Lolcow Robert Paul Champagne / The Try it Out Guy

Here's my picks from last nights videos:
RPC asking the important questions: Which one of the Munsters would you bang?
All of them!

Hot Burger King Storytime: Two black guys recognized him from his YouTube videos in Burger King and followed him home. Held him at knife point in the hallway and raped him but it was okay because it was super hot. They all went into his apartment and both guys fucked him up the ass using mayonnaise which he loved. He was left covered in cum and soaked in urine, best time ever!


Follow up story to the Burger King video. The idea to do a sexy Burger King video came into his head because he was in Burger King earlier. The story is definitely true and definitely happened last year. Burger King is a great place for fast ass but he still wants someone to move in full time. Whites are okay but he prefers Black/ Latino, will also accept Palestinian/ Israelis. Has a little rant about Christmas being pushed in stores and TV so early in the year, why can't we just enjoy Halloween first?


If anyone wants to come over and mutilate him that's A-Okay! He's into knives and guns (we've come a long way since 'piss on me, beat me'). Holds up a glass - if you want him to fill the glass with cum or piss and drink it that's something he can also do.


New character! Hot sexy man pussy (RPC's words not mine)


Winds himself multiple times while reciting his ad. Keeps getting distracted by the TV and forgetting what he is saying. Looking for a job, preferably in a garage or gas station doing something like night cleaning so that he can work naked.


Another ad for Lucifer's Lair featuring a nice poem

 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
Here's my picks from last nights videos:
RPC asking the important questions: Which one of the Munsters would you bang?
All of them!
View attachment 988228

Hot Burger King Storytime: Two black guys recognized him from his YouTube videos in Burger King and followed him home. Held him at knife point in the hallway and raped him but it was okay because it was super hot. They all went into his apartment and both guys fucked him up the ass using mayonnaise which he loved. He was left covered in cum and soaked in urine, best time ever!

View attachment 988247

Follow up story to the Burger King video. The idea to do a sexy Burger King video came into his head because he was in Burger King earlier. The story is definitely true and definitely happened last year. Burger King is a great place for fast ass but he still wants someone to move in full time. Whites are okay but he prefers Black/ Latino, will also accept Palestinian/ Israelis. Has a little rant about Christmas being pushed in stores and TV so early in the year, why can't we just enjoy Halloween first?

View attachment 988248

If anyone wants to come over and mutilate him that's A-Okay! He's into knives and guns (we've come a long way since 'piss on me, beat me'). Holds up a glass - if you want him to fill the glass with cum or piss and drink it that's something he can also do.

View attachment 988246

New character! Hot sexy man pussy (RPC's words not mine)

View attachment 988243

Winds himself multiple times while reciting his ad. Keeps getting distracted by the TV and forgetting what he is saying. Looking for a job, preferably in a garage or gas station doing something like night cleaning so that he can work naked.

View attachment 988239

Another ad for Lucifer's Lair featuring a nice poem

View attachment 988230
Click to expand...
Makes me realise what a mundane life I lead.
 
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Here's some videos from yesterday and Monday:

I feel like RPC should avoid red hats. He just looks too much like Mario. He does his ad but keeps talking about wanting to be mutilated literally 'Take off all the goods parts for yourself' . We're gonna hear about his murder on the news one of these days smh.

He has a sneaky wank and keeps saying 'Willy Wonka Wanka Fantasy!' Sticking with the mutilation theme too - you can break his leg or even castrate him, anything goes. Now available for birthday party appearances.

He's getting new 'dude' rags at the weekend. He's trying to become a legitimate porn actor and is looking for contacts so he can get into the industry. My highlight from this video is when he says 'You have to piss, don't go to the bathroom just piss straight down my throat'. Classy as ever.
 
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My picks from Last nights and today's videos:
RPC can't do erotic videos on YouTube anymore but he's figured out a solution; give him a call and give him your details, he'll send you a sexy video


Mafia Sex Man character, at 2:50 he recites a poem


Alright, storytime: Trick-a-weenie! (RPC's words not mine lol) 6 guys wearing balaclavas knocked on his door today looking for treats. They all had a gang bang and one of them peed all over him. Halloween party starts at 2am.

