Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Suburban Bastard]

Immediately after my last post, Kylo snatches Rey's necklace thingamajig

The implications of the dark side being capable of that are FUCKING IMMENSE- Oh he's using it to identify which planet Rey is on, I guess that makes se- Wait, how are the first order there already?

SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!

Edit: and IMMEDIATELY gets shot by an arrow, complete with a figure telling the crew "Follow me!"

This all happens in ONE fucking minute

The infamous double edit: It's Lando

 

[Markorian]

I hope they make another movie and start with a lengthy, brutal scene where they rape and murder Baby Yoda for no reason at all. There must be some fans still left out there.

I guarantee you if Rian somehow weasels his way into actually getting a movie, let alone a trilogy still, he'll manage to include something about baby yoda being dead.

 

[UnKillFill]

So if #TheForceIsFemale, is the reason why RoS sucks so much because she's on the rag?

 

[Judge Holden]

I thought he died in Vietnam!

No chinky-dink war crimes trial can hold Kolonel Klaud

 

[Oskar Dirlewanger]

tumblr tranny artist cow Jessica Udischas posts a dissenting thought and briefly puts their fellow trannies on High Trigger Alert for possible wrongthink, before de-escalating each other from jumping off a rooftop:
View attachment 1058817 View attachment 1058818

This movie has to be at least mediocre, or mentally unstable people are going to kill someone, or themselves.

It's obvious why troons love star wars. If with enough blackmail and whining you can force people to pretend a shitty ad is an actual movie, maybe you can also force people to pretend some ugly faggot is a cute girl? Worth a try

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Blessed be the leaker of the cam-rip.

Lastly, let's not write off this Disney Trilogy just yet because I see a great way it can be useful: as a means of teaching film students how not to do a trilogy. Not to mention how not to do a 'sequel series'. I heard someone's already using The Last Jedi as how not to write a screenplay or something. Go further than that. Use the entire trilogy. As long as this disaster exists, there might as well be some good use out of it.

That's a good point. The original Star Wars is used as the "ur example" in screenwriting, like that's the formula screenplays use. By carrying on that tradition and bringing it full circle, they could do the "how NOT to write a screenplay" with Disney's trilogy. Then every single film student will get tired of Star Wars. Absolute genius.

 

[Suburban Bastard]

Tie Fighter sound in distance

Lando: "I got a bad feeling about this"

 

[InsolentGaylord]

I mean I'm more surprised this means doom cock might of had an actual source this entire time.

Of course he had a source. But sometimes the info may have been wrong (the source was given the wrong info to throw off legit leaks, they did this with Endgame) or due to reshoots and rewrites changed over time.

 

[Judge Holden]

HOLY SHIT!

I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW SHEEV SURVIVED!

EDIT: oh fuuuuuck......now all the budget cuts make sense! he was funnelling cash from Vaders boot budget to build his fleet of ultra star destroyers on exogol!

 

[InsolentGaylord]

Did they just fucking kill chewie?!

Edit: Wait he survived somehow.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Can anyone explain the in universe rationale for horse riding on the surface of a star destroyer? Why they couldn't grab something that, I don't know, was faster and harder to shoot with fixed emplacement guns, like, I dunno, a fighter of some variety?

Edit: And where did the horses come from anyhow?

 

[Rotollo]

Of course he had a source. But sometimes the info may have been wrong (the source was given the wrong info to throw off legit leaks, they did this with Endgame) or due to reshoots and rewrites changed over time.

I honestly thought he just copied what he found on /tv/ or some shit like most vidya """leakers""" do with /v/

 

[InsolentGaylord]

I honestly thought he just copied what he found on /tv/ or some shit like most vidya """leakers""" do with /v/

He sometimes did. But not always.

 

[vertexwindi]

Oh man, I completely forgot:

This past Sunday me and the missus were eating at a Japanese all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant. Me and her stared in bafflement at this guy who walked in who was so fat he could've occupied two seats. He was dining with a woman and he started loudly talking about Star Wars to her and I had to hold my laughter in. I could barely hear her over him. Talk about stereotypical.

 

[Suburban Bastard]

The THEY FLY NOW scene ends with them getting blasted and landing into the desert's one and only black quick-sand. They actually try to bullshit the protagonist's seemingly death 30 minutes in:
Finn "Rey....REY, REY, I never told you that I...muffled" gobbled by sand
Rey: "Wut?" also gobbled by sand

 

[Shield Breaker]

Can anyone explain the in universe rationale for horse riding on the surface of a star destroyer? Why they couldn't grab something that, I don't know, was faster and harder to shoot with fixed emplacement guns, like, I dunno, a fighter of some variety?

Edit: And where did the horses come from anyhow?

I would have given the movie a pass if they had slid off to their deaths.

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

Still a better character than Rey.

I liked his cameo role in this obscure early-2000s avant garde indie animation piece based on an audio drama that taught children to draw their favorite cartoon characters:

EDIT: Fixed the couple milliseconds of audio out of sync

 

[Emperor Julian]

So I watched the movie and here are my thoughts

-it's overall better than the last jedi
-killing of luke instead of leia in last jedi was a horrible mistake and it really bites them in the ass this movie.
-Their are loads of weird little plot threads hinted at but don't really go anywhere, for example the red stormtroopers.
-on the same note their are loads of little details which don't really do anything for the plot. At least two characters which should have been drafted out earlier or are ultimately pointless.
-The film effectively ignores last jedi or soft retcons it when you can't get around it. Last jedi is pointless now.
-They still struggle with the 'war' part of star wars, since the Rebels victory really stretches credability
-Ian mcdiarmid is always, fun.
-The critics are idiots if they hate this in comparison to the last two. It's more of the same.

 

[Haramburger]

This past Sunday me and the missus

poofter

 

[Ginger Piglet]

The THEY FLY NOW scene ends with them getting blasted and landing into the desert's one and only black quick-sand. They actually try to bullshit the protagonist's seemingly death 30 minutes in:
Finn "Rey....REY, REY, I never told you that I...muffled" gobbled by sand
Rey: "Wut?" also gobbled by sand

For fuck's sake. If she can lift a mountain with her totally not arse-pulled force skills, she can levitate them out the sand or stabilise the sand so it's more solid and less colloidal and thus allow them to escape thus.