Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[Doctor Jizzmopper]

I have a lot more respect for Uwe Boll now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1ajzcGsLaA

And now you know why Lowtax has no neck and back, Uwe Boll spun his head around too much in 2 minutes.

 

[downloads]

And now you know why Lowtax has no neck and back, Uwe Boll spun his head around too much in 2 minutes.

The idea that Boll punched Lowtax into being a cripple is extremely funny to me. I hope it was worth the free flight you dingus

 

[AmpleApricots]

Boll should come back and finish the job. I'd buy that for a tenner!

 

[GenociderSyo]

Then in 2010 or there abouts, there was some goon who did a Let's Play of Dagan Rompa, a glorified Japanese Visual Novel that was an irrelevant rip off of Phoenix Wright. The game was released on PSP, and didn't have an English translation, so this Let's Play thread was pretty much the ONLY place you could find out anything about the game. For anime reasons, it was really popular on Tumblr, and Lowtax threw up the paywall on the thread (only registered accounts could view it). This caused much wailing and nashing of teeth as sadbrains complained about being broke, but large numbers of them registered so they could get their Japanese Anime Highschool Murder Fix.

This influx is what terminally fucked SA, they are the snowflakes that caused the avalanche that's left us with SomethingWoke.

That is pretty much glorious that that was the catalyst....Never would have expected Let's Plays to be its downfall considering the other stuff happening on it.

 

[NavyGuzzler]

Didn't Lowtax try and claim this whole thing was BS because Uwe said it was just a joke and then proceeded to destroy him?

As much as I liked watching Uwe destroy Lowtax, it should be noted that despite the tough talk, Boll did not even respond to Seanbaby, the one applicant who had a
good chance of beating his ass. I believe one of the opponents who did get chosen actually had some minor boxing training and/or amateur experience, but it was pretty obvious that Boll only picked dudes whose asses he knew he could easily beat.

 

[Jack Awful]

As much as I liked watching Uwe destroy Lowtax, it should be noted that despite the tough talk, Boll did not even respond to Seanbaby, the one applicant who had a
good chance of beating his ass. I believe one of the opponents who did get chosen actually had some minor boxing training and/or amateur experience, but it was pretty obvious that Boll only picked dudes whose asses he knew he could easily beat.

I believe the one person with any actual boxing experience that Boll fought was a 17 year old.

 

[Irrelevant]

Didn't Lowtax try and claim this whole thing was BS because Uwe said it was just a joke and then proceeded to destroy him?

I think everyone expected it to be a joke. The modern equivalent would be something like Sargon challenging Null to a fight and Null agreeing because it'd be funny to juke around a delusional old fat guy. Then on the day it turns out Sargon is hustling and has boxing experience and wants to legit punch his critics.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

And by making it serious, Uwe made it a funnier joke than Richard has ever told in his entire life.

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

I just noticed this in the replies on Lowtax's FB.

View attachment 1029675

It would take a heart of stone not to deeply belly laugh at this.

 

[Humble Shitpost Merchant]

As much as I liked watching Uwe destroy Lowtax, it should be noted that despite the tough talk, Boll did not even respond to Seanbaby, the one applicant who had a good chance of beating his ass. I believe one of the opponents who did get chosen actually had some minor boxing training and/or amateur experience, but it was pretty obvious that Boll only picked dudes whose asses he knew he could easily beat.

Well, if you really think about it, Boll was merely employing clever strategy by focusing his power on the weakest of his enemies rather than the strongest. Much like Sun Tzu Boll was merely fighting smarter, not harder, to demoralize the many foes who outnumbered him by a wide margin.

From that perspective Lowtax was not merely weak, but also stupid and bumbling, and thus deserved to die.

 

[AprilRains]

From that perspective Lowtax was not merely weak, but also stupid and bumbling, and thus deserved to die.

don't need no fancy ass Sun Tzu to come to that conclusion

 

[AnOminous]

I think everyone expected it to be a joke.

It was a joke, though. Richard just didn't understand he was meant to be the butt of it.

 

[Pointless Pedant]

Right, so why they would even read this thread is a mystery. It’s about an old guy and his two decades of running a dead gay forum.

