Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[King Dead]

They're trying but with difficulty what with Disney sending out C&Ds to anyone that makes anything that may rival their shit and makes their shit look bad by not having sequel tie-ins. Only high profile one that got away with anything was SW Theory's Vader movie and a fan film about Malakili the Rancor Keeper, but only because they didn't use tracks from the movie. As for fan games or remakes, those seem to be constantly getting screwed over by EA too despite showing the most promise.

I think what @Silent Observer was hoping for was that current fans of Star Wars would put their anger at Disney towards good use and start coming up with their own original ideas that essentially carry on the series in spirit. While it seems unlikely that we'll get anything along those lines at a blockbuster scale these days (what with studios basically refusing to greenlight anything that's not part of an existing franchise), there's room for smaller productions, things like fan films that are maybe 10-15 minutes tops that try to capture that feel again. And there's some legitimate talent on Youtube and across the internet that could definitely pull some good stuff together.

To everyone bummed out over Plan IX, I would like to offer some cautious optimism. I mentioned before that I'm hoping that Dune doesn't get fucked up, and I'm keeping hope alive that it won't. Directed by Denis Villeneuve (Sicario, Arrival, Blade Runner 2049), score by Hans Zimmer (yeah I know a few of you expressed dislike of him, but note that he specifically turned down Christopher Nolan's next movie because he's really passionate about Dune), solid-looking cast, and adapted over two movies to avoid trying to cram everything in that novel into one. Villeneuve has stated this is a dream project for him, and that he wants to create "Star Wars for adults." Funny how we've gone full circle there, with Dune fans back in the day claiming Lucas ripped it off for Star Wars, and now the director of the latest adaptation says he wants to make an adult Star Wars.

And at this rate, it might end up being the most Star Warsy thing we get on the big screen in modern times. First movie's out next December, second one in 2021.

 

[Reverend]

I have a feeling that Rian wanted to do that but Kathleen Kennedy screeched at him to change that because she didn't want her self insert to be evil.

Which would've been the best part of the ST Rey's fall to the dark side through rage, fear, abandonment and finally learning that she can over come this with force powers, and Kylo Ren's redemption arc.

That small subtle change, Rey's rage at being sidelined like women have been treated in the past and her culmination in ultimate power by striking down Palpatine to then be saved by Kylo's "I was wrong let me show you how I was" could've made this movie 1000x better. Kylo could've still died but his death would be to free her from her demons, help her see there is another way, remove the taint of the dark side that plagued him for ages, and Rey to become the ultimate equalizer as she has seen both sides.

But fuck no, we can't have a WHITE MAN be the hero anymore! Fuck that all white men are EVIL to be saved by WOMEN!111! QUICK NEED A MEXICAN TRANNY TO KISS AN ALIEN ON SET ! TAKE 1488!

 

[Judge Holden]

I was actually liked the theme of "kill the past" in Episode 8 because of the constant reboots and remakes of everything these days, ESPECIALLY Star Wars, but then they chickened out at the end of the movie and reverted to the standard empire/dark side vs. rebelion/light side story at the end.

Kylo and Rey teaming up against the resistance would be an interesting set up for Episode 9, with her old friends trying to bring Rey back. Too bad either Rian chickened out, or Disney realized what was happening too late and couldn't correct course in time.

The problem is, such a theme and indeed any attempt at subverting expectations only works when you replace what you are subverting with something of equal or greater value and interest to the audience.

In TLJ's case, this was a sour anorexic plank mary sue and her sub-twilight tier romance with an emo space hitler, a bumbling black comic relief character whose potential from the last film is now completely wasted, a mexican being repeatedly shrieked at for not mindlessly trusting a smug idiot dangerhair, and a frumpy asian potato lady who does nothing but free some racehorses while leaving slave children to rot and prevent said black comic relief from going out with dignity.

