Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Adamska]

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Ah yes, I member

"Put me back in the oven Jack, I'M NOT DONE YET *gobbles of anguish and the need to die*" ~ Last Year's Turkey

How do you even fuck this up? It's literally "immerse bird for X minutes at Y temperature." How the fuck do you have it raw and burned at the same time?

Crank the oven to broil and then chuck the fucker into it so you can take it out ASAP. Fat Jack can't fucking bare to not get stuffed full of meat of any kind, so he did and still does mushbrain math to try and figure out how to flashcook whatever he has on hand.

For that Raw Ribs video, jack apparently only cooked them for 15 minutes and eyeballed everything because the top looked like it was getting too brown. He judged everything on the exterior appearance.

He apparently cares so much about not burning food that he ruins the food in the first place. Normally you cover food with foil, but he doesn't do that because according to him if the food is covered with foil the heat can't get through.

How... no, seriously, how in the nine fucks can this bloated pig claim that ribs are one of his favorite fucking foods and then he does this shit? How in the fuck can he even be able to claim that he loves barbecue when he pulled this shit off?

I'm not even mad... I'm just saddened and baffled.

 

[desudesu]

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image for reference



That tattoo still disgusts me every time I see it.
It looks like Jesus got hit with a driveby acid attack.

Upon closer inspection, it seems that the Jesus tattoo is some sort of lion(?)-Jesus hybrid? Furry Jesus? Man the Scalfani's one weird bunch. It's also odd that Jack Jr. is still in such an amicable relationship with Fat Jack given how he was treated during his childhood. (or did I get confused with the other Jack spawn?) Edit: it's Garrett, the older brother, that got strangled.

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

There's a better shot of it here:

it says a lot about how far removed people like the Scalfanis are from the bible, orthodox Jews don't get tattoos because they think the mutilation of their bodies will doom them to burn in hell, and then you get people like Jack Jr. who not only get one, but a huge, tacky, poorly done one. A temple, indeed...

 

[Aaway]

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Upon closer inspection, it seems that the Jesus tattoo is some sort of lion(?)-Jesus hybrid? Furry Jesus? Man the Scalfani's one weird bunch. It's also odd that Jack Jr. is still in such an amicable relationship with Fat Jack given how he was treated during his childhood. (or did I get confused with the other Jack spawn?)

jack's older son garrett was the one who he choked out until his nose bled

not jack jr

 

[foodiebloobie]

I'm just waiting for the day I visit kiwi and see the notice that he has finally passed.

 

[Aaway]

i love the google search suggestions when you look up jack

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

Some restaurants in Japan have printed instructions in English telling people to savor and enjoy the delicate flavor of meat/fish and not drown it in sauce. I can only assume this is for the benefit of hefty individuals like Jack who can't taste anything unless it is swimming in BBQ sauce.

I wait for the moment when Jack takes a bite and right after that he takes a huge gulp right out of the BBQ sauce's bottle.

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image for reference

Is that picture from him auditioning for Trailer Park Boys?

 

[Religion is Dead]

There's a better shot of it here:

it says a lot about how far removed people like the Scalfanis are from the bible, orthodox Jews don't get tattoos because they think the mutilation of their bodies will doom them to burn in hell, and then you get people like Jack Jr. who not only get one, but a huge, tacky, poorly done one. A temple, indeed...

They aren't Jews though, they're some fucked up Southern Baptist sect with a murderer for a minister.

 

[Begemot]

There's a better shot of it here:

it says a lot about how far removed people like the Scalfanis are from the bible, orthodox Jews don't get tattoos because they think the mutilation of their bodies will doom them to burn in hell, and then you get people like Jack Jr. who not only get one, but a huge, tacky, poorly done one. A temple, indeed...

Might it be as Aslan reference from the Chronicles of Narnia?

 

[Charlie Delicious]

I must say, this Mac and cheese video is one of the least offensive videos I've seen of his in

“Nobody else does sandwiches wrapped in lettuce.”

“When you don’t have the bread, it’s like you can taste more of the sandwich.”

The video ends with Jack Junior getting weird with Papa Salmonella’s neck.

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5:03

"If you need ledrfraps"

 

[waffle]

Char siu called. Looks like a Chinese number.

What ignorant suburban trash you are, Jack.


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Sprinkling food dust on meat is truly an art form, guise

Wait a minute! Is this jack admitting that he constantly has to drown his ribs in sauce because they are always uncooked?

