Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

No joke, the Lego TFA game was one of my favorites; it brought more life to the worlds and settings than the movie ever did. It was paced better too; TFA could have been improved enormously by an editor who understood that drama needs to be allowed to breath and break up the action.

That’s the real tragedy of the Disney Trilogy: there were a lot of concepts and design elements that really had potential if they had just given it to someone who actually understood real people.

The TFA teaser was a stroke of genius and if I could have the version of that film that existed in my mind from that minute and a half of content, I’d be more than happy.

The concepts were there, and immediately compelling:

1) An awakening in the Force, shown in a Stormtrooper, drenched in sweat, wresting with a sudden connection to the life-force of the universe that he never even believed existed.

2) The slow approach of the new X-Wings, a republic desperately clinging to the heroic iconography of the Rebellion, the pilot’s face wearing an the exhaustion of years of attrition against a foe that should have dissappeared with the Death Star.

3) An impoverished loner, living in true destitution, struggling to get by in an uncaring, inhospitable Galaxy, deserted by a Republic government more obsessed with eradicating the remains of the Empire than allowing its citizens to prosper.

4) A new threat from the dark side, crude and unrefined, but crackling with raw power, seeking its own way in the balance of the Galaxy unshackled by the burden of the Sith’s past failures.

And before you dismiss this as edgy bullshit that doesn’t fit in the swashbuckling adventure mold of Star Wars, remember that the prequels tried many of these themes and mainly failed due to poor execution as opposed to the weakness of the concepts.

You can set a fun, Star Wars adventure in a world that’s grounded and well-thought out while letting the dark implications fester in the background while they add to the urgency and drama. A New Hope finishes it’s first act with a fucking genocide for God’s sake.

The Sequel trilogy lacked coherent world building. It lacked the interesting stories going on in the background that made the galaxy feel real and lived-in. The camera is glued to protagonists, and even then their story is lazy, haphazard and awful. Hell, it doesn’t need even make sense in the wider context.

Lucas had way more answers for how the Galaxy functioned and what was going on in other parts of it than anyone on the Disney story team, even if a lot of those stories were stupid.
I think the best comparison of this to the OT is simple. You can make entire movies. books, and comics out of stray lines of dialogue in the OT and PT.

You can make -nothing- from this that isn't A: Filling in massive plot holes (How the First Order came to be) or B: Filling in stuff never even hinted at in the movies themsleves (Snokes... oddly homo-erotic comic thing above).
 
Padme/Shimi had black hair, it was in the gene pool.

He doesn't look like Luke, or much like Anakin. But, if we were to take all the preceding family members of the Skywalker family: he looks like he could be one of them
What? No they didn't.

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Neither of their hair was that much darker than Anakin's, to be honest. Kylo's is straight black.
 
Bruh I'm not "baiting". Just doing research for my anthropology class. If someone can explain to me why obsessing over Sonic or My Little Pony is autistic and lolcow material, but obsessing about Star Wars - just another franchise of children entertainment - is absolutely normal, I promise to leave this thread forever and let you sperg in peace.

>obsessing
ok
>just another franchise of children entertainment
*tips*
>Just doing research for my anthropology class.
let me know when you're done, wanna see your thesis based on shitposting
 
As was dying after "losing the will to live" apparently...
And let's just take a moment to realize that Kylo Ren figured out the secret to immortality/life that Palpatine, Anakin and so many others (including Plagueis and all siths in old canon) greatly desired... It was true love's fucking kiss. That's the big answer right there according to Disney. Effectively making the whole goal and search for it anti-climactic. True love's first kiss bullshit in true Disney fashion.
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"Don't worry cousin. The secret to life is my swollen lips on yours while my big fat nose pokes your eye out."
 
>obsessing
ok
>just another franchise of children entertainment
*tips*
>Just doing research for my anthropology class.
let me know when you're done, wanna see your thesis based on shitposting

1100+ pages and 20.000+ posts on a forum that's not even about Star Wars is not obsessing? So what is it? And don't make me mention the niggas who post exclusively in this thread and have 1000+ posts only here and don't post in lolcow threads.

The target audience for this shit are children, always has been. Not sure what your problem is, is it a faux pas to mention that you are all obsessing about a series of commercials for kids toys?
 
So who'll be the audience for this? who'll like it? Critics, SJWs, shippers and shills all seem to hate it, the old fans aren't coming back...Who is this film for?

I guess either some edgy contrarian that wants his opinions to be taken seriously or norms who'll like anything as long as it has cool action scenes and explosions.