Paying to use a forum was rare even in the early years of SA.

I actually think the weird “everything should be free” and “I’ll never pay” mentality on the Internet has got us into a bizarre mess. If the platform is free then the owners are just going to use other methods to make the site profitable or cover costs.

I think Lowtax had a decent, working business model for many years. The ability to buy custom titles for others was great idea. For about a decade the SA user base was consistently creating the best content on the web - for free- so he was doing something right. Too bad he fucked it up entirely by deciding his time was too valuable to bother with professional tech staff or supervising his crazy moderators.

Rant about

Spoiler

I’d happily pay a small fee to a site I enjoy using and to avoid data mining, sponsored content, ads and lots of speds. FB, Twitter and YT comments are a great examples what a totally free public platform entails putting up with. You put up with a lot of bullshit and wasted time for “free” shit online.

I gave Lowtax ten bux years ago and got years of use out of the forums. I regularly blow more than ten bux for a crappy meal or movie that lasts two hours. I gave Null money because I felt like he provided a good forum and i should compensate that. I’ve only paid money to use SA, KF and some archival research material database services. In every case I felt i got a lot more out of the platform than what I paid.

I’m always amazed at the outrage with the
“FB is going to start charging and I’ll leave” boomer memes. That people would rather participate in 1984 surveillance, tolerate ads and give up their online privacy rather than spend a few measly bucks for something they find useful is baffling to me. Or people who proudly spend hours to get a download a crappy copy of a movie instead of paying $2.99 to just watch the licensed high quality version.

What do you think about this site's model?

 

[PTNR 2.0]

Wild to think that, but for a few (very) bad but easily preventable decisions, SA could have been a HUGE deal, highly profitable and still super relevant. Lowtax passed on everything from Zero Punctuation to Million Dollar Extreme to Welcome to Night Vale (and probably about half a dozen other things I'm forgetting) and disaffected goons have created everything from Weird Twitter to Chapo Trap House to 4chan to Let's Play culture that itself saw the birth of shit like Twitch and AGDQ. All of this could have been owned, branded or leveraged in some way or another under Something Awful and Lowtax could have been a very wealthy man with more mangosteen and 1000 dollar chairs than you can shake a stick at.

Unfortunately, literally every time opportunity knocked, Lowtax was too fat, gay, drunk, malevolent, high on Ambien, unwilling (but not unable) to pay and/or completely incapable of taking anything seriously EVER (just like he is compulsively spraying unfunny OmG sO wAcKy "humor" all over his divorce as we speak) to answer. Him running off to Utah to fuck a 20 year old goonette with Borderline while his 30 year old illegal immigrant wife with Borderline sits at home with their daughter and no car, job, or family all the while his 40 year old ex-wife with Borderline cashes those sweet Patreon shekel child support checks is fucking AMAZINGLY on brand for the complete inability to make even remotely smart decisions he's become known for over the last 20 years.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

From that perspective Lowtax was not merely weak, but also stupid and bumbling, and thus deserved to die.

Well, he is slowly killing himself via bad choices in crazy women.

Wild to think that, but for a few (very) bad decisions, SA could have been a HUGE deal, highly profitable and still super relevant. Lowtax passed on everything from Zero Punctuation to Million Dollar Extreme to Welcome to Night Vale (and probably about half a dozen other things I'm forgetting) and disaffected goons have created everything from Weird Twitter to Chapo Trap House to 4chan to Let's Play culture that itself saw the birth of shit like Twitch and AGDQ. All of this could have been owned, branded or leveraged in some way or another under Something Awful and Lowtax could have been a very wealthy man with more mangosteen and 1000 dollar chairs than you can shake a stick at.

Unfortunately, literally every time opportunity knocked, Lowtax was too fat, gay, drunk, malevolent, high on Ambien, unwilling (but not unable) to pay and/or completely incapable of taking anything seriously EVER (just like he is compulsively spraying unfunny OmG sO wAcKy humor all over his divorce as we speak) to answer. Him running off to Utah to fuck a 20 year old goonette with Borderline while his 30 year old illegal immigrant wife with Borderline sits at home with their daughter and no car, job, or family all the while his 40 year old ex-wife with Borderline cashes those sweet Patreon shekel child support checks is fucking AMAZINGLY on brand for the complete inability to make even remotely smart decisions he's become known for over the last 20 years.

