Lolcow Timothy "TJ" Church / Cowlick - Failed Literotica Writer &/or Null's Best Friend

[Dravite]

While poking through the back end of Wikipedia (I have a really boring job, OK?), I found this tidbit regarding "tendentious editors," in a list about how to determine if you or someone else is being counterproductive:

If your arguments are rejected, bring better arguments, don’t simply repeat the same ones. And most importantly, examine your argument carefully, in light of what others have said. It is true that people will only be convinced if they want to be, regardless of how good your argument may be, but that is not grounds for believing that your argument must be true. You must be willing to concede you may have been wrong. Take a good, long hard look at your argument from as detached and objective a point of view as you can possibly muster, and see if there really is a problem with it. If there isn't, it's best to leave the situation alone: they're not going to want to see it and you cannot force them to. If there is a problem, however, then you should revise the argument, your case, or both.

But it's worse than that. Because this describes Mr. Church to a T, it also points at an even worse problem for him. Compared to pretty much any other lolcow, Teej is just boring. Over 280+ pages, his posts are completely predictable, with hardly any change in his logic or writing style - you could probably cough up a decent Teej post emulator in BASIC. Input posts nightly, make some dumb insults out of people's names, proclaim your intellectual superiority, discount/ignore all criticism, GOTO 10.

People watch lolcows because they're unpredictable: people spent years poking and prodding at Chris to get him to do anything, and without prompting, all of a sudden we have tomgirl, blue arms and pepper spray. In a couple months' time, TJ will still be posting the exact same things he posted last night and for weeks on end before that, using the exact same tactics and wordings even. No reasoning, no realizations, no real arguments to be had with him, just a continual barrage of toxic, self-aggrandizing narcissism. And he does this on every board he's been on, day in, day out, ad infinitum.

They say that one of the hallmarks of life is that it changes over time, so what does that say about him? Or the fact that he's so proud of his unwavering stasis?

 

[deductionotaku]

First, to continue the game created by Chuggernaut. To change it up, I'll add some kind of coherence to his comments this time, though I won't give him the obvious hint he'll need to disprove part of a post from Ambrose.

Ambrose:

1] I don't care about you. In fact, I wouldn't know you if not for this loathsome thread.

2] I never claimed that you could have negative friends. If you couldn't figure that out, you're an idiot [which would also explain why you (and others) can't understand my posts].

3] I have no problem dealing with most users on other sites. There's just a handful per site that doesn't have reason to discuss me anymore, most of whom joined this site.

4] I never admitted to eating shit.

5] See how I use brackets instead of all those parentheses in your run on sentence?

6] I use commas correctly more often than you use the English language correctly.

7] I understand irony. Proof: you claimed you were correct. That's irony.

Yog, I admit my head is larger than average, but at least it has its contents. The forum goers here can't say the same.

Rager, I never said my head was up my backside. You failed to understand me, and yet someone is certain to claim that's my fault. People, admit your faults!

Chug, my head usually looks like those pictures. All I denied was your description.

Mr. X, I am a high quality writer - at least compared to the lot of you - and thus reject your accusation.

Scores?

Now then, TJ Church, my response to this is to use your own words once more:

"If [someone] thought you meant something different & [sic] was wrong (has been the case with me before), then the fault is equally with each of you. He was wrong, but that seems to be b/c [sic] you weren't clear on expressing things correctly/clearly [sic]."

"Don't put the blame on others for what is truly your fault."

Also, your post wasn't deleted or moved. You could have found it yourself. All you had to do was use your eyes and fingers: use your fingers to work a mouse or track pad and read posts for the comment in question as you either scroll through topics or search your own content. Lazy!

Or...has the diabetes finally claimed your eyes?

 

[Dudeofteenage]

That sounds hot as fuck. Better mention my abs, and Holden better be in there bitching about how we're rape apes as TJ insults homosexuals.

I'm still waiting on the TJ Church banging pokemon fanfic we were promised several hundred posts ago

 

[TOOTBLAN]

It appears the [proper use of brackets is another thing you lack intelligence in.

Pot, meet Kettle.

 

[Cowlick]

The way I see it, I have 2 choices:

1A] TMA saying I'm proving him right due to his explanation of my prior writing (which is wrong, only proving once again he's not as smart as me), & others (cosmos) saying I'm making the same mistakes as others due to things that were clearly done intentionally/ironically, etc.

1B] More responses resulting in people failing to understand what I've written, accidentally or on purpose.

1C] Other things (I simply skip many posts people make here, as I do have other things to do with my life/time.

2] Not waste my time posting things that will be denied by some, misunderstood by others, & something that fits 1C in other cases.

