Jasper Carewatch - ASPCAck-Ack-Ack

[tzgnilki]

If you need to shut your cat up in one room while you sleep (and I guess concurrently follow said cat around during the day?) because they'll "get into trouble" then your house is too fucking dirty/cluttered and you don't have enough cat-focused stuff out to keep them occupied. Cats remember what you use to play with them and will go for those things when they're bored.

I'm also digging the fact that he admitted to denying Jasper access to a litter box for ~8 hours a day because you absolutely know he doesn't keep one in his bedroom. I hope the poor thing shits all over the clothes he leaves on the floor.

i'm guessing jasper is locked up to protect his furniture, curtains and carpet etc

jasper has no play mates, and he's not allowed outside to burn extra energy cause a wild squirrel might kill him, and dave just doesn't have enough time to train or discipline a cat

I hope dave is the one who has to change the litter boxes, but he probably wears a gas mask cause he's scared of the smell

 

[Adamska]

sounds like jasper hasn't been trained not to chew shit, and dave has to be around to squirt him with water to deter him, sad

Hilariously spritzing him might make him spite chew more often because cats understand and know how to be spiteful to those they don't like. Don't help that Pig is scared of him.

 

[Sparkletor]

Why does Phil need to sleep with the door closed?

The answer is obvious. So Kat doesn't hear him snoring while she is sleeping in her room down the hall.

 

[actually]

Why does Phil need to sleep with the door closed?

The answer is obvious. So Kat doesn't hear him snoring while she is sleeping in her room down the hall.

But doesn't he also claim that she monopolizes Jasper when she's home (hence why that cat almost never shows up)? Maybe they have a custody arrangement already

 

[LiquidCancer]

Memology has a video of Jasper's crimes against Phil.

 

[Prince Lotor]

If you need to shut your cat up in one room while you sleep (and I guess concurrently follow said cat around during the day?) because they'll "get into trouble" then your house is too fucking dirty/cluttered and you don't have enough cat-focused stuff out to keep them occupied. Cats remember what you use to play with them and will go for those things when they're bored.

I'm also digging the fact that he admitted to denying Jasper access to a litter box for ~8 hours a day because you absolutely know he doesn't keep one in his bedroom. I hope the poor thing shits all over the clothes he leaves on the floor.

DSP in prestream said that he only cleans Jasper's litter boxes on his day off. They also bought Jasper "new food to try out" and "a bunch of other things too" but he made sure that it was all in context of the cat, not Kat, and not himself.

I'm glad there's more than one box, IIRC you want one box on each floor of the house for the cat, but even with one cat, you want to be changing them every day, at least every other day. His house must smell like cat piss and shit if he lets that sit for an entire week before finally scooping it.

I'm actually pretty sure a while ago when Phil was talking about how he only cleans the litter-boxes once a week on his day off, and it needed to be done, he revealed that they have multiple litter-boxes and they keep the upstairs one in the bedroom. So not only is Phil so whipped that he is forced to clean the litter-box of his wife's cat, he's also so disgusting and lazy he shuts himself up in a room with a weeks worth of cat shit to sleep. And apparently Kathy is so lazy she refuses to clean her cat's litter-box whatsoever, but to be fair I can't imagine sleeping next to Herr Pigroach would be any more or less horrific whether there was a weeks worth of cat shit in there or not.

Just imagine the pillow talk as Jasper is burying a fresh shit at 5 am.

 

[Forbidden Math]

Memology has a video of Jasper's crimes against Phil.

I'm really starting to like that cat. Maybe he was worth all the money.

 

[Sparkletor]

It's mean and stupid to lock a cat in a room. If I agreed with it, which I don't, wouldn't the solution to "cat wakes me up" be to lock in it a different room so it doesn't cause mischief overnight?

 

[tzgnilki]

It's mean and stupid to lock a cat in a room. If I agreed with it, which I don't, wouldn't the solution to "cat wakes me up" be to lock in it a different room so it doesn't cause mischief overnight?

every spare room in his house is full of pre-order bonus collectables

 

[Schmeckel]

Just imagine the pillow talk as Jasper is burying a fresh shit at 5 am.

In the Gout Palace? That would be considered an air freshener.

 

[Forbidden Math]

It's mean and stupid to lock a cat in a room. If I agreed with it, which I don't, wouldn't the solution to "cat wakes me up" be to lock in it a different room so it doesn't cause mischief overnight?

Makes me wonder how long it will take for Phil to come up with that solution.

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

Well if having a cat is like a kid, as DSP likes to say, why not you know, unfuck your shit up?.

If he is worried about chewed cables, then maybe have better cable management with some sort of plastic sleeve covers? I dunno just a suggestion there Phil.

Still waiting on him to complain about any spiders or bugs because it would help if you let your little shitter out roaming the condo at night, hunting them instead of letting it be locked up.

