Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

I thought it was pretty mediocre, felt like a filler episode.
A filler episode for an already admittedly filler series, to be fair.

My only real gripe was the fight between the Mando and that one chick was a little dumb. She punched a the guy in the head while he was wearing a metal helmet and she didn’t even cry out in pain or anything. Remember when Obi-Wan tried kicking Grievous in Revenge of the Sith?
 
New episode of the Mandalorian was good.
I forgot that AT-STs were supposed to be intimidating. The lady bounty hunter chick was cool. The villagers turning the tables on the raiders was pretty rad too. Last episode was better.
I liked the episode too but I've already seen that story in TCW. That said, I really like the way the show portrays some well-established elements like the B2 droids or the AT-ST in a more realistic, scarier way.
If Anita still pretends to watch Star Wars, she must have creamed her panties when the Strong Woman™ beat the shit out of Mando.
 
I was thinking is Rey the absolute distillation of every single thing SJW culture is all about?

She’s utterly sexless, even Leia had the slave girl bikini, but could you imagine actually trying to bust a nut to her? I’m not talking sexy fan art, I’m talking as she is in official media.

Can you even picture her naked at all? With nipples and a vagina? Or is she like a Barbie doll under her clothes?

I’m not saying every female character has to be absolute wank fodder, but Rey represents the opposite extreme that is honestly fucking creepy, it makes her seem less human, it’s not healthy or natural for a female character to be as utterly sexless as her, again compare her to Leia, an actual strong female character you can also see as a sexual being, because that is just a natural and healthy aspect of women.

But beyond all that she’s perfect at everything, never has to struggle to succeed, replaces white male characters in their own stories and don’t need no man.

She’s the avatar of the pop cultural apocalypse.
 
Alright, lets play a game. You get to take one retconned character and add them to ep 9, they can do 1 action that would make you love the movie despite how shit it is. Only rule is they cant completely swerve the plot of the whole movie.

I pick Durge, and id have him kill a fuck load of storm troopers and captain phasma exactly like in the old clone wars cartoon.

Jar Jar Binks.

Jar Jar is playing holo chess with Chewbacca. Jar Jar wins. Chewbacca gets mad and rips Jar Jar's arms off. The next 10 minutes is Jar Jar running around spraying blood from his dismembered limbs. Then He falls over, dead.
 
Alright, lets play a game. You get to take one retconned character and add them to ep 9, they can do 1 action that would make you love the movie despite how shit it is. Only rule is they cant completely swerve the plot of the whole movie.

I pick Durge, and id have him kill a fuck load of storm troopers and captain phasma exactly like in the old clone wars cartoon.
My character from the SWTOR mmo. Played it with my dad when it first came out and we both were cool Sith dudes. Everytime my dad would AFK I would manage to angle my character in such a way that it looked like he was looking out the screen directly at you. That would be his role in the movie; a previously unknown Twilek sith lord that just hangs out in the background staring at the viewers, almost as if to say "you really payed for this?"
 
My character from the SWTOR mmo. Played it with my dad when it first came out and we both were cool Sith dudes. Everytime my dad would AFK I would manage to angle my character in such a way that it looked like he was looking out the screen directly at you. That would be his role in the movie; a previously unknown Twilek sith lord that just hangs out in the background staring at the viewers, almost as if to say "you really payed for this?"
>Every shot, no matter what angle or scene, he's standing in the exact same position. Always staring.

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I want to see this version of the film.
 
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I was thinking is Rey the absolute distillation of every single thing SJW culture is all about?

She’s utterly sexless, even Leia had the slave girl bikini, but could you imagine actually trying to bust a nut to her? I’m not talking sexy fan art, I’m talking as she is in official media.

Can you even picture her naked at all? With nipples and a vagina? Or is she like a Barbie doll under her clothes?

I’m not saying every female character has to be absolute wank fodder, but Rey represents the opposite extreme that is honestly fucking creepy, it makes her seem less human, it’s not healthy or natural for a female character to be as utterly sexless as her, again compare her to Leia, an actual strong female character you can also see as a sexual being, because that is just a natural and healthy aspect of women.