#2 it is!!! (beyond what I've already written)

 

[TM Ambrose]

The way I see it, I have 2 choices:

1A] TMA saying I'm proving him right due to his explanation of my prior writing (which is wrong, only proving once again he's not as smart as me), & others (cosmos) saying I'm making the same mistakes as others due to things that were clearly done intentionally/ironically, etc.

1B] More responses resulting in people failing to understand what I've written, accidentally or on purpose.

1C] Other things (I simply skip many posts people make here, as I do have other things to do with my life/time.

2] Not waste my time posting things that will be denied by some, misunderstood by others, & something that fits 1C in other cases.

#2 it is!!! (beyond what I've already written)

You think you would have figured this out 200 pages ago. TJ are you retarded? I mean, this post also proves my point again. Like literally, I can go through your post in the last few pages and point out every step.

 

[Mister Moo]

#2 it is!!! (beyond what I've already written)

TJ- if you're comparing your writing to #2, I couldn't agree more!

 

[deductionotaku]

UPDATE!

We have thread edits, and a new thread!

Chyoo crossover 2:

Plenty.

Keep giving whatever letters, numbers, & symbols you want for denial. Fact is you never had a reason, which is why it was initially approved.

Wanna keep playing games, Kid?!

A Day:

None.

I counteracted a premise that didn't visibly exist when the thread was originally written & approved. I likewise didn't acknowledge a statement you had yet to make. Lastly, there is no catch-all outside of approving the thread as was done originally.

Admit it, or spit more shit?

Saving you from an intro question that doesn't fit your story.

24 Celebrity Service:

Fill your house with Hannah's Harem.

Realizing she was already on her knees, asking your opinion, and had already admitted to being horny, you take a few more sips before answering her question.

"It was OK... For you," you finally tell her.

"But you're my Master!" she replies as though reminding you. "I want it to be good for you!"

"It was good," you shoot back. "Just not good enough... Or should I say, not enough. I want you to stay on your knees, and crawl into the next room. Continue crawling until you reach my phone. There, call every female you know the number of, and instruct them to meet us here. When that job is done, report back to me, and I'll let you know if you have done enough for either of us to get another 'job."

Who does she call?

Discuss.

 

[Yog-Spergoth]

The way I see it, I have 2 choices:

1A] TMA saying I'm proving him right due to his explanation of my prior writing (which is wrong, only proving once again he's not as smart as me), & others (cosmos) saying I'm making the same mistakes as others due to things that were clearly done intentionally/ironically, etc.

1B] More responses resulting in people failing to understand what I've written, accidentally or on purpose.

1C] Other things (I simply skip many posts people make here, as I do have other things to do with my life/time.

2] Not waste my time posting things that will be denied by some, misunderstood by others, & something that fits 1C in other cases.

#2 it is!!! (beyond what I've already written)

You idiot, that's obviously four choices.

The first three do not follow off each other, and shouldn't be connected like that. They're separate (bad) points.

 

[Meowthkip]

Discuss.

I hope she calls the Ghostbusters.

 

[TM Ambrose]

(which is wrong, only proving once again he's not as smart as me)

I'm sure you'll respond with another post about me being X (where X is literally anything at this point. At one point you called me a pedophile, at another you called me a failed professor and in another situation you called me gay (the only actual statement you've gotten correct)) and I'll just laugh at you because normally your logic is that of a mentally handicapped person.From this I will tell you that your logic is that of a mentally handicapped person and you'll respond with the equivalent of "Nuh-uh. I'm just smarter than you blahblahblahblah nobody agrees with you"

1] TMA, we all admit your expertise in poor writing, which most of your posts prove if the proof is needed for anyone.

You actually combined steps one and two, but that doesn't really matter. Still holds true.
Me pointing out the problems in your logic:

You don't use commas correct. Also you're proving me right even more. Like literally, this is exactly what I said would happen. Are you this retarded?
Adding commas, run on sentences, and being a pot calling the kettle black to the list of things you don't understand. I also don't get why you think I have an obsession with you. In this post you brought me up 5 times.

Next:

Then people will agree and you'll say something like "you're all just picking on me because I'm more successful" not understanding how that contradicts your previous statement.

TJ thinks that the more hyphens you use, the more educated you are.
So, somebody so educated they won a spelling bee and live on the same street as their former school will obviously use hyphens all the time.

Edit: Also @TM Ambrose is correct. That does not need to be hyphenated.

Titty Master Ambrose is absolutely correct. That expression did not need to be hyphenated in that case. You would hyphenate two descriptors only when using them as a compound adjective, as in "We bought the less-towering Christmas tree because we have low ceilings." In that case, "less-towering" is an adverb and adjective joined together to form a single descriptor meaning "shorter." But if your character said to the tree salesman, "I want a tree that is less towering than this one," there would be no hyphen.

