Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Dom Cruise]

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I remember when Rian Johnson was a well acclaimed filmmakers, thanks to movies like Brick and Looper.

Pretty funny how everyone hates him now.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Also this news is a bit old but since I'm just finding out about it, it looks like many parts of Europe will have the movie released 2 days earlier than in the US, which means the movie will be spoiled to heck and back before the US release which may have a negative impact since spoilers will be likely be flooding american servers and movie lines, and the US is the most important source of SW money, since other countries barely cough up cash for the Disney Wars movie anymore except the UK. So expect some drama along with a lot of spoilers from Italians and Germans.

You know the biggest hard on we can get from this is if he also opened to shit reviews and helps the spoilers negatively impact the film.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

My guess is Doomcock was right and the Palpatine we see in the movie is just an illusion, a Palpatine Sentinel Droid from Battlefront 2 or a Holocron hologram. Or the character we think is Palpatine turns out to be Snoke in Palpy hoods who now has a robotic lower half like that shitty revived Maul, and the Palpatine we hear in trailers is just a pre-recorded message from the Wayfinders since Disney couldn't afford to actually have Ian in the movie.

View attachment 987761
It can fucking happen... and it'd be so ridiculous and disappointing that I welcome it. Although another possibility is that Disney is refusing to share images of Palpatine with Hasbro.

I love his face:

I'm not sure what it's telling me. Help me out fams:

1. Kill me
2. DUDE WEED LMAO
3. One, two, Freddy's coming for you ...

3: Piece of art from an upcoming SUPER IMPORTANT AND MUST BUY Kylo Ren comic...
View attachment 987789

Looks like fucking Guybrush Threepwood.

Not a better love story than Twilight.

...how did we get here?

Twilight

4: Some are speculating that the "original Kylo Ren" from the comic set for release after IX is actually Palpatine or Snoke. Guess they needed a way to tie up that bullshit.

Nigga the "original Kylo Ren" is Kybo Ren:

 

[Captain Hastings Official]

I remember when Rian Johnson was a well acclaimed filmmakers, thanks to movies like Brick and Looper.

Pretty funny how everyone hates him now.

It really is depressing. "Brick" is legitimately one of my favorite movies, and it was only after TLJ's release that I found out that they were directed by the same man. I'm glad I didn't know about it before it opened, because I would have been really excited. "Oh, wow, the director of 'Brick' is going to be doing the new Star Wars sequel? How exciting! Maybe he'll do some interesting, genre-twisting thing, doing something actually original with this space opera setting. Make it focus on gritty detective elements, or turn it into a genuinely tragic romance, or a 'Flash Gordon'-like festival of camp. Or just really bring to the foreground its influences, show how much of a product of '70s sci-fi it is, with overt stylistic references to Dune and Logan's Run. Oh man, for a really creative filmmaker, the sky's the limit!" I would've been looking forward to a really interesting and novel movie.

Well, I suppose Johnson would, at least, have had the pleasure of subverting my expectations.

 

[Marissa Moira]

That huge retarded space cargo ship was designed after the Blue marlin.


all it's cargo is out in the open too, but in space you can move in 3 dimensions.

they literally did this:

 

[AverageAnimeWatcher]

I remember when Rian Johnson was a well acclaimed filmmakers, thanks to movies like Brick and Looper.

Pretty funny how everyone hates him now.

It really is depressing. "Brick" is legitimately one of my favorite movies, and it was only after TLJ's release that I found out that they were directed by the same man. I'm glad I didn't know about it before it opened, because I would have been really excited. "Oh, wow, the director of 'Brick' is going to be doing the new Star Wars sequel? How exciting! ...Well, I suppose Johnson would, at least, have had the pleasure of subverting my expectations.

Yeah, come to think of it, on paper Ryan Johnson should have been great for the job. He had made two great movies and he also directed Ozymandias widely considered by many one of the best episodes of television ever produced. Prior to filming, he spends all his time saying how much he loves Star Wars.

As much as I dislike Kathleen Kenedy, in theory, this was a good pick. J.J abrams even laid the groundwork all done for him, and all he had to do was connect the dots.

The movie really just needed to set up a huge crisis that would've had to be solved in the final movie, as empire strikes back did, to get everyone excited to see how it ended. Or even how Clone Wars' ending made it feel we were one step away from the galactic empire.

Heck if he had just Luke act as a wise Jedi master, actually train Rey and pass the torch instead of devolving him to a pathetic hermit that betrayed everything he stood for, half the "fandom menace" wouldn't be after him.

What the hell, happened?

