Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[RumblyTumbly]

God. Damn. That exposition dialogue is clunky as fuck.

I also like how they explain the Mary Sue powers with a retconned Force bond (I htough Snoke created that), invent some broohaha about it being a super speshul once-every-couple-generations thing out of the blue, so they can power their ultimate McGuffin-Asspull-Badguy.

There's just so many layers to this lunacy.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

This trilogy basically amounted to JJ and Rian having a slap fight. They actively tried to passive aggressively show contempt for one another by destroying each other's ideas, and the movies feel like my brain is being ping pong'd across the room back and forth as a result.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

JJ Abrams: Cleaver Of Continuity

 

[Fareal]

Funnelly enough, I've been binge-watching the first couple of series of Xena. It's surprisingly comfy. It looks cheap as absolute fuck though what with 90s computer graphics and wire-fu, but the writing is solid and coherent enough that knowing the giant liberties they take with Greco-Roman mythology doesn't detract from it. But alas, nowadays the wokerati would decide that having UST between Xena and Gabrielle is "queerbaiting" and that unless they're lezzing out on camera twice an episode it's PROBLEMATIC.

That's sad. In the early noughties it was hugely celebrated in feminist circles for being a) unashamedly female driven and b) a show that wasn't at all afraid to put out there "yes the big one and the little one are probably a couple, and what the fuck of it?"

Which sounds like nothing in 2019, but jesus it was a big deal in the late Nineties. I mean, 2019 Twitter has forgotten or never knew what a Big Fucking Deal it was when Ellen came out.

 

[Atomic Wangler]

People are reporting that they're finding it easier to buy Transformers in the park than actual Episode 9 Star Wars merch.

Is it just not available or is it deliberately being suppressed to avoid spoilers?

Sorry if this info was posted up thread. I gave up trying to catch up when I awoke to find I was no longer 30 pages behind, but 70. The dumpster fire rises!

 

[Picnic_Boy]

Not even the ineptitude of the prequels could ruin Palpatine, but JJ can. He is uniquely bad at handling villains.

 

[Jarolleon]

I don't think this woke/piss-poor filmmaking is going to hold in the 20's. Eventually, things give under enough weight. If Star Wars had to be the thing to break it all down then so be it.

I wonder if it's iconoclasm. Because this crap almost always targets relics of the 80s, which the far-left demonizes as the "Reagan-Thatcher era" .

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

This trilogy basically amounted to JJ and Rian having a slap fight. They actively tried to passive aggressively show contempt for one another by destroying each other's ideas, and the movies feel like my brain is being ping pong'd across the room back and forth as a result.

I like to call it the autistic tug of war. If Ruin Johnson gets another SW movie, we'll get the revelation that the Palpatine of Plan IX was in fact a fake emperor made by rich dudes from Canto Bight or some shit.

That's sad. In the early noughties it was hugely celebrated in feminist circles for being a) unashamedly female driven and b) a show that wasn't at all afraid to put out there "yes the big one and the little one are probably a couple, and what the fuck of it?"

Which sounds like nothing in 2019, but jesus it was a big deal in the late Nineties. I mean, 2019 Twitter has forgotten or never knew what a Big Fucking Deal it was when Ellen came out.

It's infuriating, these chucklefucks have no respect or even awareness of the history and milestone of their own movement.

 

[RA-5C Vigilante]

I said earlier that this was a great comedic ending, but i'll be humble and AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

heh.

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

This trilogy basically amounted to JJ and Rian having a slap fight. They actively tried to passive aggressively show contempt for one another by destroying each other's ideas, and the movies feel like my brain is being ping pong'd across the room back and forth as a result.

I can imagine the Bronte sisters doing this shit as kids and it helped hone their skills. Grown men doing it with billions of dollars is fucking embarrassing.

 

[Shaka Brah]

"Nice cat, Howard. What's his name?"

"He's white with grey strips so I called him Monster Energy Zero."

 

[Judge Holden]

Well disney have actually achieved the impossible....

They have made channers and shitposters unironically root for fucking furries

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

Nah, you're wrong, it's the first American isekai light novel series ever written. It even has its own anime adaption too!

Now when will Dorothy appear in Isekai Quartet?

Wouldn't that be Return to Oz, then?

Still not sure what to make of that movie, beyond my nagging suspicion that it was culled from a wet fever-dream of Tim Burton's somehow.

 

[Grog]

JJ is a hack with no creativity and wanted the sequel trilogy to be a soft-remake of the original trilogy. Rian Johnson threw a wrench in his plan by S U B V E R T I N G expectations which is why JJ had to make up a whole different plot for the last movie and bring back Sheev to replace Snoke, who Johnson had subversion-killed.
This is why the trilogy feels like a schizofrenic made it and is full of pointless crap and plot holes.

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

I cant stress this enough to fellow posters, if for some reason you still want to see this mess: buy a ticket to CATS and sneak into ROTS.

It doesn't even have to line up showtimes. as long as its +/-30 minutes youll be fine. Dont give the rat your money and do your part for the dumpster fire.

Highly unlikely, but imagine if CATs opens at #1 and Plan 9 at 2 at the box office

 

[Cuatro Vaginas]

Disney defeated by clown who lives in a society and furries, who would've thunk it?

 

[Judge Holden]

Disney defeated by clown who lives in a society and furries, who would've thunk it?

You forgot someone...

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

JJ is a hack with no creativity and wanted the sequel trilogy to be a soft-remake of the original trilogy. Rian Johnson threw a wrench in his plan by S U B V E R T I N G expectations which is why JJ had to make up a whole different plot for the last movie and bring back Sheev to replace Snoke, who Johnson had subversion-killed.
This is why the trilogy feels like a schizofrenic made it and is full of pointless crap and plot holes.

It is almost like going into a Trilogy with NO FUCKING REAL PLAN is a terrible idea.

 

[Cyril Sneer]

Force powers on a sith lord versus force powers on some random schlub with no force powers.

Same difference. It's pretty consistent across all of Lucas's movies that "use the Force" is not a one-size-fits-all or invariably 100% effective tactic for dealing with material objects in three-dimensional space.

 

[HOMO FOR LIFE]

As every female protagonist in the Kennedy movies.

Fucking bitch. Star wars is ruined forever. Prequels is now at master level compared to this Trainwreck.

 

[Atomic Wangler]

You forgot someone...

An entire animation studio died to bring us Sonk. I hope it outperforms plan 9

Also, I can't tell if that face is more or less uncanny than Daisy's.