No one is attempting to write over your head, Einstein. It just happens. I am correct about the hyphenation issue, but it will just zoom past you. So it goes.

People say you're a shitty writer because you're a shitty writer.

People agreeing with me.
Your response

(which is wrong, only proving once again he's not as smart as me)

Implying we do this because we're jealous.

Next:

. You'll then get frustrated and your grammar will worsen for a few post. You'll disappear for about a day and come back bitching about how the thread isn't gone and how we talk about you behind your back on a forum dedicated to talking about people behind their backs. Rinse and Repeat.

1B] More responses resulting in people failing to understand what I've written, accidentally or on purpose.

1C] Other things (I simply skip many posts people make here, as I do have other things to do with my life/time.

You getting frustrated causing your grammar to worsen.

2] Not waste my time posting things that will be denied by some, misunderstood by others, & something that fits 1C in other cases.

#2 it is!!! (beyond what I've already written)

The "I'm not going to post anymore" post.


Evidence is a powerful thing. Deviation from this in small ways is expected, but it holds true for the most part.

I don't know about you not because you have hidden the information, but because I don't want it.

It doesn't matter if you want to know. You're not nearly smart enough to even know where to begin to look.

 

[Red_Rager]

So you are finally realizing the options people gave you on page 8 and taking their advice.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/tjchurch.4234/page-8

I'm not holding my breath, see you later, buddy.

 

[DrChristianTroy]

due to actually having a brain & other things in it.

Are you sure? I'm pretty sure the dent in your head pushed some of it out. So @Cowlick, how's life? Still loitering around FYE?

 

[TOOTBLAN]

Hey Teej, can I tell you a secret?

Most major publishing companies have a blacklist that they share with competitors.

I showed your thread to a friend who works at one of these companies (I won't say which because it's none of your business) and he showed this to some other people within the company and now your work will never be published by them or their competitors.

And to think you could have avoided all of this if you left this thread on page 1.

 

[Dynamite Ninja]

Hey Teej, can I tell you a secret?

Most major publishing companies have a blacklist that they share with competitors.

I showed your thread to a friend who works at one of these companies (I won't say which because it's none of your business) and he showed this to some other people within the company and now your work will never be published by them or their competitors.

And to think you could have avoided all of this if you left this thread on page 1.

not to mention his rage inducing ego.

 

[namazuros]

That sounds hot as fuck. Better mention my abs, and Holden better be in there bitching about how we're rape apes as TJ insults homosexuals.

I'm going to hope you're still okay with this, because...


Hopefully this lives up to your standards. Warning: contains intense scenes of adult activities between a man and his hand.

 

[TM Ambrose]

I'm going to hope you're still okay with this, because...


Hopefully this lives up to your standards. Warning: contains intense scenes of adult activities between a man and his hand.

omg this is fucking hilarious.

 

[Silver]

im dying jesus christ who thought a tale of a man masturbating could be so hilarious

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

TJ Church proves once again that he is the gift that keeps on giving. I again PMed him with the intention of seeing if I could coax him into understanding even the most rudimentary facts about his own situation. This time, my goal was to convey to him how unimportant his intelligence is in relation to how much we discuss him. That regardless of how true &/or false it is, this intelligence that is so very, very important to him is not actually important at all.

Highlights:

*TJ claims he understands we discuss him regardless of how intelligent he is &/or isn't, and thinks it's good he entertains us all.
*TJ suggests he doesn't need a reason to prove his intelligence, and then immediately presents a reason he wants to prove his intelligence.
*TJ notes he can only post in his own thread, and thinks it's a plot by @Null to keep his thread alive. The fact that, if that were true, he alone would have the power to keep this thread alive by continually posting in it escapes him.
*TJ claims he never intended to pose as another user, and the only reason we weren't fooled by his ruse is that he didn't want us to be fooled. His evidence for this is that basketball players refer to themselves in the third person.
*TJ doesn't think he's failed in getting his thread removed, because he keeps returning.


CONCLUSION: TJ Church is >>this<< close to just admitting that he really loves this forum and all the attention he gets here, and gets a shitload of pleasure out of these visits. If this thread died, he'd be more upset than anyone.

 

[TM Ambrose]

*TJ claims he never intended to pose as another user, and the only reason we weren't fooled by his ruse is that he didn't want us to be fooled. His evidence for this is that basketball players refer to themselves in the third person.

At one point he directly stated that he was not TJ Church and that he just knew him.