 

[Rabbit Bones]

Might it be as Aslan reference from the Chronicles of Narnia?

Nah. Jesus fursona is a lion according to a lot of religious people for whatever reason, which doesn't make a lot of sense to me, considering he always got called the lamb of God. But I guess a sheep man tattoo isn't as cool to a mouth breather like Jack Jr as a big scary lion.

 

[Ohlongjohnson]

Fuck off Fatass, Korean barbeque is leagues better then the fucking 10 second ribs you shit out . just because you don't slather your shit flavored BBQ sauce on it, doesn't mean its not bland. I bet he's the type that puts ketchup on his steak.

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

" ledrfraps"

ENHANCE!

 

[Whatthefuck]

Nah. Jesus fursona is a lion according to a lot of religious people for whatever reason, which doesn't make a lot of sense to me, considering he always got called the lamb of God. But I guess a sheep man tattoo isn't as cool to a mouth breather like Jack Jr as a big scary lion.

There's a reference in the book of Isaiah. It has several translations, but the gist is that the Messiah would come and lion (meaning war, strife, whatever) would lie down with the lamb (meaning the Messiah or Jesus who was the lamb without stain that was sacrificially killed, blah, blah). In some biblical translations it refers to a wolf living with a lamb, that sort of thing.

Let's just say, Jack, Jr. is a dumb redneck who probably doesn't even know what it means.

 

[Adamska]

The lion thing is from the term the Lion of Judah, a Jewish thing (the term coming from how in the 12 tribes, Judah's symbol was a lion) that is then applied to Jesus because he's descended from David's line of the Kingdom of Judah, as well as the fact that some of the many tardramblings in Revelation has the term in it as well. It's the same way we pulled Satan out of our asses theologically; fanfiction mixed with misrememberings of even older shit and ex cathedra statements from random theologians.

Jr. though picked it because he and his white trash family are reduced to ooking and eeking about their qualities as being holier and better than others as they deny their crippling eating disorders and the fact they all need to get their shit kicked in by angry former waiters.

 

[Aaway]

rare shot of jack sporting a full beard. complete with a fucking nightmare before xmas snapback

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

fucking nightmare before xmas snapback

He's a Slaton in spirit for sure.

 

[Charlie Delicious]

Creole Butter Injected Cajun Smoked Turkey (Pit Boss) - THANKSGIVING

TWO THINGS YOU CAN DO AFTER WATCHING MY VIDEO 1. SHOP AT MY STORE HTTP://AMAZONJACK.STORE 2. BUY MY SAUCES & SEASONING HTTP://COOKINGWITHJACK.COM Jack's mott...

youtu.be

Watch Jack rip apart a cooked Turkey with his bare hands!

Still saying "wet" instead of "moist"

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

Creole Butter Injected Cajun Smoked Turkey (Pit Boss) - THANKSGIVING

TWO THINGS YOU CAN DO AFTER WATCHING MY VIDEO 1. SHOP AT MY STORE HTTP://AMAZONJACK.STORE 2. BUY MY SAUCES & SEASONING HTTP://COOKINGWITHJACK.COM Jack's mott...

youtu.be

Watch Jack rip apart a cooked Turkey with his bare hands!

Jack front loads a cooking video with 1 and a half minutes of half-remembered bullshit regarding COPPA
"There's some website you can go to called your voices or something, where you can sign a petition, or something. To maybe get Youtube to give us some warning, that would be nice, instead of looking for a payday. So anyways, come on in close, we're doing turkey day."
ugh

Jack: "Since I hurt my arm, I've needed these sheers"
Hah, eating yourself into a stroke is just "my arm got hurt".
Nice retcon you lying sack.

Jack: "This seasoning is hot, for me, I've got the hot kind, that I never used, that would be even worse."
Even worse?
Meaning this is bad, right?
I guess so, he eats a bit of the skin and the camera just fades away with no reaction, then he's immediately eating a piece of white meat and saying THAT tastes good.
It seriously looks like the seasoning turned out disgusting and Jack just doesn't want to admit it.

Again, no recipes or directions in the description, but at the end he does say:
"The whole procedure works. Inject with butter, season with cajun seasoning, let it sit for a little bit, and then smoke it."
Ugggghhh, and he licks his fingers in a way so disgusting I audibly groaned, and then he puts his fat hand up to the camera and says "WANNA LICK!" Fuck you, Jack.