But beyond all that she’s perfect at everything, never has to struggle to succeed, replaces white male characters in their own stories and don’t need no man.

She’s the avatar of the pop cultural apocalypse.
Thing about Rey that makes her doomed from the start, even if you replaced Ridley with someone of actual talent and screen presence, and hell even if you strip out the dumb SJW shit, is that the character was conceived from the getgo as a cringy as fuck "metaphor for the lonely Star Wars fans" by KK.

This is why her entire fucking character is just a flat "Oh I heard all the stories about the original trilogy and and and I want to find my place in this universe and stuff" and is why her whole "journey" reads like a fucking on-rails theme park ride where she is shunted through the "classic" scenes and meets and is immediately and unquestioningly embraced by classic characters like she is a fucking 4 year old meeting Disneyland mascots.

And like any number of "cinematic audience participation" style rides, as she is quickly sped through nostalgia bait scene after nostalgia bait scene, she automatically gains all needed experience and skill and magical powers to progress the ride along without effort or question, eventually culminating in her finding out that her place in this universe is achtcully at its very heart and that she is infact its future....which would correspond to the end of the proverbial ride when the announcer congratulates the visitor on being the bestest and greatest hero he ever saw and snapping an overpriced photo with the cast and the caption of "Best Jedi Ever".

This alone dooms the character to absolute fucking worthlessness for obvious reasons....but when combined with a truly godawful actor and KK and co deciding to latch autistic SJW shit about how she is "THE INSPIRATION TO ALL LITTLE GURLS AND WAMMEN EVERYWHERE!" and ranting about how those who critique her are "bigoted manbabies who dont want wammen in star wars" then the character becomes truly and memetically terrible.
 
Thing about Rey that makes her doomed from the start, even if you replaced Ridley with someone of actual talent and screen presence, and hell even if you strip out the dumb SJW shit, is that the character was conceived from the getgo as a cringy as fuck "metaphor for the lonely Star Wars fans" by KK.

This is why her entire fucking character is just a flat "Oh I heard all the stories about the original trilogy and and and I want to find my place in this universe and stuff" and is why her whole "journey" reads like a fucking on-rails theme park ride where she is shunted through the "classic" scenes and meets and is immediately and unquestioningly embraced by classic characters like she is a fucking 4 year old meeting Disneyland mascots.

And like any number of "cinematic audience participation" style rides, as she is quickly sped through nostalgia bait scene after nostalgia bait scene, she automatically gains all needed experience and skill and magical powers to progress the ride along without effort or question, eventually culminating in her finding out that her place in this universe is achtcully at its very heart and that she is infact its future....which would correspond to the end of the proverbial ride when the announcer congratulates the visitor on being the bestest and greatest hero he ever saw and snapping an overpriced photo with the cast and the caption of "Best Jedi Ever".

This alone dooms the character to absolute fucking worthlessness for obvious reasons....but when combined with a truly godawful actor and KK and co deciding to latch autistic SJW shit about how she is "THE INSPIRATION TO ALL LITTLE GURLS AND WAMMEN EVERYWHERE!" and ranting about how those who critique her are "bigoted manbabies who dont want wammen in star wars" then the character becomes truly and memetically terrible.

What's interesting is that from a character standpoint her original setup wouldn't have been hard to save by all accounts and make way more interesting. Here, I'll do one right the fuck now:

Have her still be a junker and salvager on the planet, and have her still being someone of simple means, but have her have some agency. She's not just salvaging trash to sell, she's self-taught and has a goal in mind. Have her have salvaged an old Y-Wing or something with an Astromech socket, and have her be trying to get the fuck off the planet she's on, but the ship isn't finished enough for high altitude flight yet and even if it was, she wouldn't be able to leave because ships this old don't have nav computers so she can't use the Hyperdrive. She'd also need an astromech.

