Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[neverendingmidi]

Wow... its almost as if its possible to make tasty non-meat food that isn't just vegetables on a plate or something that requires some soy-based processed garbage or some disgusting mystery/impossible "meat". Like why is this so hard for them? And why try so hard to pander to a minority? If Hindus don't want to eat beef or jews don't want to eat pork, then they can you know, eat something else instead of converting the entire menu into some mystery fake meat crap that no one, especially the majority, will want. Also how fucking exceptional do you have to be to make a cookbook that tells you to make baked goods in a microwave instead of an oven? This is all kinds of lazy and gross.



More hollow pandering for brownie points just like his other claim that TFA would please the BBQ crowd despite doing nothing in the film itself, instead making some dumbass tweet comparing haters to racists and writing on some dumb card that said "it don't matter if you're male, female, black, white, jawa, wookiee, etc, just watch my movie you damn goys" all just for the sake of virtue signaling and getting progressive good boy points while getting any criticisms labeled as racist or bigoted, which worked. Fuck this guy. Also if Frozen 2 couldn't get away with this shit, there's no way PoeFinn shit is ever happening if they don't want to lose Chinese and middle eastern audience (parts of the middle east and Turkey have a major hard on for Disney Wars), then again, Disney probably plans to edit out and deceive said audiences. Also fuck this bullshit about trying to ground Star Wars to reality. We already have hundreds of war films grounded in reality, all of which are infinitely better than your schlock JJ, so I might as well watch Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence or Apocalypse Now instead of your forced realism crap JJ, and if I want to see real life, I'll just go outside, not watch a fucking space opera trying to do the exact opposite of its intended goal of escapism. I want aliens and space opera fantasy, not a bunch of diversity cast humans with no aliens doing jack shit nobody cares about in a generic war plot written by gated Hollywood idiots who don't know the first thing about armies or wars.

Anyway, here's the next recipe.

View attachment 1036045
Its based on some stupid background bottle from TFA that Yellow Yoda owned. Disney lore claims its named after the Chadra-Fan (the little bat-headed aliens from A New Hope's cantina scene). FYI its just blue cheese and vinegar. This is supposed to be the new kid-friendly Disney canon replacement for what Chadra-Fans like in their food and drinks, despite that in old canon Chadra-Fans liked blood in their foods and drinks. This is the second kid-friendly edit in regards to Chadra-Fans.

This recipe was written by someone who has never cooked. I mean holy shit. "1/2 teaspoon dried mixed herbs, such as oregano or marjoram" Jesus Fucking Christ, different herbs have different fucking flavors. Even dried for fucks sake. Pick an actual spice mix you can get at a store you lazy assholes, whether its "Herbes de Province" or "Italian seasoning", or better yet, GIVE THE ACTUAL FUCKING HERBS YOU USELESS FUCKS.

Honestly the entire genre of "media based cookbooks" needs to go away and die. At absolute best they just offer mediocre rehashes of basic shit you can find in any dime store book section or five second google search, and at worst the recipes within are just straight up disgusting and inedible.

Perhaps the only halfway respectable examples are ones that are half tongue in cheek "in universe" works that function decently enough as a spinoff novella, like that discworld cookbook from ages ago which combined the aforementioned "mediocre but passable recipes" style cookbooks with a bunch of prose from the character depicted as writing said cookbook.

I bought a book "Dragonlovers Guide to Pern" when I was in high school. It was fun if you were a fan of the series, there were maps, size comparisons, backstory, and a few recipes stuck here and there for the food. I haven't read the Discworld cookbook, butI'd bet it was similar to that. Any other media that is labelled as a cookbook is generally useless. They are either so simple and tasteless as to be useless, or too detailed and requiring ingredients only found in specialty stores and techniques only taught at cooking schools (ala the one Top Chef cookbook I glanced at).

How the fuck you gonna sell someone with edges to 8 year olds? This is obviously designed to look as non threatening as possible so parents would want to buy the plastic/styrofoam toy for their kids. This "dagger" looks so unknifely by design, so that the toy can be sold even in countries like Britain where anti-knife hysteria is the current year ideology. You people keep making the same mistake of forgetting Star War are TOY ADVERTS and not actual films made for the enjoyment of adult audience.

