what he can get (even if she's unattractive to him). He doesn't want to seem happy about it (because really, who's gonna brag that an unattractive girl likes them) so he says she's stalking him.

Has he posted an evidence that she's messaged him as much as he claims? If she's sent him PAGES in less than an hour, you'd think it'd be easy to just screenshot a few messages she's sent and show us how crazy she is....

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

I can hardly type now. I don't know what to say.

No, really. I'm crying as I type this. I really do hate myself, and other people. Most of the time, when I'm out in the world, I feel like freaking out. Sometimes, I actually think about dying. I feel like I'm just waiting for that final loss of consciousness, the ending of my story. I wonder how it might happen, when it will come, or how I might end it myself. I can barely bring myself to do anything, let alone write a coherent, meaningful post.

Wait, I just noticed. . .wait.

https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2015-2-17_19-51-9-png.16426/
https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2015-2-17_19-53-16-png.16427/

You. . .you. . .

YOU KEEP DOING THIS

WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS

Spoiler: I AM SO BLANGRY I'M GOING TO REPOST THE KILLING OF MY SYMPATHY

 

[lolwut]

But onii is big brother. Oni is a demon. Connor confirmed for monster.

If Conner is confirmed for anything, it's googling with the safe search off.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

So Connor's been bitching about this girl for a while... even tried to get the forums onto her (that's rude @Connor)
The fact that he has to say "omg guys, she's totally stalking me and keeps messaging me and I added her on facebook!!" hints that she's not even real. I don't care if this girl has 10 facebook profiles. Block them. Instantly. Don't add her on a facebook, what's wrong with you. The fact that Connor DID add her on facebook proves he likes the attention. No girls ever pay attention to Connor, so he'll take what he can get (even if she's unattractive to him). He doesn't want to seem happy about it (because really, who's gonna brag that an unattractive girl likes them) so he says she's stalking him.

Has he posted an evidence that she's messaged him as much as he claims? If she's sent him PAGES in less than an hour, you'd think it'd be easy to just screenshot a few messages she's sent and show us how crazy she is....

No, he's yet to prove she sent him anything. He's yet to prove anything. Ever.

 

[FramerGirl420]

Thank you @Smutley and @Mauvman Shuffleboard
I knew Connor had mentioned Emily in the past(by mention, I mean sperged about) and it was painful watching members I like and respect scream "TROLLSHIELD" "OMG FAKE."


Actually, I mostly love you two because you saved me the effort of digging through Connor posts to find where he talked about her.

 

[Cosmos]

I knew Connor had mentioned Emily in the past(by mention, I mean sperged about) and it was painful watching members I like and respect scream "TROLLSHIELD" "OMG FAKE."

I'm sorry for being such a newb

In all seriousness, it just felt like the whole Emily thing came out of nowhere in an attempt to get people off his back. In any case, I really don't know why he just doesn't block her ass. Didn't he say himself that they haven't met IRL?

 

[Hat]

As for Connor's views on God and religion, I honestly think it depends on how he feels. In one of Smutley's latest roundups he says that he believes in God, but in others he balks at the notion of a higher power. I'm guessing he just goes with God or no God depending on how edgy he's feeling and if it means he gets to make fun of those brainless religious sheeple.

It would seem that he's a deist, an agnostic, or a pure anti-theist depending on his mood.

Spoiler

 

[Abby]

There's no fucking way Connor has read a Faulkner novel.

 

[A Whole Block of Cheese]

So being new on this site and curious to learn of the ways to get into the off topic threads on Google I stumbled upon this kid telling a Website how sad he was that he had become a hit on this site. I was just curious to how that happened with out having to read 176 pages of post

It's worth the read.

 

[Hat]

I know that this is a few pages late, but when it was mentioned in Redesigning Eva that Connor's self-insert owned a Brother typewriter, I assumed that he meant something like this:

Spoiler

The model that Connor has, the GX-6750, is still being sold; Brother Industries still manufactures and sells typewriters, and you could probably find at least one of their models in any larger Office Depot. @The Knife was correct: Connor was ripped-off if he paid one hundred bucks for a machine that costs ninety brand-new—especially considering that you can buy an old model from the fifties for around forty dollars in most thrift shops.

 

[Kršćanin Čendlervic]

I know that this is a few pages late, but when it was mentioned in Redesigning Eva that Connor's self-insert owned a Brother typewriter, I assumed that he meant something like this:

Spoiler

View attachment 16455

The model that Connor has, the GX-6750, is still being sold; Brother Industries still manufactures and sells typewriters, and you could probably find at least one of their models in any larger Office Depot. @The Knife was correct: Connor was ripped-off if he paid one hundred bucks for a machine that costs ninety brand-new—especially considering that you can buy an old model from the fifties for around forty dollars in most thrift shops.

Or an IBM Selectric if he's willing to pay sixty whole dollars. Those things are actually kind of nice. Connor probably thinks typing on a typewriter makes him look like the guy from Misery.

 

[The Knife]

I know that this is a few pages late, but when it was mentioned in Redesigning Eva that Connor's self-insert owned a Brother typewriter, I assumed that he meant something like this:

Spoiler

View attachment 16455

The model that Connor has, the GX-6750, is still being sold; Brother Industries still manufactures and sells typewriters, and you could probably find at least one of their models in any larger Office Depot. @The Knife was correct: Connor was ripped-off if he paid one hundred bucks for a machine that costs ninety brand-new—especially considering that you can buy an old model from the fifties for around forty dollars in most thrift shops.

Look at the cost of that ribbon! $25 for film, $18 for nylon. You've essentially bought a new typewriter every four hundred pages or so. Fortunately, it would take Connor approximately twenty years to produce four hundred pages, so maybe it works out for him.

 

[KingofManga420]

There's no fucking way Connor has read.

Edited for accuracy.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

Thank you @Smutley and @Mauvman Shuffleboard
I knew Connor had mentioned Emily in the past(by mention, I mean sperged about) and it was painful watching members I like and respect scream "TROLLSHIELD" "OMG FAKE."

Aww, you could've just said so! I would've believed you! & thank you, @Mauvman Shuffleboard, for clearing that up.

I'm sorry for being such a newb

Hey, I've been here for over a year & I completely missed that, if it's any consolation. & in @Cosmos ' defense (& mine), he had pulled some trollshielding nonsense before much earlier in the thread. Only it was his "best friend" that time.

EDIT: . . .I was going to add something but I just had an exceptional moment & forgot what it was. Shit. Um, I'm tired & sorry for recycling draws. I'll do more tomorrow. Also still working on the group ones.

EDIT x2 COMBO: Oh, I think I was going to say that it figures that the one time Connor tells the truth, nobody believes him.

 

[MysticMisty]

Since Connor won't share screencaps of this woman being an apparent creeper I wonder if the real reason why he doesn't want anything to do with her is because she's overweight and therefore "unattractive".