 
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CompileGentoo said:
This dude is nuts, I would be scared if I came across him in a dark alley.
In saying that, it's the funniest thing I've ever seen.
It's still sad that he seems relativly well adjusted in comparison to other lolcows and undiscovered "talent".
Click to expand...
This is now my thread for guaranteed lols, best thread to come to after reading some of the more serious threads. YouTube disagree though; RPC's channel was nuked again. I don't know if it's because they figured out he was still wanking off screen or if it's because they showed clips from his new channel on Dr. Drew after dark again yesterday. Similar thing happened when they showed his video on YMH last month.
Nuked again.png

Never fear though, he's already got a new channel up and running:

- YouTube

www.youtube.com www.youtube.com
archive.ph

Robert Champagne - YouTube

archived 2 Nov 2019 09:16:49 UTC
archive.ph

He's trying to keep it classy now so that he doesn't get shut down again. Here's the videos he's uploaded so far:

Talks about a girl in NYC who took in an attractive Latino homeless guy just like he's trying to do. This is why you shouldn't do prank calls because this is the type of person RPC is looking to help

Lucifer's Lair ad - Plz no delet my videos utoob

Cigar smoking whispering cowboy character part 1: Keeping it classy because he doesn't want his channel taken down again. Give him a call and he'll give you a private show

Cigar Smoking Cowboy Part 2: Call him and he'll send you private videos

It's a me Mario! Just chilling out sipping some brandy. Too many rules and regulations today (can't they just let this man post his wanking videos in peace?) He has another YouTube channel just for lives (I haven't found this one yet) Gives out the phone number for that channel - 347-363-5633. Storytime about his red hat. A guy from Hong Kong gave it to him when he moved in, said it was for good luck, Not happy that he put all that work into his videos and YouTube took them down. Wants to move to LA and open up an S&M bar called Lucifer's Lair featuring a bear night and a cop night.

Another red hat, this one reminds me of Smee from Peter Pan. It's getting cold out and he's looking for some dock workers to come over. Having another party tonight. Storytime, a guy called him up and asked him to put honey all over his junk and then put ants on it. Even RPC thought this was weird.

He's getting some crazy messages on his phone - I'm assuming more bug stuff, thanks Vice. He has a werewolf costume and wants someone to come over and fuck him while wearing it. He has a rant about double standards between men and women in censorship. He's just trying to portray the male fantasy.

Come on over and take some nasty pictures of him for your private stash. Lots of rubbing his body and playing with his beads. Storytime; A guy sent him a message saying he wants to kidnap RPC and tie him up in his basement with a sign saying hot white trash and wants to bring black guys down to abuse him. This man is having a new years eve party so RPC is optimistic that it might happen then. Talks about the honey guy again, apparently a 39 year old stock broker.

New Character: Bar owner of Lucifer's Lair Part 1. Role plays picking up someone at his bar. If you can't pay your bar tab with cash money he's got other ways you can pay.

Bartender Character Part 2: This is the real him, he's serious in interviews but his videos are his true and honest self. Shout out to Josh Potter. He's going to make sure Potter finds the right girl.

Chilling with his brandy, not going to go out because it's cold outside, plans to stay in and watch movies. Thinking about LA on fire - laughs. What do people think about his bar idea? Facebook sucks and he can't do the songs he really wants to in kareoke because kids might hear. Ashley comes over to say hi. Storytime: Talks about some of the bad experiences he had with previous guys he had living with him. One guy used to bring girls over and smoke weed in the hall. Another wouldn't share him and would start fights when he found RPC with other guys. He's still not afraid of anything bad happening with him opening his home for guys to come and stay. Shout out to the staff of YouTube, Facebook and Tweeter.

Nighty night from Lucifer's Lair
 
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Found his back up YouTube channel:
www.youtube.com

Robert Champagne

Lucifer's liar
www.youtube.com www.youtube.com
archive.ph

Robert Champagne - YouTube

archived 2 Nov 2019 12:31:50 UTC
archive.ph

He has two videos and given the dramatic difference in video quality he's probably using his new phone for this channel. He even named the videos. They are both just variations of his ad:



He said he's using this channel for livestreams though so I'm optimistic they will be just as outrageous as his old Instagram lives. (I don't know how to download live streams while they are happening because I am a sped when it comes to computer stuff and he posts his videos at ridiculous times for me so I dunno how well I can deliver with those).

I found some of the missing videos from the last ones I posted and just before and after his channel got nuked. Nothing particularly egregious though.

These three are from just after his channel was taken down. He's just showing some of his art to show YouTube that his channel isn't all about sex:







Apparently that's a real human skull he got from an African man who possibly robbed it from a grave

These are from before his channel was nuked:
NSFW - He's just wanking in these videos.



Mafia Sex Man Character: Rant about YouTube deleting his videos and how this was the same thing that happened with Facebook. Storytime: Talks about a guy he was with who had an 11 inch cock but it didn't work out because he was too interested in becoming famous, RPC is happier just to go with the flow. This guy had a lot of rules and RPC didn't like that, he just wants to take it easy and enjoy the ride. At 6:32 he takes a drink and says that it's urine. It's probably beer because you can see it in another video but who knows, we all know he's into piss drinking.

Alright storytime: He went to Boost to get his new phone today and met a guy who was also there to buy a phone. They hit it off and went back to the guys place. The guy fucked him up real good and it was great. Later that day he met a pimp who he also hit it off with and went back to the pimps place. They had a super hot time together.
 