When BB8 first appears, have Rey initially interested in him specifically because he's an astromech, not because of anything greater. The little guy is literally a ticket off that world if she can fix the rest of the ship. Have the trader offer her a quite literal king's ransom in return for BB8, something that she'd get legitimately tempted by. Does she abandon the dream for the sake of living in the lap of luxury for the rest of her days? Why the hell does the trader want the little bugger so much? It sets up a good momentary conflict and helps establish her flaws, and her strengths, since she'd ultimately side with BB8.

When Finn arrives, have it be less of a chase off planet and more of a race against time. Finn needs to get back to friendly territory ASAP with the First Order hot on his heels, and needs to stay off the radar while doing it. Rey overhears and hey, she's got a ship almost ready, so she offers to take him to the planet in question if he helps her with the final batch of repairs. This can even lead to some humorous overtones to the OT, if slightly subverted. Rey gets the ship ready, maybe talks about being abandoned, gets excited when she hears Finn's with the resistance even if he's lying, it can even set up some interesting interplay with BB8 and Finn.

When she meets up with Han, have the circumstances be very different; the two meeting, more-or-less, by accident when refueling (and repairing) her Y-Wing for the 99th time. Han realizes she reminds him of Luke in quite a few ways, and talks to her about him. Having a bit of a nerd-out, Rey asks about what happened, how the First Order rose to power, and why Han's in the middle of buttfucked nowhere. All this helps lead to better character and world building, and sets it up so that if you really must kill Han off in the movie, it has a much bigger impact on Rey.

Characterization-wise, I'd have Ray a bit more naive, but also way more hard-edged. She's initially distrustful of people but also kind of idealistic. She's been abandoned by her parents so she's somewhat weird around people she doesn't know well, and tends to focus more on the immediate than on the long term, not always to her benefit. With those she actually cares about, she's incredibly trusting, which can make for some interesting developments. She wants to do good but she's not above some minor selfishness as I posited in BB8's example, though she eventually does legitimately befriend him.

She's really good with tech and frequently can come up with unorthodox solutions to problems; her ship is a Frankenstein's monster of engineering under the hood, with parts from almost a dozen Imperial vessels that were never intended to be shoved in the frame of an old Alliance Y-Wing, but which have been and the results work, though they're as finicky as they are powerful and Rey often has to crawl around on top of the thing to get it working between flights. Have her show some force sensitivity, but not really know anything about the force beyond that it existed.

The way I did it accomplishes a few things: It allows for growth, it establishes her as having skills, it parallels her to the original characters without huge amounts of overlap, we get a grasp of her strengths and flaws, we use her to get a grasp of what the situation is in the universe right now, and we get our first taste of the adventure to come. All good things, and I really didn't need to do a fuck of a lot to make it happen.
 
What's interesting is that from a character standpoint her original setup wouldn't have been hard to save by all accounts and make way more interesting. Here, I'll do one right the fuck now:

Have her still be a junker and salvager on the planet, and have her still being someone of simple means, but have her have some agency. She's not just salvaging trash to sell, she's self-taught and has a goal in mind. Have her have salvaged an old Y-Wing or something with an Astromech socket, and have her be trying to get the fuck off the planet she's on, but the ship isn't finished enough for high altitude flight yet and even if it was, she wouldn't be able to leave because ships this old don't have nav computers so she can't use the Hyperdrive. She'd also need an astromech.

When BB8 first appears, have Rey initially interested in him specifically because he's an astromech, not because of anything greater. The little guy is literally a ticket off that world if she can fix the rest of the ship. Have the trader offer her a quite literal king's ransom in return for BB8, something that she'd get legitimately tempted by. Does she abandon the dream for the sake of living in the lap of luxury for the rest of her days? Why the hell does the trader want the little bugger so much? It sets up a good momentary conflict and helps establish her flaws, and her strengths, since she'd ultimately side with BB8.