To use a metaphor, this is like switching vanilla ice cream with congealed hobo semen and expecting people to lap it up because of how clever it is to subvert peoples expectations of some nice vanilla ice cream

 

[Jack Awful]

gotta defend EA here (I know, I know), but they can be cool about fan mods. the way they handled the c&c renegade remake was exceptional (not in the world filter sense). basically they allowed them to do how they want, just don't use the official name and don't take money for it. there, done.

EA can be great if they just let developers make the games they want.
Battlefront 2 is a blast now because they removed all the microtransactions, and Respawn's single player only Fallen Order is great too.

 

[PseudoScrooge]

I'd like to also point out that in one of the original drafts of Return of the Jedi, Obi-Wan and I also think Yoda was supposed to resurrect in the end after helping Luke defeat the Emperor.

THANK you for that--I have been meaning to post that as well since the film's come out, and I've been too far behind in this elephantine thread.

My personal feeling is that this was another thing Abrams intended to copy, except expanding it to include more Jedi, all swarming around Rey and helping her blast the Emperor. (In the end though, all she needed was a pep talk because she is the BESTEST EVAR.) Remember there were rumors of Hayden Christensen having scenes filmed....in the end though, the "ghost quotient" was too high for the asian audiences, which Disney was depending on for those almighty Chinese coins with holes in them.

 

[Creep3r]

Even the Disney animals in IX look diseased...

Looks more like a Fallout mutant.

 

[ZMOT]

EA can be great if they just let developers make the games they want.

that's how we got battlefield 5 and all the bioware retardation tho anthem is actually not that bad, certainly expected worse. if you ignore the utterly stupid parts in the writing like 50% are apparently gay and a racial composition that makes no sense there's a bit of potential

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

You know what? Fuck RedLetterMedia and the Plinkett character.

They're dilettantes whose criticism of the prequels apply just as much, if not more so, to the Original Trilogy. All the while, they caked their "funny" reviews with a smug spicing of superficial film critiques and arbitrary criteria for what makes and doesn't make good stories. And the worst part is that every unoriginal critic parrots their reviews as if they're some sort of gospel.

But when the egg is on their face, they're quick to denounce or qualify their previous suggestions. "Oh," they say, "we never really thought Jar Jar was a perfect fit for Star Wars! Even though we said he was amazing for Star Trek!"

Thanks, RLM. You're part of the reason we're in the timeline where JJ ruined two classic Sci-fi films.

I wouldn't go so far in giving them actual part in the new trilogy. The criticism of the prequels being too different is well known and Disney recycling everything is a great example of Monkey's paw.

But it would be nice if an internet reviewer got what he was asking for, discovered it was shit and went "I was completely wrong".

 

[Jack Awful]

I wouldn't go so far in giving them actual part in the new trilogy. The criticism of the prequels being too different is well known and Disney recycling everything is a great example of Monkey's paw.

But it would be nice if an internet reviewer got what he was asking for, discovered it was shit and went "I was completely wrong".

It isn't that they were just recycling, it was that they tried to have it both ways, but didn't fully commit to either way.

They could have easily had a solid trilogy if they just kept doing what they set up to do in episode 7.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

let's take a look at the breakdown of the box office by gender so.
Thursday night's audience was made up of 48% males over 25, 25% females over 25, 19% males under 25 and 9% females under 25.

It looks to me like this dipshit doesn't know the audience for Starwars is predominantly male. Why the fuck should it have to pander to women?
To paraphrase Brie Larson, it wasn't made for you ladies.

It wasn't made for 30-40 something year old men either. It was made for 7-13 year old boys. If Star Wars is too remain relevant, it's going to need to grab/pander to them at some point.

Something that Favreau seems to understand, thankfully...

Doesn't mean anyone can't enjoy it though...

 

[Exceptionally Exceptional]

Even the Disney animals in IX look diseased...
View attachment 1064700
Looks more like a Fallout mutant.

