Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

GeneralFriendliness said:
Its like some sort of weird bizarro retelling of Twilight but between a young boy and a freakish 30 something year old mutant clone of a 90 something year old man who is actually your great grandfather. Also has anyone anywhere outside of here addressed the potential incestual nature of Reylo?
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Tfw gay sparkling space vampire bullshit but no Vampire Hunter D to yeet them all into the nearest black hole.

Oh it's been discussed and that's why this continues to get more ridiculous.

I guess they really wanted Game of Thrones.
 
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GeneralFriendliness said:
Wait, she's a cripple? Imagine having to deny yourself the chance to walk or use the bathroom normally (despite it being within your power to change that) simply because of some cat's weird lunar code. No wonder this shit was unaired.


He does. And the comic is like some sort of weird bizarro retelling of Twilight but between a young boy and a freakish 30 something year old mutant clone of a 90 something year old man who is actually your great grandfather. Also has anyone anywhere outside of here addressed the potential incestual nature of Reylo?

Also the Knights of Ren are some kind of Mad Max wannabes led by a crazy masochist called Ren.
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In a similarly misguided pilot the Doozybots took some bush league burger king kids club and stuck them in the gundam robots, but the wheelchair kid got the one with tank treads instead of one of the ones with legs
 
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GeneralFriendliness said:
So... according to this super important tie-in (that is "essential to understanding" Plan 9 and Snoke's reason for existing) that was released today, this greenhouse planet is where Snoke lived and its where he and Kylo Ren spent their first night of passion together.
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And Luke is still depicted as a psycho. But its okay because he could hear Snoke's evil psychic whispers which totally justifies murdering your sister's kid in his sleep.

And woke critics still think that Disney retconned TLJ...
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What fuck's up with snoke's hair, are they seriously making him look like trump, he just looks like an ugly woman.
 
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Can we talk about one of the greatest missed opportunities of Star Wars related things?

The fact that Carrie Fisher never did any nudity in her prime, what's up with that?

I read once that she came close to being cast in Carrie instead of Star Wars, when later asked if she dropped out because she didn't want to do the nudity she stated that she would have been fine with it.

So what's the deal, if she was fine with doing nudity in theory how come she never did it in actuality? She was cast in John Landis' Blues Brothers and Landis' movies almost always had good nudity, so why didn't she do it there?

I want to see Leia's boobs, bush and butt in her Slave Bikini prime, dammit!
 
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Shield Breaker said:
The TLJ fans annoy me most. They are so brain dead they think that there was enough left to make a movie out of.
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If I was asked to salvage TLJ what I would do is have both Kylo and Rey train through most of the movie while the B-plot between the First Order and the Resistance turns into a desperate guerrilla war on a single city planet too important to destroy (Coruscant?). In a bid to end the war for good, Kylo hunts down Rey but she's learned that the Jedi way isn't to use your power to gain an edge over others, it's to give your life for something meaningful. Kylo appeals to her in visions from time to time, saying he needs her by his side, but it's pretty much half-assed. He's doing it only because she's the only person who knows who he really is whom he hasn't killed. Basically he's becoming despondent and losing his faith because he's killed everyone he loved, both his father and (in the beginning of the movie, so as to avoid too much Carrie Fisher screentime) the First Order kills his mother in a bombing run. It's obvious he doesn't care about the First Order anymore, and he's only allowing the generals to continue their war because he doesn't have the will to stop it.

At some point Rey realizes the Resistance is dying and so she surrenders herself to Kylo in exchange for a halt to the invasion. On the ship, Kylo asks Rey to join him (like Vader did in Return), but she refuses and they fight. It's obvious that Kylo has the upper hand at first, and in a stark turn of events Hux announces that the invasion is back on. He's ignoring orders and leading his ship to land on the planet and finish things himself. This leads to some b-plot side cuts of the massacre.

In a moment of clarity, as Kylo repeatedly beats back Rey and lets her recover, it becomes obvious that Kylo doesn't want to kill her at all. Even though she has a chance to win because of his failing, Rey sees that killing him won't change the fate of the Republic. Instead she turns off her lightsaber at the last moment, like Obi Wan, allowing Kylo to kill her. She vanishes and Ben is stunned. He falls to his knees, until a hand appears on his shoulder. It's Anakin, not Darth Vader. Kylo comes to a realization of what he needs to do.