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His Lucifer's lair has a rather 80's vibe to it I've noticed. I would expect a house like that to belong to a grandma who has been stuck in the past for the last 30 odd years.
*Might not be 80's decor, I'm no interior decorator!
 
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CompileGentoo said:
His Lucifer's lair has a rather 80's vibe to it I've noticed. I would expect a house like that to belong to a grandma who has been stuck in the past for the last 30 odd years.
*Might not be 80's decor, I'm no interior decorator!
Click to expand...
It was his mams apartment but she died in December last year around the time he started putting out his ad. She was in a home for a while before then and he probably couldn't bring himself to throw her stuff out. He seems really worried about people robbing his antiques too which don't look like they are worth anything to anyone else. They were probably all his mams things and he doesn't want to lose them.

Man vs persistent rat said:
Congrats on this making it out the proving grounds, I only just noticed. I suspect this will be a limited following cow, but his content is undeniably fine.
Click to expand...
Thanks, I know he's pretty niche but he's pretty funny. I haven't spotted any other lolcows that are going the wannabe porn star route.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's my pick of last nights videos from both channels:
Has a rant about Hard Rock Nick. Storytime: Talks about what it was like hanging out with porn stars in the 80's. (Doesn't name names) TL: DR: Everyone was very depressed and on drugs. He still wants to be a porn star though because his mom always said follow your heart. Really wants to do an IRL interview with Hard Rock Nick and find out what he's really like.


Alright storytime: A guy from Staten Island called, he has a garage and wants to tie RPC up in it and charge guys $2 to use and abuse him as part of an S&M carnval. $2 for 2 hours, it is to raise money for charity.

Follow up storytime about the guy from Staten Island. Getting a lot of weird calls. (Proceeds to give out his number several times) He doesn't do things with pets or kids so people can stop calling and asking him to do that stuff. Gives tips on how to talk to celebrities IRL. Talks about what a lovely woman his mom was.


Story time: Talks about a guy he moved in with before who made him do all the cleaning and laundry and treated him like a woman. It ended when the guy threw shade at him for meeting him at a bar. Looking for bar recommendations. Reminisces about the leather bar scene in the 80's. Trans and drag queens ruined it. Talks about the aids epidemic and that he lost a lot of friends to aids. The only guy he was with who had aids was Freddie Mercury (He previosly said that Mercury got aids from a drag queen and that he was with Mercury before he had aids). Shout out to Josh Potter, Christina P, Tom Segura, Hard Rock Nick and the staff of Youtube and Facebook.

NSFW - Many different torture fantasies while having a sneaky wank.

Strytime: Talks more about the guy he had living with him who kept smoking weed in the hallway. Shemar Moore is his ideal man. Talks about how one of his friends betrayed him because they were jealous of his success.

Some videos from his new channel, he's still posting wanking videos on both channel. (Countdown to YouTube nuking both channels) At 3 minutes on the second video he recites a poem. Call him for x-rated videos.



New wig. If you want to put RPC's name, address and phone number on public bathroom walls that's cool with him.
 
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Man vs persistent rat said:
I wonder how he'd handle an S&M club? Gays have high standards which may be a problem, but if the perverted fiends out there won't come to you, you might need to seek them out. It is really startling how hard a gay dude is finding getting anybody to fuck him.
Click to expand...
I'm guessing people find him creepy and avoid him. His anti trans and drag queen attitude probably doesn't sit well with the woke gays either.
 
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My picks from last nights videos :

RPC gives dating advice TL; DR: If you're gonna cheat use a separate phone and keep it with you at all times. (solid advice)

Friendly neighborhood cop Officer Cum Dump (Aims to please)

Trying to get a Pornhub channell set up so he can do the types of videos he wants to do. Don't share his videos with YMH because they show them on the podcast and it gets him in trouble and it will get them in trouble with YouTube. Shout out to Hard Rock Nick, really wants to do an IRL interview and maybe go shopping together afterwards.

Be careful who you meet online and be wary of going back to their houses (but RPC's okay, you can go back to his apartment) He had some crazy people he met online come back to his. 10 people came over at once and they had a massive orgy but he was really worried they were going to rob him so couldn't really enjoy himself.

RPC sex robot (This is my favorite character)

And finally, a motivational speech from RPC. Be your true self, don't hold back it will only drive you crazy. You wanna be cheap, be cheap. You wanna be sleazy, be sleazy, you wanna be a whore be a whore. Like him or not Donald Trump is an alpha male who takes what he wants. Morality can be good but tends to make people into zombies.
 
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At least he doesn't discriminate! As long as you're a male, you have a real chance with RPC, doesn't matter if you're black, white or latino.
I find it laughable that I was discussing with someone just yesterday about how he should set up a Pornhub, and
I wonder if he has a fetlife account.