 

[Sparkletor]

What happens to Jasper when Phil is streaming and Kat is at work? He could be downstairs turning on the gas stove, running around with scissors, or drinking the chemicals under the sink.

Phil really needs to be a better parent

 

[Pargon]

What happens to Jasper when Phil is streaming and Kat is at work? He could be downstairs turning on the gas stove, running around with scissors, or drinking the chemicals under the sink.

Phil really needs to be a better parent

Supposing they lock him up for their "day" full of "errands", too, going by Phil's logic.

A cat suffers because DSP needs a tard wrangler to help him deal with the public. Fuck these people.

 

[Sparkletor]

I don't know about anyone else, but my cat sleeps 80% of the day. I'm never worried about leaving the cat home alone. It's most likely asleep until 5pm when it wants food.

Didn't Phil say he bought Jasper a cat tree? He can afford a cat tree but not a video game. He can afford a cat tree but can't pay the electric bill. He can buy a cat tree but Jasper sleeps on the floor in Kat's room. Quite a wise purchase.

Phil bought Jasper a "bubbling water dispenser". Why? I put my cat's water in a bowl. Each morning I dump it out and fill it up. I switch it out once a week. Oh I forgot. This is the guy who has to mark on his calender when garbage day is despite living there for five years.

"Jasper is in my closet!" I dare you to watch any of Phil's videos and find one where his closet door is open. The closet behind his loveseat where he has to actually move his loveseat to open the doors. Find one.

"Jasper was drinking water out of the bamboo plant". First of all, that's not how potted plants work. Second, if there is standing water in your potted plant, you are dumb as shit and watered it way too much. "Jasper could get sick". How would Jasper get sick? Do wild animals drink tap water or so they drink water that maybe touched dirt?

 

[That Hedonist Nerd]

I don't know about anyone else, but my cat sleeps 80% of the day. I'm never worried about leaving the cat home alone. It's most likely asleep until 5pm when it wants food.

Didn't Phil say he bought Jasper a cat tree? He can afford a cat tree but not a video game. He can afford a cat tree but can't pay the electric bill. He can buy a cat tree but Jasper sleeps on the floor in Kat's room. Quite a wise purchase.

Phil bought Jasper a "bubbling water dispenser". Why? I put my cat's water in a bowl. Each morning I dump it out and fill it up. I switch it out once a week. Oh I forgot. This is the guy who has to mark on his calender when garbage day is despite living there for five years.

"Jasper is in my closet!" I dare you to watch any of Phil's videos and find one where his closet door is open. The closet behind his loveseat where he has to actually move his loveseat to open the doors. Find one.

"Jasper was drinking water out of the bamboo plant". First of all, that's not how potted plants work. Second, if there is standing water in your potted plant, you are dumb as shit and watered it way too much. "Jasper could get sick". How would Jasper get sick? Do wild animals drink tap water or so they drink water that maybe touched dirt?

Actually, that is possible with a bamboo plant. They aren't potted in soil, they are usually in a vase with stones and then water on top - like this:

Granted, you're not supposed to fill the water all the way up to the max amount in the vase, because bamboo plants can get sick and it stunts their growth if it goes a certain level above the roots, but we know Dave is lazy as fuck and probably fills it up to the brim and only refills it when there's literally no more water left.

 

[actually]

Didn't Phil say he bought Jasper a cat tree? He can afford a cat tree but not a video game. He can afford a cat tree but can't pay the electric bill. He can buy a cat tree but Jasper sleeps on the floor in Kat's room. Quite a wise purchase.

Um, no, dood. His parents totally bought that cat tree for Jasper, their grandchild. Idiot.

 

[Banned in 49 States]

Memology has a video of Jasper's crimes against Phil.

It's amazing how much he thinks this cat has the cognitive skills of a human.

"Sometimes he lets us sleep" No he dosen't, its a cat. When it sleeps, it sleeps and when it don't they get up and fuck around because it's an animal.
Jasper don't look at you and think "hmm i should let Phill sleep, he is a hard worker" he dont care if you sleep or not.
and if you lock him in your bedroom without access to food or water he will go and look for it, nothing happens to him, he is a cat.

He is not being an asshole, he is being an animal.

He should just open the front door and let jasper run free, let nature take its course. Those squirrels are probably more suited to take care of the cat than he and his loopy mare ever will be.

 

[LiquidCancer]

On today's prestream Phil said that Jasper was in the office. Then he started yelling at Jasper and revealed that Jasper gets jealous of Phil talking to the stream so he bites the computer cords to get attention.

 

[Muppetmode]

On today's prestream Phil said that Jasper was in the office. Then he started yelling at Jasper and revealed that Jasper gets jealous of Phil talking to the stream so he bites the computer cords to get attention.

Can he not pet jasper and talk at the same time? Why is jasper only allowed in during prestream lol. Kat must be at the Jim then