It became obvious that Lowtax was jealous of SA members who had more talent or better ideas than he did. If he couldn’t be part of the idea, a co-creator or didn’t understand the subject then he wasn’t interested.

His ego made him blind to the obvious - he could have made millions being a curator of comedy and niche content. He wanted the byline, not the guy behind the scenes making money. It also explains his dedication to the front page instead of forums.

What do you think about this site's model?

That Null has had to bust his ass, sacrifice, deal with endless BS and move to Eastern Europe to keep it free and open to the public.

If SA had to deal with even 1/10 of the shit Null has dealt with to keep KF running in the current era, SA would have been shuttered ages ago. I think much of SA’s decline is thanks to Lowtax giving in to the forces that try to kill KF. He made SA part of the problem instead of standing his ground. It is easier to capitulate than bust your ass fighting for the right to mock idiots online.

 

[thx1138]

"Malevolent". I think that's a great synonym to use. Malevolent. Every time in the past that the goon hive has opened up to the free world or Lowtax has used a platform other than his own, e.g., social media, and someone has suggested something helpful to the something awful sphere, he's gotten nasty and sarcastic at them. "Hey Rich maybe if your forums were a bit more friendly to people with different opinions, you know, there's some actual communists who moderate them and - " HEY WOW HOLD UP GOOF TROOP LOL THIS IS A COMEDY WEBSITE BACK OFF OKAY HERE'S ME BEING TOTALLY IRONICALLY NOT IRONIC MAD AT YOU FOR SAYING THAT!!!111ONEONEELEVELTWELVEBBQOMG. "Hey Rich, it's great you're pairing with Mike from MST3k and Cinematic Titanic! You should bankroll this and you could - " WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SIR I'M GOING TO YELL OBSCENITIES ON STREAM AT THE CALM CHRISTIAN DUDE REEEEEEEE I'LL SIC MY ATTORNEY LEONARD "J" CRABS ON YOU LOLOLOLOLOL.

It's like doing .025% of work is such anathema to him he flips out and becomes immediately hostile towards any positive suggestions, he would rather beg for pity money, let the tankies continue to run his forums and siphon money off of bpd wrecks who will willingly pay $90 for a "full access account" (until they step out of line and get banned and then pay it again) than do any work.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

It became obvious that Lowtax was jealous of SA members who had more talent or better ideas than he did.

The funny part is that his ideas were never that good to begin with. As much as he supposedly hates memes, his ideas were disposable meme humor that was guaranteed to age poorly. His ideas were always stupid and impulsive and it’s not surprising that he ran the boards that way. Even the worst meme crazes held up better than LOL GRANDMA, Doom House, and Leonard J Crabs.

 

[repentance]

The funny part is that his ideas were never that good to begin with. As much as he supposedly hates memes, his ideas were disposable meme humor that was guaranteed to age poorly. His ideas were always stupid and impulsive and it’s not surprising that he ran the boards that way. Even the worst meme crazes held up better than LOL GRANDMA, Doom House, and Leonard J Crabs.

I remember "image macros" being banned at one stage. Whether you love memes or hate them, Lowtax has never been able to read the room properly and capitalise on trends making an early appearance on SA.

 

[Zaryiu]

I have a lot more respect for Uwe Boll now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1ajzcGsLaA

You got to admire someone willing to not back down from defending their work from clowns like Low-T even if said work was shit (gives me the impression that Boll cared about his work unlike Low-T), it also helps Uwe Boll went on to become a better film maker (I heard positives opinions on his Rampage and Tunnel Rats movies, might be others that weren't shit) while Kyanka became even more of a unfunny joke

 

[Coolio55]

I remember "image macros" being banned at one stage. Whether you love memes or hate them, Lowtax has never been able to read the room properly and capitalise on trends making an early appearance on SA.

[IMG-TIMELINE], the famous outlawed macro...