Cut to the ground battle. Hux's Star Destroyer is looming overhead and transports are pouring out of it... Until it's bombarded from above. Kylo's ship is destroying Hux's, and the stunned First Order soldiers begin surrendering en masse. Once it's destroyed the FO ships over the planet retreat back to who-knows-where. Kylo has called off the invasion. Nobody is really sure what happened, and the Republic begins to pick up the pieces without the Jedi. In maybe a teaser or epilogue or something, the First Order is shown to be changing focus under Kylo, and a tense peace is developed between the Republic and this new kingdom in the Outer Rim.

IDK, this might be just some gay fanwank on my part, but I feel like it would set up more content (like a cold war spy series or something) without stepping on any toes or being retarded and bringing back Palpatine.
 
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Hey, Disney? Lucasfilm?

You know how most people like Mandalorian more right now? You wanna know why? He's a character that isn't some virtue signal to his race and gender. He has flaws and doesn't automatically win everything. His gender & race don't matter and if something was changed it wouldn't break the character because he is more than just that. His story is most important.

Now, I'm not happy with you guys but I'm still watching Mando because I'm a sucker for Favreau works to begin with.

But it sounds an awful lot like there's someone you should be paying attention to that does the space heroine deal infinitely better than Rey could ever do.

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Ignore Other M, ignore the fans who say she's trans.
But she does it better.
 
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Been thinking about "the kiss" at the end, and how Ben gives his life for Rey. And it comes to me that this is so utterly and completely inane. Its as if space aliens who have studied heterosexual human pair bonding from a safe distance got together and tried to figure out how to use it for emotional weight. Cuz you know, that is a thing that happens in art. The man dies for the woman. And its all super dramatic and stuff. Cuz love and stuff.

Setting aside the biologically deterministic reasoning that Men are expendable and Women are not in furthering the species, there has been absolutely no set up in the last two films to indicate Rey and Ben ever had any sort of romantic connection. Even their force skyping with the weird sexual tension was revealed to have been pushed by Snoke all along and not anything natural on their end. And much like this kiss scene it came across as something dreamed up by Space Aliens studying male/female relations.

Its just so fucking obvious what has happened here. The writers painted themselves into a corner. In order for Rey to transcend to her ultimate form as the greatest Mary Sue in pop culture history, and take on the Skywalker name/legacy, Ben Solo has to die. But how is he to die? Can he die in battle helping Rey? Maybe deflect the Force lighting with his body like Vader did? Nah. That would imply Rey is just like Luke and needed help. Can't have that. Should he just die like a bitch by falling down a hole? Sure said the writers. Lets go with that. But then someone said, wait, didn't we set up Kylo Ren as super important to everything? We can't just kill him like a bitch too. We already did that with Snoke and it Focus tested badly.

And so we get true loves first kiss to save the day at the end. Where Ben Solo does absolutely fuck all except to heal Rey after she heroically killed the Emperor single handed. Then conveniently dies so she can take his name, his moms lightsabre, and his uncles house.
 
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GeneralFriendliness said:
So... according to this super important tie-in (that is "essential to understanding" Plan 9 and Snoke's reason for existing) that was released today, this greenhouse planet is where Snoke lived and its where he and Kylo Ren spent their first night of passion together.
View attachment 1057661View attachment 1057663

And Luke is still depicted as a psycho. But its okay because he could hear Snoke's evil psychic whispers which totally justifies murdering your sister's kid in his sleep.
View attachment 1057667
And woke critics still think that Disney retconned TLJ...
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Cool. The artist just ripped off the design for Chernobog from the Megaten games for Snoke.

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Even the people on the periphery of this shit are hacks.
 
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Dom Cruise said:
Can we talk about one of the greatest missed opportunities of Star Wars related things?

The fact that Carrie Fisher never did any nudity in her prime, what's up with that?

I read once that she came close to being cast in Carrie instead of Star Wars, when later asked if she dropped out because she didn't want to do the nudity she stated that she would have been fine with it.

So what's the deal, if she was fine with doing nudity in theory how come she never did it in actuality? She was cast in John Landis' Blues Brothers and Landis' movies almost always had good nudity, so why didn't she do it there?

I want to see Leia's boobs, bush and butt in her Slave Bikini prime, dammit!
Click to expand...
We have the technology.....
 
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