Except this idea is stupid. Way back when, when "Hook" came out it had Peter Pan with a sword. The sword looked at least as sharp as your usual Hollywood sword in the movie. They also released a toy sword for kids, I only remember this because a cousin got one for Christmas, it was understandably rounded for kids to smack each other with. They didn't NERF it in the actual move ffs.

 

[Love Machine]

I propose we get merged into the disney thread. Its the only punishment fitting for us, since most of us will be going to see the movie "ironically".

 

[Flexo]

Anyone post this yet? Apparently a screenwriting instructor is using TLJ as an example of how NOT to write.

Bionic Woman Producer Kamran Pasha Uses Star Wars: The Last Jedi To Teach About Bad Screenwriting - Bounding Into Comics

Bionic Woman and Kings producer Kamran Pasha, who also teaches screenwriting seminars, made it very clear he uses Star Wars: The Last Jedi to instruct his students on how not to write a screenplay.

boundingintocomics.com

EDIT: Ah there's the late rating. My bad.

 

[Jaimas]

I propose we get merged into the disney thread. Its the only punishment fitting for us, since most of us will be going to see the movie "ironically".

No. We're going to mock this dumpster fire for what it is.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

I propose we get merged into the disney thread. Its the only punishment fitting for us, since most of us will be going to see the movie "ironically".

Nah, this rabbit hole is too interesting, even more-so than any comics gate shit.

 

[Flexo]

Here is my "official" review of the Mandalorian. I'm sure after this, @GeneralFriendliness and I will duel with pistols at dawn.

Covering the first 4 episodes.

First, I will confess that I'm partially biased since the show has contained references to the Ewok movies, especially the 2nd one, "Battle for Endor." (which isn't that bad) This tickles me immensely and renews my hope that Rei will be revealed as the little girl from those movies.

This show is also helped so much by the context of the time. Had this show come out during the prequel era, it would have been seen as solid. Had it released during the original era, it would be seen as mediocre. Released now, during the sequel era? It's fucking Shakespeare.

For one thing, a complaint I had about the Last Jedi was that it was so "safe." All the animals seen in the film and they were cute and cuddly and nice to our heroes. Well in Mandalorian the wildness of the galaxy is back! Some animals might be cute-ish and not much of a threat, but there are plenty who are. More than once a wild animal is as much of a threat to the protagonist as any active agent.

This and several other little touches in the set design and costumes makes the show feel like a return to the heart of Star Wars. I know we want to bring up "knock offs" of the original, but the show demonstrates some effort to make the knock offs their own characters. The protagonist doesn't feel like Boba Fett with a new paint job, but a member of Boba Fett's people - thus a design that looks similar, but distinct. (this is aided more by the 3rd episode's introduction of additional mandalorians with their own similar - yet distinct - looks) If you really remember the Gary Stu that Boba used to be, the protagonist in the show will feel even more distinct as he makes mistakes. Is it perfect on a star wars scale? Eh, but you can tell they are at least trying now, and are attempting to do the best they can with restrictions that might be on them. There is at least an effort.

. . . buuuuuuut....

There are problems with the writing separate and apart from the Warsy.

Spoiler: intense sperging, turn back now

Not that there's anything wrong with simplistic, broad-brush storytelling - that is the original SW after all - but more than once the show will do what is "marketable" without much consideration for whether this makes a good story. For example, in episode 1, the characters blast down a door with a large gun who's shoots pierce through it. Never mind that there is something living they want to get beyond it. How exactly Babyoda wasn't shot dead in the scene is only explained by the "off-camera" rule.

Warning, what I'm about to explain could ruin things for you forever.

So there's a test for "theory of the mind" which you should properly perform with something like puppets. Imagine 2 people, call them "bert" and "ernie." Bert puts his wallet in the top drawer of his dresser and then leaves the room. While he is gone, Ernie takes the wallet out and puts it in a shoebox under the bed. When Bert returns, where will he look for his wallet?