That thing had the potential to be cute, but whoever made it knows nothing about why animals are actually cute. For one thing, animals never show that much white at once. Fuck, HUMANS don't show that much eye white at once! But animals are generally a lot cuter when the iris covers up the majority of the whites of their eyes. And it's eyes being crossed makes it look fucking inbred.

One simple change and it now looks a lot more tolerable and less stupid.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

What? You don't like french horn orgies in your films?

Zimmer's last good score was Interstellar's. Indeed, the only thing I really love about that film is its, frankly, amazing musical accompaniment.

Oh, I don't know, I hate his stupid middle eastern wailing shit..

His terrible wrongheaded use of industrial synth stuff...

Not saying he is incapable of quality, but I've disliked his compositions, more often than not...

Each his own I guess...

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

Even the Disney animals in IX look diseased...
View attachment 1064700
Looks more like a Fallout mutant.

Is it really called the Oki-Poki? That's not an alien name, that's a fucking children's dance.

 

[Creep3r]

Is it really called the Oki-Poki? That's not an alien name, that's a fucking children's dance.

You do the Oki Poki and you shake it all around... something something it shits out candy. ♪ ♫ ♬

I'm sure someone could add that to its wookieepedia page and no one would even notice or even doubt it.

 

[Introvertigo]

It’s interesting to note that one, Disney is definitely never going to have another big year like 2019 ever agin especially with Iger gone, and two Star Wars is likely now part of the streaming wars nonsense that’ll thankfully pop the streaming bubble in 2020.

Also, how embarrassing Star Wars is now reduced to a Netflix knockoff.
https://variety.com/2019/film/news/...-streaming-box-office-mandalorian-1203450593/

Well TBF Apple TV flopped so I think the streaming bubble burst is already happening, just very slowly.

 

[Exceptionally Exceptional]

Well TBF Apple TV flopped so I think the streaming bubble burst is already happening, just very slowly.

If Apple TV was anything like their shitass iTunes setup the fucker would delete your entire movie library if you didn't keep every single useless file from the DVD for "verification" purposes. Apple TV failed because Apple and it's services are insanely restrictive and are usually just plain bad.
Then again, I WOULD so love to see the streaming service bubble pop. I used to have everything I needed on Netflix. Then a bunch of shithead execs said "Ya, me too!" because they were discontent with their slice of pie and decided they needed a whole pie to themselves and now to get the original range of shit you had on Netflix you need to plunk down cash for around 5 goddamn streaming services for nearly the same shit you had in one place about a decade ago.

 

[Iwasamwillbe]

Just saw it. Was completely fine. Average, nothing special but the way people were shrieking about it I was expecting a fullblown dumpster fire. The way people were screaming about it's pacing and how "there's too much stuff going on!" has me convinced the majority of people who discuss movies online are fucking exceptional, everything was an easy to follow A to B to C narrative.

This is some shit bait.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

If Apple TV was anything like their shitass iTunes setup the fucker would delete your entire movie library if you didn't keep every single useless file from the DVD for "verification" purposes. Apple TV failed because Apple and it's services are insanely restrictive and are usually just plain bad.
Then again, I WOULD so love to see the streaming service bubble pop. I used to have everything I needed on Netflix. Then a bunch of shithead execs said "Ya, me too!" because they were discontent with their slice of pie and decided they needed a whole pie to themselves and now to get the original range of shit you had on Netflix you need to plunk down cash for around 5 goddamn streaming services for nearly the same shit you had in one place about a decade ago.

Bringing up my supposed "Disney getting sold" theory, Apple could have been considering buying Disney to boost their movie/TV library, though the idea of Apple running Star Wars sound as stupid as Disney running Star Wars. After all, Iger did stated that Apple and Disney were considered merger buddies.

The downside of the studios pulling their content out of Netflix to make their shitty knockouts is that Netflix is going to have to rely on making terrible, over expensive original content in order to fill the void.