 

[Dom Cruise]

It really is depressing. "Brick" is legitimately one of my favorite movies, and it was only after TLJ's release that I found out that they were directed by the same man. I'm glad I didn't know about it before it opened, because I would have been really excited. "Oh, wow, the director of 'Brick' is going to be doing the new Star Wars sequel? How exciting! Maybe he'll do some interesting, genre-twisting thing, doing something actually original with this space opera setting. Make it focus on gritty detective elements, or turn it into a genuinely tragic romance, or a 'Flash Gordon'-like festival of camp. Or just really bring to the foreground its influences, show how much of a product of '70s sci-fi it is, with overt stylistic references to Dune and Logan's Run. Oh man, for a really creative filmmaker, the sky's the limit!" I would've been looking forward to a really interesting and novel movie.

Well, I suppose Johnson would, at least, have had the pleasure of subverting my expectations.

Yes, I remember Brick got a lot of acclaim for how unique a premise it was.

I also remember hearing that he stated that Looper was influence by the manga Domu: A Child's Dream, which shows he has pretty good taste if he's read that.

I would have not guessed he would turn out to be such a dickhead, it's a shame.

Yeah, come to think of it, on paper Ryan Johnson should have been great for the job. He had made two great movies and he also directed Ozymandias widely considered by many one of the best episodes of television ever produced. Prior to filming, he spends all his time saying how much he loves Star Wars.

As much as I dislike Kathleen Kenedy, in theory, this was a good pick. J.J abrams even laid the groundwork all done for him, and all he had to do was connect the dots.

The movie really just needed to set up a huge crisis that would've had to be solved in the final movie, as empire strikes back did, to get everyone excited to see how it ended. Or even how Clone Wars' ending made it feel we were one step away from the galactic empire.

Heck if he had just Luke act as a wise Jedi master, actually train Rey and pass the torch instead of devolving him to a pathetic hermit that betrayed everything he stood for, half the "fandom menace" wouldn't be after him.

What the hell, happened?

I'm loathe to defend him buuuuuuuuut I can kinda see what he was going for, he wanted to make the Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty of Star Wars movies.

That's a bold and potentially interesting idea, the trouble is you need to have something actually intelligent to say, instead TLJ just had a bunch of woke SJW bullshit which is not only the most idiotic tripe mankind has ever come up with, it's also very mean spirited, it's no wonder the movie left such a bad in people's mouths (like I imagine the green milk tastes)

Sons of Liberty made a lot of bold decisions that upset a lot of fans, but it actually had something intelligent to say and was not mean spirited.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

So, in December, when IX has hit cinemas in Europe, fans from the US will ask their Eurobros whether the spoilers are true, and they will answer:

 

[Miller]

4: Dr. FUCKING Aphra is getting renewed for a new run by Alyssa Wong starting in April.

Alyssa Wong? Really?!
FFS she got hired by Marvel after she made a series of tweets insulting the current editor-in-chief of Marvel Comics. Now she's in charge of every comic that has an asian character. These people are crazy.

 

[newguy]

New leaks for EPIX

 

[FlightOfTheBumbleBee]

New leaks for EPIX

That's a real leak?

 

[Adamska]

Oh, so Fall of Star Wars is getting into Europe first this time and thus giving us 48 hours of spoilers? Who's the brainlet that came up with that fucking strategy and why are they seemingly wanting to maximize the chance that this will bomb? At least open it in the US first to maximize the fleecing, it's scum business 101 for fuck's sake.

Speaking of bombing, I've actually been keeping my eye on the Joker movie's box office returns. It's come back to beat Maleficent 2 for #1 after getting bumped off, and currently sits at 850 million dollars earned. Now why is that interesting?

It's because I've been pegging EPIX as earning between 800 million to a shade over a billion (though I'm tempted to lower the bar to 750 million given the Euro-release allowing for spoilers and lowering confidence for it's opening weekend). This means that we are now reaching the point where the end of a mainline Star Wars trilogy literally loses to a fucking clown:

Alyssa Wong? Really?!
FFS she got hired by Marvel after she made a series of tweets insulting the current editor-in-chief of Marvel Comics. Now she's in charge of every comic that has an asian character. These people are crazy.

In this case, it's literally refusing to let women characters fail, no matter how shittily written they are and how much money they lose in lying about their successes. Also it's really amazing to watch as these idiots prove how racist they are by pigeonholing people into writing works based on how their ethnicity matches the character.

As for Rian still being pissy and insistent on the movies, something tells me he's feeling nervous about how his film Knives Out will do. Fun fact; I saw the trailer and I hated it just on its merits because it tries to sell the crime drama as a fucking comedy with the most offensive southern accent I ever heard. Literally dubbing over the investigator with Foghorn Leghorn would be more nuanced than what was actually spoken.

 

[Oskar Dirlewanger]

Sweet fuck, there's an entire forum dedicated to discussing, worshiping and analyzing all of the "complex, compellingly dynamic and emotionally deep layers" of Reylo.