Autistic people (and really young kids) will answer "under the bed" because they haven't grasped yet that people have different minds from them. The proper answer is that Bert will look in the dresser, because Bert has no knowledge of the wallet being moved. What really drives me nuts is that stories will violate this all the time and I swear its getting worse. You'll see it pop up from time to time in this show and I can't tell whether Feloni or Favrau is bad at this. For example, in episode 3, the protagonist gets pinned down in a firefight. Things look hopeless when all of a sudden, his fellow mandalorians literally come flying into the scene on their jetpacks. I have no problem with them being aware of the firefight, it would probably be noisy, I'm just curious how the characters ever knew one of their own was in trouble. Unless it was a moment so quick I blinked, we never saw the protagonist radioing for help, or even set up a rescue with his people. (either one would have been great and an excellent character moment as well as a touch of world-building) It seems the audience is supposed to believe the others showed up because they were watching the TV show, just like we were.

That's probably the most annoying part about the show, in that it will sacrifice logic for really cool moments that fall apart when you think about it.

It's still not as bad as Last Jedi, but I suspect that when this show draws the focus of the mouse, it's going to crash hard. Until then, enjoy this high budget fan film as much as you can.

Bonus fun.

 

[Love Machine]

Autistic people (and really young kids) will answer "under the bed" because they haven't grasped yet that people have different minds from them. The proper answer is that Bert will look in the dresser, because Bert has no knowledge of the wallet being moved. What really drives me nuts is that stories will violate this all the time and I swear its getting worse. You'll see it pop up from time to time in this show and I can't tell whether Feloni or Favrau is bad at this. For example, in episode 3, the protagonist gets pinned down in a firefight. Things look hopeless when all of a sudden, his fellow mandalorians literally come flying into the scene on their jetpacks. I have no problem with them being aware of the firefight, it would probably be noisy, I'm just curious how the characters ever knew one of their own was in trouble. Unless it was a moment so quick I blinked, we never saw the protagonist radioing for help, or even set up a rescue with his people. (either one would have been great and an excellent character moment as well as a touch of world-building) It seems the audience is supposed to believe the others showed up because they were watching the TV show, just like we were.

This is a bit of a weak point. the simplest explanation is they sent one out to see what the fuck was going on, and he went back and told his bros. Other things would be like hearing his phase pulse blaster turning people into dust, as that would be a very loud and distinct sound.

 

[Flexo]

This is a bit of a weak point. the simplest explanation is they sent one out to see what the fuck was going on, and he went back and told his bros. Other things would be like hearing his phase pulse blaster turning people into dust, as that would be a very loud and distinct sound.

Yeah, but rule 1 of plot holes: The more you have to fanfic to make the plot work, the worse a job the actual writer did.

A hiccup at the climax of a movie, I can handwave a bit as you wouldn't want to tank the pacing explaining the airtight plot. But when you have an ongoing series, well then you've got the time.

There is also the question of why they even bother helping given some of what we see earlier in the episode. I can concoct an explanation, but that goes back to rule 1.

 

[Love Machine]

Yeah, but rule 1 of plot holes: The more you have to fanfic to make the plot work, the worse a job the actual writer did.

A hiccup at the climax of a movie, I can handwave a bit as you wouldn't want to tank the pacing explaining the airtight plot. But when you have an ongoing series, well then you've got the time.

There is also the question of why they even bother helping given some of what we see earlier in the episode. I can concoct an explanation, but that goes back to rule 1.

there is fanficing, but then there is common sense. Since we have an establishing shot of the town where he ran through a good portion of it in the fight scene, its not really any sort of logical leap that needs to be made.

 

[Commander X]

So far there hasn't been much controversy about the Mandalorian compared to some of the other entries in the franchise and -

Oh no.

 

[Reverend]

Bald, beard, new york....yeah I might be unfairly judging here but I have learned through hard experience this combo is a near universally terminal one

Fuck all that noise and I'll name the man as he's a goddamn great chef: Babbish. Eat a bag of dick all you haters as his recipe's are a great way to learn to love cooking and make some fantastic food based on wacky shit people dream up in movies/tv. His milk steak episode is goddamn hilarious.

I put him up there with Alton Brown on the scale of Chef's that both educate and entertain.