Also, hilarious to see Disney's hypocrisy. They mock true love's kiss and refuse to portray romances in their new Princess films but apparently in Star Wars it's allowed to heroically exist. What a joke.
 
1100+ pages and 20.000+ posts on a forum that's not even about Star Wars is not obsessing? So what is it? And don't make me mention the niggas who post exclusively in this thread and have 1000+ posts only here and don't post in lolcow threads.

The target audience for this shit are children, always has been. Not sure what your problem is, is it a faux pas to mention that you are all obsessing about a series of commercials for kids toys?
"For children"
"PG-13 rating"

Someone apparently didn't tell Disney the movie was for kids! Pack it all up, this thread is worthless!
 
It gets better, since they planned to (and even shot) Matt Smith as young Palpatine... even PALPATINE has brown hair.
That explains why Matt Smith apparently isn't in the movie, JJ probably thought flashbacks are weird in Star Wars (hey, he's actually right for once), especially flashbacks of Palpatine.

And don't make me mention the niggas who post exclusively in this thread and have 1000+ posts only here and don't post in lolcow threads.
From what I remember, you started out as a terrible poster too. Who the fuck posts their block list expecting to get asspats?
 
1100+ pages and 20.000+ posts on a forum that's not even about Star Wars is not obsessing? So what is it? And don't make me mention the niggas who post exclusively in this thread and have 1000+ posts only here and don't post in lolcow threads.

The target audience for this shit are children, always has been. Not sure what your problem is, is it a faux pas to mention that you are all obsessing about a series of commercials for kids toys?
I would argue with blockbaby faggot over here, but he's been so triggered by me that he actually uses the block feature to ignore me.

What's wrong, piss baby? Did your daddy love Star Wars more than he loved you?
 
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1100+ pages and 20.000+ posts on a forum that's not even about Star Wars is not obsessing? So what is it? And don't make me mention the niggas who post exclusively in this thread and have 1000+ posts only here and don't post in lolcow threads.

The target audience for this shit are children, always has been. Not sure what your problem is, is it a faux pas to mention that you are all obsessing about a series of commercials for kids toys?

Funny you mention that, considering how the toy sales have tanked through the floor. It issue isn't just that Disney made a bad movie, it's the fact that the largest entertainment company on the planet had the rights to (arguably) the largest film franchise on the planet, and through sheer corporate mismanagement and demographics baiting, completely and totally destroyed a property that had a loyal pay-for-any-merch fanbase for 40 FUCKING YEARS. Even if you don't care about Star Wars, the failure of this on a business level is still an unmissable trainwreck.
 
I sometimes wonder what it would cost under-the-table to have some clerk quietly lace one of his fancy coffee beverages with laxatives.

he got fired since, from marvel too I think. no idea what he's doing now, but considering his hot takes on twitter and spergout after he was canned probably sucking another woke comany's cock or trying to go "indie" begging on patreon for shekels.

That is one of the stupidest fucking things I have ever seen in regards to writing.
(you have no idea how bad that Aftermath trilogy is).
Oh piss off you moron. History is not full of "retcons" not unless you want to claim the Dark Ages was such. Goddamn pathetic writers in Hollywood, Marvel etc. And keep in mind these same POS and their lap dog "critics" will bitch and moan with wild abandon when their bullshit gets "retconned' (see their reaction to Ghostbusters : Afterlife or better yet Episode IX).

some more wendig conversation starters, can't have the thread slowing down

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I'm expecting pics of empty theaters this weekend. It's not really going to be the case, but even if the theater's half-empty, that will suffice. Disney's going to be shitting bricks for a while.

Makes me wonder whether Disney will pull another Captun Mahvel and pay for tickets to increase the BO. Can they even afford to do that this time around?
 
I would argue with blockbaby faggot over here, but he's been so triggered by me that he actually uses the block feature to ignore me.

What's wrong, piss baby? Did you daddy love Star Wars more than he loved you?
Star Wars has always been especially vapid, George Lucas isn't even a low IQ Tolkien. Star Wars lore is god awful and under Disney it's now far worse than ever before. It is wise to talk shit about Star Wars and Star Wars fans. It is a positive act.
 
stop being a tard
"For children"
"PG-13 rating"

Someone apparently didn't tell Disney the movie was for kids! Pack it all up, this thread is worthless!

I'm sure it's just an accident that all commercials for this shit featured literal children, the fact that you even observed in this very thread. It wasn't 20+ people, it wasn't 30+ manbabies, all ads have literal children playing with play pretend light sabers, gee I wonder why.

And I see you don't consider 13 year olds children? So 13 year olds are adults? Nigga you give too much credit to my thesis that all star war nerd faggots are pedos.
 
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