 

[Reverend]

Look, even CATS is getting an upgrade after Shipping it LIVE. Why can't we see those alternate takes (Lucas one or JJ's would be preferable). If CATS can fix their shit over the weekend, LucasFuckingFilm who pioneered this can send out a new version.

Universal sends cinemas updated version of Cats with the worst CGI errors removed

Move is 'unheard of'... but it's unlikely to save this box office catastrophe.

www.creativebloq.com

The Cats movie opened on 20 Dec, and to say it did not go down well would be an incredible understatement. However, within tsunami of criticism were comments on the unfinished-looking special effects – it aimed to join the ranks of the best 3D movie effects in 2019 and missed, badly. So egregious were the errors, that on the day of release, Universal notified thousands of cinemas that it would be sending out a new version of the film with updated CGI, in a move that is 'unheard of' for a film that's already been released.

The news comes via a memo obtained by the The Hollywood Reporter, which detailed: "The updated movie will be available to download Sunday via a satellite server, while exhibitors who don't have access to the server will receive a hard drive by Tuesday, per Universal's note. The studio is asking that theaters replace the current print of Cats as soon as possible." Ouch.

That hand doesn't look very cat-like, Judi (Image credit: Universal via @jenelleriley)
Since the story broke, movie-goers have been taking to social media to share some of the VFX clunkers that made it into the original film (see our roundup of the worst CGI fails for more awkward errors). Jenelle Riley tweeted the image above with the comment: "This isn’t a joke: CATS was rushed into theaters before being finished so a new version is being sent to theaters with updated effects. How do you know if you have the old version? Look for Judi Dench’s human hand, wedding ring and all."



"[It's] just not finished... I witnessed an entire man, knit cap and coat, just standing in a scene among a gathering of cats. I saw a terrifying grey statue looming over a character, only for it to blink and realise it’s a woman who is a cat, but they coloured her and then forgot to add fur," reported Gizmodo.

Another Twitter user shared a screengrab – taken from the official trailer, nonetheless – that shows Rebel Wilson's Jennyanydots with a similarly un-cat-like hand-in-sleeve situation (read our take on the Cats trailers here).

Another suspiciously human hand makes it on screen (Image credit: Universal via @sugarjoeproblms)
Cats Tom Hooper has been open about the last-minute rush to get all the effects finished in time. At the movie's premiere he announced he'd finished just hours beforehand, following a 36-hour final push.

It's not the first CGI scandal of 2019, either. Earlier in the year, the huge backlash prompted by the Sonic the Hedgehog trailer prompted Paramount to go back to the drawing board and redesign the titular character in double-quick time, which may or may not have contributed to the VFX studio behind the film having to close its doors.

And while it seems, from the almost unanimous critical mauling Cats is getting, that unfinished VFX isn't the sum of this movie's problems, it does seem another clear sign that if you're going to make a movie where CG plays such a pivotal role, it's vital to afford the team the time and resources to develop and complete that element properly.

 

[Comicsgeist]

It wasn't made for 30-40 something year old men either. It was made for 7-13 year old boys. If Star Wars is too remain relevant, it's going to need to grab/pander to them at some point.

Something that Favreau seems red to understand, thankfully...

Doesn't mean anyone can't enjoy it though...

Yeah, it's for 13yr old boys, but they grew up, there's no reason Starwars couldn't either. One of the failings of the prequels was Lucas' insistance that it was for kids, yet packed them with ponderous politics about trade agreements that was boring to kids but too simplistic for adults, thus satisfying nobody.
And screw the whole 'Starwars is for everybody' narrative. Look at those numbers again. The audience was nearly 70% male (and a bunch of wives and girlfriends there under protest).
Sure girls can like Starwars (but most really could give a shit), nobody said they can't. Guys can like rom-coms, but they're not made for you, and shouldn't be obliged to pander to you. You never hear anyone say, 'what Love Actually needs is a car chase and a gun fight to get the teen boys in', so Kennedy can fuck off with her Force is female nonsense, the force penetrates and binds us.... It clearly has a dick.