I would PRAY someone gives him that shitty Star Wars cook book so he can make masterpieces out of meal worm food that is the vegan shithole Disney serves.

Someone should do that. I'd pay.

 

[XtrmGamr719]

Is it accurate to say that the entire trilogy is basically "Retarded for Plot" times a thousand?

Also how much you wanna bet that Boyega was treated worse than shit during the development of the films and the NDA is a literal bullet through the head along with transport to China in a bodybag?

 

[Ghostse]

Hard disagree on anything you said in defence of this farce, I'm going through it point by point:
The OT literally does not wrap up at all, as long as the Emperor is still around and kicking. By having him survive by any means (be it teleportation, clones or whatever) negates Vaders sacrifice and the entire fucking raison d'être of the OT: To defeat the Emperor. Pulling him out of a writer's ass is lame and uninspired, too. "The villain was a clone all along, so prepare for the next round of 'Defeating the Emprah 2: Electric Boogaloo'!" is just as silly as "It was all just a dream".


If an Emperor-clone dies alongside the Death Star blowing up and Palpy just farts out a new clone to take over his still intact Empire, that puts us straight at square one of the beginning of ESB (or even ANH) and nothing has been achieved. Nothing.
If any new story deals with the New Republic cleaning up remnants of the Empire, that gives new opportunities to do new stuff -nay- it forces you to do new stuff! You can't just go "Here's a shady dude in a robe and his heavy breathing buttmonkey in a leather gimp suit and mask!" and expect people not to call out how that has been lifted from the OT *cough TFA cough*
Also, saying that the OT is invalidated by continuing the plot, namely dealing with the remnants of the Empire after it has been defeated, is beyond any reasonable thought.

If Palpy just pops up again, being in charge of a massive war-machine that still dwarfs the New Republic, nothing has been changed. It is literally what we have seen in 2 movies by that point. It doesn't continue the plot, it rewinds it. You can't tell me you do not understand this issue and actually think that by (for instance) making a trilogy about how the New Republic has to stomp out insurgencies of Empire-remnants is the same thing. I'm not saying that I want a trilogy of New Republic vs Empire Insurgents, just pointing out that it is not of the same calibre as just hitting the Reset Button on 2 movies and continue on with an Emperor in charge of an Empire after TROJ.


1) That could have been covered in books and comics that are set in between the rise of the Empire and its fall. You're not forced to explore his character in chronological order (ie: ROTJ is the newest movie and any EU material has to be set after that) and indeed, to my understanding, that is exactly what the EU has been doing for 40 years.
2) Sidious is the Emperor. The Emperor is not "dead" just cause some numbnut clone of his got axed. Sidious is still in charge of the Empire, thus he IS the Emperor. Trying to pretend that these two entities are two seperate things (when one is literally remote controlled by the other!) is bordering on arguing semantics and is just plain silly.


As nice as that might be, it comes at an insane cost: Negating all achievements of all protagonists throughout 3 movies. There was never a point in destroying anything, Palpy will just keep on going if he's save and secure in his hideout and operates everything via remote-clone. It adds a tiny bit to Palpy and takes away E V E R Y T H I N G from anyone else.

I know my tone is harsh, no disrespect or offense intended, but I just don't think what you said makes any lick of sense.

None taken, but I think you're stuck in a "I don't like thing to the point I summarily reject any arguments for it without consideration" mindset so I suspect I'm wasting my keystrokes here, but what is a star wars thread without pointless nerd arguments.

Every argument you use about Palps can apply to the Imperial Remnant(s); at the end of the OT just the Emperor wasn't defeated, the whole Empire was. That's very clearly what's to be happening even before Lucas' additions.

His return doesn't negate Vader's sacrifice. First, Vader's goal was to save his son, not to kill the Emperor. Its pretty clear that due to 80's SFX constraints a totally fucking sick wire-fu light saber battle between Vader/Luke and Palps was not going to be feasible so the only way to accomplish this, especially in his current state, was throwing the sith down the well. That's Vader's sacrifice and redemption: Saving his son, not killing the Emperor.