Reyloskyforum.net

It has only about 100 users active at all times but the number of lurkers number in the thousands. They're also in a bit of denial over the leaks and reshoots or refusing to acknowledge them due to the possibility of Emo Ren dying.

Reyloskyforum.net

Also this news is a bit old but since I'm just finding out about it, it looks like many parts of Europe will have the movie released 2 days earlier than in the US, which means the movie will be spoiled to heck and back before the US release which may have a negative impact since spoilers will be likely be flooding american servers and movie lines, and the US is the most important source of SW money, since other countries barely cough up cash for the Disney Wars movie anymore except the UK. So expect some drama along with a lot of spoilers from Italians and Germans.


I'm more interested in that Will Smith pigeon movie or Jumanji 3 to be frank. Cats looks too uncanny valley for me. But if I'm forced to go see IX with some friends, I'll buy a ticket for Cats (and get them Cats tickets too...) since I found a nice theater where the usher never checks what your tickets say, unlike the one I used to go to.


I haven't heard anything confirming more reshoots, but the film is still being edited by JJ if that's anything to go by.


My guess is Doomcock was right and the Palpatine we see in the movie is just an illusion, a Palpatine Sentinel Droid from Battlefront 2 or a Holocron hologram. Or the character we think is Palpatine turns out to be Snoke in Palpy hoods who now has a robotic lower half like that shitty revived Maul, and the Palpatine we hear in trailers is just a pre-recorded message from the Wayfinders since Disney couldn't afford to actually have Ian in the movie.

View attachment 987761
It can fucking happen... and it'd be so ridiculous and disappointing that I welcome it. Although another possibility is that Disney is refusing to share images of Palpatine with Hasbro.

Anyway, here's some news.

1: Harrison Ford and Hayden Christiansen may appear as ghosts in IX which was said in one of the older leaks.

Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker Will Include At Least One Surprise Return with Hayden Christensen Reprising Anakin (aka Darth Vader), Harrison Ford Likely, Too

EXCLUSIVE Hayden Christensen is definitely redux in “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.” I am told this is confirmed, Anakin Skywalker, who became Darth Vader, is the grandfather of evil…

www.showbiz411.com

But take this shit with a hunk of salt.

2: As part of some kind of publicity stunt, Disney teamed up with Porsche to design a space ship for some reason...

Porsche And Lucasfilm Team Up To Design A New Star Wars Spaceship

I know this is all just a branding exercise conjured up by the people at Wired who like to turn people’s obsessions into money, but as far as these things go, this is a pretty fun one. Porsche designers and Lucasfilm designers teamed up to design an all-new spaceship, which will be presented at...

jalopnik.com

I miss the days when ships and tech were designed by war and military vehicle enthusiasts...

3: Piece of art from an upcoming SUPER IMPORTANT AND MUST BUY Kylo Ren comic...
View attachment 987789
Every Shipper's wet dream...

4: Dr. FUCKING Aphra is getting renewed for a new run by Alyssa Wong starting in April... I mean for fuck's sake, the sales of her shitty comic have been on a downward decline for ages. The awful Poe comic was cancelled for good despite its sales being just as bad.
View attachment 987784
Apparently she ties into all the fucking OT films, she looks like Michael Jackson and she runs around with a minor. Fuck I hope IX bombs so hard they cancel this shit along with the rest of the Marvel run.

5: Here's some footage of the crappy chase sequence on not-Tatooine 2.0 courtesy of a crappy safety ad. There's more news to share but I'll save that for another post to keep this one from getting any longer.
View attachment 987773

So do you guys agree with the theory from kaylorenloforum.com that the new soy wars toy ad is gonna be the 2001: A Space Odyssey of this generation?

 

[ZMOT]

Normies will lap this shit up, I fear, and go "It was so amazing, there were exploooooooooshuns and everyhang!"
Still, I hope that it suffers from serious disinterest after the plot and characters failed to woo people.

didn't work for transformers, 2 and a half hours of action simply wears you down, at some point you just want that shit to end. and even transformers is a better "dumb action movie" than whatever jarjar is gonna shit out.

So expect some drama along with a lot of spoilers from Italians and Germans.

just flew back from the biggest boardgame fair in the world, and there was absolutely no nuwars, or if there was it was on such a small scale I missed it completely but it's equally telling. the only thing I saw was some hasbro stuff which I assume was some stranger things tie-in (a tarkin figure and 80s design boardgame, probably OT but didn't check).

there was more fucking frozen shit than star wars (besides asmodee getting rid of boxes full of x-wing tabletop models for dirt cheap, but I highly doubt that was a promotion for episode 9. maybe a meta commentary?).

2: As part of some kind of publicity stunt, Disney teamed up with Porsche to design a space ship for some reason...

