Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[MagneticTowels]

Jack Scalfani robot

Spoiler

 

[captkrisma]

Live chat recap:

A fuck ton of christmas stuff, Jack reading off people's Christmas tradition foods.

HOLY SHIT. The 5K tore Jacks achilles tendon in four places.

 

[JackDavis]

HOLY SHIT. The 5K tore Jacks achilles tendon in four places.

L M F A O HOW??? There's no chance he was taking more than 45 steps a minute.

 

[Adamska]

Live chat recap:

A fuck ton of christmas stuff, Jack reading off people's Christmas tradition foods.

HOLY SHIT. The 5K tore Jacks achilles tendon in four places.

Haha, bullshit. Fatty's just sore from waddling a mile and you know it. Fat fuck is a profligate liar, so I believe nothing unless he has hospital records saying this.

 

[MagneticTowels]

L M F A O HOW??? There's no chance he was taking more than 45 steps a minute.

 

[Aunt Myrna]

Jack must to be one of the first people in history to require reconstructive surgery after walking two-thirds of a 5K.

And somehow the doctor is going to put it back together better than it was before? I'm not sure that's how medicine works.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

Jack must to be one of the first people in history to require reconstructive surgery after walking two-thirds of a 5K.

And somehow the doctor is going to put it back together better than it was before? I'm not sure that's how medicine works.

Bring on those sweet post-operative pain relievers; I hear opioids are great for stroke survivors.

“I hate to get medical on this show.” Sure. Jack appears to be assuming his routine repair job will be something more elaborate and noteworthy, like reconstruction. Jack’s tendon, which he claims is “torn in, like, four places,” is probably ailing from nothing more than a common microtrauma injury, and I’d posit it’s due to inactivity and sedentation, and not exclusively due to his obesity (although Jack does mention that his weight is a contributing factor).

And I’m laughing out loud at Jack saying that his tendon will be “better than now.” Of course, dumb-fuck; you’ve been hobbling around with tendinitis for who knows how long, and it’s your own fucking reluctance to take care of yourself that has caused this to occur.

 

[FemalePresident]

and not exclusively due to his obesity (although Jack does mention that his weight is a contributing factor).

So he finally acknowledged that he's fatter than ever?

 

[Aaway]

LOL

you didn't tear your achilles jack. he does a 5k after doing barely any walking and using a motorized scooter to get around stores. his achilles probably went into some type of shock from finally being used after all these years. at least he admitted he's still very much obese despite his fans always telling him he looks thinner and jack himself claiming he's always losing weight

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

L M F A O HOW??? There's no chance he was taking more than 45 steps a minute.

45 steps a minute? You think Jack is fucking Jesse Owens?

 

[El Porko Fako]

Maybe he fell or tripped? I know that the NBA player John Wall ruptured his Achilles when he slipped and fell at home while recovering from another injury,

I wouldn't begin to truly know how you do that walking. There have been injuries during NFL Games that have not been as severe as tearing your Achilles in 4 different places.

 

[Adamska]

LOL

you didn't tear your achilles jack. he does a 5k after doing barely any walking and using a motorized scooter to get around stores. his achilles probably went into some type of shock from finally being used after all these years. at least he admitted he's still very much obese despite his fans always telling him he looks thinner and jack himself claiming he's always losing weight

He probably just overused the muscles and his feet hurt from the pressure and movement from his one mile or so of waddling if I had to guess what happened. It's not a big deal, you just ease back a bit on your goals until the soreness is mostly gone and change the routine so you take some breaks in between.

Maybe he fell or tripped? I know that the NBA player John Wall ruptured his Achilles when he slipped and fell at home while recovering from another injury,

I wouldn't begin to truly know how you do that walking. There have been injuries during NFL Games that have not been as severe as tearing your Achilles in 4 different places.

He'd need to show his fat ass in a cast first or at least some doctor's orders before I remotely believe him. I legit think Fat Jack just wanted to avoid having to pretend to walk to his tiny audience of trash and this was the excuse he first came up with to avoid the effort of moving.

Hungry Jack claims to be christian, but he fucking bears false witness all the time.

 

[Captain Ahab]

Man, imagine dedicating your entire life to becoming a surgeon, hoping that one day you’ll be helping football players, Olympians, and all kinds of athletes regain their glory. Fast-forward twenty years, you’re working on a stroked-out boomer who got injured waddling a 5K.

 

[DuckSucker]

Ugh. So Jack Jr who is supposedly mature enough to be getting married stuck his gross fingers in the cake... sounds like he will be a great husband who respects boundaries.

Lol Im trying not to be a cunt but have you seen his dad? Just putting his hand in the cake is a step up, honestly. I think Jack Sr would put his whole tongue in the cake.

And can I be the cunt that says red velvet cake is disgusting, because it is. Ill fight over that one.

 

[Ira the Weatherman]

It had been discussed somewhat recently, so I went back and watched the video in which Jack reveals the results of his genetic ancestry testing.

Jack, who previously claimed to be 100 per cent Italian, appears shocked to learn that he’s 10 per cent Bangladeshi Middle Eastern and North African.

>100% Italian (Sicilian)
>at least 10% North African
These are absolutely not mutually exclusive. If anything, his Maghrebi admixture is surprisingly low. It does help to explain his internalized Islamophobia, which manifests in him trying to transform himself into a pig to spite his Ifriqiyan ancestors.

Jack also reveals that for 35 years he and his brothers did not know of the existence of their sister. “We found that out a few years ago … My mom had a daughter with another man before she married my father.”

I swear, racist Italian-Americans with stereotypically Black ghetto family lives are like rapist male feminists and closeted Bible thumping politicians. Irony and projection at its finest.

#sarchasm

Clearly a subtle reference to that gaping cave he calls a mouth.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

I don't buy the achilles tendon tear for one minute. He is desperate to downplay the extent of the stroke damage, but he will downplay in the laziest manner possible with the laziest lies possible. Boogie is a better liar than Jack.

 

[salmonellajack]

He wears plastic rings because his old ring was looking shabby after 20 years

 

[Aaway]

He wears plastic rings because his old ring was looking shabby after 20 years

probably because it had been overtaken by some rare bacteria from all the times he had handled food (especially raw meats) and cracked eggs with it

 

[JackDavis]

He wears plastic rings because his old ring was looking shabby after 20 years

Tammy wears a silicon ring now too. Did they both become shabby looking at exactly the same time?

 

[AnOminous]

He wears plastic rings because his old ring was looking shabby after 20 years

It's because he's so fucking fat that even his fingers are now too fat to put a ring on them. Plus he probably has edema from the fact that he's dying of being fat.