So how it plays out is the Empire experiences a huge set back, temporarily. Palps does to, to a degree. Which I'd say was probably the part where they really fucked up the premise, where once the initial shock wears off he can just keep coming back not much worse than before. After the first resurrection there seems to have been Imperial Chaos until Palps could force-choke bitches back into compliance.

Senator Palpatine's rise is very different aspect of Sithery than would be Darth Sidious rising from the grave bacta-tank. Senator Palpatine couldn't reveal his indentity and had to play cloak and dagger; Darth Sidious, casting off all pretense to go try to beat the shit out of Luke, is a whole different aspect. Senator Palpatine shows how he got power, Darth Sidious is when you see how he managed to keep it. Both have the potential be done well and interesting.


Again, I'm not defending the entirety of Dark Empire (since they brought back every-fucking-body) or how they just had an entire baseball team of the Sheev clones ready and on tap so he could just keep coming back again and again and again- that gets old. But the premise is something that is possible to be executed well, and its use as a plot point doesn't, by default, undo ROTJ/OT.

 

[Uranus Pink]

Also how much you wanna bet that Boyega was treated worse than shit during the development of the films and the NDA is a literal bullet through the head along with transport to China in a bodybag?

This clip comes to mind and there is a sign for people who talk when they ain't suppose too.

 

[verissimus]

This clip comes to mind and there is a sign for people who talk when they ain't suppose too.

Nah, this clip is more relevant : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqWKKig0VRQ

 

[Uranus Pink]

Nah, this clip is more relevant : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqWKKig0VRQ

Touché

 

[Commander X]

At this point, about the only way to redeem the sequels would be for Kylo and Rey to finally meet the person behind the scenes, behind the First Order and everything, a mysterious hooded figure who throws his hood back and reveals

"Meesa been waiting long timey for this."

 

[Ghostse]

why is there a tape measure sticking out of it?

Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Tim "Darth Toolman" Talyor? I thought not. Its not a story the Jedi would tell you.

 

[Prompt Critical]

At this point, about the only way to redeem the sequels would be for Kylo and Rey to finally meet the person behind the scenes, behind the First Order and everything, a mysterious hooded figure who throws his hood back and reveals

I think their best bet is a fourth wall breaking ending like Blazing Saddles, with the big final fight spilling out of the sound stage and onto the set of another movie, then across the studio lot and eventually into a theater where the film itself is being shown. The characters sit down in the theater and watch a jumbled mish-mash of all six or more different ending cuts to the film, and then walk away scratching their heads in confusion. Roll credits.

In an after-credits scene, a future crossover with Lilo and Stich is teased.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

never liked the idea of Snoke to begin with as it just felt like "Emperor Part 2.0", so them disposing of him to have Kylo Ren ascend to the level of true number one big bad was something I was actually in favor of.

Snoke, with proper development, could have been a decent yet badass villain if developed properly. Maybe he was willing to bide his time until Palpatine was killed and then emerge from hiding and slowly build his own empire. Unfortunately, Snoke proved to be one of many half-baked characters/concepts in this trilogy that never got any sort of development before he was anticlimactically killed off barely halfway into the trilogy. Seeing him used as a cardboard cutout sort of character felt like a wasted opportunity and a waste of his screen time.

"Abrams still left the door open to a different form of LGBTQ representation in his film. The filmmaker noted that he’s always strived to find a cast for “Star Wars” that “looked more the way the world looks than not.”

Funny how Abrams wants to shoehorn in alphabet soup diversity and representation while this trilogy has done nothing to showcase any sort of in-universe diversity in terms of planets, species, vehicles, weapons, etc.

Why would a Palpatine clone who apparently has all of the force power of the original not also inherent his ambition? Making Emperor clones is so exceptional because you are literally producing a bunch of competitors. Don't give me any shit about them being compliant like clone soldiers, either. These are force users.

It reminds me of the episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine where one of Weyoun's clones goes "defective" and allows himself to be captured by the Federation because he truly wants to end the Dominion War. He never gets the chance, but it was a nice touch to show that even in a sci-fi setting, cloning didn't always work as intended.

Also what kind of stance is this?

Maybe it's Daisy Ridley's "Oh crap, I forgot I can't wear designer heels in a Star Wars film" stance?