When Finn arrives, have it be less of a chase off planet and more of a race against time. Finn needs to get back to friendly territory ASAP with the First Order hot on his heels, and needs to stay off the radar while doing it. Rey overhears and hey, she's got a ship almost ready, so she offers to take him to the planet in question if he helps her with the final batch of repairs. This can even lead to some humorous overtones to the OT, if slightly subverted. Rey gets the ship ready, maybe talks about being abandoned, gets excited when she hears Finn's with the resistance even if he's lying, it can even set up some interesting interplay with BB8 and Finn.

When she meets up with Han, have the circumstances be very different; the two meeting, more-or-less, by accident when refueling (and repairing) her Y-Wing for the 99th time. Han realizes she reminds him of Luke in quite a few ways, and talks to her about him. Having a bit of a nerd-out, Rey asks about what happened, how the First Order rose to power, and why Han's in the middle of buttfucked nowhere. All this helps lead to better character and world building, and sets it up so that if you really must kill Han off in the movie, it has a much bigger impact on Rey.

Characterization-wise, I'd have Ray a bit more naive, but also way more hard-edged. She's initially distrustful of people but also kind of idealistic. She's been abandoned by her parents so she's somewhat weird around people she doesn't know well, and tends to focus more on the immediate than on the long term, not always to her benefit. With those she actually cares about, she's incredibly trusting, which can make for some interesting developments. She wants to do good but she's not above some minor selfishness as I posited in BB8's example, though she eventually does legitimately befriend him.

She's really good with tech and frequently can come up with unorthodox solutions to problems; her ship is a Frankenstein's monster of engineering under the hood, with parts from almost a dozen Imperial vessels that were never intended to be shoved in the frame of an old Alliance Y-Wing, but which have been and the results work, though they're as finicky as they are powerful and Rey often has to crawl around on top of the thing to get it working between flights. Have her show some force sensitivity, but not really know anything about the force beyond that it existed.

The way I did it accomplishes a few things: It allows for growth, it establishes her as having skills, it parallels her to the original characters without huge amounts of overlap, we get a grasp of her strengths and flaws, we use her to get a grasp of what the situation is in the universe right now, and we get our first taste of the adventure to come. All good things, and I really didn't need to do a fuck of a lot to make it happen.

Look literally essentially every fan fic writer comes up with a better take on the character and the PT ideas
 
Regarding SW, I guess the only thing to look forward to in 2020 is that we have to put up with Iger’s bullshit for one more year since it’s out by 2021.
 
I think it all depends on how IX does. If it does extremely well, they might move to making shows in the Sequel era. If it does badly or otherwise underperforms, they'll probably make shows in the OT and PT eras for max member berries, put completely new shit on ice, and in a few years announce a KOTOR movie/show or something. Either way, they already said they're putting the movies on ice for a bit, and no matter your opinion on how Star Wars is now I think that's the right decision.
 
I just realized something about this poster:
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That mysterious black lady to the right of Chewie? That's probably the as-of-yet-unseen sister to Finn.

MORE LEAKS CONFIRMED.
God I hate this poster. Lets break it down from a visual standpoint.
1: Leading Lines are FUCKED. A good picture uses hard lines to guide your eyes along it naturally. This one though... You start at the bright spot on Rey's lightsaber and move down, then hits Ren's lightsaber. All good? NOPE! Cause...
2: Framing. Framing, along with Leading Lines, sets up what the viewer is going to see. The framing is Rey's lightsaber and the exhaust of the Falcon, and Kylo's lightsbaer and the red stormtroopers. This means that,
3: EVERYTHING IMPORTANT IS NOT SEEN. The framing and lines mean you will first see that ugly as fuck alien, then finn, then 3PO, glance right over Ren (His light on his helmet causes you to visually consider it PART of the frame,then hit Poe, and the mystery woman. Your eye naturally travels down to the stuff outlined in red so you see the Stormtrooper with the oversized helmet and some tie fighters. Your eye is not naturely drawn to ANYTHING else.

Rey, Ren, and the Knights of Ren are ALL out of frame. They become visual background noise you have to deliberately look at to see anything.
 
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