It's great that he has idea that Youtube would be beyond their wildest dreams levels rich if they had a porn section. Ignoring the fact they already have more than enough money, YouTube porn would be towing an extraordinarily fine line moderating it's content and all.
 
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CompileGentoo said:
At least he doesn't discriminate! As long as you're a male, you have a real chance with RPC, doesn't matter if you're black, white or latino.
I find it laughable that I was discussing with someone just yesterday about how he should set up a Pornhub, and
I wonder if he has a fetlife account.

It's great that he has idea that Youtube would be beyond their wildest dreams levels rich if they had a porn section. Ignoring the fact they already have more than enough money, YouTube porn would be towing an extraordinarily fine line moderating it's content and all.
Click to expand...
He's not great with technology, I don't think he knows what fetlife is. He thinks he needs to use the two different phones for his different YouTube accounts. I dunno why he hasn't tried to set up a pornhub channel yet. Dragenlord has one and last I checked it was just videos of him and a blow up doll, I don't think rpc would get any hassle for posting his wanking videos there. It would be less funny though I think, part of the reason I find his videos funny is that he posts them on YouTube and couldn't understand why his channel was nuked, same with the Instagram lives.
 
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I'd be happy if he used Pornhub to mirror his non-wanking videos too, to ensure they don't get deleted. They're perverted enough to have PH appeal. I just hope there'd be a way to distinguish between which have dick and which don't, call me a prude :sighduck:
 
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Man vs persistent rat said:
I'd be happy if he used Pornhub to mirror his non-wanking videos too, to ensure they don't get deleted. They're perverted enough to have PH appeal. I just hope there'd be a way to distinguish between which have dick and which don't, call me a prude :sighduck:
Click to expand...
My general rule is if he's wearing a tshirt it's safe.
 
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Here's my pick of RPC's latest videos:

His cowboy character is called Hot Black Bart and he did two slavery times themed videos in this character.




Massive rant about Hard Rock Nick and Robert Fowler. I don't know who Robert Folwer is yet but RPC doxxxxes him in the second video lol. First video is mostly about how he's more famous than HRN. Second video is about how HRN is a secret arabian and a secret gay along with how both HRN and Robert Fowler are full of shit and not to be trusted. (Funniest rant so far)



Alright storytime: Some guys came over earlier and they filmed a porno. It was super hot and the guy who was filming said he was going to post it on PornHub. There's a black guy who comes to visit every so often who calls him the white devil. He sometimes brings some friends and they chant 'rape the white devil' while they take turns on RPC.

Here's RPC's impression of HRN:


Here's what HRN actually looks like:
HRN.png
Close enough.

Alright storytime: He got a call from a guy who wants to come over in May. This guy is going to bring his black friends and his two Mexican friends and they're going to book a hotel and have a big party. They're going to film a porno and mutilate RPC afterwards. RPC is looking forward to it. Had to go and film a private video for one of his regular callers.

 

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Ellesse_warrior said:
Here's my pick of RPC's latest videos:

His cowboy character is called Hot Black Bart and he did two slavery times themed videos in this character.

View attachment 1000069

View attachment 1000071

Massive rant about Hard Rock Nick and Robert Fowler. I don't know who Robert Folwer is yet but RPC doxxxxes him in the second video lol. First video is mostly about how he's more famous than HRN. Second video is about how HRN is a secret arabian and a secret gay along with how both HRN and Robert Fowler are full of shit and not to be trusted. (Funniest rant so far)
View attachment 1000092

View attachment 1000098

Alright storytime: Some guys came over earlier and they filmed a porno. It was super hot and the guy who was filming said he was going to post it on PornHub. There's a black guy who comes to visit every so often who calls him the white devil. He sometimes brings some friends and they chant 'rape the white devil' while they take turns on RPC.
View attachment 1000124

Here's RPC's impression of HRN:
View attachment 1000131

Here's what HRN actually looks like:
View attachment 1000134
Close enough.

Alright storytime: He got a call from a guy who wants to come over in May. This guy is going to bring his black friends and his two Mexican friends and they're going to book a hotel and have a big party. They're going to film a porno and mutilate RPC afterwards. RPC is looking forward to it. Had to go and film a private video for one of his regular callers.

View attachment 1000149
Click to expand...
I always assumed "sex addiction" was just a bullshit excuse for cheating spouses, but this guy is making me reconsider. Know we'd probably joke about it, but spending your entire waking existence fantasizing about sex is not in any way normal, not the way he does it, anyway.

He's putting himself at so much risk too. The guy is going to end up in pieces and his flat cleared out, and he either doesn't realise that or doesn't care. It's sad, really.

Enough moralfagging, back to the laughter: that 1970s Bavarian porn star 'tasche is outstanding, and I dunno which is funnier - his fantasies that obviously didn't happen, or that he thinks people will believe him.
 
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