Porsche And Lucasfilm Team Up To Design A New Star Wars Spaceship

I know this is all just a branding exercise conjured up by the people at Wired who like to turn people’s obsessions into money, but as far as these things go, this is a pretty fun one. Porsche designers and Lucasfilm designers teamed up to design an all-new spaceship, which will be presented at...

jalopnik.com

I miss the days when ships and tech were designed by war and military vehicle enthusiasts...

a civilian ship or VIP would have form over function. but even the moistest star wars fan is only gonna shrug and go "eh". is disney now trying to sell the star wars brand to the 1%? they do have the money disney would like to suckle dry.

What the hell, happened?

got high on his own farts? how is knives out?
and it's one thing doing a film based on an idea and shape the movie around it (which lot of people can do, doesn't even have to be your idea and the execution doesn't even have to be good if the idea is good enough) than doing a movie in a set universe with it's own rules. TLJ fails on almost every level, be it storytelling, tone, pacing and characters.

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

Not a better love story than Twilight.

...how did we get here?

Twilight for all its cringe comes from a genuine and pure place. A disgusting place to be sure, but it's genuine. Everything ever since that era has instead been as dumb as it with none of the charm of genuine fascination and care.

 

[ZMOT]

It's a shame we didn't outright see how a shitton of rebells died in that scene, just to highlight it some more. Then again, all those guys in the trenches in front of the bunker are gone after the pointless battle, so I guess we do have a substantial bodycount.

how tho? by the garage-size hole the OH NOES WE ALL GONNA DIE cannon blew in the door? this scene will always be exceptional because finn's sacrifice would be utterly pointless anyway because even if he destroyed the cannon, then what? is the first order suddenly saying "well, cannon's gone, let's just pack up and leave"?

and don't get me started on those fucking trenches, there was zero fucking point besides some ESB memberberries. did they even bring down anything? and it's still A FUCKING HOLE, UNLESS YOU KILL THEM ALL YOU STILL GONNA DIE. the only reason they did it in ESB is to stem the tide and give the rest time to evacuate.

god that shit was stupid on so many levels...

.

Some of that is just bad writing, but I think it's also a little bit intentional. This whole theme of tearing down the old to make way for the new is more or less an analogy for how they feel western society is fundamentally bad, and must be rebuilt in a more progressive manner.

 

[Antipathy]

Oh, so Fall of Star Wars is getting into Europe first this time and thus giving us 48 hours of spoilers? Who's the brainlet that came up with that fucking strategy and why are they seemingly wanting to maximize the chance that this will bomb? At least open it in the US first to maximize the fleecing, it's scum business 101 for fuck's sake.

Speaking of bombing, I've actually been keeping my eye on the Joker movie's box office returns. It's come back to beat Maleficent 2 for #1 after getting bumped off, and currently sits at 850 million dollars earned. Now why is that interesting?

It's because I've been pegging EPIX as earning between 800 million to a shade over a billion (though I'm tempted to lower the bar to 750 million given the Euro-release allowing for spoilers and lowering confidence for it's opening weekend). This means that we are now reaching the point where the end of a mainline Star Wars trilogy literally loses to a fucking clown:

In this case, it's literally refusing to let women characters fail, no matter how shittily written they are and how much money they lose in lying about their successes. Also it's really amazing to watch as these idiots prove how racist they are by pigeonholing people into writing works based on how their ethnicity matches the character.

As for Rian still being pissy and insistent on the movies, something tells me he's feeling nervous about how his film Knives Out will do. Fun fact; I saw the trailer and I hated it just on its merits because it tries to sell the crime drama as a fucking comedy with the most offensive southern accent I ever heard. Literally dubbing over the investigator with Foghorn Leghorn would be more nuanced than what was actually spoken.

Man, Joker's got legs. I wonder if it'll still be running come December?
Either way, Rise of Soywalker might seriously lose to a sad and angry clown.
Fucking gold.

 

[The handsome tard]

how tho? by the garage-size hole the OH NOES WE ALL GONNA DIE cannon blew in the door? this scene will always be exceptional because finn's sacrifice would be utterly pointless anyway because even if he destroyed the cannon, then what? is the first order suddenly saying "well, cannon's gone, let's just pack up and leave"?

It was to buy time for them to escape, the FO would then waste vital time getting another one or finding another way in.

 

[Manwithn0n0men]

Joel Vinesauce: THE SHOCKMASTER!

I am a total mark for Shockmaster as a meme

 

[Uranus Pink]

Twilight for all its cringe comes from a genuine and pure place. A disgusting place to be sure, but it's genuine. Everything ever since that era has instead been as dumb as it with none of the charm of genuine fascination and care.

Genuine place of ripping off Warhammer Fantasy's Vlad von Carstein and Isabella von Drak and Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust.